[OOC] Personality
Cold, controlled. Precise and seemingly indifferent to nearly everything that happens around him and doesn't concern him directly, one way or the other. Such are the traits that strangers are most likely to see within Yuki Judai, along with a seemingly unbreakable determination to follow his set course of action and a generally cool, dismissive attitude in relation to those who present no interest to him. Those who would be tempted to think that the boy is a block of ice through and through would be quite wrong, however - for behind the tightly-guarded exterior there lies a raging torrent of emotions, kept tightly in check most of the time - yet one which manages to rise up to the surface in moments when his control happens to slip (mostly in times of extreme emotional duress, in the presence of the Light of Ruin or around the rare individuals who simply get under his skin by their very nature). For all of his outwardly frozen appearance, the boy is a firebrand - and quite an emotionally unstable one, at that. This becomes rather apparent in the moments when he loses control over what takes place around him and is unable to enforce his will over the things that he wishes to change or influence. This lack of control over the outer environment makes him feel weak and vulnerable - two sensations that he detests, reason why such a situation is guaranteed to arouse his infamous anger.
While the boy was just as innocent and gentle as other children during his early years, such a thing can no longer be said of him at the present moment. The years spent in Dark World -- as well as the fiercely competitive atmosphere of the underground dueling scene - have served to mold him into a very harsh and exacting young man. The vicissitudes of fate -- upon the premise of 'what doesn't kill you ultimately makes you stronger' -- have stripped away almost all outer layers of his personality, either obliterating or pushing inwards such traits as gentleness of spirit, kindheartedness, friendliness, open nature, empathy, the ability to take joy from the simple things of life, leaving behind little more than the bare steel skeleton. He has been left with nearly blind determination, stubbornness almost to a fault, a burning desire to succeed in everything that he does and to prove his ability to those who would look down upon him, as well as a certain inclination for thrill-seeking.
To this base, his existence in Dark Word has also added a significant deal of ruthlessness, hardheartedness - especially towards those that he deems as 'sinners' for having stepped across his taboo lines -- a strong streak of individualism, a distant, seemingly uncaring attitude (often used as something of a mask, in order to conceal his true, inner emotions, the ones that he denounces as being 'weak') as well as a sharp, sarcastic sense of humor. By the end of his sojourn in that Dimension, Judai had become so de-humanized by the brutalities which he had witnessed - and performed himself - that he began regarding himself as little more than a blade, a living breathing weapon, thoroughly cleansed of any traces of hesitation or uncertainty, who existed for one reason only: to utterly eliminate the Light of Destruction, inveterate enemy of all existing life in the Universe. Everything else was irrelevant.
However, most of his self-imposed traits and beliefs have been brought into question after his admission into the Duel Academia -- more specifically, due to that school's wonderfully passionate and eccentric students. His distant, standoffish ways have been challenged in very new and creative manners by a great deal of the others. In a sense, these people, who had entered Judai's life so fiercely and suddenly have swept him along with them, through a sea of emotions that he had thought himself utterly incapable of feeling any longer -- friendship, camaraderie, sympathy, joy at the silliest of things, smiles, laughter and tears. From a certain point of view, they have served to heal some of his older wounds, to teach him what it means to be 'human' once more, to be a balanced individual, who values some of the lives that he is meant to defend.
Despite his seemingly impenetrable armor of stoicism and determination -- as well as the strength of conviction that he displays in all of his battles -- the fact of the matter is that, at his very core, Judai remains a deeply fragile person. The multiple shocks and traumas that he ended up enduring as a child -- as well as the early teenage years spent living on the run from Brron's Duelists, in the Dark World -- may have served to harden him by eliminating all superfluous needs and traits, yet the numerous blows have also shattered crucial parts of his mind, which he has had to methodically re-build afterwards, knowing full-well that the end result would be little more than an amateurish repair-job, that particular part of him ending up vastly diminished in comparison to what it had once truly been. This translates into a very delicate, unbalanced psyche -- one which can alternate between extremes of both joy and rage and which is quite susceptible to the assaults of those who can pinpoint his hidden anxieties.
The most significant of inner faults that he holds hidden are as follows: his almost irrational fear of the force known as the Light - to the point where he is physically ill when feeling its presence, something which always serves to send him into an almost uncontrolled rage. He deeply loathes the Light for its goal of complete purification through destruction, utterly despising those who are controlled by it -- considering them little more than weak, pathetic wretches who deserve to have their lives snuffed out for the sin they have dared to commit. Alongside this, there is also his fear of any kind of mental control/manipulation (both when it concerns himself and others), to such an extent that he reacts fiercely to any such attempts, taking it upon himself to thoroughly castigate the ones who would dare to touch the mind of another, a field which is almost sacrosanct for him.
