Well then, I guess I won't be wasting my money on the dry shampoo idea. Everyone raves about that stuff, but I was really wondering how well it could work. Like, okay, maybe it'll take SOME of the grease off your hair, but there's no way it comes totally clean. Still, I would love to go a little longer between washes.
Having that damn thing inserted was like going through labor all over again! And the doctor looks at me and goes "Wow, you have a very long, thin vagina. There's NO WAY you could have given birth with your pelvic floor!" Gee, thanks lady. Good to know this AFTER the emergency c-section and all. But it hurt. A LOT. And they have to put a clamp on your cervix. CLAMP ON YOUR CERVIX. But, I don't have to worry about it for five years. So, bonus. The strings are also too short, given my incredibly long/thin vagina, so they cut them as short as possible and told me not to worry about it. They don't move after the first month, and if they do, you'll notice the giant hunk of plastic coming out of your vagina. HAH. My biggest fear is having it attach to my uterus. The doctor said that rarely happens and the only time it would is if it was inserted incorrectly. But still, plastic IN your girlparts is slightly unsettling.
I hate everything about birth control. I gained 30 pounds on the Depo and I'm finally starting to lose it now. But still, I go to the gym 6 hours a week and eat nothing and I've only lost 7 pounds in over a month. If I were off birth control, I would have lost two or three times what I'm losing now. It makes me not even want to go to the gym. I work my ass off and NOTHING happens.
It didn't take ANY of the grease out! I came down and told my mom I had tried it and she goes, "Oh...I...didn't notice." BECAUSE YOU CAN'T. But I also have greasy guinea hair and not being Italian, you might not have that problem. I don't wash it EVERY day and day two, I start looking greasy. Now its been like a week and I look DISGUSTING.
I am also too short to reach the sink sitting and I seriously don't think we have enough books to prop me up. I'd have to be bent over which would hurt my bones and even then, I could possibly get shit in my stupid arm that way. And now they have to start drawing blood from the OTHER arm once a week when the nurse comes to check and see how I'm doing on the medicine which hurts like a BITCH. Even my body is rebelling now and going ENOUGH IS ENOUGH so after all that, that vein blew too and they weren't able to get enough blood. I can feel the tube INSIDE my arm now too so if this doesn't work I seriously am thinking fuck it. I'll just walk with a goddamn cane and be a goddamn person who has to use a cane. At least then I'll have SOME working limbs. Its awful and despite sleeping all day and eating 1-2 meals a day, I've somehow gained 5 fucking pounds in a WEEK too.
AHAHAHAHA! "You have a very long thin vagina," has got to be one of the weirdest things a dr. has told you. What are you supposed to say to that! "Thank you?" "Well, I've never gotten any complaints before?" !!!1!!!! You had me at "clamp on your cervix". Seriously. That sounds fucking BRUTAL. And I'm a weenie. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE COURT CASE WITH AN IUD!? Omg, you will fucking cringe if you haven't. Some crazy 'pro-life' bitch took a job as a nurse practicioner. Ok, everybody needs a job. But women would come in to see they OB/GYN to get their IUDs checked or get a regular exam AND THIS CRAZY PRO-LIFE BITCH YANKED THEM OUT. YANKED.THEM.OUT. Not using the clamps and whatever else shit they use to normally take them out and not even TELL them since these women still wanted that shit in. She did this to like 3 different women. And her excuse each time was, "Whoops. They accidentally came out." You've had it inserted, I haven't but really, does it SEEM like the kind of thing that if they have to go through this whole procedure to put it it 'just comes out'?! Not to mention SHE WAS JUST A NURSE PRACTIONER. SHE HAD NO TRAINING TO REMOVE OR BE FUCKING WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE! THEN after doing all that, she'd refuse to put them back in and preach to these poor women about how all methods of birth control is abortion. Like if you have those views, fine. But keep them to your damn self and don't fucking get me when I'm vulnerable or in for just a goddamn pap smear or something lady. Don't fucking ambush me when I'm in for HEALTHCARE about something that's none of your fucking business.
I used to go to yoga 3 times a week on the goddamn nuvaring. And I eat pretty healthy to begin with. I try to cook more, I try to not eat much processed food, I don't even eat any dairy! And then I got a job and was out walking and moving and doing shit and I STILL kept gaining. Now I can't exercise obvs but I'm eating LESS meals a day, drinking almost entirely water alone and STILL gaining! Birth control is kind of the tool of the devil. But I never was like this with the pills before, certainly not to the point where I gained 30 fucking pounds that refuse to leave even FOUR MONTHS after I got off this bullshit. Some 'studies' have come out swearing birth control doesn't make you gain weight. Yeah. You can kiss my ever growing ass on that one, pal.
I really can't imagine going for too long without a shower. Mainly for hair reasons. Maybe just have your mom wash your hair in the sink? I mean, then there's no naked so it's not quite as creepy?
So, is it completely/definitely over after a month? Or would they keep you on it longer if they don't like your blood tests? This whole process seems awful, but it's kind of too late to give up now. The weight gain thing seems ridiculous, but since you're being loaded with drugs, it's probably all water and once they take you off IV it'll just go away. I blew up like a balloon from all the fluids and stuff in the hospital, but that went away within a few days. Of course, I gained it all back when I went on fucking Depo, but whatever. You either have a shit ton of babies you don't want or you're fat. It's a lose-lose situation. We're gonna have one more kid, wait a couple years to see if we're done with babies, and then Greg is getting snipped. I've been responsible for the birth control this whole time (and obviously, I fucked that up) so now it's his turn.
Seriously, I didn't know if I should be flattered by the vagina comments or not. She had to leave the room to find a speculum that would work in my crazy ladyparts. And, yeah, cervix clamping. There were three times during the insertion that it hurt like hell. I mean, they're putting a hunk of plastic through a closed hole in your body. It's like extreme piercing. Gross. But again, effective. And free.
