(no subject)
Title: The stuff that oozes from my ears. Rating: Teen. Characters: Sam, Dean, Ruby, Cas, and John. Summary : Random, crack filled drabble. With the titles:
A certain website// Dean promised when Sam was taller...,// Death, by Wincest// Angry Cas// Sam and Dean Visit a fanfic site// Family Name Sake// The Smurfs do good work// Beddy bye night night// Sibling rivalry// Last Nerve// Creepy drag queen// The Orders// A Swallowing Whore // Parental consent// Eat it Twilight
Here some drabble that leaked out my ears.
Some have wincest, some don't.
A certain website
Dean's eye bugged out as he looked at laptop's screen,“ SammySAM!!! You got to come see this!!”
Sam walks over and looked overhis brother's shoulder, his face drops.“ Dude, I so don’t what tosee that. And don’t look at those kinda sites on my computer!”
“ Relax man, I didn’t meanto, I was trying to research-“
“ Oh really? I can seethat. So what were you trying to search for?”
“ I digging around on thishunch, so I typed in Asian legends-“
“ And you got BUSTY ASIANBEAUTIES?”
“ yea… Sweet huh?”
“ Their not even that hot.”
“ Awe! Is Samantha jealous?All upset that they are hotter then you.”
“ Pst, they only wish” Samturns and walks away, going back to his business.
Dean clicks and a video startsto play, moans coning out speaker. The Winchester cocks his head andsmirks, “ Awesome!”
Dean promisedwhen Sam was taller...
“Dude, you promised.”
“ I don’t care it is so notgoing to happen!!”
“ But Dean, you promised! Amans nothing but his word.”
“ Oh come on I was 17, Ididn’t mean it. I said it just to shut you up.”
“ Dean … come on I swearsnot that bad. I’ll give you pie?”
“ No Sam!”
“… How are you going tostop?”
“ Sam… no SAM… AHH”
“ What the hell was thatSam?”
“That? Your prostate.”
“Huh… I want my pie”
“ I’ll get you, yourpie…whore”
“ Hey, I preferred to be calla working woman.”
Death, by Wincest
“Sam, I realized I die. A lot!”
“ Yea, you do.”
“ Huh.”
“ You know, you die daily.”
“ COME ON, I DO NOT.”
“ No, hear me out Dean. Youdie daily cause during a climax, your heart stops, and you stopbreathing.”
“ Dude, again with the weirdass facts. ~~ Wait a minute… YOU, MURDERER!”
“ Hey, you kill me to.”
Angry Cas
This was inspired by a fanart. Can be seen at at this address
http://littledarlingeve./art/SPN-Doodles-124698419
“ Ruby, you are a whore.”
“ Excuse me, angelman.”
“ You are a whore, an oldfashioned wrench. Intiesing Sam Winchester, with the temptation offlesh and your toxic blood!”
“ At least I can get my man.You're just all wound up cause you can't get your rocks off.”
“ What do you mean by that?”
“ Getting your rocks off-”
“ I understand your referenceof sexual gratification. It is the “ Get my man” term that I'mquestioning about.”
“ You think I haven't noticedyou watching Dean.”
“ That is my orders.”
“ And you don't mind doing itat all, do you?..... Maybe I should slip on a little blond waitress,so you can watch him do a demon.”
“Bitch, I will SMITE YOU!!”
Sam and Dean Visit afanfic site
After “Monster at the end of the book.”
Dean and Sam are looking over aSlashfic site.
“Hahawa, right? Like I wouldever let you do that.”
“ Like I would want to,that’s just gross!”
“Come on, Dean. I have seeyou pie with Zombie guts all over your face.”
“ Hey, that was damn goodpie.”
“ Whatever. ~~ Hey, but wedid do that. ~~ And that!?”
“ Does this seem like daivgauto you?”
“ Yea, just a bit. I’ll seewho the author is…. TheNEWnewtestament.”
“Chuck!”
“That asshole! This stuff ispersonal!”
“Archangel or no Archangel,I’m going to kick his ass!!”
Family Name Sake
Spoilers to “in the beginning of time.”
