it rained today
i think it's funny how we force ourselves to forget.
i force myself to forget hurtful memories. you can trick your mind into believing you never loved someone when you know it was real.
i am at a funny point in my life.
thing's are better. i have better friend's. i am more upbeat, positive, oiptomistic, but.... there is a huge piece missing.
i have alway's been a lover. my entire life.
lately, i am nowhere near that.
then i am reminded. i gave my heart away. i am living in her hell. does she finally get it? i am happy, but never complete. she will never realize it entirely. she will never know how serious i was.
i cannot be with anyone. as for sophi, i called it off. i decided she wasnt emotionally mature enough for me. she went back to ethan. she still call's me and tell's me she want's to be with me.
last night i went to a show, it was rather amazing. i met up with my friend Steven, he just got back from exploring california. brandon and kristen were there, together we are the three aries, it was wonderful. we danced and danced and danced and danced.
then steven and brandon came over and we talked and talked and talked and talked. we formed an alliance. we were going to go dancing, but instead we talked. we were so involved in what we were saying that even when some friends stopped by, we simply left the living room and all continued our conversation in the bathroom. it has been a while since i have had real guy friend's.
steven played the guitar last night and sang. words cannot describe how blown away i was. i had no idea how much talent he had.
i am having another gathering this saturday and steve and Joss (who also came by) are going to be the musical entertainment. it should be fun.
we all talked about making this short film i wrote called 'the lost children'. we decided to do it. they will be my actor's, as well as myself.
becca called me from rome earlier, but our connection cut us off. and so i went for a small walk.
it rained today.
i wake up in the morning and i smile. i think about the girl i like, then my smile fade's when i realize that there is no one. it's an odd feeling. i almost alway's have someone i am into. now i just have fling's and "friends". i have gotten use to it.
my brother and his girlfriend of 2 and half year's broke up last night.
tonight i am meeting up with some friend's and going to downtown boise for mexican day.
all i knew in the past was my girlfriend. she was my only friend. my only real friend. and i wonder now how real it was to her.
she messaged me. two days ago would have been our one year. she wrote me a long email telling me that she realized everything i tried to explain to her about us and what we had and what we were losing, etc. why now? why so late?
i think about her.
i force myself to forget hurtful memories. you can trick your mind into believing you never loved someone when you know it was real.
i am at a funny point in my life.
thing's are better. i have better friend's. i am more upbeat, positive, oiptomistic, but.... there is a huge piece missing.
i have alway's been a lover. my entire life.
lately, i am nowhere near that.
then i am reminded. i gave my heart away. i am living in her hell. does she finally get it? i am happy, but never complete. she will never realize it entirely. she will never know how serious i was.
i cannot be with anyone. as for sophi, i called it off. i decided she wasnt emotionally mature enough for me. she went back to ethan. she still call's me and tell's me she want's to be with me.
last night i went to a show, it was rather amazing. i met up with my friend Steven, he just got back from exploring california. brandon and kristen were there, together we are the three aries, it was wonderful. we danced and danced and danced and danced.
then steven and brandon came over and we talked and talked and talked and talked. we formed an alliance. we were going to go dancing, but instead we talked. we were so involved in what we were saying that even when some friends stopped by, we simply left the living room and all continued our conversation in the bathroom. it has been a while since i have had real guy friend's.
steven played the guitar last night and sang. words cannot describe how blown away i was. i had no idea how much talent he had.
i am having another gathering this saturday and steve and Joss (who also came by) are going to be the musical entertainment. it should be fun.
we all talked about making this short film i wrote called 'the lost children'. we decided to do it. they will be my actor's, as well as myself.
becca called me from rome earlier, but our connection cut us off. and so i went for a small walk.
it rained today.
i wake up in the morning and i smile. i think about the girl i like, then my smile fade's when i realize that there is no one. it's an odd feeling. i almost alway's have someone i am into. now i just have fling's and "friends". i have gotten use to it.
my brother and his girlfriend of 2 and half year's broke up last night.
tonight i am meeting up with some friend's and going to downtown boise for mexican day.
all i knew in the past was my girlfriend. she was my only friend. my only real friend. and i wonder now how real it was to her.
she messaged me. two days ago would have been our one year. she wrote me a long email telling me that she realized everything i tried to explain to her about us and what we had and what we were losing, etc. why now? why so late?
i think about her.