Genre Challenge May Drabbles
The stories below are a month's worth of drabbles written for genre_challenge . May's genre was comedy. It was fun but drama is much easier for me to write... Does that make me a drama queen? ^^;
May 1st - Black
A Harebrained Surprise
Sailor Moon
PG
The pink envelope looked completely out of place in the tidy masculine apartment. Yet, there it lay unopened on the table next to a half filled coffee mug. The decor’s black tones made the envelope stand out all the more.
Mamoru glazed at the envelope before him. He knew the sender even though the only words sprawled upon it were ‘Happy Birthday, Mamoru-baka’. As if addressing him as baka wasn’t obvious enough, bunny stickers covered both sides.
A slight smirk played at the corners of his mouth at her childish behavior. His right eye copied his twitching mouth but for a completely different reason. He was sure it was a ruse. But the envelope looked innocent enough, and surely nothing heinous could fit into something so small.
He quickly snatched the envelope and ripped it open revealing a birthday card. Breathing a sigh of relief, Mamoru leaned his chair back resting his feet on the table.
A brief pause of confused silence followed him opening the card; inside it was bare. Then, a blaring racket of several voices hollowing “happy birthday” erupted from the card. Startled, he jerked backwards causing the chair to slip backwards under him. Lying on the floor a battered from the fall he heard giggling emanating from the recording in the card. Now if he had seen the mug teeter tottering on edge of the table he would’ve quickly moved out of range of its hot liquid. But he never noticed the mug till too late.
May 2nd - Unicorn
Apprentice's Revenge
Original
PG
Katalya had been waiting for her moment of revenge since the moment she began her apprenticeship to Rowen, the magically creature tamer. It wasn’t that her master had treated her wickedly. Quite the opposite, in fact, he was known for his patience, good-natured attitude. It was the practical jokes that drove her to revenge and drove away all of his other apprentices.
Strolling into the field with a basket of oaks in one hand and apples in the other, she tried to appear casual and relaxed. ‘Just act normal,’ she told herself, ‘and this plan will work. Just because none of the other ones worked out doesn’t mean this one is destined to fail.’ She sighed, and then covered up the act as a yawn.
She sat down a short distance from where Rowen was walking over to tend to a bronze scaled dragon. As soon as Katalya settled the flock of unicorns pranced over to her. She stroked the unicorns’ silky mains and passed out apples while keeping watch on the dragon.
Approaching the dragon that faced away from him, Rowen heard a slight growling noise but ignored it thinking it was just the dragon’s hungry stomach. Then when he was just a few feet away the dragon suddenly lifted its tail into the air and let loose a fiery fart. He stood there wide-eyed with the tips of his hair alit as both dragon and apprentice cackled loud.
May 3rd - Funeral Home
Are You Listening?
Original
PG
“Oh, Charlie, it was so romantic how Harry proposed to Ginger,” said Stacey briefly grasping Charlie’s hand. “There they were in the middle of the busy street, glazing at one another, and… Hey, are you listening?”
He nodded slightly not looking up from the neatly folded newspaper laying in his lap.
Not believing him in the least, she decided to catch him not listening. “So there they were and suddenly this zombie came running down the street. She must have escaped from that funeral home down on Fifth Street. You know the one, don’t you?” She paused to give him a chance to react to her made-up story but he simply nodded again.
“Don’t you think that’s romantic, Charlie?” she said ready to grab his newspaper and whap him with it.
“Oh yes, that’s quite romantic.” He looked over at her with a smirk on his face. “Not every man would bring the dead back to life for a proposal.”
May 4th - Car Crash
Terror Behind the Wheel
Sailor Moon
PG-13
Haruka leaned against her car door, glaring at the man seated next to her. She had already waited 16 years for this test and now here she was stuck with a slow ass instructor. She murmured curses under her breath that were lost in the sounds of traffic.
“Ok now before you start there’s an exercise that seems to help everyone. Close your eyes and picture yourself successfully completing this test.”
Sighing in annoyance, she closed her eyes. “Is this really necessary?”
“You’ll see it’ll be a huge relief. Now first picture yourself turning on the car and driving out of the parking lot.”
Haruka pictured herself stomping on the gas and flying out of the parking lot tires squealing. The instructor screamed and held on desperately as she sharply turned out of the parking lot with the car tilting up into the air.
“Picture yourself expertly driving with the traffic.”
Her mental self was swiftly weaving in and out of traffic, laughing at the blaring horns. With the wind blowing in her hair, she pushed the car into even faster speeds.
“Lastly, remember don’t stress it. You can take this test over again.”
She winced at the thought of failing and her mental car suddenly popped a tired sending the car crashing into traffic. She opened her eyes thinking about her poor beautiful car all smashed up.
The instructor grinned smugly like he knew what she was thinking. “Yup, that exercise always helps to slow kids down somehow.”
May 5th - 666
Mr. Bunny
Original
PG
Amanda and her little sister, Sarah, sat on the couch with their legs pulled up glaring at one another. Sarah hugged a white rabbit stuffed animal protectively to her chest while Amanda tugged on its ear.
“Come on, Sarah. Just give the bunny back her little friend. Look you’re making her sad,” Amanda said point at the brown lop-eared rabbit stared at the two from across the room.
“Sad my butt. She didn’t look sad when she chased us around the room biting at our heels.” Sarah yanked the ear out of Amanda’s hand and scooted away. “That bunny is a cannibal. I’m sure she’s planning on eating my poor Mr. Bunny.”
“Eating a stuffed animal wouldn’t make her a cannibal.” To this Sarah gave her a look that clearly meant I don’t care what you say.
“She was probably the six hundred sixty-six bunny born making her pure evil.”
“A bunny can’t have that many babies and that’s not nice to say. If you’d just give her back her little friend we wouldn’t be sitting here like a bunch of ninnies. And beside-” Suddenly, Amanda grabbed the stuffed animal and threw it onto the floor taking her sister by surprise. Before her sister could so much as scream the lop rabbit zoomed over to the stuffed animal and started happily grooming the toy’s ears.
Grudgingly Sarah admitted the rabbit wasn’t a cannibal and everyone lived on happily. That is until Sarah saw Mr. Camel getting pulled under the bed by the rabbit.
May 6th - U
U.F.O.
Sailor Moon
PG
Chibi-Usa looked up from her homework with a thoughtful dazed look and scrunched her eyebrows together in puzzlement. “Hey Usagi, I have a question.”
“What is it, brat?” Usagi asked sitting down next to her.
“Are the sailor senshi U.F.Os?”
“Duh, no. U.F.O. means unidentified flying object.”
“They could be, you know. Like no one knows them so they’re unidentified. I’m pretty sure they can fly because they’re so cool and an object is just something you can see or feel. So I’m right, right?”
“Err… well I don’t think they fly. They just jump with grace but they are differently cool,” Usagi said with a cheesy grin. “I think that thing is more of a U.F.O.” She pointed at floating Luna P.
