Alive: {A Good Man}
Title: ALIVE
Chapter: {A Good Man}
Previous Chapters: {Tell Me Goodbye} {Haru Haru} {Until Whenever} {Love Song}
Author: miss_blacque
Rating: PG-13
As he reached the waiting room in front of the emergency operating theatre, Seungri noticed two things at once. One was the way Daesung was slumped in a corner. The other was TOP, whose white shirt was absolutely blood-soaked.
...but why is TOP hyung walking so quickly towards Youngbae hyung while looking so....oh shit!
Seungri felt the alarm bells go off in his head as he realised the murderous look on TOP's face. Rushing forward, he tried to stop the eldest hyung, but Seungri was too late.
The blow was delivered even before he could reach his two hyungs. But TOP didn't just stop at punching Taeyang once. Straddling his fallen group member, TOP delivered blow after blow until Seungri managed to pull him away from the shocked Taeyang.
"Hyung!! What are you doing?? Get a hold of yourself!!" Seungri pushed his hyung back, attempting to put some distance between the two, but TOP wasn't listening.
"YOU!! YOU DARE TO SHOW YOUR FACE UP HERE, YOUNGBAE??!" TOP shouted, his finger pointed at the still-stunned Taeyang.
Seungri glanced at Taeyang.
TOP's blows had done a pretty messy job on his friend. Taeyang's nose was bloodied and his lips torn. The left eye was starting to swell from TOP's repeated punches, but the singer doesn't seem to be concerned about his own well-being at all. Instead, he was staring back at the tall rapper, confusion clearly reflected in his eyes.
The maknae turned back to TOP, who was struggling to release himself from the younger man's grip.
"Stop it, hyung! We know that a lot of things have been happening lately, but I don't think it's right for us to be fighting over the group's situation right now."
"I'm not talking about him leaving the group, you little fucker!! I'm talking about how that bastard right there was the one who attempted to kill Jiyong!!"
TOP's shocking revelation stunned both Seungri and Taeyang.
It was unthinkable. It didn't even sound right, and yet Seungri knew he had heard his hyung's words loud and clear.
"...what are you talking about hyung...?" Seungri whispered, not wishing to believe the tall rapper's accusation.
TOP glared at the youngest member of BIGBANG.
"I saw him stab Jiyong, Seungri," he said, his voice thick with sudden emotions. His glare turned back to Taeyang. "I saw this fuckin bastard stab our leader, and then run off like the coward he had always been."
Seungri glanced at Taeyang again. His anguished expression upon hearing TOP's harsh accusations was almost unbearable to look at, and Seungri pitied him. But the maknae also felt a single strand of doubt spreading like blight on his sympathy for Taeyang. Especially when he recalled his hyung's phone conversation earlier.
Is Youngbae hyung involved in this...? Is that why he isn't defending himself....?
"Hyung," Seungri turned his attention towards the singer. "Youngbae hyung, why aren't you saying anything, hyung? Your silence...are you telling me that TOP hyung is right...?"
Taeyang looked at the maknae. He was already heartbroken by TOP's accusation, but to hear the maknae question him like this...
"You too, maknae...?" he whispered, his voice trembling from the hurt.
Seungri quickly shook his head, almost instantly regretting his decision to question his hyung.
"No, hyung. I don't believe that you tried to kill Jiyong hyung. But...it's just that....your phone call earlier...." Seungri trailed off.
"What about the phone call?" TOP asked sharply.
Seungri was torn. He was not sure if he should reveal what he heard from Taeyang's phone call to the clearly agitated TOP. For all he knows, it might make things worse than they already are.
Seungri took a quick glance around them for the first time since he arrived. The waiting room was empty save for the 4 of them.
"Youngbae hyung, please tell me that you didn't attempt to kill Jiyong hyung. Please....I'll believe you if you just say it. Because I know you are not the type to do such a despicable thing," he urged Taeyang, effectively ignoring TOP's question. But the eldest hyung wasn't going to let him get away with it.
"Don't ignore me, maknae. What is it about the phone call you said just now?"
Seungri looked away, refusing to answer TOP.
"Youngbae hyung, please....please say something to defend yourself!" Seungri pleaded with his still-silent hyung. He struggled to get away from TOP's tight grip on his forearm, pushing the elder away as he did so. This provoked TOP and he pulled his hand back to retaliate.
"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!!"
Taeyang's sudden bellow startled the fighting members. Even Daesung, who had been staring listlessly at the blank wall in front of him despite the ongoing drama, looked up in surprise.
Taking a deep breath, Taeyang sought to calm himself down. His tumultuous emotions and wrecked mind are hardly in the condition to make the right judgments, but Taeyang knew, the time had come for him to come clean with his members.
Looking up at the 3 pairs of eyes staring at him, Taeyang gathered every bit of courage he could find within him to speak the words he didn't think he would ever say.
It has finally come down to this, eh Youngbae?, he thought to himself as he pulled himself up from the floor.
"Jiyong being in this state," he started, "it's all because of me."
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There was a stunned silence from the members. Even TOP who had been accusing him right from the start simply stared at Taeyang blankly, as if unable to comprehend what he is hearing. Surprisingly, out of the three members, it was Daesung who was the first one to spoke up.
"What do you mean, Youngbae hyung?"
Taeyang looked at each of them straight in the eye.
"I'm saying, all this is my fault. Jiyong being stabbed, it's because of me."
TOP's reaction was kind of not unexpected as he rushed forward. Since Taeyang already knew what was coming, he managed to avoid his hyung's punch, although TOP's knuckles did graze the skin of his left cheek. Grabbing the other's fist, Taeyang pushed his member back.
"Listen to me first, hyung!" he pleaded.
The tall rapper did not look as if he was going to heed Taeyang's plea initially, but then he stopped. Dropping his forcefully unclenched fists to his sides, TOP looked away, bitter resentment in his eyes.
"Go away, Youngbae. Go before I hit you again."
Taeyang froze, before nodding reluctantly.
"Fine, I will leave if that is what you truly want me to do, hyung. But please, hear me out first."
"We don't want to hear your fuckin excuses, Youngbae," TOP snapped, his hands balled up in a fist again. "You've hurt Jiyong dammit. And he's now in there, fighting for his own life, because you are a cold-hearted fuckin bastard who dared to hurt your own bestfriend for your own selfish agenda. Do you even know how he had been ever since you left? How heartbroken he had been?? You didn't even bother to call, for fuckin goodness sake!!"
Taeyang looked down in shame as TOP faltered at the end of his angry rant, his voice turning hoarse from the emotions choking his words. They had been words of truth, and he knew he couldn't speak up for his own defense.
It's useless...they wouldn't believe me anyway...not even if I explain to them what is happening...
"Seunghyun hyung," Seungri spoke up, his voice soft as he placed a hand on the crying TOP's shoulder. "I know you are angry about what happened to Jiyong hyung, but...let's hear Youngbae hyung out first..."
Taeyang looked up at the maknae, feeling grateful for the look of trust in the younger man's eyes. Gathering the shards of his broken confidence once again, Taeyang turned his serious gaze towards TOP.
"Hyung, the guy you saw stabbing Jiyong wasn't me. That guy is Takazawa Keisuke. He's the brother of Takazawa Hiroto, the guy who got Jiyong into the marijuana scandal."
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Taeyang wasn't used to drinking in the presence of people other than his members, so although it was a party to celebrate the completion of their Love and Hope tour in Japan, he held back on the drinks. GD and TOP on the other hand, were downing the potent shots like mineral water. Seungri, just as drunk, was making out with one of the club hostess in a corner of the room. Even Daesung, who normally would give the alcoholic drinks a pass, is halfway through passing out from his 3rd glass.
