(no subject)
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you
So i posted this song for a couple reasons. 1. it fits me so well lately. 2. It reminds me of alan. Since I had talked to alan a couple nights ago it's been really weird.
I havent really had a real conversation with alan in a couple years. It's been quite awhile since I have seen him as well. Every year on March 14, I wish alan a Happy not our anniversary. A weird tradition I know. But I have been doing it since we broke up and I cant stop now. So I sent him a text to tell him that and didnt get a response. No big deal. So he ims me the other night and we get into this long conversation about our currect relationships and sex. Now for those of you who know anything about alan and I we havent been together for 6 years. The last time we had sex together was probably New years eve of 2000 going into 2001. So I found it very amusing to talk about sex with someone I havent had sex with in well over 6 years. I dont remember anything about it. I had nothing to compare him to back then. He was my first of pretty much everything. I just thought it was funny. So anyways...he tells me how he doesnt feel bad if he cheats on his girlfriend due to the fact that she lives states away. However, this made me feel bad for her because I know what it's like to be cheated on. Anyways...it's made me feel a little weird and made me think about my own relationship. I dont have one. I know I have a "boyfriend" but in all honesty I have an acquientance more than a boyfriend. Honestly...he knows nothing about me. I never see him nor do i want to half the time. Again, I am the worst girlfriend ever right now. I admit it and I dont care. How can one be so mean and yet still have someone want to be with you? I dont get it! You can try and try to get that person to figure out that maybe you're not that one. Thats what I do. I push and push and push until finally the other person cant even handle it anymore and has to break up with me. Making me not the bad guy in the situation and thats exactly what I did to alan 6 years ago. I was a witch with a b to him. I was so mean and so inconsiderate that eventually he broke up with me. And it made me feel better knowing I didnt break up with him because when you look back on it. I was the one who got dumped. Anyways apparently this doesnt work on everyone and eventually I guess you have to be the bad guy.
We watched La Boheme in Media Crit today and I found a quote I loved. "Without laughter and joy, love is dead" of course it was in italian but luckily we had subtitles. I just think it's so true. If your not with someone who can make you smile then there is no love. I never said I loved him and I probably never will. As great of a guy as he is. He's just not for me. But I am trying to make it work because I do want someone to love me. But anyways, I just needed to ramble about my problems.
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no
I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you
So i posted this song for a couple reasons. 1. it fits me so well lately. 2. It reminds me of alan. Since I had talked to alan a couple nights ago it's been really weird.
I havent really had a real conversation with alan in a couple years. It's been quite awhile since I have seen him as well. Every year on March 14, I wish alan a Happy not our anniversary. A weird tradition I know. But I have been doing it since we broke up and I cant stop now. So I sent him a text to tell him that and didnt get a response. No big deal. So he ims me the other night and we get into this long conversation about our currect relationships and sex. Now for those of you who know anything about alan and I we havent been together for 6 years. The last time we had sex together was probably New years eve of 2000 going into 2001. So I found it very amusing to talk about sex with someone I havent had sex with in well over 6 years. I dont remember anything about it. I had nothing to compare him to back then. He was my first of pretty much everything. I just thought it was funny. So anyways...he tells me how he doesnt feel bad if he cheats on his girlfriend due to the fact that she lives states away. However, this made me feel bad for her because I know what it's like to be cheated on. Anyways...it's made me feel a little weird and made me think about my own relationship. I dont have one. I know I have a "boyfriend" but in all honesty I have an acquientance more than a boyfriend. Honestly...he knows nothing about me. I never see him nor do i want to half the time. Again, I am the worst girlfriend ever right now. I admit it and I dont care. How can one be so mean and yet still have someone want to be with you? I dont get it! You can try and try to get that person to figure out that maybe you're not that one. Thats what I do. I push and push and push until finally the other person cant even handle it anymore and has to break up with me. Making me not the bad guy in the situation and thats exactly what I did to alan 6 years ago. I was a witch with a b to him. I was so mean and so inconsiderate that eventually he broke up with me. And it made me feel better knowing I didnt break up with him because when you look back on it. I was the one who got dumped. Anyways apparently this doesnt work on everyone and eventually I guess you have to be the bad guy.
We watched La Boheme in Media Crit today and I found a quote I loved. "Without laughter and joy, love is dead" of course it was in italian but luckily we had subtitles. I just think it's so true. If your not with someone who can make you smile then there is no love. I never said I loved him and I probably never will. As great of a guy as he is. He's just not for me. But I am trying to make it work because I do want someone to love me. But anyways, I just needed to ramble about my problems.