Farewell Token

[misguided_angel]

"So I saw her to the bus stop, kissed her on the cheek as she was about to board it, and walked home. She never minded a farewell token of affection, because being a farewell it could lead no further. I resolved as I walked home to talk to her quite openly about love, sex, marriage and realised that my resolve too was simply because I was walking

Comments

[ilwarden]

Hm.
The folly of the engaged; "There's always next-time...i'll remember for next time."

[misguided_angel]

This is, more than anything else, a reminder for myself. I fall foul of this tendency all too often, and once again find myself wondering of the potential consequences of inaction, of lack of courage in the moment.

[ilwarden]

Ah, but it was just as much a reminder to me -- i think it's a relatively easy habit/state to get into, or to begin to embark on.

[misguided_angel]

Absolutely. I read this passage not more than an hour or two after I'd done exactly the same thing. I think the proximity to the moment emphasised the point!

[ilwarden]

I know that for me -- i was always distracted by Her presence.
There was always a novel-worth of things i wanted to tell her and share with her, when she wasn't around, but when she was there -- i was all starry-eyes and flutter-heart.
Not a state too conducive to expressing, and, complacent in the fact that "there'll be another time..." i never worried about it much.
Seize not just the day, but the moment.

[misguided_angel]

That sounds very similar to the way I often feel, heart a-flutter and so on. It's not like we don't know each other better than practically anyone, but sometimes those emotionally truthful admissions are the hardest things to enunciate when you're right there in the moment. I wonder if I fear rejection or somehow otherwise ruining said moment, but I don't think that's it - it's more complacency and waiting for the perfect circumstance.

"Seize not just the day, but the moment."

That's great advice. I really will do my utmost to follow it.