Taeyang smiled to himself. Seeing Daesung like this, it must have meant that the guy had been really exhausted from the tour.
Not that Taeyang isn't tired himself. Having had a string of promotions for their comeback as a group after 2 years of rest and solo work prior to the tour, Taeyang wondered if he'll be able to keep this up 5 years down the road. And even though the recently-ended tour was more of a charity concert to help the recent tsunami-struck victims in the major Sendai earthquake, Taeyang had to admit that he is almost running out of fuel.
"Youngbae ah...I...need to pee..." Jiyong slurred as he leaned in towards his bestfriend.
Taeyang smiled. "Do you need help going to the toilet, Jiyong...?"
GD stared at Taeyang, not answering.
"Jiyong?" Taeyang prompted again.
"Youngbae ah....you are such a good best friend, do you know that? I mean, which other guy would want to accompany his friend to the toilet? You are the bestest of the good bestest friend. Thank you for being such a bestest friend, Youngbae ah....You are truly my Taeyang! My Sun! My light! I love you more than ever, Taeyang-ssi...."
Taeyang looked around embarassed when GD suddenly weep from his own emotional speech.
Shit, this guy is really drunk.
"Ji...Jiyong...I think you are too drunk. Here here...stop crying," Taeyang soothed him as he grabbed a nearby napkin. "You need to go to the toilet, remember?" he reminded his friend, hoping it will distract GD from the drunken theatrics.
Sniffling into the napkin, GD nodded before rising from his seat. When he stumbled a little, Taeyang grabbed his leader and steadied him, but GD puts up a hand to indicate he is fine and pushed his member's hands away.
"It's okay, Bae...I'm fine...I'm not that drunk. I can do this...you...you just seat down right here...I'll be right back before you know it."
Taeyang smiled at GD's drunk confidence and let go of his friend. He knew that GD would vehemently object it if he insisted.
I know my stubborn little friend too well...Him and his ego....
Shortly after GD left, Taeyang followed his leader from a distance, his concern over-riding his initial wish to not hurt GD's pride. Even though they are in the VIP section, but the club is still open to the public.There are many Japanese fans who recognised them, and Taeyang is worried that some crazy fangirl will sneak up behind his bestfriend and snap a picture of GD's "dragon".
Taeyang smirked at the thought. Not wishing to ponder on his bestfriend's "dragon", Taeyang stepped in cautiously into the toilet, not wanting to attract his leader's attention. Standing in a hidden corner that still gives him a good view of the entire room, Taeyang saw that the toilet was empty, except for his bestfriend and another guy. When GD approached the urinal next to the other guy's, the young man who is probably in his mid-twenties gave a little bow in acknowledgement.
Taeyang watched as the guy waited for GD to be done. Probably sensing the star's unease at being watched, the other man proceeded to wash his hands at the sink.
He sure is taking his time, Taeyang thought to himself in reference to the guy who is still washing his hands by the time GD came up to the sink as well.
"Ano...." the Japanese guy spoke up as he turned to GD. As if startled by the guy's sudden bow, GD quickly returned the bow.
Typical polite Ji...even in his drunken state, he's doing his 90 degrees bow to a complete stranger.
"G-dragon-san? I am a huge fan of your's....Do you smoke? Can I offer you a smoke?" the guy asked, as he took out a metal tin. Opening it up, Taeyang realised that the guy is offering some cigars.
GD tried to reject his offer, but the guy kept pushing for the Bigbang leader to take a stick. Torn between his decision and his own image, GD reluctantly accepted a stick from the guy. The other man bowed in gratitude and offered to light the cigarette up for GD, who naturally obliged.
"G-dragon-san," the man said as he scribbled something onto a piece of paper he produced from his pocket. "Please let me know if you like it. I can give you many more," he continued as he pushed the piece of paper into GD's hands.
GD murmured his thanks as he took in a deep drag from the lit cigarette.
Taeyang watched a smirk form on the Japanese guy's face as he turned away to leave.
What the hell....?
As he walked past Taeyang, the Japanese man glanced up once at the Bigbang member before staring bleakly ahead. His eyes showed absolutely no signs of recognition.
Strange. If he is such a big fan of Ji, he should at least recognise me too...
Taeyang bit his lower lips and decided to approach his friend.
"Smoking in the toilet, Ji?"
GD looked up from the cigar he was scrutinising."Oh. Bae. Nah, just a fan who passed this to me....tastes funny though..."
Taeyang frowned. "Perhaps you are not used to smoking cigars?"
GD shrugged as he took in another long drag.
"That's true...but technically, cigars are tobacco too, right? But this doesn't really taste like the ciggies I usually smoke..."
He frowned at the cigar. "Damn. The Japanese sure are a weird bunch alrighty."
Moving to the bin in the corner, GD grind out his cigarette butt on the ashtray at the top and disposed it off. Fishing into his pocket, he threw something else along with it.
"I'll move out first, Bae...feeling a little light-headed all of a sudden...damn. I must be real drunk......" GD murmured as he walked past Taeyang, oblivious to the fact that his friend had been pretending to wash his hand for the past couple of minute.
The moment his leader disappeared from sight, Taeyang moved to the bin.
I thought so.
Sure enough, the other item his friend had discarded was the piece of note that the Japanese guy gave him. It contained a name written in Kanji; followed by a string of numbers that, Taeyang assumed, is the phone number belonging to the written name.
Taeyang wasn't exactly sure why he felt urged to pick up the crumpled note and slide it into his pocket, but he did. And as he did so, the soul singer felt a nagging ominous feeling in his heart, although he couldn't really pinpoint the source of it.
Stop it, Youngbae. You are worrying too much.
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When Daesung got into his car accident scandal, the entire group was thrown in an upheaval.The only positive thing about the entire episode was that Bigbang was done with their album promotions, and so they had quite a bit of spare time. Although they still continue to promote as 4, things weren't too hectic. The members will use their individual off days to accompany Daesung who had been locking himself up in his room at the dorm. They knew he is going through a rough time and tried not to show their concern too obviously, but the Bigbang members were pretty worried in case their usually smiling dongsaeng would do something drastic; especially after seeing some of the hateful comments being posted online.
Being the one who had always depended on his dongsaeng to listen to his problems and concerns, Taeyang took it upon himself to bring Daesung back out to the world. Even though Daesung doesn't seem to be responding as quickly as he hoped to, Taeyang would patiently wait for up to 20 mins outside his door to invite him to the dinner table and get him to eat with the rest of the members.
It was approximately half a month later, in the middle of the hot June summer of 2011, when Taeyang received a call from GD.
"Bae....?" his friend had started.
Taeyang smiled. "You at the studio, Ji?"
"Yeah...you at the dorm? How is our dongsaeng? Has he eaten lunch, yet?"
GD's daily call to whoever is looking after Daesung is an act that Taeyang truly extols about his best friend. It was very clear to all the members, including Daesung, about how worried their group leader is for his member. And so, in order not to worry his leader more, Daesung would come out of his room once in awhile. But the young man would not do anything much, choosing to sit only at the sofa in the living room, staring silently at the walls, before retreating back into his room roughly about an half hour later.
Taeyang sighed. "He refused lunch again."
"Ouh," came GD's only reply.
Taeyang frowned at this oddity. Usually his friend would sigh or nag at the member to ensure that Daesung will eat, but his dismal reply today seemed to show an unusually quiet Jiyong.
"Ji...? You okay, bro?" Taeyang asked out of concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine," GD answered straight away.
Taeyang's frown deepened.
"No. You are not fine. I know you too well, Ji. You can't lie to your Bae here."
