Ali: Reflection
This is a bit of an interlude taking place immediately after the battle in the Citadel of the Starlit Heavens, picking up where that session ended. :)
Reflections
Long after Sea had gone back to shore to check up on Dancer and the others, Ali was still lying on the pelagic dragon's back, eyes half-closed as the water licked at her legs and sides. Ghost knew her too well, she mused as she listened for anything over the sounds of the water sloshing around and against her, listening for the sounds of battle, for anything to decipher and see how it was going. Sea had said it was okay enough, but still, she couldn't help but think that she should be there, lifting Soulrender and helping to finish this. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved that Hooded Skull hadn't been up there. But the one that had been... well, had been somewhat informative. Ali never talked that much. She never had to talk that much.But she had been trying to gather what information she could, and then, well, Sea had realized the secret. Maybe she should learn that language. Maybe just a little, in her spare time. She had no head for books and stories, but she could read and write, and she understood one very important battle tactic... know thy enemy. If this could help her understand Terrestra, she could figure out how to beat the Ghost of a Solar that had been dead since the First Age... and had... fucking hell... some thousand and... well, a long time to give herself a martyr complex bigger than Creation itself.
But she'd think on that later. Her head hurt, and she was vaguely aware she really shouldn't be thinking right now, but that she should be focusing on meditation to start mending herself. She knew why they hadn't landed, and why Ghost was patrolling the waters - not only to act as one hell of a scary sight, but because if they landed, Ali would be up far faster than she should be, Soulrender in hand, and going to finish business. And because he knew it, and she knew it, Ali wasn't going to be touching ground until Ghost gauged her as being physically capable of withstanding battle. Or able to do anything. And as much as Ali hated to admit it, he was right.
Sea had said a week off and of rest, but Ali didn't have time for that. A week was forever. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a week off. That might have been in the pits... and only because she had gotten in the way of a sword. But because Java, that had been the other one's name, she remembered--remembered it not only because of the memorability of that event, but because she had used that name in his honor while passing through on her travels-- had had to get so close to run her through --she still remembered the hilt against her abdominals, blinding pain, coppery taste of blood in her mouth-- she had been able to bash his skull with the hammer she had been given to fight with. A couple of Tya had tried to buy her then, she'd heard about that later from some of her friends, what with collapsing from blood loss... all of it was memorable because it had been the first time she could remember ever having a week of doing nothing. And now, what with all the death and loss and destruction... all hands were going to be on deck. Including her, no matter what shape she was in. If she could help, she would be damned if she wasn't.
She closed her eyes, feeling the bit of the sun's rays and smiling a little. Both Ghost and Sea were right. What else did she have left to prove now? She'd already shown them that she would fight to the last if they would only let her defend the ones she cared about. That she was reckless--brave? funny how that line blurred--enough to jump off of a Huraka gods knew how far above the water. That she knew how to use Soulrender and wasn't afraid to do so. And, well... she wasn't Storm. She wasn't Storm any more than Dancer was Terrestra. Maybe she should just stop thinking now and focus more on getting herself capable of going back to land. Quit while you're ahead. Wasn't that how the saying went? Fuck quitting. Ali didn't know what quitting was.
She assessed her injuries. Sea had already put her arm back in for her. That was a start. Now, even with this bitch of a headache... it would be an hour or more, maybe, before she'd be able to sit up without having to fight the urge to throw up. "I think I said too much," she told Ghost with a sigh, focusing on the sun, focusing on her Essence. "With a little luck... does it matter any more?" she felt rather than saw the enormous head close by her, within arm's reach if the little droplets of water trickling on her told her anything. The Dawn lifted her arm experimentally and slowly, only to touch the dragon's jaw line with her fingers. The movement hurt, but the pain made her focus as she laid her hand against him, opening her eyes to look up at him. "It does, yeah," she answered her own question. "I don't know if they're still looking for me. I don't want to bring the Wyld Hunt down on everyone here. I mean, we're far enough away from the Realm by now, but, still... and fuck if we haven't just told everyone we're here with killing that asshole and now the Citadel..." She focused on herself, on her Essence, on the injuries she had sustained. She marshalled that Essence like a general guiding her troops, dispatching it throughout her aching limbs and head before closing her eyes and resting some more. Ghost nudged her arm down, and Ali slowly put it over her middle. She was glowing now, shining like the sun itself, as above her, a bear of fire roared its power to the heavens.
