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[misery_company]

PierLights721: this is why i dont talk to you
PierLights721: you don't understand
PierLights721: at all

I HEAR IT EVERY MONTH? YOU DONT THINK I KNOW!

Comments

.:.

[anonymous]

Unless you've lived a day in my shoes you won't understand. I know your life's tough as well, but you get converse sneakers and wendy's chicken nuggets. I have to wait four weeks before I can get sneakers. I just have had a shitty life, I've been robbed of the most sentimental things I'd owned, I've had to move A LOT and make new friends each time and make something of myself each time. I've had to be the backbone of my family because without my support my mom and I would both be dead now. I have a lot of shit going on in my head as well. Maybe I'm mentally insane and need to be shot in the head. Either way I cry every night, I want to kill someone every day (I don't because I'd go to jail and thats just plain mean), and I want to die every minute. I woke up this morning thinking "hm, maybe today will be different, maybe I'll be happy" and I was for about an hour then things fucked up again. So I do try to be happy, I really do. I want more than anything to just be happy! But God just doesn't want that for me. If he's testing me, I've sure as hell gotten plenty of A's and he needs to back off with all these tests! Ok, so some people have cancer and know they will die. Well, there's a fine line between happiness and depression, and my depression is right with those cancer patients. They have a different problem then I do, but we're both suffering the same. I feel like I'm dieing every day. But, the thing is, they actually get treatment and many walk away, and those that don't, well they escape it too, they die! Me? It's a continuous stuggle day after day after day. And it won't go away! There is no deadline or escape! So, in a way, my life is worse than cancerous peoples.
Wonder why I write so much and "have a more hard-rock style" than you do (you told me that yesterday)? Because I have so much shit packed in my mind, so much poison, that if I didn't write it down, I'd go insane and jump off a cliff. I really would.
Well, I've taken up enough room in your journal.

Re: .:.

[misery_company]

well let me start off by saying you can take up as much space in my LJ as you want.

secondly, i really love ya mooshka, and im just really frustated because i want you to be happy. i guess i do kinda have a better life than you do. i haven't had to move numerous times. my parents haven't split up, i dont go through every day wishing i could die or kill someone. let's just say it sucks to be both of us ok?

and dont say we wont get famous. i'll sleep my way to the top if i have to. :D

Re: .:.

[anonymous]

Don't go all Paris Hilton on me, now. No sleeping your way to fame.

I know you want me to be happy but there's nothing you can do. You wonder why I don't talk a lot and get offline a lot. You may be talking about Hanson and how hot Zac is, but over here I'm thinking of how we're going to get the rent paid and whether or not I'll have a place to live in a few weeks.
Both our lives do suck. I will say that. But you have such a free mind and room to dream. I envy you because of that. I'd give anything to have dreams and know they'll come true.
Ttyl lylas Marshmallow

Never stop dreamin'