(no subject)
Nietzsche once said that good end evil, the pillars of our world don’t really exist. He said that in Thus Spoke Zarathustra, a tale about a prophet finding his way in life. By chance or not, I have always believed this to be true. It makes sense: you erase the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ concepts from your mind when you are standing on the other side of the line, the one everybody who likes a quiet life condemns and loves to put the blame on. When you are the villain you are the blamed one and that teaches you never to believe in what others say.
Murderers, liars, monsters… we’re all quite the same. It’s only when they begin to condemn you that you see the real depth of their ignorance,your ignorance. You wonder what is worse: to make believe everything that doesn’t fit your view of the world doesn’t exist or to act as if all the insanity in the world is real and wait till they crucify you for your beliefs. Rule number 1: don’t ever think they will be nice if you’ll say what you truly believe.
Nobody really cares about good and evil unless the pair walks into their lives and forces them to make a choice. What should they stand up for? What is right, best, easiest? Or the classical answer of all the believers in the world: the law? It is easy to condemn others for their mistakes and pretend you wouldn’t have done the same in their place. Humans are week for this type of things as they are for others, but you won’t condemn them now because you love them for their blindness.
They think you a monster for killing your own brother, but they think themselves as open-minded if they talk about hypothetical abortions on imaginary daughters. They condemn you for taking life when they openly support wars and slaughter through their taxes and refuse to say “no” to the madness of it all. Why should they say it and be different? You did and look at you now… you are the monster who bathes in the blood of his victims at the 5 o’clock news. It doesn’t even matter if it is true or not; for them you are a disease, something too unclean to ever see the sun. You represent everything they fear, the anarchist they all secretly fear to become, the one that might just break the spell that hides their wishes from the world.
Belphegor, the monster… it was a mistake really. You weren’t born a cold blooded murderer. You were born into this world as naked and dirty as everyone else. You loved your twin brother and played with him in the sand or went on long treasure hunts o your family’s lands that always left your nannies worried about what would happen to them should the little masters disappear. Your family is the one to blame. Brother was smarter or so your tutors said, but you know you were the brilliant one; it was their fault for not seeing the beauty of torment and despair. Your brother was better, the future king, the one who would not be a prince for long. You were the spare, the second, weaker son, the disappointment…Your family sent your twin image against you; he was the one who took everything from you; he tried to kill you first. A prince is perfect and never allows traitors to live.
You understand now. Royalty was always inbred for maintaining the purity of the line. Your fault in life was to be born sane in a family that made you go insane. Lovely irony, isn’t it? This is the thing you loved about the Varia from the very beginning. Each and every one of you is an assassin that will kill on sight, but none of you actually thought that your choices would lead to this journey.
Take Mammon who wanted to become an Arcobaleno all his life, but ended up hating it once he saw the extent of his curse. Lussuria was born by a father who killed his prostitute mother and sold his child to drug dealers. Levi never received anything in his life without a fight and will kill for the chance to prove himself. Squalo is the insane bastard that everyone believed would become the Cavalone’s Don Underboss; no one really knew why he never did, only that he regretted it even more as he found himself unable to harm his past friend; he hates himself for it, but we can’t choose who we love can we? If we could none of us would have ended up where we did. As for Xanxus… well let’s not even go there; I will only tell you this: the opposite to love isn’t hare nor is it indifference; it’s disappointment.
How do you know this? You are called Varia’s genius for a reason. You see people and the masks that they wear; how they hide form themselves and lie to the world that everything is all right when alone at night they know that it isn’t. These are the times you hate them for their blindness. To lie to the world is something, but to lie to yourself is just idiotic; or as Nietzsche called it: human.
You envy the foolish and week masses that walk their way through life closing their eyes to everything that doesn’t suit their stylistic fancies. You hate them and want them all to walk the thin line that separates them from you and your insanity. You would kill them for their ignorance, cut them to pieces and hang them from a high place so they can see that their pure white world is tainted crimson with the blood of every innocent that ever died not knowing what to fight for.
There’s a you and there’s a them, good and evil, right and wrong call it whatever you want, behind it lays only fear. You know this and embrace it wholly you know that if they stopped living in fear they would die crushed by the beautiful madness of the world they thought they knew so well. There would not be any good or evil, so how could the good and week people of this world live if the foundation of their mind suddenly crashed? One would not be either in the ‘good’ or the ‘bad’ side of the highway because it would not exist.
It’s only a decision you see, this ’good’ and ‘evil’. You are the bad one, or so they say? Who can tell if you aren’t the good one? One opinion values just as much as the fear it hides from. It doesn’t really matter because you take the mask of fear that hides the nature of the world and wear it day after day. The Ripping Prince, Belphegor … you take that mask because good and evil are just masks that we hide under. It doesn’t matter because today you wear it too. Good and evil are choices.
Today, evil means you.