Insomnia
Insomnia sucks ass. I don't know why it happens to me but when it does I hate it. I developed this problem after my hysterectomy and it got really bad when we first moved here to St Louis. At least once a week I was praying to fall asleep. Once we got moved into our house I got better but from time to time it happens to me and I hate it. Last night I felt fine. It was a busy evening with finishing up Valentine cards for Jace's class, finishing cards for Hayden's class, finishing Hayden's box he had to decorate to put the cards in and then Brock had a science project that we worked on most of the evening. Once all that was done (because we all waited till the last minute of course), we sat down and watched Survivor. I wasn't stressed about anything other than normal and didn't have a bad day. So I went to bed and then the anxiety out of nowhere started. My heart started beating like crazy, my mind was racing and I laid there. I think I dozed off a little but not enough to stay asleep. About an hour later Ben came to bed and I was wide awake. He gave me a massage, rubbed my head, tried to relax me. Didn't work. He relaxed and fell asleep though. I was still awake. I went downstairs and tried to sleep on the couch (Ben snores) but that didn't work. Finally at 2 a.m I downed 2 beers and wanted to cry. I couldn't find any Nyquil, I couldn't get my mind asleep. I am trying to loose weight so I didn't want to drink but it has worked in the past so I chugged away. It was sometime between 2:30-3am that I must've finally fallen asleep in my own bed. I woke up at 6:30 am feeling like shit. I have drank 2 cups of coffee, have had a coke and am barely keeping it together today at work. Now my Friday night is going to be ruined because I'm going to be so tired and want to fall asleep right after dinner. Argh. And here I have 3 months of anti anxiety medication in my bedroom that I haven't taken to help with this. I don't make sense.
My neighbors are going back to Ohio this weekend to visit so we are watching their house and dog. But it also means a quiet weekend for us. No wrestling, no practices, no neighbors.... awwwww....
My neighbors are going back to Ohio this weekend to visit so we are watching their house and dog. But it also means a quiet weekend for us. No wrestling, no practices, no neighbors.... awwwww....