His leader gave a loud sigh on the other line.
"Sometimes, I'm not sure whether to love or hate the fact that we know each other too well, Bae. I can't seem to be keeping any secrets from you, nor can I pretend not to know that you will bug me till I tell you." GD paused. "You are right, Bae. Something is up. The police are asking me to report."
Police...?
"Ji, did you do something wrong??" Taeyang asked his friend, alarmed to hear that the Bigbang leader is wanted by the police.
"No, I didn't," GD denied. "I know I didn't, but somehow, they want me."
"What for?" Taeyang queried.
"The guy didn't explain much, but I think they are testing me for dope. Aish! I can't believe they are taking those stupid Internet rumors seriously!!"
Taeyang fell silent at his friend's frustrated rant. There had been rumors floating around the net that claimed the Bigbang leader is involved with drugs. Apparently, they mistook some pictures of a very worn-out GD to be evidences that he is actually high when the pictures were taken.
If only they had known that his red-rimmed eyes and sudden weight loss were due to his sleepless nights spent in the studio to work on our next album for them...stupid netizens, Taeyang thought angrily to himself.
"Ji, are you really sure you didn't take any prohibited items, my friend? I know you mix around with quite a weird bunch but you wouldn't do something like that behind my back, right?"
"Aish!! Baeee!!! What the hell are you saying? Sheesh...of all people, I thought you would be the one person who would not question me, you know?"
Taeyang smiled, feeling relieved after hearing the frustration from his friend's voice. "I'm sorry, Ji. I was just joking."
"It's hardly something to joke about, Bae. I'm feeling real nervous here even though I know I didn't do anything wrong..." GD's voice trailed off with an uncertainty in his tone.
Taeyang felt pity for his worried leader.
"Ji, you need someone to accompany you? You want me to go together with you?"
"No. Manager hyung will be going with me, so it's okay. But...I have no idea how long they might detain me, so while I'm gone, I want you to take care after our brothers, okay? Especially Daesung. Make sure he eats."
Typical Ji...always so concerned for our group members even though he is the one in the tough spot right now...
"Don't you worry about us, Ji. Please take care of yourself instead. I'm sure everything will be alright." Taeyang comforted his friend.
"Thanks, bro," GD acknowledged gratefully. "But I want you to promise me something else, Bae. Don't let the others know about this. I don't want them to worry, especially since we're already having a hard time dealing with Daesung's accident."
Once again, Taeyang felt GD's selfless leadership touch his heart.
"You are truly a great leader, Ji," Taeyang voiced out his honest opinion.
"I'm not sure, Bae," GD murmured. "I'm not sure if I'll still be as great a leader as you mentioned after this, my friend...."
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When GD got back home, all worn-out and fatigued the next morning, Taeyang did not ask much. Rather, he waited until the Bigbang leader has had his sleep and started on lunch before he asked his friend for the details of his visit to the police headquarters.
To Taeyang's surprise, GD merely played it off as a matter that is hardly of any concern. He briefly explained how they asked him to undergo a urine and hair test, and then interrogated him for couple of hours. Taeyang waited for more, but that was all that GD offered as an explanation.
Taeyang immediately sensed how the leader had skimmed over his story.
"You are hiding something," he immediately pointed out.
GD sighed. "Is it not possible for me to keep some stuffs over to myself, Bae? Can't I have my own secrets as well?" he asked, sounding more than just a little frustrated.
Taeyang shook his head. "Not for something as serious as this, Ji."
GD pouted, but Taeyang merely raised an eyebrow to indicate that he is not gonna fall for his leader's attempt to aegyo his way out.
The pout disappeared as GD rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness and heaved another sigh.
"Fine. They are suspecting that I smoked weed because apparently, they received some information from the Japanese police, who in turn, received the tip-off from an unknown source. I swear to God, Bae, I have NEVER smoked weed before. I absolutely swear. But the police told me they had to do something about it because the Japanese police force are involved in this and our Korean police chief somehow had to save his face and ass by showing they are doing something about it, although in reality, they are also convinced that this is really a non-existent matter."
Taeyang blinked a few times as he tried to digest the lengthy piece of information that his friend had somehow been able to dish out in a single breath.
He's a rapper, Taeyang had to remind himself.
"But why are the Japanese police involved in this?" he questioned GD further.
The Bigbang leader shrugged his shoulders. "Apparently, the source claim that was where I committed the act? Although that is just bullshit. I mean, if I truly had smoked weed, I should have at least known about it, right?"
Taeyang didn't answer his friend. There was something nagging in his heart, a vague memory that he can't quite recall, but one that he somehow knew is important.
Japan...Ji...smoking...what is it...?
"Bae? You listening to me?" GD asked as he waved a hand in front of Taeyang.
The soul singer lifted his eyes from the table, his train of thought broken by his friend's interruption. Nodding his head, Taeyang decide to ask his friend one last time.
"So you sure you are clean, Ji?"
"Not again, Bae!!" GD whined.
"I know, I know, I knooow...I just want to make sure, that's all," Taeyang placated his frowning leader.
"Yes, I am clean as a newly-washed dish, Bae. So let's stop this conversation right here, coz absolutely nothing is gonna happen, I assure you. Now just let me eat my lunch in peace, please?"
Taeyang nodded in silence as he leaves GD to finish his lunch. He knows exactly when it is a better move to just leave his friend with his adamant beliefs, rather than pursue the topic. But Taeyang can't seem to get rid of the nagging feeling of a memory that he is supposed to recall.
What is it that I should be remembering...?
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Taeyang finally managed to drag Daesung out of his room to the dining table.
"Ah, hyung! I told you I am not hungry...I ate at the church camp just now, don't you know?" Daesung whined, struggling to get out of the headlock his hyung had subjected him to; but Taeyang paid no heed to his dongsaeng's objections.
"Now that you have finally started talking, you are casually objecting your leader's orders? You wanna die, Daesungie?" Taeyang threatened.
Daesung merely pouted in response as he joins his hyungs at the dinner table. The leader and maknae have already started without the rest, Taeyang noted as he sat Daesung down and takes his own seat.
As TOP emerged from the bathroom, GD's phone suddenly started ringing.
"Jiyong ah! Your phone is ringing!" TOP called out to the leader.
"Ah hyung! Can you please pick it up for me? My hands are dirty from all the crab sauce," GD pleaded, displaying his preoccupation with the crab claw in his hands. TOP rolled his eyes and fetched GD's phone from where it was charging.
"Hello?...Yes, this is Kwon Jiyong's phone....Yes, he is around, but he is not available to talk right now....Can I take a message for him?"
There was a long silence, and when TOP spoke again, his voice sounded a little more grave.
"Sorry, may I know who's on the line?"
GD, who had been keeping an eye on his hyung through out the call suddenly stood up, his chair dragged back. It startled the other members; and by the time they looked up to see what was happening, they realised that TOP was glaring at their leader.
"Sure, I'll pass the phone to him right now," he voice sounded clipped as he handed the mobile over to it's owner. "It's Inspector Song on the line."
There was silence from all the other members. While Daesung and Seungri looked confused, Taeyang knew that GD's worried face is reflecting his own.
"Hello? This is Kwon Jiyong speaking."
There was a long pause from GD as he listened to the other person speaking. Suddenly, he fell back into his chair, his face turning deathly pale.
"The..there...there must be some mistake!" he stuttered over the phone. "No! I'm sure there has been some mistake in your...How...how can this be...??"
By now, the members were crowded around him, rising from their seat out of curiosity and concern. Only Taeyang remained in his seat, feeling just as shocked as his best friend, as he already knew what the call was about.
When GD finally put down the phone, TOP immediately grilled him.
