(no subject)
The hunt has lost it's appeal, really. It used to be what I lived for... there isn't really much else out there after you'ved lived for a certain number of years. You feel like you already know everything... that you've already experienced it and that the only way to keep a spark of *anything* is to take larger and larger risks, gamble your life daily, ride the thrill until it ends, and you die.
But I guess it doesn't always work that way.
I'll still need to feed, and I still enjoy those moments but... something else is unfolding here, that needs my attention. I feel like I'm going into a different sort of gamble, one that doesn't involve my life, but things much more important.
It feels like I've spent my existance training up to this... I won't fail now.
I'm not leaving.
But I guess it doesn't always work that way.
I'll still need to feed, and I still enjoy those moments but... something else is unfolding here, that needs my attention. I feel like I'm going into a different sort of gamble, one that doesn't involve my life, but things much more important.
It feels like I've spent my existance training up to this... I won't fail now.
I'm not leaving.