Duel Academia and those Duelists that he met there served to shift his attitudes towards others to a certain extent, but Judai's deepest, most soul-rending of fears still remains strong, along with the other two mentioned above. This one concerns the potential suffering and death of all those that he has so wearily begun to call 'friends' -- either by his own direct folly, or due to his inability to intervene, placed in an impossible situation. The boy has come to care too much for his colleagues at the Academia and knows that if something would ever happen to them, he would shatter fully, losing what vestiges of humanity and sanity he was able to retain so far, due to his stubbornness and determination
While the boy was just as innocent and gentle as other children during his early years, such a thing can no longer be said of him at the present moment. The years spent in Dark World -- as well as the fiercely competitive atmosphere of the underground dueling scene - have served to mold him into a very harsh and exacting young man. The vicissitudes of fate -- upon the premise of 'what doesn't kill you ultimately makes you stronger' -- have stripped away almost all outer layers of his personality, either obliterating or pushing inwards such traits as gentleness of spirit, kindheartedness, friendliness, open nature, empathy, the ability to take joy from the simple things of life, leaving behind little more than the bare steel skeleton. He has been left with nearly blind determination, stubbornness almost to a fault, a burning desire to succeed in everything that he does and to prove his ability to those who would look down upon him, as well as a certain inclination for thrill-seeking.
To this base, his existence in Dark Word has also added a significant deal of ruthlessness, hardheartedness - especially towards those that he deems as 'sinners' for having stepped across his taboo lines -- a strong streak of individualism, a distant, seemingly uncaring attitude (often used as something of a mask, in order to conceal his true, inner emotions, the ones that he denounces as being 'weak') as well as a sharp, sarcastic sense of humor. By the end of his sojourn in that Dimension, Judai had become so de-humanized by the brutalities which he had witnessed - and performed himself - that he began regarding himself as little more than a blade, a living breathing weapon, thoroughly cleansed of any traces of hesitation or uncertainty, who existed for one reason only: to utterly eliminate the Light of Destruction, inveterate enemy of all existing life in the Universe. Everything else was irrelevant.
However, most of his self-imposed traits and beliefs have been brought into question after his admission into the Duel Academia -- more specifically, due to that school's wonderfully passionate and eccentric students. His distant, standoffish ways have been challenged in very new and creative manners by a great deal of the others. In a sense, these people, who had entered Judai's life so fiercely and suddenly have swept him along with them, through a sea of emotions that he had thought himself utterly incapable of feeling any longer -- friendship, camaraderie, sympathy, joy at the silliest of things, smiles, laughter and tears. From a certain point of view, they have served to heal some of his older wounds, to teach him what it means to be 'human' once more, to be a balanced individual, who values some of the lives that he is meant to defend.
Despite his seemingly impenetrable armor of stoicism and determination -- as well as the strength of conviction that he displays in all of his battles -- the fact of the matter is that, at his very core, Judai remains a deeply fragile person. The multiple shocks and traumas that he ended up enduring as a child -- as well as the early teenage years spent living on the run from Brron's Duelists, in the Dark World -- may have served to harden him by eliminating all superfluous needs and traits, yet the numerous blows have also shattered crucial parts of his mind, which he has had to methodically re-build afterwards, knowing full-well that the end result would be little more than an amateurish repair-job, that particular part of him ending up vastly diminished in comparison to what it had once truly been. This translates into a very delicate, unbalanced psyche -- one which can alternate between extremes of both joy and rage and which is quite susceptible to the assaults of those who can pinpoint his hidden anxieties.
The most significant of inner faults that he holds hidden are as follows: his almost irrational fear of the force known as the Light - to the point where he is physically ill when feeling its presence, something which always serves to send him into an almost uncontrolled rage. He deeply loathes the Light for its goal of complete purification through destruction, utterly despising those who are controlled by it -- considering them little more than weak, pathetic wretches who deserve to have their lives snuffed out for the sin they have dared to commit. Alongside this, there is also his fear of any kind of mental control/manipulation (both when it concerns himself and others), to such an extent that he reacts fiercely to any such attempts, taking it upon himself to thoroughly castigate the ones who would dare to touch the mind of another, a field which is almost sacrosanct for him.
Duel Academia and those Duelists that he met there served to shift his attitudes towards others to a certain extent, but Judai's deepest, most soul-rending of fears still remains strong, along with the other two mentioned above. This one concerns the potential suffering and death of all those that he has so wearily begun to call 'friends' -- either by his own direct folly, or due to his inability to intervene, placed in an impossible situation. The boy has come to care too much for his colleagues at the Academia and knows that if something would ever happen to them, he would shatter fully, losing what vestiges of humanity and sanity he was able to retain so far, due to his stubbornness and determination