Camping
Our research group went camping last night and for part of today. It was a fun time, just relaxing, watching the fire and generally just enjoying the outdoors. In typical American style we tried and cramp as much stuff as we can into our cars and then drive someplace and say that we were camping. The best part of the camping location of where we were at was that it was technically a group site and so you didn't have alot of individuals campers around you. We had this one arm of Eagle Creek State Park on Lake Shelbyville all to ourselves. All total there were 9 of us. 3 children (Kendra (Chris's), and Lauren and Sara (Tami's)), and 6 Adults (myself, Amadu, SoonKyu, Haolin, Chris and Tami). The weather was perfect for camping around 75F in the day and at night it got down to around 55F so it was good to be by the fire.
For dinner we were all in charge of our own food, but there was more then enough to share with me bringing hamburgers, Tami bring veggies, and Haolin bring brats. We then had smores after dinner. After the kids were asleep we did what any group in Air Quality did, we burned different types of wood, and saw how well or how poor it burned. All I can say is the OSB (Oriented Strand Board) goes up very well and if a construction company ever wants to use that in an I-beam in my house I would be like no way.
Just before I went to bed I walk down to the point and just sat on a picnic table over looking the lake, staring up at the stars and thinking. I realized that I am an extremely luck person in that being American I am already wealthier then over 70% of the world's population, with pursuing my graduate degree I already have more education then 80% of the world's populations, and by having clean water I already have a better health situation then 75% of the world's population. Yet sitting there looking at the stars and thinking those thoughts, I realized that yes these are very important things in my life and I am grateful for everything I have but there is still something missing.
I am a successful young man who for the most part enjoy what I am doing and am optimistic about the impact I can have on the world once I get done with my degree. I know that I have a family and friends that love me dearly, and yet still something is missing. For most of my life I would have assumed that this missing thing in my life is my lonliness I felt when I wasn't close to God, but I know that even though I believe in God is still hard to think that this loneliness is because I am not following him closely enough. It has just become hard for me to impress on people why my religion is right and their's is wrong when fundamentally all religions come down to one fundamental question: Faith. Once everything is stripped away and removed, all that is left is the faith that God is looking down on you, or Allah, or Buddha, or which ever religion is your religion.
So what else could I be striving for? I think it comes down to the fact that for all the people in my life, I still don't have one person I can be complete open with and share everything. Sure most of my friends know about my troubles and problems in my life but I never am completely open with them and share everything. It is like I finally realize that what I am really looking for in life is what I would call my "soulmate". The one person out there destined for me. Sure I have dated in the past, and been open with my girlfriends, but this just feels different. It is not like I will stop dating, it more along the the lines that I will not cheat myself in what I know is good for me from a emotional level. I can see it now in my change in how I date, I realize I am approaching it in a much different manner where instead of trying to just quickly attach to someone instead I am gradually seeing what is best for me and my life. Yet, I think that how I view life and how I view how I will find this "soulmate" is that God really has to bring her into my life because I think that in the entire world there is one person destined for me and I will know when I find her. God and the world sees that I am just not ready yet, but it is hard to continue to have these moments in life where the 3/4 moon is breaking through the trees, the water is calm, and the air is still and when you look around the woods you feel sad that you aren't sharing it with someone else.
Later,
Scott
For dinner we were all in charge of our own food, but there was more then enough to share with me bringing hamburgers, Tami bring veggies, and Haolin bring brats. We then had smores after dinner. After the kids were asleep we did what any group in Air Quality did, we burned different types of wood, and saw how well or how poor it burned. All I can say is the OSB (Oriented Strand Board) goes up very well and if a construction company ever wants to use that in an I-beam in my house I would be like no way.
Just before I went to bed I walk down to the point and just sat on a picnic table over looking the lake, staring up at the stars and thinking. I realized that I am an extremely luck person in that being American I am already wealthier then over 70% of the world's population, with pursuing my graduate degree I already have more education then 80% of the world's populations, and by having clean water I already have a better health situation then 75% of the world's population. Yet sitting there looking at the stars and thinking those thoughts, I realized that yes these are very important things in my life and I am grateful for everything I have but there is still something missing.
I am a successful young man who for the most part enjoy what I am doing and am optimistic about the impact I can have on the world once I get done with my degree. I know that I have a family and friends that love me dearly, and yet still something is missing. For most of my life I would have assumed that this missing thing in my life is my lonliness I felt when I wasn't close to God, but I know that even though I believe in God is still hard to think that this loneliness is because I am not following him closely enough. It has just become hard for me to impress on people why my religion is right and their's is wrong when fundamentally all religions come down to one fundamental question: Faith. Once everything is stripped away and removed, all that is left is the faith that God is looking down on you, or Allah, or Buddha, or which ever religion is your religion.
So what else could I be striving for? I think it comes down to the fact that for all the people in my life, I still don't have one person I can be complete open with and share everything. Sure most of my friends know about my troubles and problems in my life but I never am completely open with them and share everything. It is like I finally realize that what I am really looking for in life is what I would call my "soulmate". The one person out there destined for me. Sure I have dated in the past, and been open with my girlfriends, but this just feels different. It is not like I will stop dating, it more along the the lines that I will not cheat myself in what I know is good for me from a emotional level. I can see it now in my change in how I date, I realize I am approaching it in a much different manner where instead of trying to just quickly attach to someone instead I am gradually seeing what is best for me and my life. Yet, I think that how I view life and how I view how I will find this "soulmate" is that God really has to bring her into my life because I think that in the entire world there is one person destined for me and I will know when I find her. God and the world sees that I am just not ready yet, but it is hard to continue to have these moments in life where the 3/4 moon is breaking through the trees, the water is calm, and the air is still and when you look around the woods you feel sad that you aren't sharing it with someone else.
Later,
Scott