"What was that call about, Jiyong?"
GD simply shook his head, unable to speak up, but it only frustrated TOP further. He had, afterall, heard the police inspector mention something about Jiyong's test result.
"This isn't right, Jiyong. You are our leader and you know you shouldn't be keeping any secrets from us," TOP said sternly, using his authority as the eldest in the group to get GD to talk, but the younger guy still couldn't speak up. Taeyang could see that he is still in shock.
"Hyung, please let him calm down for a minute," Taeyang pleaded on GD's behalf, but in return, he simply attracted TOP's narrowed, suspicious gaze onto himself.
"You knew something about this, don't you, Youngbae?"
TOP's spot on guess caught Taeyang off-guard. Unable to evade his hyung's question, Taeyang avoided TOP's strong gaze that seemed to penetrate his very soul.
The action confirmed TOP's suspicions.
"Aish! These two idiotic best friends! Out with it already!!" he bellowed out of frustration.
Taeyang glanced up at their leader. GD seemed to have spaced off despite TOP's angry proddings.
Sighing, Taeyang asked his hyung and the two dongsaengs to go back to their seats first. When they are finally settled in, with TOP grumpily planting his butt onto his own seat, Youngbae took another glance at GD.
Still no signs that he is going to explain himself....
"Guys," Taeyang started, only to be interjected by GD straightaway.
"It's okay, Youngbae. I'll explain it to them myself," the Bigbang leader assured. Taeyang stopped and looked at GD in apprehension. Even though GD's eyes didn't give much of a clue of how he is coping with the news, Taeyang saw a flash of emotions when their eyes met for a moment.
Guilt, remorse, disbelief and anger.
"Seunghyun hyung, Daesungie, maknae...I have a bad news to tell you guys. I was called by the police to go for a dope test 2 months ago, and just now, the call was confirm that even though my urine test was negative, the hair test that I did was positive....for marijuana."
Nobody said a thing. Not even Taeyang who already knew regarding the matter before hand. Hearing the words coming from GD himself felt surreal surreal. Especially since he knew that GD had not expected it himself.
The Bigbang leader who had been staring at his half-eaten crab all this while, finally looked up at his silent members.
"If noone has anything to say, I'll just get ready to go to the station now," GD spoke again, his voice sounding just as empty as his eyes.
"Jiyong hyung...you didn't do it, right...?" Seungri spoke up as his leader turned around to leave.
GD paused.
"I have scientifically-proven evidence working against me, Seungri. Will you still believe me if I say I didn't do it...?"
The maknae fell silent, unable to answer his leader.
GD smirked to himself as he left the room.
"I thought so."
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It has been hours since GD broke news regarding his situation. Seungri had long left the dorm as well, mumbling that he needed to get some fresh air. Daesung had retired to his room once again without a word of excuse. Only TOP and Taeyang were left, still seated at the dining table. Neither spoke a word, each lost in his own thoughts.
"Hyung," Taeyang finally broke the silence. "It's already 3am, you should go home."
TOP shook his head. "I'll stay till Jiyong get back."
Taeyang fell silent before speaking up again.
"Hyung, why aren't you asking me what happened to Jiyong?"
TOP looked at Taeyang, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy from the lack of sleep.
"It seemed to me that even Jiyong doesn't know what is going on himself, so I doubt you'll know. Do you?"
Taeyang shook his head wordlessly.
"I thought so."
TOP's words that echoed Jiyong's as he left the dorm earlier suddenly reminded Taeyang of his own thought when he picked up the note GD had thrown away from the bin during their wrap-up party months ago.
Taeyang's eyes widened as he recalled GD saying how the cigar had tasted funny.
Was that it?? Was that when it happened??!
Taeyang quickly took out his phone. He remembered saving a picture of the note in his phone.
At that moment, loud banging was heard from the front door. The two members looked at each other and went ahead to check what the matter was.
"Hyuuuuunnnnggg!!" Seungri slurred as he stumbled into TOP's arms the moment Taeyang opened the door. TOP scrunched up his nose.
"You shitty brat, getting drunk in times like this," the eldest member told off his maknae. Seungri shook his head.
"I'm not drunk, hyung...I'm sad! Seungri is sad!"
"Drunken idiot," TOP muttered under his breath again as he pulled away, leaving Taeyang and the maknae at the doorway.
"Where is Jiyong hyung?" Seungri asked, swaying slightly at his feet.
"He's not back yet. Come sit down. You look like you can hardly stand up any longer," Taeyang led the maknae to the dinner table where TOP was already seated. Fetching his youngest member a cup of water, Taeyang finds his thoughts going back to the photo of the note he had taken.
He was about to scroll for the picture once again when the security lock at the front door let out a beep to indicate it has been unlocked. The 3 members looked up to see a distraught-looking GD walking in with their manager.
"Jiyong..." Taeyang whispered as he stood up and moved towards his friend, but the maknae had beaten him to it.
"Hyung....Jiyong hyung....!" Seungri weeped as he clung to his leader.
Everyone in the room stared at the scene in surprise. It was uncharacteristic of the maknae to be crying so openly like this. Even GD himself was caught by surprise.
"Seungri ya," their manager spoke up, "let Jiyong hyung have his rest."
When Seungri still didn't let go, Taeyang turned to their manager and assured the guy that he will handle the rest. Their manager nodded, took a worried glance at the crying maknae and left the members on their own.
Initially Taeyang was worried that the maknae was very much affected by the situation, seeing how he simply cried without saying a word. But after 20 mins of non-stop crying, Taeyang got frustrated. He saw GD glance up at the two of them, his guilt-ridden expression clearly saying he doesn't quite know what how to handle the emotional maknae.
"Hyung, don't you think this is too much??" Taeyang asked TOP, who was still standing with his arms folded. The eldest member heaved a sigh of frustration as well and approached the maknae-leader duo. Grabbing the younger guy's forearm, he pulled Seungri away from GD.
"Enough of your crying, you drunken brat," TOP said. Glancing up at GD, he paused.
"You okay?"
The Bigbang leader nodded wordlessly, his eyes pained and burdened with remorse and guilt. TOP wanted to say something else, but then he glanced at the maknae who was still weeping loudly.
"I'll take him back to your apartment."
GD nodded wordlessly once again, unable to meet his hyung's gaze.
When both the eldest and youngest member finally left, Taeyang approached his best friend who seemed to be unable to look at his friend in the eye.
"You okay, bro? You know you can just be yourself now that it's just the 2 of us, right?"
At Taeyang's reminder, GD glanced up, seeing his best friend's supportive eyes looking back at him. As the two friends stare at each other, GD felt the burdening helplessness he had been holding back wash over him.
Taeyang watched as the emotions broke his friend down, piece by piece.
"I swore I didn't do it on purpose, Bae..." GD whispered as he looked away, the pain clearly heard in his voice.
Taeyang raised a hand and squeezed his leader's drooping shoulder to comfort him.
"I know, Ji. I know," the soul singer comforted his leader.
They fell silent for a couple of minutes, each lost in his own thoughts.
"Bae, you know what's crazy?" GD suddenly spoke up. "There's a freakin song inside my head right now, and it's reflecting my thoughts."
Taeyang looked up at his friend, puzzled by the sudden statement.
"What song is that, Ji?"
GD did not reply his friend. Instead he simply gave Taeyang a sad smile as he began to sing.
I wouldn’t be like this if I was a good man
But I am not a bad man, right?
