it's that time.......
i have been in a pretty pissy mood today. i have a few ideas why i'm upset......but also kinda unsure.
it is the glorious time of the month where emotions are on an even higher notch in my life.......it just makes me feel so warm inside....NOT i hate being bitchy and even moodier than i already am. poop on a stick!
i'm so frustrated about this thing with adam. i know i'm doing the right thing by not engaging myself into him.....but it is so hard. to be completly honest i'm crazy about the guy. he's awesome, hilarious, musically talented, good taste of music and just all around a neat guy. to top it all of he happens to be very adorable and it is almost impossible not to be physically attracted to him. God knows i want to be with him more than anyone but i know that i just can't. he's not strong in the Lord and even though i don't mean to judge he has a past... and his morals are totally differnt than mine. i know that it would be wrong and against God's will to get involved with him at this point in time. i made my descion and he knows nothing can never happen between us. but don't let that fool you. i still like him. i still want to flirt and i still want his attention. and the fact that i think there is something going on between him and bekah just kills me. jealousy is eating into my soul. i feel like i could drown in it. yet i know i am doing the right thing by not compromising. it is so hard to live for God. i am so not worthy of him. i'm forever thankful that he is strong in my weakness. so God i pray this :
let me me the best friend i can be to adam. may your love flow out of me into his life and not my foolish hormones. please guard my heart and help me stand strong in what i believe. i really want to be close to him but only in the way you want me to be which is as a good friend. all this in your name, amen
it is the glorious time of the month where emotions are on an even higher notch in my life.......it just makes me feel so warm inside....NOT i hate being bitchy and even moodier than i already am. poop on a stick!
i'm so frustrated about this thing with adam. i know i'm doing the right thing by not engaging myself into him.....but it is so hard. to be completly honest i'm crazy about the guy. he's awesome, hilarious, musically talented, good taste of music and just all around a neat guy. to top it all of he happens to be very adorable and it is almost impossible not to be physically attracted to him. God knows i want to be with him more than anyone but i know that i just can't. he's not strong in the Lord and even though i don't mean to judge he has a past... and his morals are totally differnt than mine. i know that it would be wrong and against God's will to get involved with him at this point in time. i made my descion and he knows nothing can never happen between us. but don't let that fool you. i still like him. i still want to flirt and i still want his attention. and the fact that i think there is something going on between him and bekah just kills me. jealousy is eating into my soul. i feel like i could drown in it. yet i know i am doing the right thing by not compromising. it is so hard to live for God. i am so not worthy of him. i'm forever thankful that he is strong in my weakness. so God i pray this :
let me me the best friend i can be to adam. may your love flow out of me into his life and not my foolish hormones. please guard my heart and help me stand strong in what i believe. i really want to be close to him but only in the way you want me to be which is as a good friend. all this in your name, amen