“ So, Dean, let me get this straight? Dad almost got a Van instead of the impala?”
“ I know, man it gave me thehe-bee-gyves.”
“ And Mom was a hunter?”
“ Yea, she was good to,almost able to kick my ass.”
“That's not that hard.”
“Bitch.”
“Mama whipped”
“....”
“ So I was named after ourgrandpa?”
“ Yea, and he was more of adick then Dad”
“Whoa...”
“Yup.”
“ So what was Grandma'sname?”
“....”
“...Dean..?”
“Deana- her name was, Deana.”
“ Your named after a woman?”
“Hey, that's our blood you'retalking about.”
“But come on it's funny.”
“ You laugh and I beat your ass!”
“Aww you don't mean it.You're just 'PMS'ing.”
“ SHUT UP SAM!”
The Smuffs do good work
During the frist ep.
Sam and Dean are driving in theImpala.
“ So what do you think ofJess?”
“ She's blond... you do meproud, Sammy.”
“ So- any woman in yourlife.”
“ Always, but tell me aboutJess.”
“What do you want to know?”
"Are they real?"
"“Dean! Really?”
“ Hey, a brother's got to know.”P>
“... Well no they are not.”
“ WHAT THE FUCK!! Really,dude? You snagged a girl with a boob job.. hot. Do they feel lumpy?”
“ Dean, shut up!”
“ Aww come on, where's theharm.”
“....”
“ Ahh the smurfs do goodwork.”
Beddy bye night night
Sam is lying in bed, unable to sleep. So he throws a pillow atDean's face.
“ Hey, do you want to play agame?”
“ If you get all jigsaw on meI will be forced to nuggy you.”
“ Please I cant sleep.”
“ Fine Sammy what do you havein mind”
“ Are you nervous?”
“ Sam, we have played that asmuch as we can. We know where that we go.”
“ So??”
“ I just emptied my nuts withyou an hour ago. I'm not superman.”
“ … truth or dare?”
“Same problem.”
“ Have you ever?”
“ I know everything aboutyou.”
“ No you don't”
“ Do have to prove myself,and get you all embarrassed?”
“ I spy?”
“ Go to bed Sam.”
Sibling rivalry
Minor spoilers for season 5.
“That Becky girl had the hotsfor you, Sammy boy.”
“ Yea and?”
“ You should tap that.”
“Dude!”
“ Come, on get a littlegroupie action...it will do you a world of good.”
“Jerk.”
“Bitch.”
“ Your just jealous that Ihave more fans then you.”
“ Seems like College boy isbad with math. That was one girl.”
“ But she the biggest fan,that why Chuck chose her.”
“ We are so goingsettle this. What did she say her penname was.”
“ Uhhh, samlicker.”
“ Kinky, ah here it is...holy crap.”
“ 'then I don't want to beright...' HUH.”
“ I guess she likes us both...equally.”
“Dean, this is horrible.”
“ Well duh, I would never letyou near little dean.”
“ I mean the writing, it's soforced. Unnatural.”
“ Really Sam that's what youfind unnatural about this.”
Last Nerve
Sam is the back of the Impala trying to sleep.
“Sam.. sammy ..Sam..SAmmmyy…. SAMM. SA-mmyyy. Sammy Winchester. WINchester
.. WINCHESTER.Win-CHEST-er.”
“ WHAT DEAN!!!.”
“ I love you.”
“ I hate you so much.”
Creepy drag queen
Dean wakes up screaming, clutching the sheets.
“AHHHHH”
“DEAN, what, what’swrong!!”
“*pants* Bad- dream.. Midgetclowns, scary ass shit.”
“…Really,Dean?”
“ Hey that’s creepy shit.Sam, how would you know?”
“…”
“ NO!”
“ College is a crazy thing,stuff goes down.”
‘ But you HATE clowns?”
“ They were trying to help meget over it…”
“ But you even more scared ofthem know then when a kid?”
“ I didn’t realize theywere a guy till half way through.”
The Orders
“Dean...?”
' But we are brother.”
“ Sooo? I need you.”