Chibi-Usa stuck her tongue out at Usagi before continuing on with her homework.
May 7th - Rainy
Just an Unevil Rainy Day
Wizard of Oz
PG
The wicked witch of the west hated rainy days. If she could have it her way water would never fall from the sky or be in buckets that lost little farm girls could easily throw. But, alas, she couldn’t get her way so she was trapped in her own fortress with very little evil to perform on this rainy day. Sure, she could spend the time wiping up a good batch of hexes and potions but after a while it got boring. She needed some real evil deeds fast.
As she paced about the hallway, changing the color of a flying monkey’s fur, she couldn’t think of a single deed. She changed it to pink. “Too sickly cute’” she muttered. Then she changed it to black. “Too cliché. Ah, I know green.” With a flick of the wrist the monkey turned green. “No, that won’t do. Now you look like you belong with those Emerald City freaks. Hm…”
The flying monkey for his part had been remaining absolutely silent. He knew he should tell her that the rain had stopped hours ago but being evil was such a pain at times.
May 8th - Soldier
A Flying Monkey’s Life
Wizard of Oz
PG
When Henry signed up to be a soldier of the wicked witch of the west he never imagined the embarrassments he’d have to face. But then again you tried not to imagine it when you were descended from a long line of winged monkeys because you were destined for soldier work for the wicked witch. The minute anyone thought of a flying monkey they thought of the wicked witch’s soldiers. The last time Henry went for a job interview at the Emerald City, the little green men screamed about the wicked witch and promptly slammed the door in his face.
He thought about hiding out in the woods more than once but there were reported sightings of lions, tigers, and bears. Henry had never met one personally but they were suppose to be ferocious. Plus, he heard that the woods weren’t set up for cable. It was bad enough that he had to life with the basic channels at the witch’s fortress.
May 9th - Porche
A Man's Treasure
Sailor Moon
PG
“Hello, Mr. Tanaka,” the psychiatrist said swiveling her chair to face the man entering the office. “Please feel free to have a seat where ever you feel comfortable.” She gestured to the chair and couch facing her desk, and once Mr. Tanaka lay upon the couch she continued. “I understand that you called my office needing an urgent session, am I correct?”
Mr. Tanaka nodded. “Neither my family or friends believe what I’m telling them is happening is true. They think I’ve lost my mind,” he said with a hint of a bitter laugh.
“Well, why don’t you explain to me what’s happening?” she said jotting notes down.
“The senshi have wagged war against my car.”
“Now when you say senshi-”
“I mean the sailor senshi and it’s not just them. Those monsters, aliens, freaky things that they fight have wagged war against my beautiful Porche too. I have proof this stuff is occurring. I have numerous police reports of deep claw gashes, lightening and fire scorch marks on the leather, and high-heeled indentions on the hood. Not only that, it was stolen once and the passenger’s side was covered in a purple goo.”
“Now Mr. Tanaka surely this is just random acts. The senshi don’t have malice toward you.”
“Well it’s kind of hard to think that when the blonde one with the weird pigtails swung that wand to finish of the monster except it flew out of her hand and went right through my Porche’s windshield.”
May 10th - Stepmother
Kodak Moment
Fruit Basket
PG-13
“Hey, Tohru come look at this picture I found,” Shigure called out barely holding in laughter. “You come here too, Kyo.”
“Coming,” Tohru called coming from the kitchen. She sat down across from where Shigure sat with his laptop on the table.
“This better not be stupid,” Kyo said gruffly sitting down at the table next to Tohru.
“What you’re about to witness is not for the faint of heart. It’s-”
“God, this is stupid,” Kyo said getting up.
“Wait, I was only having a little fun,” Shigure whined.
“Just get on with it.”
“Fine, it seems a certain female in your class had a recent trip to the hospital. Nothing major but when Yuki went there to deliver the class flowers she gave him a sob story and told him her dying wish.”
“How the hell do you know all this?”
“Her blog has become suddenly very popular. Anyways, she told him her wish was to see him in her stepmother’s Victorian dress. Then she whipped out the stepmother’s dress and this was the result.” Shigure spun the laptop around to reveal a picture of a blushing Yuki in a lacy pink Victorian dress. After a moment of stun silence, Kyo roared with laughter while Tohru awed.
May 11th - Band-Aid
Playing Doctor
Sailor Moon
PG-13
When Ami asked Urawa if he wanted to play doctor he had jumped at the opportunity. Now an hour later with both his arms wrapped in bandages, his left leg in a removable cast, and countless band-aids over his body he realized his version of doctor and her version were totally different.
“Um… Ami.”
“That’s Doctor Mizuno,” she said ripping off a band-aid.
“Ow! Ok, Doctor Mizuno this isn’t quite what I had in mind.”
“Well you should have thought of that sir before you attacked that wasp hive.”
“What?”
She sighed. “Urawa, remember you’re a patient now that was stung by wasps and I’m checking to see how the wounds are doing. I need practice interacting with patients before I start my internship.”
“I know, it’s just I thought you meant something else when you said play doctor.” A hint of a blush rose on his cheeks.
“Oh my…” Ami’s face turned red as she realized the implication and she lightly smacked Urawa on the shoulder.
May 12th - Image
A Warrior's Task
Sailor Moon
PG
Queen Neo Serenity marched purposely down the hallway within the Crystal Palace with a weapon of choice in each hand. Her crafty opponent may have chased away all others from the task but the queen had a warrior’s training to help her endure the horrors ahead.
She stopped before the closed door taking a deep breath and prepared herself to deal with the terror within. A common rumor was that her opponent’s lair was a filthy, malodorous dwelling. Placing one of her weapons under her arm, she grabbed the handle and swung open the door. Wincing at the blaring noise, she brandished her weapon at the roaring monster.
“Mom,” ChibiUsa shouted over her radio. “What are you doing?”
“I’m here to slay the filthy beast that resides here,” said Serenity lightly tapped on her daughter’s head with a feather duster. “There the beast is dead and the beautiful princess I rescued will gladly clean the lair, right?”
ChibiUsa rolled her eyes but grabbed the vacuum and feather duster out of her mother’s hands.
May 13th - Arbor Day
Seedling's Mistake
Pokemon
PG
Seedot nervously scanned the forest through the leafy branches of a shrub. The calendar next to him said today was the day he dreaded all year, Arbor Day. Sure, it was a good day for the environment but when you look like a giant tree seed and couldn’t move all that far Arbor Day just isn’t your day. Not only did he have to hide from humans that would bound up to him and plant in firmly in the ground, the celebi were over zealously zooming about looking for anything to plant.
Last time he hadn’t hid and a celebi piled a mound of dirt around him. And the year before that a little girl planted him in a flower box. But this year he would remain unplanted or at least he would have if the wind hadn’t pulled off too many date pages off the calendar the day before.