The removal is REALLY that easy. I guess your uterus is cool with things coming out, but not so cool with things going in. I can't believe some crazy bitch would do that though!
Having that damn thing inserted was like going through labor all over again! And the doctor looks at me and goes "Wow, you have a very long, thin vagina. There's NO WAY you could have given birth with your pelvic floor!" Gee, thanks lady. Good to know this AFTER the emergency c-section and all. But it hurt. A LOT. And they have to put a clamp on your cervix. CLAMP ON YOUR CERVIX. But, I don't have to worry about it for five years. So, bonus. The strings are also too short, given my incredibly long/thin vagina, so they cut them as short as possible and told me not to worry about it. They don't move after the first month, and if they do, you'll notice the giant hunk of plastic coming out of your vagina. HAH. My biggest fear is having it attach to my uterus. The doctor said that rarely happens and the only time it would is if it was inserted incorrectly. But still, plastic IN your girlparts is slightly unsettling.
I hate everything about birth control. I gained 30 pounds on the Depo and I'm finally starting to lose it now. But still, I go to the gym 6 hours a week and eat nothing and I've only lost 7 pounds in over a month. If I were off birth control, I would have lost two or three times what I'm losing now. It makes me not even want to go to the gym. I work my ass off and NOTHING happens.
Reply
But I also have greasy guinea hair and not being Italian, you might not have that problem. I don't wash it EVERY day and day two, I start looking greasy. Now its been like a week and I look DISGUSTING.
I am also too short to reach the sink sitting and I seriously don't think we have enough books to prop me up. I'd have to be bent over which would hurt my bones and even then, I could possibly get shit in my stupid arm that way.
And now they have to start drawing blood from the OTHER arm once a week when the nurse comes to check and see how I'm doing on the medicine which hurts like a BITCH. Even my body is rebelling now and going ENOUGH IS ENOUGH so after all that, that vein blew too and they weren't able to get enough blood. I can feel the tube INSIDE my arm now too so if this doesn't work I seriously am thinking fuck it. I'll just walk with a goddamn cane and be a goddamn person who has to use a cane. At least then I'll have SOME working limbs. Its awful and despite sleeping all day and eating 1-2 meals a day, I've somehow gained 5 fucking pounds in a WEEK too.
AHAHAHAHA! "You have a very long thin vagina," has got to be one of the weirdest things a dr. has told you. What are you supposed to say to that! "Thank you?" "Well, I've never gotten any complaints before?"
!!!1!!!! You had me at "clamp on your cervix". Seriously. That sounds fucking BRUTAL. And I'm a weenie.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE COURT CASE WITH AN IUD!? Omg, you will fucking cringe if you haven't. Some crazy 'pro-life' bitch took a job as a nurse practicioner. Ok, everybody needs a job. But women would come in to see they OB/GYN to get their IUDs checked or get a regular exam AND THIS CRAZY PRO-LIFE BITCH YANKED THEM OUT. YANKED.THEM.OUT. Not using the clamps and whatever else shit they use to normally take them out and not even TELL them since these women still wanted that shit in. She did this to like 3 different women. And her excuse each time was, "Whoops. They accidentally came out." You've had it inserted, I haven't but really, does it SEEM like the kind of thing that if they have to go through this whole procedure to put it it 'just comes out'?! Not to mention SHE WAS JUST A NURSE PRACTIONER. SHE HAD NO TRAINING TO REMOVE OR BE FUCKING WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE! THEN after doing all that, she'd refuse to put them back in and preach to these poor women about how all methods of birth control is abortion. Like if you have those views, fine. But keep them to your damn self and don't fucking get me when I'm vulnerable or in for just a goddamn pap smear or something lady. Don't fucking ambush me when I'm in for HEALTHCARE about something that's none of your fucking business.
I used to go to yoga 3 times a week on the goddamn nuvaring. And I eat pretty healthy to begin with. I try to cook more, I try to not eat much processed food, I don't even eat any dairy! And then I got a job and was out walking and moving and doing shit and I STILL kept gaining. Now I can't exercise obvs but I'm eating LESS meals a day, drinking almost entirely water alone and STILL gaining! Birth control is kind of the tool of the devil. But I never was like this with the pills before, certainly not to the point where I gained 30 fucking pounds that refuse to leave even FOUR MONTHS after I got off this bullshit.
Some 'studies' have come out swearing birth control doesn't make you gain weight. Yeah. You can kiss my ever growing ass on that one, pal.
Reply
So, is it completely/definitely over after a month? Or would they keep you on it longer if they don't like your blood tests? This whole process seems awful, but it's kind of too late to give up now. The weight gain thing seems ridiculous, but since you're being loaded with drugs, it's probably all water and once they take you off IV it'll just go away. I blew up like a balloon from all the fluids and stuff in the hospital, but that went away within a few days. Of course, I gained it all back when I went on fucking Depo, but whatever. You either have a shit ton of babies you don't want or you're fat. It's a lose-lose situation. We're gonna have one more kid, wait a couple years to see if we're done with babies, and then Greg is getting snipped. I've been responsible for the birth control this whole time (and obviously, I fucked that up) so now it's his turn.
Seriously, I didn't know if I should be flattered by the vagina comments or not. She had to leave the room to find a speculum that would work in my crazy ladyparts. And, yeah, cervix clamping. There were three times during the insertion that it hurt like hell. I mean, they're putting a hunk of plastic through a closed hole in your body. It's like extreme piercing. Gross. But again, effective. And free.
The removal is REALLY that easy. I guess your uterus is cool with things coming out, but not so cool with things going in. I can't believe some crazy bitch would do that though!
Reply
Leave a comment