First and Last 01
Rating: R (just this chapter)
Pairing: Sakurai Sho/Ohno Satoshi
Genre: AU, Angst, and a bit of fluff.
Disclaimer: The boys are of their own free selves.
Summary: He was and always will be his first and last love.
Matsumoto Jun sighed and narrowed his eyes. "Are you crazy Oh-chan?! We can't cancel now! They're already on their way here!"
Jun leaned back on his chair and stared at his brother-in-law, but Satoshi remained quiet. Standing by the mural that decorated the wall of his office, Satoshi gazed at the gray skies outside the office windows. A storm was brewing and the gray clouds seem to gather around the buildings of Matsumoto Fashion. Although his expression remained calm and composed, all the strong emotions running through Ohno Satoshi was as terrible as the weather outside.
Why? Why now? he thought as he looked at the letter he had received that morning. More particularly at the signature that seemed to mock him at the bottom of it. Just seeing that name brought back painful memories he thought he had forgotten.
Watching him,Jun sighed and rubbed his temples. Trying to ease the headache that has started to annoy him. What he'd do to be at home and playing with his daughter. Several minutes of silence ticked by and Jun couldn't help himself anymore. "Give me a break here Oh-chan! We had agreed to this merger 3 months ago. Ninomiya Publishing is our last hope of saving the company. It's the best deal we've received and you know that. I honestly don't understand what the problem is. You were the one who keeps praising their proposal yesterday."
"That was before I knew that Sakurai Sho was Ninomiya's representative." Satoshi replied with a slight pout, eyes tracing the trail of raindrops that had now started to fall and hit the window's glass.
"Sakurai Sho? THAT is what this is all about?! You're going to throw away our company's saving grace because you hate this Sakurai Sho?" His eyes focused on the older's pale face and the tension on his shoulders and sighed. "I take it that you know the guy?"
"Know him?" Satoshi let out a humorless laugh. "You bet I know him. Sakurai Sho and I were lovers once."
"I see. Well." Jun shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. "I can understand how you must feel...uncomfortable about the whole thing, but that's no excuse for us to suddenly back out of the deal. I mean, whatever happened between the two of you was over a long time ago. You married Nee-chan 6 years ago."
"It happened when were still both in college." Satoshi replied flatly, masking all the emotions he was feeling. "We broke up a year before I started work here. Before I met Yui."
"There you go. Wouldn't he have already forgotten what happened years ago? Why are you even making such a big deal about it? Let it go."
Satoshi's heart clenched at Jun's words but he pressed his lips in to a thin line and shrugged. "You may be right about it being in the past, but that doesn't mean that I would want to see him again."
Jun muttered out a curse and sighed. "Look Oh-chan, I'm sorry if this meeting would cause some awkwardness between you two, but we can't afford to lose this merger. Not now. We need this."
Satoshi glanced at him silently, unable to come up with words to answer. The younger one saw something flash in his eyes before the mask of indifference came back and hid everything. With a final shrug he turned his attention back to the pattern of raindrops on the windows. Jun's secretary knocked on the door and relayed some information that Satoshi doesn't deem important. It must have been some bad information as Jun started berating the poor man. Not wanting to know what the problem was, Satoshi let his mind drift away from the conversation as he hugged himself and watched the rain that was steadily growing stronger. The letter being crumpled in his hand.
What Jun didn't understand was that Sakurai Sho was not just some College fling. Satoshi had loved Sho to the point where he doesn't need nor want anything or anyone else. Sho was his life. He let every aspect of his being revolve around the quiet, brooding, intelligent person he loved so much. Sakurai Sho was his universe. Sho had caught his interest from the moment they met. He had made him feel things that hasn't experienced feeling before. Sho was a year younger that he was but the way his mind works was amazing. There was determination behind his brooding eyes that has always drawn in his attention. He was totally head over heels in love with Sho that the moment the other asked him out he felt like he was flying.
They were together everyday, almost attached at the hip, but to Satoshi's confusion and growing uncertainty their relationship stayed innocent. Sho kissed him and held him passionately, he knew that Sho wants him as much he wants the other, but Sho always stopped before they could go any further. He had wanted to confront Sho about it, but because of the younger one's determination he decided to keep quiet. He had no idea how deep Sho's feelings for him were until the night he was invited to the other's apartment. Even now, he trembles whenever he remembers every detail about that night.
