If You Give A Fanboy a Cookie (or When Kurt Hummel is Out of His Element)
Media: Fic
Title: If You Give A Fanboy A Cookie (or, When Kurt Hummel Is Out of His Element)
Rating: PG
Spoilers (if any): Episode # You'll need to have seen "New York" to not go 'whhuuutttt' at the last part.
Warnings (if any): none
Word Count: ~3,600
Summary: Blaine wants to do something, supposedly "Harry Potter" related. Kurt doesn't pay all that close attention, 'cause Finn's gross. Kurt worries, Blaine worries, Sam and Blaine bond over fandom and just by being adorable nerds and Tina shows up for a bit. Borderline crack, now that I'm thinking straight. >.<
Author’s Note (if any): Darren Criss= huge Harry Potter fan. Me+that knowledge (and the AVPM soundtrack)= squeeing mass of fangirlishness 'cause Potter makes me gushy and I totally used to write in that fandom and my brain goes all nostalgic when I think about it. *sigh*
So, the LAST movie comes out the 15th and while I know I'M going to see it, I'm kinda assuming that Blaine will go too, 'cause I think he's a closet dork and I want more of Darren's randomness to be infused into the character.
ALSO, I've been writing this nickname fic, but it's slowly becoming irritating, so I kind of abandoned it, but that first line is what I decided to settle on 'cause Blaine is adorbs and would totally call Kurt that. :)
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"Beautiful, do you have plans for the night of July fourteenth?" Blaine asked over the phone a week before the date he mentioned. Kurt stared into space as he tried to remember, his hand resting on the sink in front of him, the other cradling the phone to his ear.
"Not that I can recall at the moment. Why, what's up?" he balanced the phone between his ear and shoulder to wipe the cheese off of Finn's plate of yesterday's nachos. 'That boy is gross,' Kurt thought as Blaine started speaking again. 'How did I ever find him the least bit charming?'
Blaine's voice raised an octave in his stream of babble and Kurt paid more attention to his boyfriend's words.
"-and I know it's kind of short notice, but I go every year and this is the LAST one EVER and the book was so good and so was the first part and I want you there with me for some embarrassing reason even if it makes me look like a giant nerd. So..?" the questioning tone that ended the mini-rant came with more of an on edge anticipation that Kurt rarely heard from Blaine, so he placated the man quickly, agreeing to go and do whatever he was being invited to.
He said his goodbyes and finished the disgusting pile of dishes that Finn had plopped into the sink. When Kurt pulled the drain on the dishwater, it finally hit him: he just agreed to something without knowing what it was.
The earnest, unguarded tone in his boyfriend's voice was enough that he didn't think he could have said 'no'. Kurt trusted Blaine, and knew that he wouldn't be led into something uncomfortable. Blaine was such a gentleman, almost to a fault, and Kurt knew that well enough to just go with the flow most of the time.
On his way to the bathroom, though, he stopped on the stairs to the bathroom and sat on the step.
Still, it didn't hurt to Google. Or, his own brand of Google.
'Blaine had said something about being a nerd, hadn't he?' Kurt thought, grinning. Blaine geeking-out was a special kind of adorable that when he saw it, and Kurt reveled in it whenever possible.
First, though, he had to figure out what he had gotten himself into.
Opening his phone, he dialed the familiar number and waited for his friend to answer. A sleepy voice was what he was greeted with and a quick check of the wall clock in the sitting room proved his call to be bordering on 'why the fuck are you calling me, asshole?' late. Especially considering the occupants of the room he was phoning.
"Shit, I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't realize how late it was until you answered," the other boy chuckled, sleep still thick in his voice.
"It's fine. Everything okay with you, man?" Sam asked, and Kurt felt a surge of happiness that someone like Sam, no matter how close they had become, would worry about him.
"Everything's fine, Sammy, thank you. I just had a question that required your brand of expertise," where Kurt had started calling his friend that, he still had no idea. Those two episodes of 'Supernatural' every morning for a week when he couldn't find the remote anywhere in the house probably didn't help. Sam didn't ever seem to mind.
