Silly jokes for the ladies
>One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blonde's are dumb...
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>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today"- Jack says as he steps out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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>He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa and fart.
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> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a goo d fairy ca m! e to them
and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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>Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
him to death.
AMEN
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> Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough
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> Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blonde's are dumb...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today"- Jack says as he steps out of
the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa and fart.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a goo d fairy ca m! e to them
and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
him to death.
AMEN
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------