Please don’t say it was a misunderstanding
A wrinkled sentimental heart, my last pride thrown away
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A/N: Thank you for your comments thus far, people. Please keep the comments coming! I really appreciate hearing your thoughts on the story. Happy New Year! :)
Chapter: {A Good Man}
Previous Chapters: {Tell Me Goodbye} {Haru Haru} {Until Whenever} {Love Song}
Author: miss_blacque
Rating: PG-13
As he reached the waiting room in front of the emergency operating theatre, Seungri noticed two things at once. One was the way Daesung was slumped in a corner. The other was TOP, whose white shirt was absolutely blood-soaked.
...but why is TOP hyung walking so quickly towards Youngbae hyung while looking so....oh shit!
Seungri felt the alarm bells go off in his head as he realised the murderous look on TOP's face. Rushing forward, he tried to stop the eldest hyung, but Seungri was too late.
The blow was delivered even before he could reach his two hyungs. But TOP didn't just stop at punching Taeyang once. Straddling his fallen group member, TOP delivered blow after blow until Seungri managed to pull him away from the shocked Taeyang.
"Hyung!! What are you doing?? Get a hold of yourself!!" Seungri pushed his hyung back, attempting to put some distance between the two, but TOP wasn't listening.
"YOU!! YOU DARE TO SHOW YOUR FACE UP HERE, YOUNGBAE??!" TOP shouted, his finger pointed at the still-stunned Taeyang.
Seungri glanced at Taeyang.
TOP's blows had done a pretty messy job on his friend. Taeyang's nose was bloodied and his lips torn. The left eye was starting to swell from TOP's repeated punches, but the singer doesn't seem to be concerned about his own well-being at all. Instead, he was staring back at the tall rapper, confusion clearly reflected in his eyes.
The maknae turned back to TOP, who was struggling to release himself from the younger man's grip.
"Stop it, hyung! We know that a lot of things have been happening lately, but I don't think it's right for us to be fighting over the group's situation right now."
"I'm not talking about him leaving the group, you little fucker!! I'm talking about how that bastard right there was the one who attempted to kill Jiyong!!"
TOP's shocking revelation stunned both Seungri and Taeyang.
It was unthinkable. It didn't even sound right, and yet Seungri knew he had heard his hyung's words loud and clear.
"...what are you talking about hyung...?" Seungri whispered, not wishing to believe the tall rapper's accusation.
TOP glared at the youngest member of BIGBANG.
"I saw him stab Jiyong, Seungri," he said, his voice thick with sudden emotions. His glare turned back to Taeyang. "I saw this fuckin bastard stab our leader, and then run off like the coward he had always been."
Seungri glanced at Taeyang again. His anguished expression upon hearing TOP's harsh accusations was almost unbearable to look at, and Seungri pitied him. But the maknae also felt a single strand of doubt spreading like blight on his sympathy for Taeyang. Especially when he recalled his hyung's phone conversation earlier.
Is Youngbae hyung involved in this...? Is that why he isn't defending himself....?
"Hyung," Seungri turned his attention towards the singer. "Youngbae hyung, why aren't you saying anything, hyung? Your silence...are you telling me that TOP hyung is right...?"
Taeyang looked at the maknae. He was already heartbroken by TOP's accusation, but to hear the maknae question him like this...
"You too, maknae...?" he whispered, his voice trembling from the hurt.
Seungri quickly shook his head, almost instantly regretting his decision to question his hyung.
"No, hyung. I don't believe that you tried to kill Jiyong hyung. But...it's just that....your phone call earlier...." Seungri trailed off.
"What about the phone call?" TOP asked sharply.
Seungri was torn. He was not sure if he should reveal what he heard from Taeyang's phone call to the clearly agitated TOP. For all he knows, it might make things worse than they already are.
Seungri took a quick glance around them for the first time since he arrived. The waiting room was empty save for the 4 of them.
"Youngbae hyung, please tell me that you didn't attempt to kill Jiyong hyung. Please....I'll believe you if you just say it. Because I know you are not the type to do such a despicable thing," he urged Taeyang, effectively ignoring TOP's question. But the eldest hyung wasn't going to let him get away with it.
"Don't ignore me, maknae. What is it about the phone call you said just now?"
Seungri looked away, refusing to answer TOP.
"Youngbae hyung, please....please say something to defend yourself!" Seungri pleaded with his still-silent hyung. He struggled to get away from TOP's tight grip on his forearm, pushing the elder away as he did so. This provoked TOP and he pulled his hand back to retaliate.
"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!!"
Taeyang's sudden bellow startled the fighting members. Even Daesung, who had been staring listlessly at the blank wall in front of him despite the ongoing drama, looked up in surprise.
Taking a deep breath, Taeyang sought to calm himself down. His tumultuous emotions and wrecked mind are hardly in the condition to make the right judgments, but Taeyang knew, the time had come for him to come clean with his members.
Looking up at the 3 pairs of eyes staring at him, Taeyang gathered every bit of courage he could find within him to speak the words he didn't think he would ever say.
It has finally come down to this, eh Youngbae?, he thought to himself as he pulled himself up from the floor.
"Jiyong being in this state," he started, "it's all because of me."
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There was a stunned silence from the members. Even TOP who had been accusing him right from the start simply stared at Taeyang blankly, as if unable to comprehend what he is hearing. Surprisingly, out of the three members, it was Daesung who was the first one to spoke up.
"What do you mean, Youngbae hyung?"
Taeyang looked at each of them straight in the eye.
"I'm saying, all this is my fault. Jiyong being stabbed, it's because of me."
TOP's reaction was kind of not unexpected as he rushed forward. Since Taeyang already knew what was coming, he managed to avoid his hyung's punch, although TOP's knuckles did graze the skin of his left cheek. Grabbing the other's fist, Taeyang pushed his member back.
"Listen to me first, hyung!" he pleaded.
The tall rapper did not look as if he was going to heed Taeyang's plea initially, but then he stopped. Dropping his forcefully unclenched fists to his sides, TOP looked away, bitter resentment in his eyes.
"Go away, Youngbae. Go before I hit you again."
Taeyang froze, before nodding reluctantly.
"Fine, I will leave if that is what you truly want me to do, hyung. But please, hear me out first."
"We don't want to hear your fuckin excuses, Youngbae," TOP snapped, his hands balled up in a fist again. "You've hurt Jiyong dammit. And he's now in there, fighting for his own life, because you are a cold-hearted fuckin bastard who dared to hurt your own bestfriend for your own selfish agenda. Do you even know how he had been ever since you left? How heartbroken he had been?? You didn't even bother to call, for fuckin goodness sake!!"
Taeyang looked down in shame as TOP faltered at the end of his angry rant, his voice turning hoarse from the emotions choking his words. They had been words of truth, and he knew he couldn't speak up for his own defense.
It's useless...they wouldn't believe me anyway...not even if I explain to them what is happening...
"Seunghyun hyung," Seungri spoke up, his voice soft as he placed a hand on the crying TOP's shoulder. "I know you are angry about what happened to Jiyong hyung, but...let's hear Youngbae hyung out first..."
Taeyang looked up at the maknae, feeling grateful for the look of trust in the younger man's eyes. Gathering the shards of his broken confidence once again, Taeyang turned his serious gaze towards TOP.
"Hyung, the guy you saw stabbing Jiyong wasn't me. That guy is Takazawa Keisuke. He's the brother of Takazawa Hiroto, the guy who got Jiyong into the marijuana scandal."
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Taeyang wasn't used to drinking in the presence of people other than his members, so although it was a party to celebrate the completion of their Love and Hope tour in Japan, he held back on the drinks. GD and TOP on the other hand, were downing the potent shots like mineral water. Seungri, just as drunk, was making out with one of the club hostess in a corner of the room. Even Daesung, who normally would give the alcoholic drinks a pass, is halfway through passing out from his 3rd glass.