"Yeah, hey, hold on a sec," there was a shuffling and Kurt knew that Sam was trying to prevent anyone else from waking up with their conversation. Kurt leaned his head against the wall until he heard a soft thud of a heavy door closing, and Sam's voice again.
"So, I'm guessing you need some kind of Geek-related dish?"
"Yes, actually."
"You know the extent of my knowledge is lacking at one a.m., man." Kurt winced again, but promised Sam he'd make it quick.
"What happens on the night of the fourteenth?" he asked, and he was met with silence so long that it warranted a check on his cell, making sure the call was still connected.
"Sam?" Kurt tried, hesitant.
"You don't know what happens July fifteenth, at midnight?" disbelief was evident, but it didn't help Kurt get to an answer.
He replied, snippy, "No, Sam, I don't. Care to enlighten me, please?"
"Harry Freaking Potter is what is going on. The Final Chapter, the last installment to the franchise that grew up in our hearts for all our childhoods." Kurt heard the capitals in Sam's words and groaned. Harry Potter. Shit.
Running a hand through his hair, he breathed a thanks into the phone, not letting his friend dig into his lack of nerdy-knowledge and ending the call.
A Harry Potter movie-no, midnight showing- with his boyfriend. While he enjoyed the prospect of spending as much time with Blaine as possible, and even more if the lights were down...it was Harry Potter. His eyes widened; Kurt Hummel was dating a Potterhead.
He walked up to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, washed his face and shuffled down the hall to his room. The light shined from under Finn's door, so he knocked and popped his head in. Finn sat in the old, once-blue-now-gray beanbag chair with his headphones wrapped around his ears, pressing the control in his hands skillfully. When Kurt opened the door, his eyes barely left the screen and he held up a finger briefly before impaling the creature his character fought on a pike.
'Precious,' thought Kurt, leaning back against the door frame.
A button was pressed and the scene froze. Finn pulled off his headphones and turned to his brother.
"What's up?"
"Do you know when the 'Potter' premiere is?" he asked curiously. While Kurt had an obvious affection for Finn, (platonic at this point; Kurt did the house's laundry and...just...god no) if his brother knew about the big 'Final Chapter' Kurt would feel like a grade ‘A’ dumb ass.
Finn grinned broadly, "Of course! All the Glee guys are going, and Mike's even bringing Tina since she's a major fan, too. You were there when we talked about it, weren't you? The Lima Bean about a month ago?" Finn stood and stretched his arms above his head, yawning.
Kurt didn't remember the conversation, but that might have been because while Finn, Blaine and the rest of the boys get together for coffee, Kurt spaces out. The conversations are mostly about football and the occasional hockey talk from Finn and Kurt's more than happy to tag along, have his mocha, tangle his fingers with Blaine's under the table and flip through his latest 'Vogue.'
The interest in sports stopped right after Blaine tried to teach him how football worked. Mental images of his boyfriend playing football were the only thing that got him through that particular game, but Kurt never tried hard after that to insert himself into the sweaty, muddy world of competitive sports after that.
"Finn, you know I only go to those little get-togethers because Blaine goes. I barely pay any attention once Noah starts talking." Finn rolled his eyes, but the smile belayed any irritation, he really did love his friends.
"We talked about it when Blaine went to get that crunchy Italian cookie thing from the counter, he didn't even know we were planning it. Why'd'ya ask?" he crossed his arms across his chest.
"It's called 'biscotti', Finn. Really?" Kurt huffed, eyebrow arched, but continued anyway. "Blaine asked me to go with him, and was really excited about it." he pushed his hands into his pockets and looked just pitiful enough that Finn furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why's that a bad thing? Your boyfriend wants to take you to something. You've got a date. I'm..." Finn's eyes widened and he tried to gesture his next words out with his hands, almost forcing them out of his mouth.
"Is there some kind of rule that gay guys don't go to "Harry Potter" movies or something?"