May 14th - Hockey
Jellybeans
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
PG
“And this room, children, is where we test the sports variety jellybeans,” said Willy Wonka leading the group into another room.
“So what do they taste like?” asked Charlie.
“Probably gym socks and guy’s cups,” said Violet rather nastily.
Willy spun around to face Violet. “The flavors are all regular. It’s the fact that give the eater a peticular sports talent that makes them so remarkable.” He picked up a purple jellybean from the table. “Like this one for example it’s-”
Violet grabbed the jellybean from his hand and promptly ate it.
“Hockey… As much as I would just love to a muscular brute,” Willy said mockingly, “I’m leaving this to the ooppas. Now moving on.” Willy moved on with the group as the Hulk version of Violet body checked an ooppa.
May 15th - Graveyard
Unquiet Dead
Corpse Bride
PG
Alyssa sighed wistfully as she started at the night sky from her grave. "Harold," she said tapping on the grave next to her. When only a slight grumbling could be heard, she angrily crossed her decaying arms and humphed. "Fine. Maybe I shouldn't have tried talking to you."
"No," said a male voice a couple graves away. "Maybe you shouldn't have poisoned me."
"I'm not talking to you, you old coot. I'm talking to my dear Harold. Well actually not so dear since he won't talk to me." Another groan came from Harold's grave.
Mumbling so Alyssa couldn't hear him he said, "I've had 56 years of her talking. I thought that I'd get a little quiet at least in the afterlife."
May 16th - Socks
Smelly Sock War
Original
PG
Dylan and Al, the Taylor twins, knew the dangers dirty socks possessed. Especially since they had an older jock brother, Charlie. So when they had agreed to never use to the powers of a smelly sock against each other they both had planned to keep the peace. Unfortunately, the truce only lasted an afternoon before the smelly sock war began again.
Right after school the twin came running kicking off their shoes and ran for the love sofa closest to the tv. Both of them reached the sofa at the same time colliding into each other. They both howled when they smelled each others socks. Glaring at one another, like mirror images, they ran over to Charlie sitting down in the kitchen. Each grabbed one of Charlie's socks and pushed it into the others face. Then over dramatically they gagged and gasped for air before pretending to be dead.
Charlie rolled his eyes, "You two are so weird."
May 17th - "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton
Jinx
Harry Potter
PG
The Weasley twins grinned wolfishly as they watched the magic hexed pill dissolved into the pitcher of pumpkin juice. They had spent a great many hours perfecting the hex and then many more researching muggle songs to find just the right one. They almost howled with laughter picturing everyone at dinner singing Unbreak My Heart by the muggle Toni Braxton and dancing to it.
Their mother called for them to bring the juice to the living room and they happily complied hiding different mugs under their sweaters. The pitcher floated around filling everyone's cups.
"Wait a moment," said Hermione stopping Ron and Harry from drinking. "I think you two should drink first."
With a smug look the twins guzzled their pumpkin juice. Soon afterward they were yelling at one another between belching the song and pelvic thrusting to the song.
May 18th - Weeping Willow
Research
Naruto
PG-13
Seated comfortably underneath a weeping willow Jiraiya conducted his "research" for novels. He chuckled as he watched the monitor screen before him. Never before had be used technology to aid him seeing it was an unwanted crutch. Besides he almost never was caught and seeing the ladies for himself was much more rewarding.
Jiraiya sighed wishing he could see the beauties on the screen in person. Sadly for him he was constantly getting thwarted by that pesky Naruto.
Ignoring his thoughts he turned his attention back to the screen. No use wasting time after all. When he looked back at the screen the girls were gone and a man the size of a sumo walked into the pond. The man's fleshy body jiggling as he moved. Jiraiya howled in disgust and muttered curses.
Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to be a pervert hermit.
May 19th - Cyborg
Prank
Teen Titans
PG
Raven walked down the hallway engrossed in a spell book. As she passed Cyborg's room she noticed the doorway wide open. She glanced up quickly but turned her full attention to the room when she saw Beast Boy sneaking up on the snoring Cyborg.
"Ah... Beast Boy?"
Beast Boy looked up in alarm and motioned for her to be quiet. Closing her book, she gave him an irritated look but kept quiet.
He proceeded closer spraying whipped cream into Cyborg's hand. Then softly chuckling he gave the thumbs up to Raven who just rolled her eyes at him. Turning one of his fingers into a feather he tickled Cyborg's nose and was rewarded with Cyborg's creamed hand smeared it all over his face.
Beast Boy dragged Raven away from the screaming Cyborg laughing as he ran.
May 20th - Jungle
First Day of School
Original
PG
"Sarah, are you ready yet?" Sarah's mom called to her. "You're going to be late for your first day of school if you don't hurry.
"Coming mommy," she called back running down the stairs. Reaching the last stair she threw her arms in the air with a "ta da" and showed off the outfit she'd picked out. She was dressed in a floral bathing suit and a pink too-too with the crown from her Pretty, Pretty Princess game. Sarah's hair was tangled and frizzed with hair clips all over.
"You look like you're ready to be a jungle girl. Not ready to go to school silly."
Giggling she said, "I wish school was a jungle, mommy. I'd be the best jungle girl ever." She spread her feet apart and gave her best Tarzan pose."
May 21st - Fear
Fearless King
Sailor Moon
PG
King Endymion entered the room with a stony face to hide his fear. He knew the horrible agony he'd have to go through and marveled in the strength his wife had to endure this regularly. The brave king would happily face any enemy instead of changing his darling baby's diaper.
Ok, just breath, he coached himself. Wait no. Hold your breath.
He looked back over his shoulder at the group of grinning woman jeering and laughing at him. Sighing, he gave a little wave and what he hoped was a brave smile.
Approaching his laughing baby he cringed and felt his eyebrow twitch. "You just love torturing your daddy, don't you small lady?" he cooed in an overly sweet voice.
May 22nd - Painting
Masterpiece
Sailor Moon
PG
Small Lady sat before the clean white wall with her fingerpaints next to her. Her aunty Michiru had given her a beautiful set of colors for her fourth birthday the day before and now she was itching to make something beautiful with them. But the picture would have to be something big, the little papers she was suppose to paint on would never do.
She heard her papa calling out for her and giggled. Her poor papa was never good at hide and seek.
Dipping her hands into the bright yellow paint she doodled little designs on the wall and continued until ever color was used. Then giggling she covered herself in the paint to match the wall. Only when she was done did she call out for her papa to see her masterpiece.
May 23rd - "The Highway Man" by Alfred Noyes
Stupid
Inuyasha
PG
"Hey Kagome," called Inuyasha leaping on top of her desk. Ignoring him Kagome kept reading the piece of paper before her. "Hey," he pointed her forehead trying to get her attention.
"What is it, Inuyasha?" Kagome said clearly irritated.
"What's keeping you? We need to get back."
"I need to finish memorizing The Highway Man first." She gave him a little push to get him off her desk. Not moving in the least he grabbed the paper from her.
