First and Last 15
Rating: R
Pairing: Sakurai Sho/Ohno Satoshi
Genre: AU, Angst, and a bit of fluff.
Disclaimer: The boys are of their own free selves.
Summary: He was and always will be his first and last love.
A/N: Sorry for the delay! I'm baaack!!~~~~
For a moment, Satoshi warily studied Sho's rigid form, then quietly closed the door behind him. At first he wasn't sure that the other man was aware of his presence, but halfway to his desk, the deep voice stopped him from his tracks.
“You had lunch with Kato.” It was a statement with a question behind it, rasped out in a low, chilling tone.
Watching Sho, he forced his legs to resume their course. “Yes. We had business to discuss.”
“Business?” He watched Sho turn slowly as he hung his coat on the back of his chair.
Sho’s face was taut and dark with anger. The look in his eyes made his heart give a little skip. He watched as the angry man snatched up the phone. “I told him to bring his business to me. One warning is all I give. Since he can’t - or won’t - follow orders, he’s out of a job, as of right now.”
Satoshi immediately reached across the desk and grabbed the phone away from Sho. “No! You will not fire Shige. The merger contract guarantees that no Matsumoto employee will be dismissed for a year.”
“I’ll break the damn contract!”
“Do that, and I’ll break mine.” He said in a quiet forcefulness that shocked Sho. “I’ll walk out of here and never look back. You’ll never see nor hear from me again. I swear it.”
It wasn’t what he wanted at all and just saying it sent a cold shiver down his spine, but he couldn’t let Sho do this to Shige. Sho became perfectly still, his eyes cold and narrowed. “You’ll do that for Kato?”
“I’ll do it for every loyal Matsumoto employee.” He answered with an exasperated sigh. “Listen to me Sho. Kato Shigeaki is not only the Chief Attorney on staff, he also handles my personal legal affairs.”
“The boy wants you!”
“Be that as it may, he is still my personal attorney, and we did have business to discuss.” He faced Sho squarely, his face as coolly determined as the other man’s was furious.
He knew Sho was still insecure where he was concerned, probably even more so now because of his reluctance to make a commitment to him. He understood and sympathized, but he has to make him see that if he hoped to salvage anything from their relationship, he has to control his jealousy.
“I often attend business lunches and dinners with people who may show interest in me, and I will continue to do so. I do not intend to be put through the third degree over it every time. So make up your mind. Either you trust me or you don’t. In which case, we part right here right now.”
Sho’s hard stare impaled him. For an awful moment, he momentarily thought the other man was going to just walk out. A shock of fear enveloped him. Finally, after a long tense silence, Sho nodded curtly. “Fine. Whatever you say.”
The clipped words had barely left Sho’s lips when he turned and headed for the connecting door. He watched him, expecting him to disappear into his office. Instead, he threw the door open, stuck his head inside, and said in a remarkably soft voice, “Come in sweetheart. I want you to meet someone.”
Sho had caught him completely off guard. It took him a few seconds to realize what the other man was doing, to whom he was speaking.
No! He screamed silently when it hit him, and took an instinctive step forward to stop him, but it was too late. He froze, his breath catching in his painfully tight chest when Sho led the small dark-haired child through the door.
“Satoshi, I’d like you to meet my daughter Toumi,” Sho said quietly. His gaze went from him to the child by his side, and his face softened with heart catching tenderness. With a hand at her back, he applied gentle pressure and nudged her forward. “Toumi, this is Papa’s friend from school, Matsumoto Satoshi-san.”
Groping behind him, he managed to locate the desk and stood there gripping the edge tightly. His knuckles white, his blood flowing through his veins like ice water as he looked into Sakurai Toumi’s light brown eyes. He felt his heart plunge all the way to his feet, and bit savagely at his lip.
Well? What were you expecting? That the child will not look like Sho? Were you hoping that she was fathered by one of Maki’s other lovers and that she duped Sho into taking responsibility? How foolish can you be Satoshi?
The child’s eyes were filled uncertainty and looked huge, peering at him from a chubby cheeked face. He briefly wondered how a man as attractive as Sho could have produced a daughter who looked exactly like him and yet so painfully plain.