“ Sammy, oh god yes!“
“Mmm, Dean”
“ * BAM* No Sammy we can't!”
“OWWW!!!”
“ Oh Sammy I need you!”
“ OK Dean what the fuck? Youall over the place. One moment you want me, next you punch me in theeye.!”
“ I'm just following thefangirl's order.”
“ WHO??”
“ I HAVE SAID TO MUCH!!!”
A Swallowing Whore
Set after Scarecrow in the first season
“Hope your apple pie, ISFREAKING WORTH IT!!”
* * *
Dean is eating happyly over astreaming apple pie.
“ Sweet playboy bunny, it isworth it!!”
“ Dean?”
“ Flying monkey man, Sam yougot to try this.!!”
“... Right, now what worthwhat.?”
“ THE PIE.. the case. * gulp*merciful mustang sally, it freaking delicious!!”
“ First stop talking like asmurfing care-bear. And secondly, seriously Dean, you almost gotgutted.”
“ Hey mhv vone vrmorss!!”
“ Shallow then talk.”
“ Hey I have done more forless.”
“ Whore.”
“ Hey I'm called a workingwoman.”
Parental consent
Things John would say if his boys were together, and heaccepted it.
Dean don’t get Sam condomsfor his birthday.
Sam stop sucking on thatlollipop in front of Dean.
OH GOD, I did not want to seethat!! Please do not use my camera to take nude picture of eachother.
DEAN, we are in public!
Ugg…put on some pants we gotto go.
Dean looks like Sam’s thetaller one now, huh.
I don’t care what the priceis we are getting two rooms!
AHHH not in the Impala I haveto sit in that.
Look I got a new truck…keepthe car.
Eat it Twilight
Spoilers for S5E3
Sam: ... Dean?
Dean: Yeah
Sam: ... how do you know aboutTwilight?
Dean: *Shifts eyes, looks atfloor*
Sam: Dean... Do you got a thingfor Edward?
Dean; NO!
Sam: then what? Who's yourTwilight crush?
Dean: No one!
Sam: Dean?
Dean: OK OK its jasper,Freaking Jasper!
Sammy tries to repress laughter... doesn't work.
A certain website// Dean promised when Sam was taller...,// Death, by Wincest// Angry Cas// Sam and Dean Visit a fanfic site// Family Name Sake// The Smurfs do good work// Beddy bye night night// Sibling rivalry// Last Nerve// Creepy drag queen// The Orders// A Swallowing Whore // Parental consent// Eat it Twilight
Here some drabble that leaked out my ears.
Some have wincest, some don't.
A certain website
Dean's eye bugged out as he looked at laptop's screen,“ SammySAM!!! You got to come see this!!”
Sam walks over and looked overhis brother's shoulder, his face drops.“ Dude, I so don’t what tosee that. And don’t look at those kinda sites on my computer!”
“ Relax man, I didn’t meanto, I was trying to research-“
“ Oh really? I can seethat. So what were you trying to search for?”
“ I digging around on thishunch, so I typed in Asian legends-“
“ And you got BUSTY ASIANBEAUTIES?”
“ yea… Sweet huh?”
“ Their not even that hot.”
“ Awe! Is Samantha jealous?All upset that they are hotter then you.”
“ Pst, they only wish” Samturns and walks away, going back to his business.
Dean clicks and a video startsto play, moans coning out speaker. The Winchester cocks his head andsmirks, “ Awesome!”
Dean promisedwhen Sam was taller...
“Dude, you promised.”
“ I don’t care it is so notgoing to happen!!”
“ But Dean, you promised! Amans nothing but his word.”
“ Oh come on I was 17, Ididn’t mean it. I said it just to shut you up.”
“ Dean … come on I swearsnot that bad. I’ll give you pie?”
“ No Sam!”
“… How are you going tostop?”
“ Sam… no SAM… AHH”
“ What the hell was thatSam?”
“That? Your prostate.”
“Huh… I want my pie”
“ I’ll get you, yourpie…whore”
“ Hey, I preferred to be calla working woman.”
Death, by Wincest
“Sam, I realized I die. A lot!”