"It looks stupid."
"It's not stupid, Inuyasha. It's a love tragedy. The girl sacrifices her life to warn him that his enemies have captured her and then he-"
"That's so stupid. If the girl was so weak he shouldn't have left her alone. If he was a real man he'd destroy is enemies with a single blow just like this." He grabbed his sword and swung it chopping her bed in half.
"Inuyasha..."
"Oh boy," he said trying to scramble away from Kagome.
"Sit boy!"
May 24th - "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." - William Penn
Wasting Summer
Original
PG
"I can't wait until school is over," Amy said slumping over her desk. "I don't think I can take anymore learning."
"I think we should just run out of here now. I know we can make it if we try. All the adults are old and out of shape," mused Amy's friend, Linda.
"Yeah but then we'd have to move and it's too hot," whined Tina fanning herself.
"You know I want summer to come just so I can waste it away being lazy. Doesn't sleeping in and being a couch potato sound great?"
"Yeah," Linda said with a sigh.
"Three whole months of pure laziness sounds like heaven."
"Well girls," said their teacher coming up behind them, "keep dreaming. You've got two more weeks of pure work."
All three girls whined while the teacher chuckled.
May 25th - Knife
Mr. Fork and Ms. Spoon
Original
PG
"What is a knife?" Sam asked his sister while setting the table.
"Duh. It's a utensil," she said snotty.
Sam rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. You know a spoon seems like a girl and a fork is like a boy so what does that make a fork?"
Violet stared at her bother like he was insane. "You're quite serious, aren't you?"
"Aren't I always serious? No, don't answer that. So what do you think it is?"
"Um... confused?"
"Oh that's really helpful."
"You know your theory of Mr. Fork and Ms. Spoon doesn't work because there's sporks."
"Think about a spork is a fork and spoon so what would that make it? Hm...."
Violet wrinkled her nose. "You really need to pick up a book or find something resourceful to think about instead."
May 26th - 3:59AM
Stressed
Harry Potter
PG
Sprawled out across the table, Ron slept drooling over his notes. He mumbled in his sleep about evil equations and fire breathing professors between loud snoring. Studying for exams had taken it's toll on him especially with Hermione nonstop studying. Trying to pull an all night studying session was a totally flop considering the moment Harry and Hermione went to sleep he fell off to dreamland.
Waking he smacked his lips and slowly raised his head. Embedded on his forehead was a jellybean. Raising his hand to wipe his eyes he noticed the jellybean and promptly ate it.
Sleepily Ron packed his notes into his bag along with his magic taped wand. Once he cleared the table he looked up at the clock reading 3:59.
Mumbling about needing more sleep he crawled up on to the table and fell right back to sleep.
May 27th - Curse
Stupid Fairy
Ella Enchanted
PG
Prilla loathed her fairy godmother. If she ever met that hack job she'd shove that sparkly wand of hers so far down her throat that she'd be farting spells.
Being a proper lady she wasn't allowed to say the threats she darkly harnessed in her heart. She couldn't even voice the threats if wanted to anyways. That damn curse kept her from saying anything. Oh sure, the fairy mother meant if to be a charming blessing to have a voice like a lark. But when your voice is actually that of a chirping bird it seems nothing like a blessing.
May 28th - Neck
Hesitate Vampire
Original
PG
"I seriously have to bite people's neck?" Arlien asked with a whine. He sat in the dark parlor across from his father. The only light coming from the moonlight shining through the crack of the drapes.
Sighing his father answered, "Yes Jr. We're vampire and that's what we do."
Arlien Jr wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue in disgust. "But that's so disgusting. What about germs and diseases, huh?"
"We're the undead. A few germs aren't going to cause us any problems."
"But what if a person's neck is all dirty and they smell?"
"Oh so a little dirt is going to hurt the boy that decided to eat dirt?" His father rolled his eyes and had a little smirk.
"Dad," he whined, "You promised not to bring that up any more."
May 29th - Katana
Car Troubles
Inuyasha
PG
"Oh shit," Kagome said realizing her mistake all too late to the sound of the car door snapping closed. "Oh please. Oh please don't let the door be locked." She reached tentatively for the handle and yanked it only to find the car door unmoving. Cursing she ran about the car yanking on all the door handles.
"Jeez, what's all the racket about?" Inuyasha asked strolling up to the fuming Kagome.
"I locked my keys in the car." She pressed her face to the window to see the keys in the ignition like that was going to help somehow.
"You just need to get into the moving metal monster huh? Well that's easy enough. Move out of the way." Inuyasha pushed Kagome away from the car with this right arm and grabbed his katana with the other. "Keh. I'll slash right through this monster."
With a look of horror and a shriek of panic she ran to her car hugging it. "Inuyasha, sit!"
May 30th - Waltz
Dancing Death Wish
Sailor Moon
PG-13
'I'm going to die,' Mamoru thought as his girlfriend danced provocatively before him. Daring a glance over his shoulder, he saw a red faced Kenji glaring at him with clenching his fist in a threatening away. 'No, I'm going to be beaten to a pulp then die.'
"Mamo-chan," Usagi hollered over the blaring music. "You're so stiff. What's the matter?" She leaned against him grinding to the rhythm.
His face turned bright red and he didn't dare a second glance over his shoulder. "Err... Usako, don't you think you're dancing a bit too..."
"A bit too what?" She planted her hands on her hips, glaring at him.
"Well, just a tiny bit too risque. It is a school function after all..." he said rather weakly.
"So what is appropriate then? A waltz?"
Hoping beyond hope, Mamoru prayed that Usagi was sincere with her last comment. "Yes! A waltz would be prefect."
She looked at him like he was insane. "Mamo-chan... I wasn't serious."
"But just think how romantic it would be," he said preying on her heart. And with that Mamoru saved himself from a rather painful murder.
May 31st - May
Prince in Distress
Original
PG
The day that Princess Blossom decided to turn in her petticoats and dancing slippers for a sword and riding boats was the day that poor old knight, Hegwin, wished he'd retired. Hegwin had been through more perilous adventures in the few months he spent in company with the young princess than he had in his whole career as a knight.
Hegwin sighed watching the princess roughly treating the wound of a young man. She lectured the man with irritation clearly showing in her voice. "If you're going to fight against a dragon don't stand there like a dolt spewing out garbage. You're lucky he took your crown as compensation for your life."
"But you're a princess and needed saving from that beast..." the prince whispered hesitantly, a blush full blown over his face and ears. He looked over at Hegwin for backup but the elderly knight only shrugged.
"That beast happens to be a dear friend of mine, you clod." Sighing she muttered, "Why are all the cute princes such dolts?"
The prince couldn't help a charming smile spreading across his face. He thought about kissing her right there and then. It was the sort of thing that princes normally would have done but he knew she'd gladly beat him down before his lips even got close to hers. Yet somehow the challenge of it made him like her all the more. 'I'm not needed back to court until May,' he thought. 'That's plenty of time to win her over.'
