The Bond (5/?)
Mating Day came to pass, and Dean and Cas stayed on good terms. Or, at least, better terms than usual.
They had come to enjoy being fuck buddies, slowly learning each other’s bodies carefully so as to be able to take the other apart.
But it wasn’t enough.
Castiel sigh, shaking his head.
“Cassie!” called a voice, and Cas turned, a grin forming on his face and his best friend, Rachel, ran into his arms.
“Rachel! You’re back!”
“Yup! Now, let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
Cas knew why Rachel wanted to talk. No doubt Balthzar (who had a teeny tiny crush on Rachel) had told her all about the bonding.
Once they were seated nicely in the Room of Requirements, Rachel smiled, leaning against Cas, allowing him to wrap his arm around her.
“Now. Tell me all about this Winchester boy.”
“He’s annoying. He continuously insists on putting himself in danger, is noble to the point of being foolhardy. Just yesterday the idiot went and got into some fight with some Slytherins. Balthazar took care of them obviously, but then he yells at me, going on and on about how he can handle it himself and how he doesn’t need me butting in!”
Rachel nodded, watching him knowingly.
“And its not like I ASKED him to jump in the way of a bonding potion! I didn’t ASK him to be nice to me!”
“He just was. And that’s the issue isn’t it, dear?” asked Rachel sadly.
Castiel sighed.
Before Gabriel had managed to take him away, Cas had lived with his uncle Zacharaiah, who was cruel and constantly formulated new ways to torture Castiel. His older brothers had all managed to run away, and Anna had married a muggle, leading to her getting disowned by his pureblood manic uncle.
His father was never around, and his mother had died at child birth.
In short, Castiel was used to being “duty-bound”, being given “orders” which he was supposed to follow.
What he wasn’t used to was kindness, to bright green eyes than shone like the stars, to freckles he wanted to count till he knew them all.
Cas let Rachel hug him as he let himself fall apart under the strain of the bond and the havoc it had created.
But he was careful to block his thoughts and feelings from the connection, refusing to let Dean know of this.
This was his and Rachel’s moment, and no one else.
-x-x-x-x-
Dean shifted uncomfortably.
“What’s wrong Dean?” asked Jo Harvelle, Sam’s best friend, and Dean’s honorary sister.
Dean frowned.
“It felt like…something suddenly went missing.”
Sam looked up, startled.
“What do you mean? Did something happen to Cas?” asked Sam, concerned.
Dean shook his head.
“No, Cas said the effects of any pain he felt would be felt through the bond. Its almost like….there’s a wall. I can feel him existing….but he’s not there.”
“So he’s hiding?” asked Jo.
Dean looked up.
“It…seems like it.”
Dean shrugged and went on with the wizarding chess game he was playing with Jo.
If he wondered and worried about Cas a bit, no one else would be the wiser.
After all, what happened between them was their own business. No one elses.
But…sometimes Dean forgot.
Dean was used to being in a relationship before he had regular sex with someone. Sure he had one nighters often, but there were never repeat performances. Usually Dean was in a relationship when he had sex regularly with just one person.
And Dean reckoned that was the reason that he sometimes forgot that Cas was just a “fuck-buddy”. That was probably the reason he randomly put his arm around Cas when he was laughing or telling him a joke, and the only reason he willingly sat with the Slytherins he had hated for years.
He unconsciously did these things because it was a habit for him. When he let himself run on auto-drive and spaced out, this was what happened.
At least, that’s what Dean likes to think. He finds it easier and safer than the other option, in which his behavior has nothing to do with his frequent space-out sessions.
Dean’s always had space-out issues. The Healer at Mungo’s said that it was something to do with his psyche and magic. Because of Dean’s intellect and power, he tended to automatically space out to give himself room to rest, without even realizing it.
It wasn’t an issue at the moment, but the healer had suggested that Dean try to challenge himself.
Dean, frankly, found it annoying. Quidditch kept his mind busy, because he concentrated on calculating wind patterns, possibilities, team arrangements and techniques, strategy.
These things ensured that he never spaced out during a match. Around Cas, however, Dean had never been completely comfortable. Instead of keeping himself busy, he found himself treading carefully. And if his space outs then were bad, the ones he had now that he seemed to be trusting Cas were worse.
He hadn’t told Cas anything about it, but he was sure he knew. Kids like Dean were not common, so when one came around, everyone knew. It was because these individuals- Vessels- had an…aura about them. They literally radiated magic.
Sam was a Vessel as well, but he had never had Dean’s issues. According to the Healers at Mungo’s, Dean and Sam were a rare duo- coming from the same family and being brothers by blood- and their powers were different. While Dean was powerful and extremely intelligent, his brain had a constant need to be occupied. He needed something to take his mind OFF his powers. Sam didn’t have that issue, but his magic had never been as powerful as Dean’s. Instead, Sam had more Divination oriented powers (Dean had given him so much shit for that).
Dean found himself worrying sometimes, late in the night, about what would happen if he spaced out and Cas had to bring him back.
He had no idea what the fallen angel thought of him, and that fact alone- not knowing something- annoyed him.
-x-x-x-x-
“Dean,” said a distant voice.
“DEAN!”
Dean snapped back to reality, blinking repeatedly.
Sam looked worried. “You spaced out really badly just now. Are you ok?”
Dean frowned.
“I….I don’t know.”
Dean felt a kind of confusion and something similar to vertigo after his space-outs and today he felt both, but also oddly uncomfortable.
“Come on,” said Jo, looking worried. “We’ll take you to the Hospital Wing.”
Dean nodded and let them take him there. He found it was difficult to concentrate on anything, and while it sometimes happened to him after his space-outs, the feeling was different. Usually it felt like he had just woken up, but now it felt like he actually could NOT focus.
“Sam….Something’s really wrong.”
Sam and Jo sped up, and Dean allowed them to take the brunt of his weight, feeling himself slowly loosing consciousness.
The last thing he heard before he passed out was Castiel’s voice, screaming his name.