“ Yea, you do.”
“ Huh.”
“ You know, you die daily.”
“ COME ON, I DO NOT.”
“ No, hear me out Dean. Youdie daily cause during a climax, your heart stops, and you stopbreathing.”
“ Dude, again with the weirdass facts. ~~ Wait a minute… YOU, MURDERER!”
“ Hey, you kill me to.”
Angry Cas
This was inspired by a fanart. Can be seen at at this address
http://littledarlingeve./art/SPN-Doodles-124698419
“ Ruby, you are a whore.”
“ Excuse me, angelman.”
“ You are a whore, an oldfashioned wrench. Intiesing Sam Winchester, with the temptation offlesh and your toxic blood!”
“ At least I can get my man.You're just all wound up cause you can't get your rocks off.”
“ What do you mean by that?”
“ Getting your rocks off-”
“ I understand your referenceof sexual gratification. It is the “ Get my man” term that I'mquestioning about.”
“ You think I haven't noticedyou watching Dean.”
“ That is my orders.”
“ And you don't mind doing itat all, do you?..... Maybe I should slip on a little blond waitress,so you can watch him do a demon.”
“Bitch, I will SMITE YOU!!”
Sam and Dean Visit afanfic site
After “Monster at the end of the book.”
Dean and Sam are looking over aSlashfic site.
“Hahawa, right? Like I wouldever let you do that.”
“ Like I would want to,that’s just gross!”
“Come on, Dean. I have seeyou pie with Zombie guts all over your face.”
“ Hey, that was damn goodpie.”
“ Whatever. ~~ Hey, but wedid do that. ~~ And that!?”
“ Does this seem like daivgauto you?”
“ Yea, just a bit. I’ll seewho the author is…. TheNEWnewtestament.”
“Chuck!”
“That asshole! This stuff ispersonal!”
“Archangel or no Archangel,I’m going to kick his ass!!”
Family Name Sake
Spoilers to “in the beginning of time.”
“ So, Dean, let me get this straight? Dad almost got a Van instead of the impala?”
“ I know, man it gave me thehe-bee-gyves.”
“ And Mom was a hunter?”
“ Yea, she was good to,almost able to kick my ass.”
“That's not that hard.”
“Bitch.”
“Mama whipped”
“....”
“ So I was named after ourgrandpa?”
“ Yea, and he was more of adick then Dad”
“Whoa...”
“Yup.”
“ So what was Grandma'sname?”
“....”
“...Dean..?”
“Deana- her name was, Deana.”
“ Your named after a woman?”
“Hey, that's our blood you'retalking about.”
“But come on it's funny.”
“ You laugh and I beat your ass!”
“Aww you don't mean it.You're just 'PMS'ing.”
“ SHUT UP SAM!”
The Smuffs do good work
During the frist ep.
Sam and Dean are driving in theImpala.
“ So what do you think ofJess?”
“ She's blond... you do meproud, Sammy.”
“ So- any woman in yourlife.”
“ Always, but tell me aboutJess.”
“What do you want to know?”
"Are they real?"
"“Dean! Really?”
“ Hey, a brother's got to know.”P>
“... Well no they are not.”
“ WHAT THE FUCK!! Really,dude? You snagged a girl with a boob job.. hot. Do they feel lumpy?”
“ Dean, shut up!”
“ Aww come on, where's theharm.”
“....”
“ Ahh the smurfs do goodwork.”
Beddy bye night night
Sam is lying in bed, unable to sleep. So he throws a pillow atDean's face.
“ Hey, do you want to play agame?”
“ If you get all jigsaw on meI will be forced to nuggy you.”
“ Please I cant sleep.”
“ Fine Sammy what do you havein mind”
“ Are you nervous?”
“ Sam, we have played that asmuch as we can. We know where that we go.”
“ So??”
“ I just emptied my nuts withyou an hour ago. I'm not superman.”
“ … truth or dare?”
“Same problem.”
“ Have you ever?”
“ I know everything aboutyou.”
“ No you don't”
“ Do have to prove myself,and get you all embarrassed?”
“ I spy?”
