Seriously? (House, M.D, humor)
Title: Seriously?
Pairing: none. But H/W if you squint?
Warning: hilarity.
Disclaimer: not mine owow.
Summary: A short little thing. Some good old fashioned Wilson-bashing. Should be read while, before, or after seeing this, hockypocky.livejournal.com/4058.html, by hockypocky.
“So Wilson. How long’s it been since you had a girl in your apartment?” Wilson glanced over at House across the cafeteria table.
“And I don’t mean the girl that comes over and helps you do things like eat and go to the bathroom, she’s just there for the volunteer hours. I mean like a real…”
House cupped his hands over his chest and squeezed the air, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Girl.”
“Uhhh… Well House I don’t think that’s any of your business. Especially when Chase is sitting right there.” Wilson gestured emphatically to his right.
“Chase is a big boy, he can handle a little adult talk.” Chase snickered a little, but stayed silent.
“I only ask because of what I found in your dresser drawers this morning.”
“House! Just because you happen to be living with me doesn’t mean you can invade my personal space and go through my things!”
“Ah, but your space is already invaded, whether you like it or not. Your drawers are my drawers. And aren’t you the least bit interesting in what I found?”
Eyes downcast, starting to blush, Wilson stared at his food. “No.”
“Are you sure? They’re pink, they’re lacy, and I believe the commercial term for them is… boy shorts?”
Wilson’s eyes grew as big as saucers, but he still didn’t look up. House grinned, picking up his coffee with both hands and peering over it in satisfaction. Chase leaned in and sat his chin in the palm of his hand.
“You’ve got girly undies, Wilson? Seriously?”
The humiliated oncologist buried his stove hot face in his hands and tried not to hyperventilate. He shot out a foot under the table, kicking House’s ankle. He was going to kill him when they got home.