self absorbed ramblings
I alternate between loving what I have and feeling like there are attitudes and friendships I had in the past that I would like back. Not really alternating, more wishing I could be happy and goal focused like I am now and still feel, I don't know, not so conservative I guess. Not that my beliefs will ever fit under that descriptor, but my wardrobe and behaviour at the moment couldn't be more straight-and-narrow.
I have many things to be thankful for. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned I have a healthy relationship, I'm doing pretty well at uni - a H1 average for first semester made me happy and I like having a career in mind. Life is good but it's not the things that are going well I need to vent so...
The things I'm lacking, or more those things I miss include things like: being healthy - going from gym bunny to slob is not good for body image; old friends and places that made me feel...um...less straight-and-narrow maybe; and money - and the wardrobe that comes with it.
I can fix the health issue and the money will come with time. That old feeling, I don't know if it gels with what I want now. But then would I miss it so much if it wasn't still me?
Maybe I need to let things go a bit, see out the academic year in responsible teacher candidate mode, then take myself out and see if there are familiar faces and feelings. Another maybe... I could get to know the people in my course more.
I have many things to be thankful for. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned I have a healthy relationship, I'm doing pretty well at uni - a H1 average for first semester made me happy and I like having a career in mind. Life is good but it's not the things that are going well I need to vent so...
The things I'm lacking, or more those things I miss include things like: being healthy - going from gym bunny to slob is not good for body image; old friends and places that made me feel...um...less straight-and-narrow maybe; and money - and the wardrobe that comes with it.
I can fix the health issue and the money will come with time. That old feeling, I don't know if it gels with what I want now. But then would I miss it so much if it wasn't still me?
Maybe I need to let things go a bit, see out the academic year in responsible teacher candidate mode, then take myself out and see if there are familiar faces and feelings. Another maybe... I could get to know the people in my course more.