May 1st - Black
A Harebrained Surprise
Sailor Moon
PG
The pink envelope looked completely out of place in the tidy masculine apartment. Yet, there it lay unopened on the table next to a half filled coffee mug. The decor’s black tones made the envelope stand out all the more.
Mamoru glazed at the envelope before him. He knew the sender even though the only words sprawled upon it were ‘Happy Birthday, Mamoru-baka’. As if addressing him as baka wasn’t obvious enough, bunny stickers covered both sides.
A slight smirk played at the corners of his mouth at her childish behavior. His right eye copied his twitching mouth but for a completely different reason. He was sure it was a ruse. But the envelope looked innocent enough, and surely nothing heinous could fit into something so small.
He quickly snatched the envelope and ripped it open revealing a birthday card. Breathing a sigh of relief, Mamoru leaned his chair back resting his feet on the table.
A brief pause of confused silence followed him opening the card; inside it was bare. Then, a blaring racket of several voices hollowing “happy birthday” erupted from the card. Startled, he jerked backwards causing the chair to slip backwards under him. Lying on the floor a battered from the fall he heard giggling emanating from the recording in the card. Now if he had seen the mug teeter tottering on edge of the table he would’ve quickly moved out of range of its hot liquid. But he never noticed the mug till too late.
May 2nd - Unicorn
Apprentice's Revenge
Original
PG
Katalya had been waiting for her moment of revenge since the moment she began her apprenticeship to Rowen, the magically creature tamer. It wasn’t that her master had treated her wickedly. Quite the opposite, in fact, he was known for his patience, good-natured attitude. It was the practical jokes that drove her to revenge and drove away all of his other apprentices.
Strolling into the field with a basket of oaks in one hand and apples in the other, she tried to appear casual and relaxed. ‘Just act normal,’ she told herself, ‘and this plan will work. Just because none of the other ones worked out doesn’t mean this one is destined to fail.’ She sighed, and then covered up the act as a yawn.
She sat down a short distance from where Rowen was walking over to tend to a bronze scaled dragon. As soon as Katalya settled the flock of unicorns pranced over to her. She stroked the unicorns’ silky mains and passed out apples while keeping watch on the dragon.
Approaching the dragon that faced away from him, Rowen heard a slight growling noise but ignored it thinking it was just the dragon’s hungry stomach. Then when he was just a few feet away the dragon suddenly lifted its tail into the air and let loose a fiery fart. He stood there wide-eyed with the tips of his hair alit as both dragon and apprentice cackled loud.
May 3rd - Funeral Home
Are You Listening?
Original
PG
“Oh, Charlie, it was so romantic how Harry proposed to Ginger,” said Stacey briefly grasping Charlie’s hand. “There they were in the middle of the busy street, glazing at one another, and… Hey, are you listening?”
He nodded slightly not looking up from the neatly folded newspaper laying in his lap.
Not believing him in the least, she decided to catch him not listening. “So there they were and suddenly this zombie came running down the street. She must have escaped from that funeral home down on Fifth Street. You know the one, don’t you?” She paused to give him a chance to react to her made-up story but he simply nodded again.
“Don’t you think that’s romantic, Charlie?” she said ready to grab his newspaper and whap him with it.
“Oh yes, that’s quite romantic.” He looked over at her with a smirk on his face. “Not every man would bring the dead back to life for a proposal.”
May 4th - Car Crash
Terror Behind the Wheel
Sailor Moon
PG-13
Haruka leaned against her car door, glaring at the man seated next to her. She had already waited 16 years for this test and now here she was stuck with a slow ass instructor. She murmured curses under her breath that were lost in the sounds of traffic.
“Ok now before you start there’s an exercise that seems to help everyone. Close your eyes and picture yourself successfully completing this test.”
Sighing in annoyance, she closed her eyes. “Is this really necessary?”
“You’ll see it’ll be a huge relief. Now first picture yourself turning on the car and driving out of the parking lot.”
Haruka pictured herself stomping on the gas and flying out of the parking lot tires squealing. The instructor screamed and held on desperately as she sharply turned out of the parking lot with the car tilting up into the air.
“Picture yourself expertly driving with the traffic.”
Her mental self was swiftly weaving in and out of traffic, laughing at the blaring horns. With the wind blowing in her hair, she pushed the car into even faster speeds.
“Lastly, remember don’t stress it. You can take this test over again.”
She winced at the thought of failing and her mental car suddenly popped a tired sending the car crashing into traffic. She opened her eyes thinking about her poor beautiful car all smashed up.
The instructor grinned smugly like he knew what she was thinking. “Yup, that exercise always helps to slow kids down somehow.”
May 5th - 666
Mr. Bunny
Original
PG
Amanda and her little sister, Sarah, sat on the couch with their legs pulled up glaring at one another. Sarah hugged a white rabbit stuffed animal protectively to her chest while Amanda tugged on its ear.
“Come on, Sarah. Just give the bunny back her little friend. Look you’re making her sad,” Amanda said point at the brown lop-eared rabbit stared at the two from across the room.
“Sad my butt. She didn’t look sad when she chased us around the room biting at our heels.” Sarah yanked the ear out of Amanda’s hand and scooted away. “That bunny is a cannibal. I’m sure she’s planning on eating my poor Mr. Bunny.”
“Eating a stuffed animal wouldn’t make her a cannibal.” To this Sarah gave her a look that clearly meant I don’t care what you say.
“She was probably the six hundred sixty-six bunny born making her pure evil.”
“A bunny can’t have that many babies and that’s not nice to say. If you’d just give her back her little friend we wouldn’t be sitting here like a bunch of ninnies. And beside-” Suddenly, Amanda grabbed the stuffed animal and threw it onto the floor taking her sister by surprise. Before her sister could so much as scream the lop rabbit zoomed over to the stuffed animal and started happily grooming the toy’s ears.
Grudgingly Sarah admitted the rabbit wasn’t a cannibal and everyone lived on happily. That is until Sarah saw Mr. Camel getting pulled under the bed by the rabbit.
May 6th - U
U.F.O.
Sailor Moon
PG
Chibi-Usa looked up from her homework with a thoughtful dazed look and scrunched her eyebrows together in puzzlement. “Hey Usagi, I have a question.”
“What is it, brat?” Usagi asked sitting down next to her.
“Are the sailor senshi U.F.Os?”
“Duh, no. U.F.O. means unidentified flying object.”
“They could be, you know. Like no one knows them so they’re unidentified. I’m pretty sure they can fly because they’re so cool and an object is just something you can see or feel. So I’m right, right?”
“Err… well I don’t think they fly. They just jump with grace but they are differently cool,” Usagi said with a cheesy grin. “I think that thing is more of a U.F.O.” She pointed at floating Luna P.
Chibi-Usa stuck her tongue out at Usagi before continuing on with her homework.
