"Throw Up" Post
I am calling this my Throw Up Post because I have about 1/2 a dozen really long, detailed posts that I want to/need to make, but don't have the time or energy. So, I'm just throwing everything up right here, right now, in a (very) condensed version.
1) My Mother's Day was....nice. I loved everything from my kids and husband. Madeline made me a great card and I got a pop-sickle stick picture frame w/ her pic in it. Harrison gave me a DAY AT THE SPA! and Jason gave me a certificate good for a foot rub every week for a year. Yippe! Downside of it was having to be away from home all day at my grandmothers and then my dads. Harrison didn't get to nap, I didn't get to relax, and I had a vulvodynia flare from hell. Bleh.
2) My Dad sent me an email last night. He first thanked me for bringing the fam over and then goes on to say that 1)I'm too hard on Madeline (Which I do agree with to a point and I have been really trying to lighten up with her.) and 2) He does not approve of my fam's "lifestyle"...meaning vegetarian. He's worried that we're taking it too far and thinks that we're going to ruin the kids' life because, get this, THEY'RE GOING TO BE PICKED ON! Um, what the fuck? Do you think I'm going to go against my entire system of spiritual beliefs because I don't want my kids to "get picked on" for not eating dead animals?? Kids get picked on. It happens. If they get picked on for not eating meat they will deal with it, just like I had to deal with getting picked on for having big teeth and hairy arms. Bleh. I keep going over my email response in my head, but still don't know what to say to him.
3) Temple was extra special yesterday. We had our English Darma talk before the service and Thay (and Jason) both had some great points. I love it there. I love how I feel surrounded by the Sanga. I love how I feel inside when I'm chanting. I love my friends at the temple and I love how much easier life has become for me since I've started following the ways of the Buddha. I NEVER though I would say this, but my life is growing more and more spiritual and I just can't get over how peaceful it's made me...though this current post may not exactly reflect that....
4) I'm getting on the pill. Jason and I (well, mostly I) have made the choice to not have any more kids. I have been thinking hard and long about this and I am really happy with what I have right now. My two children are amazing and I don't really think that I need/want any more. We plan on looking into adopting a child (not an infant) a few years from now once I get settled into my new job and we're a little more stable. But as far as getting pregnant again...I'm done. And it's not that I don't love my baby and didn't love my pregnancy because I certainly did. But it was really hard on me to be pregnant...and having a newborn is something I do without ever going through again. My body just isn't up for another round. And I think that adopting an older child is one of the most compassionate things that Jason and I could do for the world, so that's the direction we're going to go in.
Ok. I feel slightly better now that it's all out there.
1) My Mother's Day was....nice. I loved everything from my kids and husband. Madeline made me a great card and I got a pop-sickle stick picture frame w/ her pic in it. Harrison gave me a DAY AT THE SPA! and Jason gave me a certificate good for a foot rub every week for a year. Yippe! Downside of it was having to be away from home all day at my grandmothers and then my dads. Harrison didn't get to nap, I didn't get to relax, and I had a vulvodynia flare from hell. Bleh.
2) My Dad sent me an email last night. He first thanked me for bringing the fam over and then goes on to say that 1)I'm too hard on Madeline (Which I do agree with to a point and I have been really trying to lighten up with her.) and 2) He does not approve of my fam's "lifestyle"...meaning vegetarian. He's worried that we're taking it too far and thinks that we're going to ruin the kids' life because, get this, THEY'RE GOING TO BE PICKED ON! Um, what the fuck? Do you think I'm going to go against my entire system of spiritual beliefs because I don't want my kids to "get picked on" for not eating dead animals?? Kids get picked on. It happens. If they get picked on for not eating meat they will deal with it, just like I had to deal with getting picked on for having big teeth and hairy arms. Bleh. I keep going over my email response in my head, but still don't know what to say to him.
3) Temple was extra special yesterday. We had our English Darma talk before the service and Thay (and Jason) both had some great points. I love it there. I love how I feel surrounded by the Sanga. I love how I feel inside when I'm chanting. I love my friends at the temple and I love how much easier life has become for me since I've started following the ways of the Buddha. I NEVER though I would say this, but my life is growing more and more spiritual and I just can't get over how peaceful it's made me...though this current post may not exactly reflect that....
4) I'm getting on the pill. Jason and I (well, mostly I) have made the choice to not have any more kids. I have been thinking hard and long about this and I am really happy with what I have right now. My two children are amazing and I don't really think that I need/want any more. We plan on looking into adopting a child (not an infant) a few years from now once I get settled into my new job and we're a little more stable. But as far as getting pregnant again...I'm done. And it's not that I don't love my baby and didn't love my pregnancy because I certainly did. But it was really hard on me to be pregnant...and having a newborn is something I do without ever going through again. My body just isn't up for another round. And I think that adopting an older child is one of the most compassionate things that Jason and I could do for the world, so that's the direction we're going to go in.
Ok. I feel slightly better now that it's all out there.