It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be, she reminded herself, but how you deal with the problems and pains that come your way. They didn't need to know that she was a pirate's daughter who had been sold first as a servant, then as a whore, then as cheap entertainment in the gladiator pits. And sometimes when the second part carried into the third.... she'd hated that too. She'd fought hard, regardless of whether or not they'd liked it - she wasn't doing it for their benefit. She was doing it for hers - to show that no matter how they chained her, she would fight. To show those miserable fuckers that she wasn't giving them what they wanted - that they were taking something she had no intention of giving. To night fight was to give up. She couldn't do that. She could have stopped fighting and gave up, too many times for her to remember... but if she had...
She wouldn't be here. She wouldn't be worthy of the Unconquered Sun, of Ghost's friendship, Soulrender, the respect she had earned and the friends she had made with the Trill. She'd be dead. "Better not to throw it all away," she opened her eyes again, and moved her arm from her stomach to rest it on his back, spreading her fingers in the water and just touching the rubbery skin. "Sorry for yammering... my head hurts too much to keep it all in there for now." She smiled a little, feeling the child from the shadow of the big head that dripped water on her again. She could well imagine how the others would react to this. Dancer would have nothing but pity and sympathy, and yet... Ali didn't want that. She didn't want to be pitied. She preferred the friendship that came from being equals, princess and pirate. Mists was already quiet enough around her --Ali wondered if she cowed her or something-- didn't need to make that worse, by Ali's reckoning. Presence, or whatever his name was, might well have been amused. Eyes would want to know if she remembered anything from that brothel of hers, and Sea... Ali didn't know. Probably wouldn't care or pay any attention. "Whatever happens... we'll deal with it. I'm done running."
Reflections
Long after Sea had gone back to shore to check up on Dancer and the others, Ali was still lying on the pelagic dragon's back, eyes half-closed as the water licked at her legs and sides. Ghost knew her too well, she mused as she listened for anything over the sounds of the water sloshing around and against her, listening for the sounds of battle, for anything to decipher and see how it was going. Sea had said it was okay enough, but still, she couldn't help but think that she should be there, lifting Soulrender and helping to finish this. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved that Hooded Skull hadn't been up there. But the one that had been... well, had been somewhat informative. Ali never talked that much. She never had to talk that much.But she had been trying to gather what information she could, and then, well, Sea had realized the secret. Maybe she should learn that language. Maybe just a little, in her spare time. She had no head for books and stories, but she could read and write, and she understood one very important battle tactic... know thy enemy. If this could help her understand Terrestra, she could figure out how to beat the Ghost of a Solar that had been dead since the First Age... and had... fucking hell... some thousand and... well, a long time to give herself a martyr complex bigger than Creation itself.
But she'd think on that later. Her head hurt, and she was vaguely aware she really shouldn't be thinking right now, but that she should be focusing on meditation to start mending herself. She knew why they hadn't landed, and why Ghost was patrolling the waters - not only to act as one hell of a scary sight, but because if they landed, Ali would be up far faster than she should be, Soulrender in hand, and going to finish business. And because he knew it, and she knew it, Ali wasn't going to be touching ground until Ghost gauged her as being physically capable of withstanding battle. Or able to do anything. And as much as Ali hated to admit it, he was right.