Kurt's mouth dropped a little at Finn's words, but he recovered quickly, quipping "No, especially when we are so well represented. That Draco Malloy character, or whatever? With hair like his, there is no way he's straight." Without stopping to see the shocked look spread over Finn's face, Kurt spun around and headed to his own room.
-----
Sam texted him the ninth, asking if he could come along with Blaine and Kurt. They had spoken the days after the call and discussed Kurt's lack of ‘Potter’ knowledge, as well as his apprehension in going because of that.
Kurt was sitting next to Blaine when Sam asked, and the darker haired man didn't mind an extra person, so Kurt replied "Yeah, you can come with. As long as you help me stay awake."
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The movies were the one place that Kurt felt like he didn't need to plan an extravagant outfit. It was, technically, a night out with Blaine, but he'd be sitting in the dark with a group of people he barely knew. Besides that, the movie was for Blaine, not him. He didn't mind not standing out for the once.
Sam had said "wear something red, and if you have a tie, totally rock it."
So, on the fourteenth, a few hours before the movie was due to start, Kurt stood in front of his mirror in his maroon button-down, black vest with gold piping and gold pocket-watch, his black skinny jeans and his favorite pair of Classic Converse.
All of his ties terribly clashed with the rest of his outfit, so he was forced to forgo it.
He looked good, comfortable and ready to sit next to Blaine and try to pay attention to anything that happened on the screen.
------
Blaine showed up at Kurt's earlier than he was expected, about 8 'o'clock, and Kurt answered the door with a carefully planned quip on his lips for what he thought would be Rachel.
"Finn wants to spend his time with men, Rach..-Blaine, oh, hi. What're you doing here so early?" He leaned back to let his boyfriend in and simultaneously assessed The Outfit.
White shirt, pressed at the collar, simple gray cardigan over it (Ohio weather seemed doomed to be drizzly and on the wrong side of windy, so it wasn't as hot as was usual for July). Tucked under the cardigan sat a familiar-looking tie, secured with a half-Windsor knot. The deep red and gold stripes stood shiny against the cotton and wool. Kurt only remembered the fabric from Blaine's bedroom, where it hung carefully on the boy's tie rack. Black pants and sneakers much like Kurt's own finished the look. Kurt couldn’t help but noticed the way the pants clung to Blaine's hips and flowed tastefully down his toned legs. When be finally looked into brown eyes again, they were slightly frantic.
"I'm not early, Beautiful." He offered a small, tight smile and continued, "I'm actually a little late, if we're going to go get Sam." Blaine was anxious, and Kurt could almost see his boyfriend bounce on the balls of his feet.
"Late? Baby, it's only eight." Kurt's eyebrows knitted together as Blaine started to grab Kurt's bag off the hook and gently motioned for him to go outside.
"Yeah, and the movies start at nine. We have to go pick up Sam, and then I want to get there early," the stress between Blaine's distinctive eyebrows had Kurt hurrying into the car after leaving his dad a short note by the door.
---------
The drive to Sam's was quick, due mostly to the fact that Blaine insisted on being twenty minutes early. Kurt walked to the door, knocked and waited patiently until Sam emerged.
He wore jeans slung low on his hips, sneakers and mostly the same top as Blaine: white shirt, sweater and tie.
Only the tie wasn't the gold and red materials of his boyfriend's. It sat against the white collar a bright yellow and black. Sam smiled when he opened the door, and waved 'goodbye' to his siblings.
"Hufflepuff, Sam, really?" Blaine chuckled as he shifted the car to reverse and pulled back into the lot.
"Hey, Mr. Bravery, I'll have you know Hufflepuffs are particularly excellent finders!" Sam countered with a smile, and both men dissolved into loud laughter.
Kurt couldn't help but stare, slightly open-mouthed, at the pair of them.
While the collective nerd-quotient multiplied by a factor of a million when Sam entered the car, Kurt didn't know Blaine had it in him.
Kurt closed his mouth and fiddled with the bottom of his vest for the rest of the ride to the theatre.
