Comes from reading too much Bourdieu, I think...
I've been thinking, lately, about cultural capital. And things that parents at my schools just seemed to know, which I kindof assumed were par for the course, and apparently aren't.
I went to schools where silent auctions and raffle prizes were pretty easy things to put together - you made a few phone calls, got moms on board, and then made it happen. Letters got written, walked over to the right businesses, and things showed up at the school ready to sell. Someone knew how to set up sheets, keep track of bid numbers, what kind of liscence and tickets you needed...
As I grew older, I learned a lot of these skills myself... grad auctions, working in non profits, to the point that I can, now, if need be, probably put together a "decent" silent auction in about 3 weeks - with everything from restaurant gift certificates to merchandise, to spa services, and enough items and gift baskets that there's "almost" one per person. By myself. (I know this, because I have done it. It is not, in fact, something I would recommend to anyone. To tell the truth, it's really stressful, and leaves no time for anything else. To whit : The last time I did this, Michael is convinced it gave me bronchitis (though planning a large service project and a convention at the same time while dealing with papers may have had something to do with that).) I kindof thought the only difference between me and anyone else is that I was insane enough to attempt this on my own. Like, I'm pretty sure most of my friends would know how to do it. With enough lead time, we could probably run it off with a dinner and dance at the same time, and know how to price tickets that you make a slim margin on each, and then your silent auction is all profit.
I thought this was normal.
Apparently, it's not so much.
I had a lady in the store tonight asking about donations for a fundraiser for her kids' school. To buy take-home readers. Like, classroom appropriate books which kids are supposed to take home to read. Because the school doesn't have any. They attend a school in Millwoods, which is, by her own admission, "a little low income" (when a parent of a kid who goes there says that.... you know it's true.). She... told me she'd never done this before. They'd started out with the understanding that each class would put a basket together, on a theme that they'd chosen. Then, you can raffle off the baskets at a magic show (I can't fathom who is supposed to be buying these tickets... from the sounds of things, the magic show is designed to appeal to the kids... which doesn't seem like the "So, they have money..." demographic. Even at a low-income school.). But, collection of items isn't going so well, so she's looking to "fill out" the baskets. The Grade 3 class chose a baking theme, and she came to see us.
I was... struck by all of the things I just "knew" that seemed foreign to her. Telling businesses they'll be recognised in the event program and in the school newsletter (she told me this because when she came in my manager was busy, so we chatted for a while, but it wasn't in her request letter - she was just "thinking" about it). She hadn't thought about local stores (they're much more able to give you things). She had made up personalised letters for each basket theme, but not put them on school letterhead (although she's president of the PTA).
I... have done some canvassing in the area before, so I told her what I could (this store is locally owned, try there, the corporate policy here is this, these managers can give donations)... but I've sortof been thinking about it all night. It seems... vaguely tragic that the parents at the schools who, really, don't need that much help (and really only hold this sort of event because they're faster than chocolate sales), have all this knowledge... but at the schools where they need it, the know-how isn't there to make it work effectively.
Seems Bourdieu was right again - there is a distinct cultural capital transmitted by the "privileged" classes (whatever you take that to mean) that just doesn't seem to be available to everyone else. All kinds of things you just "know"... and if you don't know ,it seems that you suffer.
I have a few things in my stash that should work for this... movie passes, spa sets... basics like cellophane and ribbon... I'll just pack them with me and take them into work on Friday, when she's coming in to pick up her donation. (I couldn't 'not' convince my manager to do something for her...)
[Addendum: It is a strange day when you are "finally" able to see your own parents' prejudices... I always thought my mom was pretty good about this sort of thing. The Mormon dentists say "We're taking a collection to buy groceries for three needy families over Christmas" and she turns up not only with cash, but with spa baskets for the moms in these families too. She fundraises for the foodbank, knits chemo caps for Compassion House... and has no idea that an inability to do these things well may be structural, and may require contacts based on a relatively privileged social position.
I was telling her this story, half expecting her to say "Oh... you should call her, I have these things you might give her". And her only comment was "Well, *they* only learn by doing" (emphasis hers). I wonder if it would have been different if I'd told her that the woman I spoke with was white.]
