Amanda Palmer and the Art of Asking
Originally published at Misangela.com. Please leave any comments there.
Amanda’s TED talk hit VERY close to home for me. She, as usual, discusses a topic that I and many others have issues with: asking for help. If you’ve not seen her TED talk yet, you need to take 15 minutes and watch that before you go any further into my post:
I have no trouble sitting at a convention table hawking our wares. I have no trouble posting links to my Etsy shop. I do it all the time. But I have trouble with simply asking for money with no product in exchange. I also have trouble giving money to people for random reasons if there’s nothing in it for me. I hate admitting this, but it’s true. When people ask for money for a camera or something that’s not “essential” for their existence, I get irritated. Especially if the asker is employed. I think “Why should I give YOU money? You’ve got a job!” But why shouldn’t they ask? It’s MY bias, not their asking that is the issue.
I think this is the Southern in me. I was raised by entrepreneurs who did for themselves. They’d DIE before asking for help. I’m not quite that bad, but almost. Nick is the same way. We sure could use a few thousand more dollars to get our moving fund fattened up, but we won’t do a Kickstarter or Fundly for it. We are just scrimping and saving. We are too proud to put out the ole tip jar and put our friends on the spot for cash. Why? Because it makes US uncomfortable and we feel it’s inappropriate. Clearly this attitude is not held by the hipster generation! “Crowd sourcing” is the new way to get what you want. And, well, I guess there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a completely voluntary transaction. I don’t know why it squicks me out as much as it does.
Asking for money (or any help, really) takes a certain kind of bravery. A kind I lack, apparently.
It’s a conundrum for me. I like to help others and I do Kickstarters and other things quite often. But when it comes to me just flat out asking for money, I can’t do it. I’ll ask you to buy my stuff, but that’s as far as I’ll go.
Amanda brings up a really good point about our resistance to face to face asking/receiving. I hope I can change my attitude about this and become more open to asking. It’s definitely a point to ponder. We absolutely need help making the move to Phoenix. Maybe we should do a Kickstarter for ourselves? Or a Fundly. What do you think, hivemind?