May 7th - Rainy
Just an Unevil Rainy Day
Wizard of Oz
PG
The wicked witch of the west hated rainy days. If she could have it her way water would never fall from the sky or be in buckets that lost little farm girls could easily throw. But, alas, she couldn’t get her way so she was trapped in her own fortress with very little evil to perform on this rainy day. Sure, she could spend the time wiping up a good batch of hexes and potions but after a while it got boring. She needed some real evil deeds fast.
As she paced about the hallway, changing the color of a flying monkey’s fur, she couldn’t think of a single deed. She changed it to pink. “Too sickly cute’” she muttered. Then she changed it to black. “Too cliché. Ah, I know green.” With a flick of the wrist the monkey turned green. “No, that won’t do. Now you look like you belong with those Emerald City freaks. Hm…”
The flying monkey for his part had been remaining absolutely silent. He knew he should tell her that the rain had stopped hours ago but being evil was such a pain at times.
May 8th - Soldier
A Flying Monkey’s Life
Wizard of Oz
PG
When Henry signed up to be a soldier of the wicked witch of the west he never imagined the embarrassments he’d have to face. But then again you tried not to imagine it when you were descended from a long line of winged monkeys because you were destined for soldier work for the wicked witch. The minute anyone thought of a flying monkey they thought of the wicked witch’s soldiers. The last time Henry went for a job interview at the Emerald City, the little green men screamed about the wicked witch and promptly slammed the door in his face.
He thought about hiding out in the woods more than once but there were reported sightings of lions, tigers, and bears. Henry had never met one personally but they were suppose to be ferocious. Plus, he heard that the woods weren’t set up for cable. It was bad enough that he had to life with the basic channels at the witch’s fortress.
May 9th - Porche
A Man's Treasure
Sailor Moon
PG
“Hello, Mr. Tanaka,” the psychiatrist said swiveling her chair to face the man entering the office. “Please feel free to have a seat where ever you feel comfortable.” She gestured to the chair and couch facing her desk, and once Mr. Tanaka lay upon the couch she continued. “I understand that you called my office needing an urgent session, am I correct?”
Mr. Tanaka nodded. “Neither my family or friends believe what I’m telling them is happening is true. They think I’ve lost my mind,” he said with a hint of a bitter laugh.
“Well, why don’t you explain to me what’s happening?” she said jotting notes down.
“The senshi have wagged war against my car.”
“Now when you say senshi-”
“I mean the sailor senshi and it’s not just them. Those monsters, aliens, freaky things that they fight have wagged war against my beautiful Porche too. I have proof this stuff is occurring. I have numerous police reports of deep claw gashes, lightening and fire scorch marks on the leather, and high-heeled indentions on the hood. Not only that, it was stolen once and the passenger’s side was covered in a purple goo.”
“Now Mr. Tanaka surely this is just random acts. The senshi don’t have malice toward you.”
“Well it’s kind of hard to think that when the blonde one with the weird pigtails swung that wand to finish of the monster except it flew out of her hand and went right through my Porche’s windshield.”
May 10th - Stepmother
Kodak Moment
Fruit Basket
PG-13
“Hey, Tohru come look at this picture I found,” Shigure called out barely holding in laughter. “You come here too, Kyo.”
“Coming,” Tohru called coming from the kitchen. She sat down across from where Shigure sat with his laptop on the table.
“This better not be stupid,” Kyo said gruffly sitting down at the table next to Tohru.
“What you’re about to witness is not for the faint of heart. It’s-”
“God, this is stupid,” Kyo said getting up.
“Wait, I was only having a little fun,” Shigure whined.
“Just get on with it.”
“Fine, it seems a certain female in your class had a recent trip to the hospital. Nothing major but when Yuki went there to deliver the class flowers she gave him a sob story and told him her dying wish.”
“How the hell do you know all this?”
“Her blog has become suddenly very popular. Anyways, she told him her wish was to see him in her stepmother’s Victorian dress. Then she whipped out the stepmother’s dress and this was the result.” Shigure spun the laptop around to reveal a picture of a blushing Yuki in a lacy pink Victorian dress. After a moment of stun silence, Kyo roared with laughter while Tohru awed.
May 11th - Band-Aid
Playing Doctor
Sailor Moon
PG-13
When Ami asked Urawa if he wanted to play doctor he had jumped at the opportunity. Now an hour later with both his arms wrapped in bandages, his left leg in a removable cast, and countless band-aids over his body he realized his version of doctor and her version were totally different.
“Um… Ami.”
“That’s Doctor Mizuno,” she said ripping off a band-aid.
“Ow! Ok, Doctor Mizuno this isn’t quite what I had in mind.”
“Well you should have thought of that sir before you attacked that wasp hive.”
“What?”
She sighed. “Urawa, remember you’re a patient now that was stung by wasps and I’m checking to see how the wounds are doing. I need practice interacting with patients before I start my internship.”
“I know, it’s just I thought you meant something else when you said play doctor.” A hint of a blush rose on his cheeks.
“Oh my…” Ami’s face turned red as she realized the implication and she lightly smacked Urawa on the shoulder.
May 12th - Image
A Warrior's Task
Sailor Moon
PG
Queen Neo Serenity marched purposely down the hallway within the Crystal Palace with a weapon of choice in each hand. Her crafty opponent may have chased away all others from the task but the queen had a warrior’s training to help her endure the horrors ahead.
She stopped before the closed door taking a deep breath and prepared herself to deal with the terror within. A common rumor was that her opponent’s lair was a filthy, malodorous dwelling. Placing one of her weapons under her arm, she grabbed the handle and swung open the door. Wincing at the blaring noise, she brandished her weapon at the roaring monster.
“Mom,” ChibiUsa shouted over her radio. “What are you doing?”
“I’m here to slay the filthy beast that resides here,” said Serenity lightly tapped on her daughter’s head with a feather duster. “There the beast is dead and the beautiful princess I rescued will gladly clean the lair, right?”
ChibiUsa rolled her eyes but grabbed the vacuum and feather duster out of her mother’s hands.
May 13th - Arbor Day
Seedling's Mistake
Pokemon
PG
Seedot nervously scanned the forest through the leafy branches of a shrub. The calendar next to him said today was the day he dreaded all year, Arbor Day. Sure, it was a good day for the environment but when you look like a giant tree seed and couldn’t move all that far Arbor Day just isn’t your day. Not only did he have to hide from humans that would bound up to him and plant in firmly in the ground, the celebi were over zealously zooming about looking for anything to plant.
Last time he hadn’t hid and a celebi piled a mound of dirt around him. And the year before that a little girl planted him in a flower box. But this year he would remain unplanted or at least he would have if the wind hadn’t pulled off too many date pages off the calendar the day before.
May 14th - Hockey
Jellybeans
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
PG
“And this room, children, is where we test the sports variety jellybeans,” said Willy Wonka leading the group into another room.
