JUST WHEN I THOUGHT A TANTRUM WAS AVOIDABLE.
I have not had one of THESE days in quite a while. I can barely work up the energy to breathe, much less commit any menial act. I...want...to...die...in this state, and I hate it more than anything. I have no reason to rely so heavily on these words, to worship them as I do, but they're all i'm convinced I have. In this state, I don't make sense. In this state I reach my greatest epiphanies and deepest...I collapsed in the hallway, as I'd walked away from my screen, just out of sheer exhaustion. I have no reason to feel this right now. It's irrational, it's hideous, it's not worth reading.
Fuck me and fuck all of this, I have no reason to feel as I do right now and I don't know why my fucking heart...my stomach...I have to vomit NOW.
I hate this, this is founded by nothing but absent thought AND CHILDISHNESS! I'm going to go see what matters can be worked on a self-imposed sick little girl. But if I stop writing, my hands will be idle. You do know what it is that they say of idle hands. My entire body itches and I finally have fingernails to do whatever it is that they may please.
My heart, my fucking heart, my chest, my ribs, my spine, I cannot...I do not...I'm sorry, I love you, that's the only part I know. The only part of anything that I really know. Why today, why did it HAVE to be THIS particular day. It could have been worse timing. But still, today, i didn't make anything smile my hands aren't working anymore i'm going to go and try to remember how to breathe no consultation today no john today no anything just stupid kacy throwing another fucking fit.
Fuck me and fuck all of this, I have no reason to feel as I do right now and I don't know why my fucking heart...my stomach...I have to vomit NOW.
I hate this, this is founded by nothing but absent thought AND CHILDISHNESS! I'm going to go see what matters can be worked on a self-imposed sick little girl. But if I stop writing, my hands will be idle. You do know what it is that they say of idle hands. My entire body itches and I finally have fingernails to do whatever it is that they may please.
My heart, my fucking heart, my chest, my ribs, my spine, I cannot...I do not...I'm sorry, I love you, that's the only part I know. The only part of anything that I really know. Why today, why did it HAVE to be THIS particular day. It could have been worse timing. But still, today, i didn't make anything smile my hands aren't working anymore i'm going to go and try to remember how to breathe no consultation today no john today no anything just stupid kacy throwing another fucking fit.