The girl’s hair was pulled back in a tight bun, the style making her look too serious for her facial structure. She was a bit tall and skinny for her age, she was at that awkward stage when she was all knees and elbows with limbs looking a bit too long for her size. The clothes she wore, which he knows came from a very expensive brand, were too frilly which only emphasized her awkwardness.
Observations from an artist’s point of view, but it made him feel petty and mean. Guiltily, he looked at Sho and found the other man watching him with an intense expression on his face. With great effort, he turned back to the girl and produced a wan smile. “Hi Toumi-chan.”
“Hello.” The girl answered easily, a hint of a smile twitched on her face as she played at the frills on her dress. “You’re the friend that lives across the hall from us, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Yes, I am.” He sent Sho a questioning glance but the other man just shrugged. “I, uh…I hope you like your new apartment.”
“It’s okay.” The little girl was subjecting him to a thorough inspection, staring at him with the open curiosity of children. Feeling a bit uncomfortable, he looked to Sho for help.
“Well, what do you think sweetie?” Sho smiled warmly and put his hand on his daughter’s shoulder. The little girl smiled and nodded, and the man looked back at him. “Toumi and I would like for you to join us for dinner tonight.”
The invite was said so casually that it caused him to panic. For a moment, he didn’t know what to say, but anger won over. Damn it Sho! He knows I don’t want to socialize with him and his daughter. I made that pretty clear!
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” He said in a pleasant but firm voice as he fixed a polite smile on his face, aware of the girl’s continued scrutiny. “In any case, I don’t want to intrude. This is Toumi-chan’s first night here and I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Toumi and I have talked on the phone every night since I’ve been here. Judging from the size of the phone bill, I’d say we’ve pretty much covered everything. So, there’s no reason for you not to join us. We would really like you to be there.”
“Yup!” the little girl added her agreement. “Tachibana-san is going to cook a fancy dinner with place sets and everything.”
“Tachibana-san?”
“My housekeeper.” Sho answered and put on a coaxing smile. “She looks after Toumi when I’m not at home. We’ve already told her we were going to invite you so she’s probably already planned dinner. She’ll be terribly disappointed if you don’t come.”
Like I would believe that about someone I haven’t met. He breathed deeply. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
He walked around his desk and sat down. Hoping the other man would take the hint, he pulled out some papers from a folder and grabbed a pencil. “I hope you enjoy your summer in Kyoto, Toumi-chan.”
“Thank you, Matsumoto-san.” The girl responded in a slightly subdued tone.
The emotional undercurrents were becoming almost palpable, and he wasn’t surprised when the girl looked up to her father, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “Papa?”
Sho was watching him. He knows the other man wants to argue very much, but his daughter’s voice tore his gaze away from him. His harsh expression fading instantly into fond indulgence as he knelt down beside his daughter.
“Well, it looks like we will have to catch Matsumoto-san another time, won’t we? Now, why don’t you say goodbye and then we’ll go home. Tachibana-san probably needs help with unpacking.”
When they left, the tension still hung in the air. It was heavy, thick, and pressing. Like a suffocating fog. In the unnatural silence, he could hear the slow beating of his heart and the soft whisper of his breath.
Propping both elbows on the desk, he held his head in his hands. He was so confused. A part of him wanted Sho back, he couldn’t deny that, but he was scared. Scared of the bitterness and anger that he couldn’t seem to shake off. Scared of loving too much and too deeply, of being hurt again. Of hurting someone else, hurting Toumi. Accepting Sho meant accepting her too. Accepting his daughter, Maki’s daughter.
Slowly, he stood and walked to the glass wall behind his desk. He stood quietly for a few moments, his arms crossed over his chest. Waiting. Then he saw them emerge from the building and start towards Sho’s car. Two figures, so alike, despite the obvious differences in age, size, and sex. Sho’s dark head was bent in an attentive attitude. Toumi’s head tilted upward, frills bouncing as she moved excitedly.
Unable to help himself, he watched the skinny, pink-frill-clad child until she climbed into the rented car and disappeared from view. When the car pulled out of the lot, he swallowed around the lump in his throat and squeezed his eyes shut. She’s the only thing Maki gave him that I never ever could.
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