----------
Until they arrived, Kurt hadn't though of the fact that he had left the house for a movie at nine when the event didn't start until midnight.
"I know that look, Beautiful. What're you thinking?" Blaine asked as he wrapped his fingers in Kurt's, bumping their shoulders together. Sam leaned around Blaine to stare at Kurt, also, an amused smile on his lips.
"Why're we here so damn early?" Kurt said quickly, and regretted them the second they were uttered. The words were harsher than he meant them to come out, and Kurt had no idea why.
Blaine eyebrows shot up. "I told you we were going to a double feature, Kurt. If you want, we can miss the first showing, or something..." Blaine back-tracked, trying to save the night as quickly as possible. The sheer embarrassment in his boyfriend's features made the breath catch in Kurt's throat. This was Kurt's fault, Blaine didn't need to blame himself if Kurt didn’t catch every detail. It wasn’t Blaine’s fault that mulling over ‘Vogue’ was more interesting than ‘Harry Potter.’
Kurt stopped them, pulled Blaine's hand to shift him out of the way of oncoming traffic, and cupped his hand around the slight stubble of Blaine's cheek.
"You, no. Stop being embarrassed. We're going in there, I just didn't know why it started this early. It's what I get for spacing out when we talk. It's not a big deal, baby. Not at all." He explained briefly why he had not caught the ‘double feature’ part of their conversation, and Kurt watched as Blaine's eyes softened and his mouth turned up into a smile. Blaine laughed a little at Kurt's 'spacing out' and the shudder that passed through his boyfriend at the meer mention of Finn’s dishes.
Kurt kissed him until Sam, who had been witness to the entire thing, made a gagging noise and tapped his watch.
"Boys." he said simply. Kurt swiped a curl behind Blaine's ear and pulled him again, towards the door.
"Right over there," Blaine said, pointing to the Fandango kiosk and retrieving their tickets. Sam quickly passed Blaine some cash and as they traded looks, Kurt coughed loud enough for Blaine to nod and pass the money back.
"Don't worry about it, Sammy" Blaine teased. Sam grinned and shoved his shoulder.
"Thanks, Pippin." Sam quipped back, and Blaine smiled wide. Kurt was once again in unfamiliar territory. Nerd-dom was an unlikely place for Kurt to end up in, even considering the two males he spends the bulk of his time with.
Sam and Blaine had been the closest when the Warbler started coming to New Directions events, and, at first, Kurt thought it was because they had been introduced properly (and without alcohol involved) outside of school, when Sam delivered pizzas to Dalton.
When Kurt looked at the pair of them, though, he finally saw that they shared a unique quality: cleverly hidden fanboyishness. Maybe that's why Kurt had found them both attractive? He doubted it, but he couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before.
Sam's was a lot more obvious to Kurt, mostly because he'd known Sam longer, had spent time with him and been exposed to everything from the Marvel comics to the largest collection of cult movies Kurt had ever seen.
Blaine's, though, was hidden behind the hair gel, the ridiculous blazer and his uncanny ability to do anything and everything looking dapper and exceptionally adorable.
Then again, Kurt might be bias.
He mouthed, 'Pippin' at Sam, trying to get an explanation. Sam rolled his eyes at his friend and cuffed Blaine's shoulder and mumbled something Kurt couldn't make out. Instead of dealing with boys, he turned toward the main part of the theatre.
In the confusion of the entry, Kurt had failed to notice the hordes of girls and boys packing the lines to the left of the kiosk. Most were dressed similarly to Blaine and Sam, with some changes to tie color. Others, thankfully, weren't dressed up, and Kurt was more than happy to see that he wasn't the only one. In the sea of people, ages from what looked to be five to an older couple in their fifties, Kurt managed to catch a glimpse of Mike and Tina, sporting the same gray shirt.
Kurt waved at Tina when she caught his eye, she muttered to Mike, cut under the rope separating the ticket lines, and hurried toward Kurt.