Taeyang smiled to himself. Seeing Daesung like this, it must have meant that the guy had been really exhausted from the tour.
Not that Taeyang isn't tired himself. Having had a string of promotions for their comeback as a group after 2 years of rest and solo work prior to the tour, Taeyang wondered if he'll be able to keep this up 5 years down the road. And even though the recently-ended tour was more of a charity concert to help the recent tsunami-struck victims in the major Sendai earthquake, Taeyang had to admit that he is almost running out of fuel.
"Youngbae ah...I...need to pee..." Jiyong slurred as he leaned in towards his bestfriend.
Taeyang smiled. "Do you need help going to the toilet, Jiyong...?"
GD stared at Taeyang, not answering.
"Jiyong?" Taeyang prompted again.
"Youngbae ah....you are such a good best friend, do you know that? I mean, which other guy would want to accompany his friend to the toilet? You are the bestest of the good bestest friend. Thank you for being such a bestest friend, Youngbae ah....You are truly my Taeyang! My Sun! My light! I love you more than ever, Taeyang-ssi...."
Taeyang looked around embarassed when GD suddenly weep from his own emotional speech.
Shit, this guy is really drunk.
"Ji...Jiyong...I think you are too drunk. Here here...stop crying," Taeyang soothed him as he grabbed a nearby napkin. "You need to go to the toilet, remember?" he reminded his friend, hoping it will distract GD from the drunken theatrics.
Sniffling into the napkin, GD nodded before rising from his seat. When he stumbled a little, Taeyang grabbed his leader and steadied him, but GD puts up a hand to indicate he is fine and pushed his member's hands away.
"It's okay, Bae...I'm fine...I'm not that drunk. I can do this...you...you just seat down right here...I'll be right back before you know it."
Taeyang smiled at GD's drunk confidence and let go of his friend. He knew that GD would vehemently object it if he insisted.
I know my stubborn little friend too well...Him and his ego....
Shortly after GD left, Taeyang followed his leader from a distance, his concern over-riding his initial wish to not hurt GD's pride. Even though they are in the VIP section, but the club is still open to the public.There are many Japanese fans who recognised them, and Taeyang is worried that some crazy fangirl will sneak up behind his bestfriend and snap a picture of GD's "dragon".
Taeyang smirked at the thought. Not wishing to ponder on his bestfriend's "dragon", Taeyang stepped in cautiously into the toilet, not wanting to attract his leader's attention. Standing in a hidden corner that still gives him a good view of the entire room, Taeyang saw that the toilet was empty, except for his bestfriend and another guy. When GD approached the urinal next to the other guy's, the young man who is probably in his mid-twenties gave a little bow in acknowledgement.
Taeyang watched as the guy waited for GD to be done. Probably sensing the star's unease at being watched, the other man proceeded to wash his hands at the sink.
He sure is taking his time, Taeyang thought to himself in reference to the guy who is still washing his hands by the time GD came up to the sink as well.
"Ano...." the Japanese guy spoke up as he turned to GD. As if startled by the guy's sudden bow, GD quickly returned the bow.
Typical polite Ji...even in his drunken state, he's doing his 90 degrees bow to a complete stranger.
"G-dragon-san? I am a huge fan of your's....Do you smoke? Can I offer you a smoke?" the guy asked, as he took out a metal tin. Opening it up, Taeyang realised that the guy is offering some cigars.
GD tried to reject his offer, but the guy kept pushing for the Bigbang leader to take a stick. Torn between his decision and his own image, GD reluctantly accepted a stick from the guy. The other man bowed in gratitude and offered to light the cigarette up for GD, who naturally obliged.
"G-dragon-san," the man said as he scribbled something onto a piece of paper he produced from his pocket. "Please let me know if you like it. I can give you many more," he continued as he pushed the piece of paper into GD's hands.
GD murmured his thanks as he took in a deep drag from the lit cigarette.
Taeyang watched a smirk form on the Japanese guy's face as he turned away to leave.
What the hell....?
As he walked past Taeyang, the Japanese man glanced up once at the Bigbang member before staring bleakly ahead. His eyes showed absolutely no signs of recognition.
Strange. If he is such a big fan of Ji, he should at least recognise me too...
Taeyang bit his lower lips and decided to approach his friend.
"Smoking in the toilet, Ji?"
GD looked up from the cigar he was scrutinising."Oh. Bae. Nah, just a fan who passed this to me....tastes funny though..."
Taeyang frowned. "Perhaps you are not used to smoking cigars?"
GD shrugged as he took in another long drag.
"That's true...but technically, cigars are tobacco too, right? But this doesn't really taste like the ciggies I usually smoke..."
He frowned at the cigar. "Damn. The Japanese sure are a weird bunch alrighty."
Moving to the bin in the corner, GD grind out his cigarette butt on the ashtray at the top and disposed it off. Fishing into his pocket, he threw something else along with it.
"I'll move out first, Bae...feeling a little light-headed all of a sudden...damn. I must be real drunk......" GD murmured as he walked past Taeyang, oblivious to the fact that his friend had been pretending to wash his hand for the past couple of minute.
The moment his leader disappeared from sight, Taeyang moved to the bin.
I thought so.
Sure enough, the other item his friend had discarded was the piece of note that the Japanese guy gave him. It contained a name written in Kanji; followed by a string of numbers that, Taeyang assumed, is the phone number belonging to the written name.
Taeyang wasn't exactly sure why he felt urged to pick up the crumpled note and slide it into his pocket, but he did. And as he did so, the soul singer felt a nagging ominous feeling in his heart, although he couldn't really pinpoint the source of it.
Stop it, Youngbae. You are worrying too much.
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When Daesung got into his car accident scandal, the entire group was thrown in an upheaval.The only positive thing about the entire episode was that Bigbang was done with their album promotions, and so they had quite a bit of spare time. Although they still continue to promote as 4, things weren't too hectic. The members will use their individual off days to accompany Daesung who had been locking himself up in his room at the dorm. They knew he is going through a rough time and tried not to show their concern too obviously, but the Bigbang members were pretty worried in case their usually smiling dongsaeng would do something drastic; especially after seeing some of the hateful comments being posted online.
Being the one who had always depended on his dongsaeng to listen to his problems and concerns, Taeyang took it upon himself to bring Daesung back out to the world. Even though Daesung doesn't seem to be responding as quickly as he hoped to, Taeyang would patiently wait for up to 20 mins outside his door to invite him to the dinner table and get him to eat with the rest of the members.
It was approximately half a month later, in the middle of the hot June summer of 2011, when Taeyang received a call from GD.
"Bae....?" his friend had started.
Taeyang smiled. "You at the studio, Ji?"
"Yeah...you at the dorm? How is our dongsaeng? Has he eaten lunch, yet?"
GD's daily call to whoever is looking after Daesung is an act that Taeyang truly extols about his best friend. It was very clear to all the members, including Daesung, about how worried their group leader is for his member. And so, in order not to worry his leader more, Daesung would come out of his room once in awhile. But the young man would not do anything much, choosing to sit only at the sofa in the living room, staring silently at the walls, before retreating back into his room roughly about an half hour later.
Taeyang sighed. "He refused lunch again."
"Ouh," came GD's only reply.
Taeyang frowned at this oddity. Usually his friend would sigh or nag at the member to ensure that Daesung will eat, but his dismal reply today seemed to show an unusually quiet Jiyong.
"Ji...? You okay, bro?" Taeyang asked out of concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine," GD answered straight away.
Taeyang's frown deepened.
"No. You are not fine. I know you too well, Ji. You can't lie to your Bae here."
His leader gave a loud sigh on the other line.