“ Go to bed Sam.”
Sibling rivalry
Minor spoilers for season 5.
“That Becky girl had the hotsfor you, Sammy boy.”
“ Yea and?”
“ You should tap that.”
“Dude!”
“ Come, on get a littlegroupie action...it will do you a world of good.”
“Jerk.”
“Bitch.”
“ Your just jealous that Ihave more fans then you.”
“ Seems like College boy isbad with math. That was one girl.”
“ But she the biggest fan,that why Chuck chose her.”
“ We are so goingsettle this. What did she say her penname was.”
“ Uhhh, samlicker.”
“ Kinky, ah here it is...holy crap.”
“ 'then I don't want to beright...' HUH.”
“ I guess she likes us both...equally.”
“Dean, this is horrible.”
“ Well duh, I would never letyou near little dean.”
“ I mean the writing, it's soforced. Unnatural.”
“ Really Sam that's what youfind unnatural about this.”
Last Nerve
Sam is the back of the Impala trying to sleep.
“Sam.. sammy ..Sam..SAmmmyy…. SAMM. SA-mmyyy. Sammy Winchester. WINchester
.. WINCHESTER.Win-CHEST-er.”
“ WHAT DEAN!!!.”
“ I love you.”
“ I hate you so much.”
Creepy drag queen
Dean wakes up screaming, clutching the sheets.
“AHHHHH”
“DEAN, what, what’swrong!!”
“*pants* Bad- dream.. Midgetclowns, scary ass shit.”
“…Really,Dean?”
“ Hey that’s creepy shit.Sam, how would you know?”
“…”
“ NO!”
“ College is a crazy thing,stuff goes down.”
‘ But you HATE clowns?”
“ They were trying to help meget over it…”
“ But you even more scared ofthem know then when a kid?”
“ I didn’t realize theywere a guy till half way through.”
The Orders
“Dean...?”
' But we are brother.”
“ Sooo? I need you.”
“ Sammy, oh god yes!“
“Mmm, Dean”
“ * BAM* No Sammy we can't!”
“OWWW!!!”
“ Oh Sammy I need you!”
“ OK Dean what the fuck? Youall over the place. One moment you want me, next you punch me in theeye.!”
“ I'm just following thefangirl's order.”
“ WHO??”
“ I HAVE SAID TO MUCH!!!”
A Swallowing Whore
Set after Scarecrow in the first season
“Hope your apple pie, ISFREAKING WORTH IT!!”
* * *
Dean is eating happyly over astreaming apple pie.
“ Sweet playboy bunny, it isworth it!!”
“ Dean?”
“ Flying monkey man, Sam yougot to try this.!!”
“... Right, now what worthwhat.?”
“ THE PIE.. the case. * gulp*merciful mustang sally, it freaking delicious!!”
“ First stop talking like asmurfing care-bear. And secondly, seriously Dean, you almost gotgutted.”
“ Hey mhv vone vrmorss!!”
“ Shallow then talk.”
“ Hey I have done more forless.”
“ Whore.”
“ Hey I'm called a workingwoman.”
Parental consent
Things John would say if his boys were together, and heaccepted it.
Dean don’t get Sam condomsfor his birthday.
Sam stop sucking on thatlollipop in front of Dean.
OH GOD, I did not want to seethat!! Please do not use my camera to take nude picture of eachother.
DEAN, we are in public!
Ugg…put on some pants we gotto go.
Dean looks like Sam’s thetaller one now, huh.
I don’t care what the priceis we are getting two rooms!
AHHH not in the Impala I haveto sit in that.
Look I got a new truck…keepthe car.
Eat it Twilight
Spoilers for S5E3
Sam: ... Dean?
Dean: Yeah
Sam: ... how do you know aboutTwilight?
Dean: *Shifts eyes, looks atfloor*
Sam: Dean... Do you got a thingfor Edward?
Dean; NO!
Sam: then what? Who's yourTwilight crush?
Dean: No one!
Sam: Dean?
Dean: OK OK its jasper,Freaking Jasper!
Sammy tries to repress laughter... doesn't work.