Musings
So I am home from my visit at Donna and Mical's. I'm glad I went, I really am. I wasn't very good company and I'm sorry. Truly sorry, but thank you for letting me visit for a bit. Lately I feel like a yo-yo or worse. I have a few moments where I can get caught up in a conversation and have a good time. Mostly though I feel like I am forcing myself to interact. Or I just sink into myself. Like being wrapped in a cocoon of despair. I hesitate to say depression, it sounds so cliche and trite. I don't want to say its just about moving, there are other factors: trying to be sure I have help with transportation, leaving Outpost, family, and several more very personal things. Its not about getting through the day, I feel as if I can't get through the next five minutes.
The drive felt shorter today, maybe its driving when the sun is up. Nice weather though. I remember when Torrey and I were driving back to Utah, I couldn't get us on the right freeway in my own city. Now I can get to Indiana and back without a map. I give directions at work because I apparently know Milwaukee pretty well. Weird huh?
I am glad I could help raise money for Will and for March of Dimes. It wasn't as long as it should have been. I know I am out of shape and all, but I am still so very sore. I shouldn't be, it must be my little cold that I still haven't thrown off. My chest hurts, well the muscles under the ribs. I must be coughing to much. My head still hurts. I've had a headache for four days, but at least the sinus pressure is far far less.
So I have a moving date and a plan that I need to go over with Sasha. *crosses fingers* Mom is being fantastic and putting together a few boxes of food and supplies for me. Yay! Ugh, I don't feel well. And I mean that in the physical, emotional, and spiritual sense. I sometimes wish I had musical talent, its my second favorite medium. But it is the strongest. However, what I lack in tha actual talent arena I make up for in interest. I use the music around me to describe my mood and try to sort out my thoughts. Right now I seem to have two conflicting voices. I just feel so lost, so confused, so alone. Oh well, I guess everyone has their problems. I'm going to go now.
The drive felt shorter today, maybe its driving when the sun is up. Nice weather though. I remember when Torrey and I were driving back to Utah, I couldn't get us on the right freeway in my own city. Now I can get to Indiana and back without a map. I give directions at work because I apparently know Milwaukee pretty well. Weird huh?
I am glad I could help raise money for Will and for March of Dimes. It wasn't as long as it should have been. I know I am out of shape and all, but I am still so very sore. I shouldn't be, it must be my little cold that I still haven't thrown off. My chest hurts, well the muscles under the ribs. I must be coughing to much. My head still hurts. I've had a headache for four days, but at least the sinus pressure is far far less.
So I have a moving date and a plan that I need to go over with Sasha. *crosses fingers* Mom is being fantastic and putting together a few boxes of food and supplies for me. Yay! Ugh, I don't feel well. And I mean that in the physical, emotional, and spiritual sense. I sometimes wish I had musical talent, its my second favorite medium. But it is the strongest. However, what I lack in tha actual talent arena I make up for in interest. I use the music around me to describe my mood and try to sort out my thoughts. Right now I seem to have two conflicting voices. I just feel so lost, so confused, so alone. Oh well, I guess everyone has their problems. I'm going to go now.