(no subject)
I just read some of the most "emo" livejournal entries ever. Some people have no appreciation for the good things in life. I find myself wondering how people got so god damn blind. It's all just a facade for them, its impossible for these people to not smile at least once on a daily basis. Can't you just open your eyes, at least the sun is shinning.
It's hard to believe its been almost a year since my life was rocked by a horrible chain of events.
But I'm so proud of myself, not to boast, but look where I am now. Sure I cried, sure I begged for something different, but here I am, standing tall and strong. I'm in college, I'm living the dream that some people never get to. Sure it was a struggle to this point, but I'm not letting anyone down, and I'm doing this for me. and for her. and for her.
Yeah, I think about where Id be if things hadn't happened quite like this. And yeah, I wish she was still around and could see me and where I've gotten. I wish the cancer hadn't come, and I wish mom-mom didn't panic. But, someones watching over me, and she can see me from whatever realm she is in. And I'm taking her with me whereever I go.
I wouldn't take back anything, not even the cancer. Look how much we've all grown? She's doing just fine, and she's the strongest fucking women in this world. Not once have a heard her seriously complain about this holding back or ruining her life. Not like all these people who take life for granted. TAKE LIFE BY THE HANDLES, YOU'RE IN CONTROL OF HOW YOU LIVE OUT WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN.
----
Don't get me wrong, I do cry still. I still ask why she was taken from me. I still ask why Duane's life was taken away from him. I still ask what is coming next. I still ask that the cancer stays away this time. I still ask why the one I loved couldn't stay that way. I still ask if there is more to this existence? I still ask God to show me his face if he's there. I still ask myself why I even ask "God", a mythical creature, any questions. And then I smile.
Death is a part of life. I don't have to accept it, and I don't think I ever will. But I cherish my time with the ones I love and the ones who love me. And I think I'm going to be alright. I don't need a higher being. I've got myself and my family and friends at my back. I'm living the life. It may not be what you envy, but it should be. I'm happy.
As for love, maybe I won't find it again. I'm only so old, only so young. I've got my time to find someone again, or for someone to find me. I'll be waiting, but I won't be looking.
Happy Tuesday,
I have a 8 page paper to write.
♥ peace!
It's hard to believe its been almost a year since my life was rocked by a horrible chain of events.
But I'm so proud of myself, not to boast, but look where I am now. Sure I cried, sure I begged for something different, but here I am, standing tall and strong. I'm in college, I'm living the dream that some people never get to. Sure it was a struggle to this point, but I'm not letting anyone down, and I'm doing this for me. and for her. and for her.
Yeah, I think about where Id be if things hadn't happened quite like this. And yeah, I wish she was still around and could see me and where I've gotten. I wish the cancer hadn't come, and I wish mom-mom didn't panic. But, someones watching over me, and she can see me from whatever realm she is in. And I'm taking her with me whereever I go.
I wouldn't take back anything, not even the cancer. Look how much we've all grown? She's doing just fine, and she's the strongest fucking women in this world. Not once have a heard her seriously complain about this holding back or ruining her life. Not like all these people who take life for granted. TAKE LIFE BY THE HANDLES, YOU'RE IN CONTROL OF HOW YOU LIVE OUT WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN.
----
Don't get me wrong, I do cry still. I still ask why she was taken from me. I still ask why Duane's life was taken away from him. I still ask what is coming next. I still ask that the cancer stays away this time. I still ask why the one I loved couldn't stay that way. I still ask if there is more to this existence? I still ask God to show me his face if he's there. I still ask myself why I even ask "God", a mythical creature, any questions. And then I smile.
Death is a part of life. I don't have to accept it, and I don't think I ever will. But I cherish my time with the ones I love and the ones who love me. And I think I'm going to be alright. I don't need a higher being. I've got myself and my family and friends at my back. I'm living the life. It may not be what you envy, but it should be. I'm happy.
As for love, maybe I won't find it again. I'm only so old, only so young. I've got my time to find someone again, or for someone to find me. I'll be waiting, but I won't be looking.
Happy Tuesday,
I have a 8 page paper to write.
♥ peace!