“So what do they taste like?” asked Charlie.
“Probably gym socks and guy’s cups,” said Violet rather nastily.
Willy spun around to face Violet. “The flavors are all regular. It’s the fact that give the eater a peticular sports talent that makes them so remarkable.” He picked up a purple jellybean from the table. “Like this one for example it’s-”
Violet grabbed the jellybean from his hand and promptly ate it.
“Hockey… As much as I would just love to a muscular brute,” Willy said mockingly, “I’m leaving this to the ooppas. Now moving on.” Willy moved on with the group as the Hulk version of Violet body checked an ooppa.
May 15th - Graveyard
Unquiet Dead
Corpse Bride
PG
Alyssa sighed wistfully as she started at the night sky from her grave. "Harold," she said tapping on the grave next to her. When only a slight grumbling could be heard, she angrily crossed her decaying arms and humphed. "Fine. Maybe I shouldn't have tried talking to you."
"No," said a male voice a couple graves away. "Maybe you shouldn't have poisoned me."
"I'm not talking to you, you old coot. I'm talking to my dear Harold. Well actually not so dear since he won't talk to me." Another groan came from Harold's grave.
Mumbling so Alyssa couldn't hear him he said, "I've had 56 years of her talking. I thought that I'd get a little quiet at least in the afterlife."
May 16th - Socks
Smelly Sock War
Original
PG
Dylan and Al, the Taylor twins, knew the dangers dirty socks possessed. Especially since they had an older jock brother, Charlie. So when they had agreed to never use to the powers of a smelly sock against each other they both had planned to keep the peace. Unfortunately, the truce only lasted an afternoon before the smelly sock war began again.
Right after school the twin came running kicking off their shoes and ran for the love sofa closest to the tv. Both of them reached the sofa at the same time colliding into each other. They both howled when they smelled each others socks. Glaring at one another, like mirror images, they ran over to Charlie sitting down in the kitchen. Each grabbed one of Charlie's socks and pushed it into the others face. Then over dramatically they gagged and gasped for air before pretending to be dead.
Charlie rolled his eyes, "You two are so weird."
May 17th - "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton
Jinx
Harry Potter
PG
The Weasley twins grinned wolfishly as they watched the magic hexed pill dissolved into the pitcher of pumpkin juice. They had spent a great many hours perfecting the hex and then many more researching muggle songs to find just the right one. They almost howled with laughter picturing everyone at dinner singing Unbreak My Heart by the muggle Toni Braxton and dancing to it.
Their mother called for them to bring the juice to the living room and they happily complied hiding different mugs under their sweaters. The pitcher floated around filling everyone's cups.
"Wait a moment," said Hermione stopping Ron and Harry from drinking. "I think you two should drink first."
With a smug look the twins guzzled their pumpkin juice. Soon afterward they were yelling at one another between belching the song and pelvic thrusting to the song.
May 18th - Weeping Willow
Research
Naruto
PG-13
Seated comfortably underneath a weeping willow Jiraiya conducted his "research" for novels. He chuckled as he watched the monitor screen before him. Never before had be used technology to aid him seeing it was an unwanted crutch. Besides he almost never was caught and seeing the ladies for himself was much more rewarding.
Jiraiya sighed wishing he could see the beauties on the screen in person. Sadly for him he was constantly getting thwarted by that pesky Naruto.
Ignoring his thoughts he turned his attention back to the screen. No use wasting time after all. When he looked back at the screen the girls were gone and a man the size of a sumo walked into the pond. The man's fleshy body jiggling as he moved. Jiraiya howled in disgust and muttered curses.
Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to be a pervert hermit.
May 19th - Cyborg
Prank
Teen Titans
PG
Raven walked down the hallway engrossed in a spell book. As she passed Cyborg's room she noticed the doorway wide open. She glanced up quickly but turned her full attention to the room when she saw Beast Boy sneaking up on the snoring Cyborg.
"Ah... Beast Boy?"
Beast Boy looked up in alarm and motioned for her to be quiet. Closing her book, she gave him an irritated look but kept quiet.
He proceeded closer spraying whipped cream into Cyborg's hand. Then softly chuckling he gave the thumbs up to Raven who just rolled her eyes at him. Turning one of his fingers into a feather he tickled Cyborg's nose and was rewarded with Cyborg's creamed hand smeared it all over his face.
Beast Boy dragged Raven away from the screaming Cyborg laughing as he ran.
May 20th - Jungle
First Day of School
Original
PG
"Sarah, are you ready yet?" Sarah's mom called to her. "You're going to be late for your first day of school if you don't hurry.
"Coming mommy," she called back running down the stairs. Reaching the last stair she threw her arms in the air with a "ta da" and showed off the outfit she'd picked out. She was dressed in a floral bathing suit and a pink too-too with the crown from her Pretty, Pretty Princess game. Sarah's hair was tangled and frizzed with hair clips all over.
"You look like you're ready to be a jungle girl. Not ready to go to school silly."
Giggling she said, "I wish school was a jungle, mommy. I'd be the best jungle girl ever." She spread her feet apart and gave her best Tarzan pose."
May 21st - Fear
Fearless King
Sailor Moon
PG
King Endymion entered the room with a stony face to hide his fear. He knew the horrible agony he'd have to go through and marveled in the strength his wife had to endure this regularly. The brave king would happily face any enemy instead of changing his darling baby's diaper.
Ok, just breath, he coached himself. Wait no. Hold your breath.
He looked back over his shoulder at the group of grinning woman jeering and laughing at him. Sighing, he gave a little wave and what he hoped was a brave smile.
Approaching his laughing baby he cringed and felt his eyebrow twitch. "You just love torturing your daddy, don't you small lady?" he cooed in an overly sweet voice.
May 22nd - Painting
Masterpiece
Sailor Moon
PG
Small Lady sat before the clean white wall with her fingerpaints next to her. Her aunty Michiru had given her a beautiful set of colors for her fourth birthday the day before and now she was itching to make something beautiful with them. But the picture would have to be something big, the little papers she was suppose to paint on would never do.
She heard her papa calling out for her and giggled. Her poor papa was never good at hide and seek.
Dipping her hands into the bright yellow paint she doodled little designs on the wall and continued until ever color was used. Then giggling she covered herself in the paint to match the wall. Only when she was done did she call out for her papa to see her masterpiece.
May 23rd - "The Highway Man" by Alfred Noyes
Stupid
Inuyasha
PG
"Hey Kagome," called Inuyasha leaping on top of her desk. Ignoring him Kagome kept reading the piece of paper before her. "Hey," he pointed her forehead trying to get her attention.
"What is it, Inuyasha?" Kagome said clearly irritated.
"What's keeping you? We need to get back."
"I need to finish memorizing The Highway Man first." She gave him a little push to get him off her desk. Not moving in the least he grabbed the paper from her.
"It looks stupid."
