(no subject)
One and a half hours before my deadline for a work thing, and I've been procrastinating this thing past two extensions already. The problem is I've been feeling so much better since Thursday, so now when I confront this thing (in which a traumatic incident occurred) a familiar blackness begins to descend upon me, and I don't want to open this thing. Self-harm thoughts get louder and begin to dampen my recent hard-won optimism. So I procrastinate longer. I can probably barf this out in an hour and click send at midnight. I just hope it doesn't reopen the gates of hell.
I must focus on the overall picture. I'm here to do good work for certain people. Not for bureaucrats and politicians.