(no subject)
I'd really appreciate it if I could finally figure out how to identify my emotions when they're actually happening to me. This whole long winded and unhealthy thing I do is really getting old. I feel blank and devoid of emotions for weeks at a time and disregard that little constant feeling in the back of my mind that things are not right and I am not happy. And then after a few weeks of this, like clockwork, I have a complete outburst. I find myself driving aimlessly trying to counsel myself while singing along to whatever ridiculously overwrought and emotional music I have with me. Then the tears start coming and I'm a mess and why oh why can't I just handle these things better? Most people would call someone when they're starting to feel like this. Most people would ask others for advice or something. I don't. I never do. Because part of me really likes this. Really likes how dramatic it all is. Really likes how the things I tell myself during the moments are harshly true, and it's the only time I'm ever not feeding myself lies and excuses.
And then I come home and write about it on livejournal. I'm such a cliche.
In other news, I'm actually reading femslash for once. femslash08 Alot of them are kind of hit-or-miss or fandoms I don't read, but the Pushing Daisies/Dead Like Me crossover was really good.
ummmmm i'm sleepy.
*M*
And then I come home and write about it on livejournal. I'm such a cliche.
In other news, I'm actually reading femslash for once. femslash08 Alot of them are kind of hit-or-miss or fandoms I don't read, but the Pushing Daisies/Dead Like Me crossover was really good.
ummmmm i'm sleepy.
*M*