The Good Old Ways...

[misfit_syndrome]

Someone can miss something so much, even if it's only an idea. Lately, I've been missing things so much, to such an extreme level, that it feels overwhelming at some points, like I'm falling into a hole in the ground, or even like I'm simply falling into the ground. It's getting difficult to eat now, I'll be hungry but my throat will always be constricted. It's becoming more of a struggle, even just with something like noodles. My body's continually tense, I can feel it all the time. I wish I could relax, but I can't, it just seems beyond my abilities at this point. And now, for the last few nights, it's been extremely difficult to sleep. It's taking about an hour (at least) in order for my mind to actually give in to exhaustion. My mind's just really...distracted, I guess. In the mall today, I did something I haven't done in months. As I walked around, I practically grated my tongue on my canine teeth. Malls make me so anxious for some reason. Everything's degrading back to the way it was.

Smile big, laugh loud, and hope nobody bothers to look past it.

The good old ways...