Sea had said a week off and of rest, but Ali didn't have time for that. A week was forever. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a week off. That might have been in the pits... and only because she had gotten in the way of a sword. But because Java, that had been the other one's name, she remembered--remembered it not only because of the memorability of that event, but because she had used that name in his honor while passing through on her travels-- had had to get so close to run her through --she still remembered the hilt against her abdominals, blinding pain, coppery taste of blood in her mouth-- she had been able to bash his skull with the hammer she had been given to fight with. A couple of Tya had tried to buy her then, she'd heard about that later from some of her friends, what with collapsing from blood loss... all of it was memorable because it had been the first time she could remember ever having a week of doing nothing. And now, what with all the death and loss and destruction... all hands were going to be on deck. Including her, no matter what shape she was in. If she could help, she would be damned if she wasn't.
She closed her eyes, feeling the bit of the sun's rays and smiling a little. Both Ghost and Sea were right. What else did she have left to prove now? She'd already shown them that she would fight to the last if they would only let her defend the ones she cared about. That she was reckless--brave? funny how that line blurred--enough to jump off of a Huraka gods knew how far above the water. That she knew how to use Soulrender and wasn't afraid to do so. And, well... she wasn't Storm. She wasn't Storm any more than Dancer was Terrestra. Maybe she should just stop thinking now and focus more on getting herself capable of going back to land. Quit while you're ahead. Wasn't that how the saying went? Fuck quitting. Ali didn't know what quitting was.
She assessed her injuries. Sea had already put her arm back in for her. That was a start. Now, even with this bitch of a headache... it would be an hour or more, maybe, before she'd be able to sit up without having to fight the urge to throw up. "I think I said too much," she told Ghost with a sigh, focusing on the sun, focusing on her Essence. "With a little luck... does it matter any more?" she felt rather than saw the enormous head close by her, within arm's reach if the little droplets of water trickling on her told her anything. The Dawn lifted her arm experimentally and slowly, only to touch the dragon's jaw line with her fingers. The movement hurt, but the pain made her focus as she laid her hand against him, opening her eyes to look up at him. "It does, yeah," she answered her own question. "I don't know if they're still looking for me. I don't want to bring the Wyld Hunt down on everyone here. I mean, we're far enough away from the Realm by now, but, still... and fuck if we haven't just told everyone we're here with killing that asshole and now the Citadel..." She focused on herself, on her Essence, on the injuries she had sustained. She marshalled that Essence like a general guiding her troops, dispatching it throughout her aching limbs and head before closing her eyes and resting some more. Ghost nudged her arm down, and Ali slowly put it over her middle. She was glowing now, shining like the sun itself, as above her, a bear of fire roared its power to the heavens.
It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be, she reminded herself, but how you deal with the problems and pains that come your way. They didn't need to know that she was a pirate's daughter who had been sold first as a servant, then as a whore, then as cheap entertainment in the gladiator pits. And sometimes when the second part carried into the third.... she'd hated that too. She'd fought hard, regardless of whether or not they'd liked it - she wasn't doing it for their benefit. She was doing it for hers - to show that no matter how they chained her, she would fight. To show those miserable fuckers that she wasn't giving them what they wanted - that they were taking something she had no intention of giving. To night fight was to give up. She couldn't do that. She could have stopped fighting and gave up, too many times for her to remember... but if she had...
She wouldn't be here. She wouldn't be worthy of the Unconquered Sun, of Ghost's friendship, Soulrender, the respect she had earned and the friends she had made with the Trill. She'd be dead. "Better not to throw it all away," she opened her eyes again, and moved her arm from her stomach to rest it on his back, spreading her fingers in the water and just touching the rubbery skin. "Sorry for yammering... my head hurts too much to keep it all in there for now." She smiled a little, feeling the child from the shadow of the big head that dripped water on her again. She could well imagine how the others would react to this. Dancer would have nothing but pity and sympathy, and yet... Ali didn't want that. She didn't want to be pitied. She preferred the friendship that came from being equals, princess and pirate. Mists was already quiet enough around her --Ali wondered if she cowed her or something-- didn't need to make that worse, by Ali's reckoning. Presence, or whatever his name was, might well have been amused. Eyes would want to know if she remembered anything from that brothel of hers, and Sea... Ali didn't know. Probably wouldn't care or pay any attention. "Whatever happens... we'll deal with it. I'm done running."