"Hey, there!" she said brightly, hugging Kurt tight to her chest. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and set his chin on the top of her head briefly.
"Finn mentioned you and the boys were coming to this," he mumbled into her hair. She shook her head and gestured to her shirt. A crest was ironed on to the gray fabric and it displayed both colors of Sam and Blaine's ties, as well as two different corners.
"Finn also mentioned that you are less-than-knowledgeable about ‘Potter’," she seemed about to giggle, so Kurt poked her side.
"Blaine invited me, and Sam's here to keep me awake. I'm a seasoned professional, Tina. I can play 'entertained' for a few hours." She rolled her eyes at him, but didn't bother saying anything.
She waved at Blaine and Sam as they walked over, the shorter man slapping the tickets against his palm, grinning.
"Hey, Tina!" Blaine greeted excitedly, "You're here for the movies?" She nodded and his grin became impossibly wider. He threaded his fingers through Kurt's and pull their hands up to kiss his pale knuckles.
"I knew there was a reason we hung out with these people." Blaine winked at Tina, who blushed lightly and excused herself to wait with Mike.
"Finn's supposed to be here for the midnight showing, I think. He told me the guys planned something at that coffee date last month." Kurt mentioned, offhand, as they three men wandered toward the lady who tore the tickets.
Blaine's grip tightened around Kurt's fingers for a moment and the pressure ceased quickly, but Kurt still looked at his boyfriend, noting the last traces of what look like disappointment in his features.
A nice blonde woman tore their tickets, smiled and said "Eleven, to your left."
"Blaine?" Kurt asked, waiting in line for a much-needed Diet Coke. His eyebrows had evened out, but Blaine's lips were pressed to a thin line.
"I can't believe Finn didn't invite you to his little," words escaped the Warbler, and he gestured his fingers wildly in the direction of the mass of people; toward where he assumed Finn to be, until English became available to his brain again.
"I thought you two were really going well, yanno? I like Finn." Blaine continued, more to himself then to Kurt. Sam kept giving Kurt weird looks, like he was supposed to understand what his boyfriend was muttering about.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked again, unable to really say anything else.
"I'm sorry, Beautiful," the shorter man said, a small, consoling, smile on his lips.
"What?" he replied, paying the bored-looking boy at the counter for their drinks and Sam's popcorn.
"Finn's obviously being a complete...well, for lack of a better term, ‘dick’ to you about this whole thing. He planned something with the rest of the guys and didn't invite you," his thumb ran over Kurt's knuckles, a gesture of comfort the Kurt really didn't need.
"Blaine, baby...you've got it wrong." He started, leaning against the door next to their theatre. He gave Sam a look, and the blond nodded.
"I'll go find us some seats," Sam said softly and retreated into the theatre.
"What'd I miss?" Blaine asked and Kurt shook his head to organize his thoughts.
"Finn invited us all to this little shindig. You and I included. You were just off getting biscotti and I was too busy reading about Marc Jacobs' Fall collection to pay any attention to what Puckerman and Finn had to grunt at each other." Kurt repeated Blaine's earlier gesture of comfort, and waited for the calm to spread through the lines on his gorgeous boyfriend's face.
"So...I don't have to be mean to Finn, now?" Blaine asked.
"No, baby, there is no need to defend my honor. Thank you for the incrediably gentlemanly gesture, though." Kurt shook his head, smiling brightly at Blaine’s adorable look of exasperation.
"Guys?" Sam poked his head out the theatre door, wearing ridiculous looking glasses on his nose.
"Movie?"
"Coming along, Sammy." Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek, and whispered a quick 'I love you' against the stubble.
"Love you" Blaine mouthed back.
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This STARTED three days ago as an adorable "I need fangirl!Blaine over the new Harry Potter movie" and, for some odd ass reason became this. Gosh, my brain.
Con-crit is enjoyable and it's the only way I can get better. So, please, you're more than welcome.
Oh, people of livejournal, I actually need a beta. If you'd be interested, please comment down there *point*. :)
LOVE YOU ALL.