it's been while
if i have any regular readers left, i do apologize for the lack of updates lately. i suppose i have been so busy living life that i forget to write about it. or, more accurately and honestly, life simply has not been all that exciting, and i don't always want to bore you with the mundane details of day to day life. and yet, i will. right about..........................................................now.
school is going. every day is a new day there, with new issues, conflicts, and moments of successes and failures, and yet, really, every day is much the same. which is not necessarily a bad thing, really. just the same kids, often the same routine, the same adults, etc. but things have changed since the beginning of the year. with derek, things have improved immeasurably. he's happier, typically, which means i'm happier, typically. there are still down days, and definitely moments that drain the life out of me, but overall, he and i are doing much better at working together. we respect one another just a little bit more, he's come to trust me, and i've come to adore him. he can be one of the sweetest kids i have ever encountered in my life.
the other kids are also doing well, and i'm setting into my role, and taking on new responsibilities teaching the whole class whenever i can. i know i'm not supposed to have favorite students, but i totally do, although i hide it well. i still worry about a lot of the kids, and they find me in my dreams when i'm trying desperately to recover from my day with them, but even that is getting less frequent, and less intense.
things at the bank are...well...they just are. i feel incredibly discontent there for several reasons. first, is simply that i've worked there off and on for 6 years now and whenever i'm there, or thinking about going there, i just feel an incredibly overwhelming sense of stagnation. and i hate that. it's not really the job, or the place, or the people, or anything i can really put my finger on, other than the fact that i feel like i've done my time there and i don't want to do anymore. BUT. i'm smart enough to know that i have a good thing going there, and that it would be silly, stupid even, of me to walk away from that. it's easy money, it's flexible hours, it's work that requires little to know actual thought on my part, and that's exactly what i need. also, i still have my weekends free, which means i operate on the exact same schedule as abby, so she and i are able to get together quite often, which is the nicest change that has happened in my life in a long time. the other good thing about the bank is that i've become friends with amy, and kindasorta friends with jessy, so socially i'm growing, if not in any other way there, i suppose.
boy and i are good. we're better then good. i'm ready. he knows i'm ready. i'm not even scared anymore, not really even a little bit i don't think. we went and bought the wii together and he joked that i have now proven my commitment and love to him by my willingness to stand outside of target at 6 in the morning for a game system. he said that he knows now that i'm the one and that he's gonna have to propose soon. and, to be totally truthful, i'm just excited and hopeful and dying for him to do it. and this is the first time that i can honestly say i've felt that way. (oh, and the wii is wicked fun too)
i went to target today and indulged by buying a lot of cards for people. i love cards. really really love them. i can't wait to send them out:)
i'm about out of things to say.
i'm sorry this entry wasn't enlightening, or fascinating, or even humorous or mildly entertaining.
but, it's just my life.
and i'm cool with that.
the end.
school is going. every day is a new day there, with new issues, conflicts, and moments of successes and failures, and yet, really, every day is much the same. which is not necessarily a bad thing, really. just the same kids, often the same routine, the same adults, etc. but things have changed since the beginning of the year. with derek, things have improved immeasurably. he's happier, typically, which means i'm happier, typically. there are still down days, and definitely moments that drain the life out of me, but overall, he and i are doing much better at working together. we respect one another just a little bit more, he's come to trust me, and i've come to adore him. he can be one of the sweetest kids i have ever encountered in my life.
the other kids are also doing well, and i'm setting into my role, and taking on new responsibilities teaching the whole class whenever i can. i know i'm not supposed to have favorite students, but i totally do, although i hide it well. i still worry about a lot of the kids, and they find me in my dreams when i'm trying desperately to recover from my day with them, but even that is getting less frequent, and less intense.
things at the bank are...well...they just are. i feel incredibly discontent there for several reasons. first, is simply that i've worked there off and on for 6 years now and whenever i'm there, or thinking about going there, i just feel an incredibly overwhelming sense of stagnation. and i hate that. it's not really the job, or the place, or the people, or anything i can really put my finger on, other than the fact that i feel like i've done my time there and i don't want to do anymore. BUT. i'm smart enough to know that i have a good thing going there, and that it would be silly, stupid even, of me to walk away from that. it's easy money, it's flexible hours, it's work that requires little to know actual thought on my part, and that's exactly what i need. also, i still have my weekends free, which means i operate on the exact same schedule as abby, so she and i are able to get together quite often, which is the nicest change that has happened in my life in a long time. the other good thing about the bank is that i've become friends with amy, and kindasorta friends with jessy, so socially i'm growing, if not in any other way there, i suppose.
boy and i are good. we're better then good. i'm ready. he knows i'm ready. i'm not even scared anymore, not really even a little bit i don't think. we went and bought the wii together and he joked that i have now proven my commitment and love to him by my willingness to stand outside of target at 6 in the morning for a game system. he said that he knows now that i'm the one and that he's gonna have to propose soon. and, to be totally truthful, i'm just excited and hopeful and dying for him to do it. and this is the first time that i can honestly say i've felt that way. (oh, and the wii is wicked fun too)
i went to target today and indulged by buying a lot of cards for people. i love cards. really really love them. i can't wait to send them out:)
i'm about out of things to say.
i'm sorry this entry wasn't enlightening, or fascinating, or even humorous or mildly entertaining.
but, it's just my life.
and i'm cool with that.
the end.