I went to schools where silent auctions and raffle prizes were pretty easy things to put together - you made a few phone calls, got moms on board, and then made it happen. Letters got written, walked over to the right businesses, and things showed up at the school ready to sell. Someone knew how to set up sheets, keep track of bid numbers, what kind of liscence and tickets you needed...
As I grew older, I learned a lot of these skills myself... grad auctions, working in non profits, to the point that I can, now, if need be, probably put together a "decent" silent auction in about 3 weeks - with everything from restaurant gift certificates to merchandise, to spa services, and enough items and gift baskets that there's "almost" one per person. By myself. (I know this, because I have done it. It is not, in fact, something I would recommend to anyone. To tell the truth, it's really stressful, and leaves no time for anything else. To whit : The last time I did this, Michael is convinced it gave me bronchitis (though planning a large service project and a convention at the same time while dealing with papers may have had something to do with that).) I kindof thought the only difference between me and anyone else is that I was insane enough to attempt this on my own. Like, I'm pretty sure most of my friends would know how to do it. With enough lead time, we could probably run it off with a dinner and dance at the same time, and know how to price tickets that you make a slim margin on each, and then your silent auction is all profit.
I thought this was normal.
Apparently, it's not so much.
I had a lady in the store tonight asking about donations for a fundraiser for her kids' school. To buy take-home readers. Like, classroom appropriate books which kids are supposed to take home to read. Because the school doesn't have any. They attend a school in Millwoods, which is, by her own admission, "a little low income" (when a parent of a kid who goes there says that.... you know it's true.). She... told me she'd never done this before. They'd started out with the understanding that each class would put a basket together, on a theme that they'd chosen. Then, you can raffle off the baskets at a magic show (I can't fathom who is supposed to be buying these tickets... from the sounds of things, the magic show is designed to appeal to the kids... which doesn't seem like the "So, they have money..." demographic. Even at a low-income school.). But, collection of items isn't going so well, so she's looking to "fill out" the baskets. The Grade 3 class chose a baking theme, and she came to see us.
I was... struck by all of the things I just "knew" that seemed foreign to her. Telling businesses they'll be recognised in the event program and in the school newsletter (she told me this because when she came in my manager was busy, so we chatted for a while, but it wasn't in her request letter - she was just "thinking" about it). She hadn't thought about local stores (they're much more able to give you things). She had made up personalised letters for each basket theme, but not put them on school letterhead (although she's president of the PTA).
I... have done some canvassing in the area before, so I told her what I could (this store is locally owned, try there, the corporate policy here is this, these managers can give donations)... but I've sortof been thinking about it all night. It seems... vaguely tragic that the parents at the schools who, really, don't need that much help (and really only hold this sort of event because they're faster than chocolate sales), have all this knowledge... but at the schools where they need it, the know-how isn't there to make it work effectively.
Seems Bourdieu was right again - there is a distinct cultural capital transmitted by the "privileged" classes (whatever you take that to mean) that just doesn't seem to be available to everyone else. All kinds of things you just "know"... and if you don't know ,it seems that you suffer.
I have a few things in my stash that should work for this... movie passes, spa sets... basics like cellophane and ribbon... I'll just pack them with me and take them into work on Friday, when she's coming in to pick up her donation. (I couldn't 'not' convince my manager to do something for her...)
[Addendum: It is a strange day when you are "finally" able to see your own parents' prejudices... I always thought my mom was pretty good about this sort of thing. The Mormon dentists say "We're taking a collection to buy groceries for three needy families over Christmas" and she turns up not only with cash, but with spa baskets for the moms in these families too. She fundraises for the foodbank, knits chemo caps for Compassion House... and has no idea that an inability to do these things well may be structural, and may require contacts based on a relatively privileged social position.
I was telling her this story, half expecting her to say "Oh... you should call her, I have these things you might give her". And her only comment was "Well, *they* only learn by doing" (emphasis hers). I wonder if it would have been different if I'd told her that the woman I spoke with was white.]