(no subject)

[misfratz]

I do not know when people who have children manage to write anything coherent. I mentioned this as an example of how crapitalism did not in fact encourage (or even allow) creativity when J's silly friend was here and we were arguing about it, and they said 'oh well JK Rowling' which is utter shit as she says she wrote in Elephant House while her child was asleep. Here is what happens when I walk Ursula around in pushchair to get her to sleep: she takes about 15 minutes to drop off, even if really tired, during which time I panic about whether she is really hungry or in pain or something instead, or just looking at trees and not really tired, or would rather be going on the swing; eventually however if she has been showing signs of tiredness and all other options are exhausted, she does go to sleep. I then try and go into a cafe. She is woken immediately by the change in temperature, or if not that then by the yapping, screeching laughter, bellowing, of other customers or simply by the hissing of the coffee machine. At which point I am in a cafe, carrying a hot drink and pushing a screaming baby in a pushchair, wanting to leave because I can see everyone else thinks I am a Chav Mother of Doom, and yet feeling that I should drink my hot drink because damn it, I paid for it. So then perhaps I get Ursula out of pushchair (sniffling by this point) and see if offering her milk will get her back to sleep. Except that because it's noisy and there are people, she is distracted, so yanks her head back every 30 seconds to look around, meaning nipple flashing the whole of bloody Edinburgh and also more crying as she doesn't think that milk supply should cut off merely because she has decided to wrench herself unlatched. The pain isn't even an issue compared to the embarrassment. Anyway, giving up on the whole feeding thing, she then is allowed to sit and grin (but occasionally revert to crying- remember this is an extremely tired baby) at other customers but also wants to grab everything on table, and possibly cover herself with cake if she is given a small amount to try. In the unlikely event she does deign to go to sleep while feeding, she will immediately awaken if I move slightly to get a pen or paper from my bag, and is hyper-aware of the sound of velcro or clips being undone to get things out also. Conversely should I go pre-prepared with paper and pen out, she will refuse to feed as the possibility of grabbing and chewing pen and paper are more appealing. She will also not be put down into her pushchair, on pain of screaming. Thus, I am typing this next to her sitting in her highchair, which makes me a neglectful parent, of course, and that's even without seeing that she's covered in chocolate goo as I gave her a biscuit since I was having one (or two, or several) to dip in my tea, which as we are at home is at least beyond reach. Could I maintain the concentration to write an entire novel at this point? No. The fact that one woman had a baby who slept enough for her to write a well imagined but slightly clunkily written childrens novel is not an indication that women caring for children are just whining when they say that the lack of childcare, facilities (why the hell aren't there soft-play centres with wifi?), and general support from the child's other parent(s) means they do not get chance to be creative or to work when they have a young child with them.

Unsurprisingly, babies in novels written by men (cf McCall Smith's young Dalhousie child) sleep almost constantly. Perhaps it's the gin?

So this is basically an excuse for why I don't update livejournal very often.