"Sometimes, I'm not sure whether to love or hate the fact that we know each other too well, Bae. I can't seem to be keeping any secrets from you, nor can I pretend not to know that you will bug me till I tell you." GD paused. "You are right, Bae. Something is up. The police are asking me to report."
Police...?
"Ji, did you do something wrong??" Taeyang asked his friend, alarmed to hear that the Bigbang leader is wanted by the police.
"No, I didn't," GD denied. "I know I didn't, but somehow, they want me."
"What for?" Taeyang queried.
"The guy didn't explain much, but I think they are testing me for dope. Aish! I can't believe they are taking those stupid Internet rumors seriously!!"
Taeyang fell silent at his friend's frustrated rant. There had been rumors floating around the net that claimed the Bigbang leader is involved with drugs. Apparently, they mistook some pictures of a very worn-out GD to be evidences that he is actually high when the pictures were taken.
If only they had known that his red-rimmed eyes and sudden weight loss were due to his sleepless nights spent in the studio to work on our next album for them...stupid netizens, Taeyang thought angrily to himself.
"Ji, are you really sure you didn't take any prohibited items, my friend? I know you mix around with quite a weird bunch but you wouldn't do something like that behind my back, right?"
"Aish!! Baeee!!! What the hell are you saying? Sheesh...of all people, I thought you would be the one person who would not question me, you know?"
Taeyang smiled, feeling relieved after hearing the frustration from his friend's voice. "I'm sorry, Ji. I was just joking."
"It's hardly something to joke about, Bae. I'm feeling real nervous here even though I know I didn't do anything wrong..." GD's voice trailed off with an uncertainty in his tone.
Taeyang felt pity for his worried leader.
"Ji, you need someone to accompany you? You want me to go together with you?"
"No. Manager hyung will be going with me, so it's okay. But...I have no idea how long they might detain me, so while I'm gone, I want you to take care after our brothers, okay? Especially Daesung. Make sure he eats."
Typical Ji...always so concerned for our group members even though he is the one in the tough spot right now...
"Don't you worry about us, Ji. Please take care of yourself instead. I'm sure everything will be alright." Taeyang comforted his friend.
"Thanks, bro," GD acknowledged gratefully. "But I want you to promise me something else, Bae. Don't let the others know about this. I don't want them to worry, especially since we're already having a hard time dealing with Daesung's accident."
Once again, Taeyang felt GD's selfless leadership touch his heart.
"You are truly a great leader, Ji," Taeyang voiced out his honest opinion.
"I'm not sure, Bae," GD murmured. "I'm not sure if I'll still be as great a leader as you mentioned after this, my friend...."
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When GD got back home, all worn-out and fatigued the next morning, Taeyang did not ask much. Rather, he waited until the Bigbang leader has had his sleep and started on lunch before he asked his friend for the details of his visit to the police headquarters.
To Taeyang's surprise, GD merely played it off as a matter that is hardly of any concern. He briefly explained how they asked him to undergo a urine and hair test, and then interrogated him for couple of hours. Taeyang waited for more, but that was all that GD offered as an explanation.
Taeyang immediately sensed how the leader had skimmed over his story.
"You are hiding something," he immediately pointed out.
GD sighed. "Is it not possible for me to keep some stuffs over to myself, Bae? Can't I have my own secrets as well?" he asked, sounding more than just a little frustrated.
Taeyang shook his head. "Not for something as serious as this, Ji."
GD pouted, but Taeyang merely raised an eyebrow to indicate that he is not gonna fall for his leader's attempt to aegyo his way out.
The pout disappeared as GD rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness and heaved another sigh.
"Fine. They are suspecting that I smoked weed because apparently, they received some information from the Japanese police, who in turn, received the tip-off from an unknown source. I swear to God, Bae, I have NEVER smoked weed before. I absolutely swear. But the police told me they had to do something about it because the Japanese police force are involved in this and our Korean police chief somehow had to save his face and ass by showing they are doing something about it, although in reality, they are also convinced that this is really a non-existent matter."
Taeyang blinked a few times as he tried to digest the lengthy piece of information that his friend had somehow been able to dish out in a single breath.
He's a rapper, Taeyang had to remind himself.
"But why are the Japanese police involved in this?" he questioned GD further.
The Bigbang leader shrugged his shoulders. "Apparently, the source claim that was where I committed the act? Although that is just bullshit. I mean, if I truly had smoked weed, I should have at least known about it, right?"
Taeyang didn't answer his friend. There was something nagging in his heart, a vague memory that he can't quite recall, but one that he somehow knew is important.
Japan...Ji...smoking...what is it...?
"Bae? You listening to me?" GD asked as he waved a hand in front of Taeyang.
The soul singer lifted his eyes from the table, his train of thought broken by his friend's interruption. Nodding his head, Taeyang decide to ask his friend one last time.
"So you sure you are clean, Ji?"
"Not again, Bae!!" GD whined.
"I know, I know, I knooow...I just want to make sure, that's all," Taeyang placated his frowning leader.
"Yes, I am clean as a newly-washed dish, Bae. So let's stop this conversation right here, coz absolutely nothing is gonna happen, I assure you. Now just let me eat my lunch in peace, please?"
Taeyang nodded in silence as he leaves GD to finish his lunch. He knows exactly when it is a better move to just leave his friend with his adamant beliefs, rather than pursue the topic. But Taeyang can't seem to get rid of the nagging feeling of a memory that he is supposed to recall.
What is it that I should be remembering...?
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Taeyang finally managed to drag Daesung out of his room to the dining table.
"Ah, hyung! I told you I am not hungry...I ate at the church camp just now, don't you know?" Daesung whined, struggling to get out of the headlock his hyung had subjected him to; but Taeyang paid no heed to his dongsaeng's objections.
"Now that you have finally started talking, you are casually objecting your leader's orders? You wanna die, Daesungie?" Taeyang threatened.
Daesung merely pouted in response as he joins his hyungs at the dinner table. The leader and maknae have already started without the rest, Taeyang noted as he sat Daesung down and takes his own seat.
As TOP emerged from the bathroom, GD's phone suddenly started ringing.
"Jiyong ah! Your phone is ringing!" TOP called out to the leader.
"Ah hyung! Can you please pick it up for me? My hands are dirty from all the crab sauce," GD pleaded, displaying his preoccupation with the crab claw in his hands. TOP rolled his eyes and fetched GD's phone from where it was charging.
"Hello?...Yes, this is Kwon Jiyong's phone....Yes, he is around, but he is not available to talk right now....Can I take a message for him?"
There was a long silence, and when TOP spoke again, his voice sounded a little more grave.
"Sorry, may I know who's on the line?"
GD, who had been keeping an eye on his hyung through out the call suddenly stood up, his chair dragged back. It startled the other members; and by the time they looked up to see what was happening, they realised that TOP was glaring at their leader.
"Sure, I'll pass the phone to him right now," he voice sounded clipped as he handed the mobile over to it's owner. "It's Inspector Song on the line."
There was silence from all the other members. While Daesung and Seungri looked confused, Taeyang knew that GD's worried face is reflecting his own.
"Hello? This is Kwon Jiyong speaking."
There was a long pause from GD as he listened to the other person speaking. Suddenly, he fell back into his chair, his face turning deathly pale.
"The..there...there must be some mistake!" he stuttered over the phone. "No! I'm sure there has been some mistake in your...How...how can this be...??"
By now, the members were crowded around him, rising from their seat out of curiosity and concern. Only Taeyang remained in his seat, feeling just as shocked as his best friend, as he already knew what the call was about.
When GD finally put down the phone, TOP immediately grilled him.
