a blah blah blah post about myself and my life
So I haven't written in forever. But I have been thinking a lot about what I stand for and whatnot. So here it is:
I stand for love and hope and self respect and openness
Love
I think that love and hope are so intertwined that I almost mix the two. Love is so important. Life without love is useless. I love with such a passion for my friends and family which is why I hold them to such high standards. I don't think people have the same meaning of friendship as I do; it's so strange. I love my friends to death but I will not let them pull me down if they are going down, instead if they do not accept my help they are kind of sloughed off. I am still fond of my friends and I still love them but I keep away so as to not fall with them.
Speaking of friends, I miss Alex and I have tried calling her but her phone was disconnected.
Hope
I have so much hope. Sometimes it's more than love, it's like I have hope for a happy ending. Hope for a better life for myself and for others. Hope for rekindling past friendships. Hope that I can stand up to my fears and hope that I will not let the people I love down. Hope that people will do the right thing, hope that the world would treat its citizens fairly. I feel sometimes like my heart might burst filled with so much hope.
Self Respect
I had to learn this. It was so hard too. I can now confidently say that I love myself, almost everything about me. There will always be room for improvement but I don't beat myself up over it. I demand respect from myself and from others. It's such a change from who I was and I think it's one of my greatest accomplishments. I give God glory for this one.
Openness
So I hate hiding my feelings and I do it terribly and most people who know anything about me can tell you that. You probably know it if your reading this. Things get so complicated when people aren't open about how they feel. Just say it, not out of spite or malice, not out of pride but out of honesty. Does that make sense? Reveal yourself to the people you care about honestly.
So the only people who actually read this live in Orlando. I wish sometimes that we were still close and you guys moving on with your lives without me was so hard for me. It's something that I am dealing with now because outside of my family I can count my good friends on one finger. And that's my own fault but I love learning about life and I have learned that only having one friend (Ryan) is not going to cut it. I have love and a hope to give it to some other people who live closer to me so that I can create a bond that might last a while and in all honesty I do not expect most friendships to last forever, just the ones with my family and my husband (even then it's questionable).
It's cool Ryan is the one. I seriously cannot even find the words to say how wonderful he is and I am lucky to have found the man of my dreams. He is everything I have ever wanted and I am so lucky.
In other news I plan on moving back up to orlando in about 2 and a half years to get a doctorate at UCF in physical therapy.
I stand for love and hope and self respect and openness
Love
I think that love and hope are so intertwined that I almost mix the two. Love is so important. Life without love is useless. I love with such a passion for my friends and family which is why I hold them to such high standards. I don't think people have the same meaning of friendship as I do; it's so strange. I love my friends to death but I will not let them pull me down if they are going down, instead if they do not accept my help they are kind of sloughed off. I am still fond of my friends and I still love them but I keep away so as to not fall with them.
Speaking of friends, I miss Alex and I have tried calling her but her phone was disconnected.
Hope
I have so much hope. Sometimes it's more than love, it's like I have hope for a happy ending. Hope for a better life for myself and for others. Hope for rekindling past friendships. Hope that I can stand up to my fears and hope that I will not let the people I love down. Hope that people will do the right thing, hope that the world would treat its citizens fairly. I feel sometimes like my heart might burst filled with so much hope.
Self Respect
I had to learn this. It was so hard too. I can now confidently say that I love myself, almost everything about me. There will always be room for improvement but I don't beat myself up over it. I demand respect from myself and from others. It's such a change from who I was and I think it's one of my greatest accomplishments. I give God glory for this one.
Openness
So I hate hiding my feelings and I do it terribly and most people who know anything about me can tell you that. You probably know it if your reading this. Things get so complicated when people aren't open about how they feel. Just say it, not out of spite or malice, not out of pride but out of honesty. Does that make sense? Reveal yourself to the people you care about honestly.
So the only people who actually read this live in Orlando. I wish sometimes that we were still close and you guys moving on with your lives without me was so hard for me. It's something that I am dealing with now because outside of my family I can count my good friends on one finger. And that's my own fault but I love learning about life and I have learned that only having one friend (Ryan) is not going to cut it. I have love and a hope to give it to some other people who live closer to me so that I can create a bond that might last a while and in all honesty I do not expect most friendships to last forever, just the ones with my family and my husband (even then it's questionable).
It's cool Ryan is the one. I seriously cannot even find the words to say how wonderful he is and I am lucky to have found the man of my dreams. He is everything I have ever wanted and I am so lucky.
In other news I plan on moving back up to orlando in about 2 and a half years to get a doctorate at UCF in physical therapy.