"It's not stupid, Inuyasha. It's a love tragedy. The girl sacrifices her life to warn him that his enemies have captured her and then he-"
"That's so stupid. If the girl was so weak he shouldn't have left her alone. If he was a real man he'd destroy is enemies with a single blow just like this." He grabbed his sword and swung it chopping her bed in half.
"Inuyasha..."
"Oh boy," he said trying to scramble away from Kagome.
"Sit boy!"
May 24th - "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." - William Penn
Wasting Summer
Original
PG
"I can't wait until school is over," Amy said slumping over her desk. "I don't think I can take anymore learning."
"I think we should just run out of here now. I know we can make it if we try. All the adults are old and out of shape," mused Amy's friend, Linda.
"Yeah but then we'd have to move and it's too hot," whined Tina fanning herself.
"You know I want summer to come just so I can waste it away being lazy. Doesn't sleeping in and being a couch potato sound great?"
"Yeah," Linda said with a sigh.
"Three whole months of pure laziness sounds like heaven."
"Well girls," said their teacher coming up behind them, "keep dreaming. You've got two more weeks of pure work."
All three girls whined while the teacher chuckled.
May 25th - Knife
Mr. Fork and Ms. Spoon
Original
PG
"What is a knife?" Sam asked his sister while setting the table.
"Duh. It's a utensil," she said snotty.
Sam rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. You know a spoon seems like a girl and a fork is like a boy so what does that make a fork?"
Violet stared at her bother like he was insane. "You're quite serious, aren't you?"
"Aren't I always serious? No, don't answer that. So what do you think it is?"
"Um... confused?"
"Oh that's really helpful."
"You know your theory of Mr. Fork and Ms. Spoon doesn't work because there's sporks."
"Think about a spork is a fork and spoon so what would that make it? Hm...."
Violet wrinkled her nose. "You really need to pick up a book or find something resourceful to think about instead."
May 26th - 3:59AM
Stressed
Harry Potter
PG
Sprawled out across the table, Ron slept drooling over his notes. He mumbled in his sleep about evil equations and fire breathing professors between loud snoring. Studying for exams had taken it's toll on him especially with Hermione nonstop studying. Trying to pull an all night studying session was a totally flop considering the moment Harry and Hermione went to sleep he fell off to dreamland.
Waking he smacked his lips and slowly raised his head. Embedded on his forehead was a jellybean. Raising his hand to wipe his eyes he noticed the jellybean and promptly ate it.
Sleepily Ron packed his notes into his bag along with his magic taped wand. Once he cleared the table he looked up at the clock reading 3:59.
Mumbling about needing more sleep he crawled up on to the table and fell right back to sleep.
May 27th - Curse
Stupid Fairy
Ella Enchanted
PG
Prilla loathed her fairy godmother. If she ever met that hack job she'd shove that sparkly wand of hers so far down her throat that she'd be farting spells.
Being a proper lady she wasn't allowed to say the threats she darkly harnessed in her heart. She couldn't even voice the threats if wanted to anyways. That damn curse kept her from saying anything. Oh sure, the fairy mother meant if to be a charming blessing to have a voice like a lark. But when your voice is actually that of a chirping bird it seems nothing like a blessing.
May 28th - Neck
Hesitate Vampire
Original
PG
"I seriously have to bite people's neck?" Arlien asked with a whine. He sat in the dark parlor across from his father. The only light coming from the moonlight shining through the crack of the drapes.
Sighing his father answered, "Yes Jr. We're vampire and that's what we do."
Arlien Jr wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue in disgust. "But that's so disgusting. What about germs and diseases, huh?"
"We're the undead. A few germs aren't going to cause us any problems."
"But what if a person's neck is all dirty and they smell?"
"Oh so a little dirt is going to hurt the boy that decided to eat dirt?" His father rolled his eyes and had a little smirk.
"Dad," he whined, "You promised not to bring that up any more."
May 29th - Katana
Car Troubles
Inuyasha
PG
"Oh shit," Kagome said realizing her mistake all too late to the sound of the car door snapping closed. "Oh please. Oh please don't let the door be locked." She reached tentatively for the handle and yanked it only to find the car door unmoving. Cursing she ran about the car yanking on all the door handles.
"Jeez, what's all the racket about?" Inuyasha asked strolling up to the fuming Kagome.
"I locked my keys in the car." She pressed her face to the window to see the keys in the ignition like that was going to help somehow.
"You just need to get into the moving metal monster huh? Well that's easy enough. Move out of the way." Inuyasha pushed Kagome away from the car with this right arm and grabbed his katana with the other. "Keh. I'll slash right through this monster."
With a look of horror and a shriek of panic she ran to her car hugging it. "Inuyasha, sit!"
May 30th - Waltz
Dancing Death Wish
Sailor Moon
PG-13
'I'm going to die,' Mamoru thought as his girlfriend danced provocatively before him. Daring a glance over his shoulder, he saw a red faced Kenji glaring at him with clenching his fist in a threatening away. 'No, I'm going to be beaten to a pulp then die.'
"Mamo-chan," Usagi hollered over the blaring music. "You're so stiff. What's the matter?" She leaned against him grinding to the rhythm.
His face turned bright red and he didn't dare a second glance over his shoulder. "Err... Usako, don't you think you're dancing a bit too..."
"A bit too what?" She planted her hands on her hips, glaring at him.
"Well, just a tiny bit too risque. It is a school function after all..." he said rather weakly.
"So what is appropriate then? A waltz?"
Hoping beyond hope, Mamoru prayed that Usagi was sincere with her last comment. "Yes! A waltz would be prefect."
She looked at him like he was insane. "Mamo-chan... I wasn't serious."
"But just think how romantic it would be," he said preying on her heart. And with that Mamoru saved himself from a rather painful murder.
May 31st - May
Prince in Distress
Original
PG
The day that Princess Blossom decided to turn in her petticoats and dancing slippers for a sword and riding boats was the day that poor old knight, Hegwin, wished he'd retired. Hegwin had been through more perilous adventures in the few months he spent in company with the young princess than he had in his whole career as a knight.
Hegwin sighed watching the princess roughly treating the wound of a young man. She lectured the man with irritation clearly showing in her voice. "If you're going to fight against a dragon don't stand there like a dolt spewing out garbage. You're lucky he took your crown as compensation for your life."
"But you're a princess and needed saving from that beast..." the prince whispered hesitantly, a blush full blown over his face and ears. He looked over at Hegwin for backup but the elderly knight only shrugged.
"That beast happens to be a dear friend of mine, you clod." Sighing she muttered, "Why are all the cute princes such dolts?"
The prince couldn't help a charming smile spreading across his face. He thought about kissing her right there and then. It was the sort of thing that princes normally would have done but he knew she'd gladly beat him down before his lips even got close to hers. Yet somehow the challenge of it made him like her all the more. 'I'm not needed back to court until May,' he thought. 'That's plenty of time to win her over.'