"What was that call about, Jiyong?"
GD simply shook his head, unable to speak up, but it only frustrated TOP further. He had, afterall, heard the police inspector mention something about Jiyong's test result.
"This isn't right, Jiyong. You are our leader and you know you shouldn't be keeping any secrets from us," TOP said sternly, using his authority as the eldest in the group to get GD to talk, but the younger guy still couldn't speak up. Taeyang could see that he is still in shock.
"Hyung, please let him calm down for a minute," Taeyang pleaded on GD's behalf, but in return, he simply attracted TOP's narrowed, suspicious gaze onto himself.
"You knew something about this, don't you, Youngbae?"
TOP's spot on guess caught Taeyang off-guard. Unable to evade his hyung's question, Taeyang avoided TOP's strong gaze that seemed to penetrate his very soul.
The action confirmed TOP's suspicions.
"Aish! These two idiotic best friends! Out with it already!!" he bellowed out of frustration.
Taeyang glanced up at their leader. GD seemed to have spaced off despite TOP's angry proddings.
Sighing, Taeyang asked his hyung and the two dongsaengs to go back to their seats first. When they are finally settled in, with TOP grumpily planting his butt onto his own seat, Youngbae took another glance at GD.
Still no signs that he is going to explain himself....
"Guys," Taeyang started, only to be interjected by GD straightaway.
"It's okay, Youngbae. I'll explain it to them myself," the Bigbang leader assured. Taeyang stopped and looked at GD in apprehension. Even though GD's eyes didn't give much of a clue of how he is coping with the news, Taeyang saw a flash of emotions when their eyes met for a moment.
Guilt, remorse, disbelief and anger.
"Seunghyun hyung, Daesungie, maknae...I have a bad news to tell you guys. I was called by the police to go for a dope test 2 months ago, and just now, the call was confirm that even though my urine test was negative, the hair test that I did was positive....for marijuana."
Nobody said a thing. Not even Taeyang who already knew regarding the matter before hand. Hearing the words coming from GD himself felt surreal surreal. Especially since he knew that GD had not expected it himself.
The Bigbang leader who had been staring at his half-eaten crab all this while, finally looked up at his silent members.
"If noone has anything to say, I'll just get ready to go to the station now," GD spoke again, his voice sounding just as empty as his eyes.
"Jiyong hyung...you didn't do it, right...?" Seungri spoke up as his leader turned around to leave.
GD paused.
"I have scientifically-proven evidence working against me, Seungri. Will you still believe me if I say I didn't do it...?"
The maknae fell silent, unable to answer his leader.
GD smirked to himself as he left the room.
"I thought so."
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It has been hours since GD broke news regarding his situation. Seungri had long left the dorm as well, mumbling that he needed to get some fresh air. Daesung had retired to his room once again without a word of excuse. Only TOP and Taeyang were left, still seated at the dining table. Neither spoke a word, each lost in his own thoughts.
"Hyung," Taeyang finally broke the silence. "It's already 3am, you should go home."
TOP shook his head. "I'll stay till Jiyong get back."
Taeyang fell silent before speaking up again.
"Hyung, why aren't you asking me what happened to Jiyong?"
TOP looked at Taeyang, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy from the lack of sleep.
"It seemed to me that even Jiyong doesn't know what is going on himself, so I doubt you'll know. Do you?"
Taeyang shook his head wordlessly.
"I thought so."
TOP's words that echoed Jiyong's as he left the dorm earlier suddenly reminded Taeyang of his own thought when he picked up the note GD had thrown away from the bin during their wrap-up party months ago.
Taeyang's eyes widened as he recalled GD saying how the cigar had tasted funny.
Was that it?? Was that when it happened??!
Taeyang quickly took out his phone. He remembered saving a picture of the note in his phone.
At that moment, loud banging was heard from the front door. The two members looked at each other and went ahead to check what the matter was.
"Hyuuuuunnnnggg!!" Seungri slurred as he stumbled into TOP's arms the moment Taeyang opened the door. TOP scrunched up his nose.
"You shitty brat, getting drunk in times like this," the eldest member told off his maknae. Seungri shook his head.
"I'm not drunk, hyung...I'm sad! Seungri is sad!"
"Drunken idiot," TOP muttered under his breath again as he pulled away, leaving Taeyang and the maknae at the doorway.
"Where is Jiyong hyung?" Seungri asked, swaying slightly at his feet.
"He's not back yet. Come sit down. You look like you can hardly stand up any longer," Taeyang led the maknae to the dinner table where TOP was already seated. Fetching his youngest member a cup of water, Taeyang finds his thoughts going back to the photo of the note he had taken.
He was about to scroll for the picture once again when the security lock at the front door let out a beep to indicate it has been unlocked. The 3 members looked up to see a distraught-looking GD walking in with their manager.
"Jiyong..." Taeyang whispered as he stood up and moved towards his friend, but the maknae had beaten him to it.
"Hyung....Jiyong hyung....!" Seungri weeped as he clung to his leader.
Everyone in the room stared at the scene in surprise. It was uncharacteristic of the maknae to be crying so openly like this. Even GD himself was caught by surprise.
"Seungri ya," their manager spoke up, "let Jiyong hyung have his rest."
When Seungri still didn't let go, Taeyang turned to their manager and assured the guy that he will handle the rest. Their manager nodded, took a worried glance at the crying maknae and left the members on their own.
Initially Taeyang was worried that the maknae was very much affected by the situation, seeing how he simply cried without saying a word. But after 20 mins of non-stop crying, Taeyang got frustrated. He saw GD glance up at the two of them, his guilt-ridden expression clearly saying he doesn't quite know what how to handle the emotional maknae.
"Hyung, don't you think this is too much??" Taeyang asked TOP, who was still standing with his arms folded. The eldest member heaved a sigh of frustration as well and approached the maknae-leader duo. Grabbing the younger guy's forearm, he pulled Seungri away from GD.
"Enough of your crying, you drunken brat," TOP said. Glancing up at GD, he paused.
"You okay?"
The Bigbang leader nodded wordlessly, his eyes pained and burdened with remorse and guilt. TOP wanted to say something else, but then he glanced at the maknae who was still weeping loudly.
"I'll take him back to your apartment."
GD nodded wordlessly once again, unable to meet his hyung's gaze.
When both the eldest and youngest member finally left, Taeyang approached his best friend who seemed to be unable to look at his friend in the eye.
"You okay, bro? You know you can just be yourself now that it's just the 2 of us, right?"
At Taeyang's reminder, GD glanced up, seeing his best friend's supportive eyes looking back at him. As the two friends stare at each other, GD felt the burdening helplessness he had been holding back wash over him.
Taeyang watched as the emotions broke his friend down, piece by piece.
"I swore I didn't do it on purpose, Bae..." GD whispered as he looked away, the pain clearly heard in his voice.
Taeyang raised a hand and squeezed his leader's drooping shoulder to comfort him.
"I know, Ji. I know," the soul singer comforted his leader.
They fell silent for a couple of minutes, each lost in his own thoughts.
"Bae, you know what's crazy?" GD suddenly spoke up. "There's a freakin song inside my head right now, and it's reflecting my thoughts."
Taeyang looked up at his friend, puzzled by the sudden statement.
"What song is that, Ji?"
GD did not reply his friend. Instead he simply gave Taeyang a sad smile as he began to sing.
I wouldn’t be like this if I was a good man
But I am not a bad man, right?
Please don’t say it was a misunderstanding
A wrinkled sentimental heart, my last pride thrown away
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A/N: Thank you for your comments thus far, people. Please keep the comments coming! I really appreciate hearing your thoughts on the story. Happy New Year! :)