-=-=-=-=-
It's weird. Sho had been so silent and jittery all evening, which is so not like him since he was usually the one who starts the conversations between them. Satoshi found it even weirder when Sho wasn't happy that he agreed to go to the other's apartment. He had been tense and nervous as Sho led him up the steps to a small garage apartment, a short distance away from campus. When Sho opened the door and switched on the lights, Satoshi did not know what to say. It was a one room apartment, with paint chipping off the walls, dull floors, and some pieces of furniture that have surely seen better days . A small bed, a lumpy, torn sofa, and a couple of old bean bags that have been taped up due to holes ripped at their sides.
"I...Sho, it's very cozy." Satoshi stuttered as Sho slammed the door shut behind them.
"It's a dump." Sho crossed his arms and walked to the middle of the room. He stood there for a moment before turning around. His face was hard, determined. "You don't have to stay here Satoshi. I'll take you home."
"Sho, I-I want to stay." Actually, Satoshi wasn't sure whether he wanted to stay or not. The apartment didn't bother him as much as Sho's behaviour.
"Just look at this place Satoshi!" Sho shouted, gesturing out around the room. "It's all I've got, all I can afford. It won't always be this way. I'm going to be a success someday, but right now, this is all I have. You have to accept that because if you stay, it'll be too late to change your mind. If you stay, you'll belong to me. Do you understand that?"
Satoshi gasped. He could hardly breathe but it's all because of all the warm and fuzzy feelings building up inside him. Finally, he understood how Sho feels about him and it's like a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders. He looked up and faced Sho's fierce gaze as he walked to him. He stopped inches away, his hand reaching out and cupping Sho's face gently. "I love you Sho. I will always belong to you and nobody e--"
Sho held him close and kissed him hungrily before he could even finish what he was saying. The need that Sho has for him ran free, all the restraints Sho had put up began breaking down as he kissed him back. All the love and longing they have for each other engulfing both of them as he wrapped his arms around Sho's neck and pressed his body closer, as if willing himself to melt into Sho's arms.
"I love you so much Satoshi." Sho whispered into his ear before bringing him to bed. Their clothes landed on the floor soon after as they held each other close. "I'll love you forever."
Satoshi gasped and bit his lip as he felt Sho start to prepare him. His reaction caught Sho's attention, stopping him from his task. Sho held him close, willing him to look into his eyes. Once he did, he could feel the tears pooling in his eyes.
"Satoshi." Sho whispered as he kissed him softly and gently wiped the tears that had started to fall. "Are you okay? We can stop."
"No Sho." Satoshi rasped out and gently nipped Sho's lower lip. "I love you too. So much. Don't stop."
"I don't want to hurt you Satoshi."
"It doesn't matter."
"But..."
"Please Sho." Satoshi pleaded as he wrapped his arms around Sho. "Make love to me."
Sho looked into his eyes, searching him for any hesitations before groaning and kissing him passionately when he found none. "You're mine Satoshi. Now and forever."
-=-=-=-=-
Forever. Satoshi sighed and once again traced the signature on the now crumbled paper in his hands. Forever, for both of them, had lasted no longer than a year.
"Well? What's it going to be?" Jun asked as he dismissed his secretary who was now on the verge of tears. "Do we sign with them or not?"
The anger that Jun is trying, and failing, to hide made Satoshi guilty. In all the years they had known each other, Jun has never been mad at him. He welcomed him into the family with open arms and had been the best younger brother Satoshi could ask for. Satoshi knew that Jun's anger came from his worries about the company and he felt guiltier knowing that he had added to it by refusing the merger. Neither of them really wanted to give up control of the company but it is need and the decision has already been made. Jun has been looking forward to going back to his studio and working on his new designs, Satoshi doesn't want to take that away from him.
Satoshi took a deep breath as his posture slumped. He knows that he has no choice on the matter anymore. Although the thought of seeing Sho again made him panic he knows that Jun was right. They needed this merger and as the creative director of the company, there was no way she could avoid meeting Sho.
"Fine." Satoshi said with a pout as he walked back to Jun and laid the now crumpled letter onto the desk. "We'll sign the contract but it does not mean I like this one bit."
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