Why you adventurers no talk good?
My character came to a horrible realization during game today.
For the last few sessions we've been in an ogre village trying to hammer out a non-aggression treaty. If anyone out there is wondering just what it's like to try to practice diplomacy with ogres, I want you to go get the biggest, heaviest book you have (for example, if you were me you would grab the three volume Annotated Sherlock Holmes). Now, stand in the middle of the room, grasp the book firmly with both hands, and start smashing yourself in the forehead. Repeatedly.
We all feel like we're bleeding Int points just by the proximity. But finally, finally after dealing with the having to sit through the ogre electoral process (we, um...sort of killed the previous leader. But it was justified!) we're one task away from getting back to the world where food is cooked and "topiary animal" is a fancy bush and not an actual animal rolled in leaves and stuck on a pole. (Most of the ogres don't quite grasp a lot of human-world things. Don't get me started on what they think "farming" is.:)
Now the ogres all speak broken Common (Me ogre), even the actually intelligent ones --- expect the one we met this week. This one spoke perfect Common, making us all happy until we realized this wasn't actually a smart, articulate ogre. He was, in fact, an absolutely blood simple ogre. Not-quite-sure-how-he's-even-walking-upright level of dumb.
That was when my character remembered a different ogre complementing the barbarian (who also speaks broken Common) on how well he spoke. Then came the creeping horror: somehow, speaking in full sentences is a sign of mental incapacity among ogre society. That means whenever an ogre hears a human (elf/dwarf/etc) speak, we sound like drooling morons to them.
The barbarian immediately became our chief negotiator.:) My poor girl is so ready to get back to civilization.
For the last few sessions we've been in an ogre village trying to hammer out a non-aggression treaty. If anyone out there is wondering just what it's like to try to practice diplomacy with ogres, I want you to go get the biggest, heaviest book you have (for example, if you were me you would grab the three volume Annotated Sherlock Holmes). Now, stand in the middle of the room, grasp the book firmly with both hands, and start smashing yourself in the forehead. Repeatedly.
We all feel like we're bleeding Int points just by the proximity. But finally, finally after dealing with the having to sit through the ogre electoral process (we, um...sort of killed the previous leader. But it was justified!) we're one task away from getting back to the world where food is cooked and "topiary animal" is a fancy bush and not an actual animal rolled in leaves and stuck on a pole. (Most of the ogres don't quite grasp a lot of human-world things. Don't get me started on what they think "farming" is.:)
Now the ogres all speak broken Common (Me ogre), even the actually intelligent ones --- expect the one we met this week. This one spoke perfect Common, making us all happy until we realized this wasn't actually a smart, articulate ogre. He was, in fact, an absolutely blood simple ogre. Not-quite-sure-how-he's-even-walking-upright level of dumb.
That was when my character remembered a different ogre complementing the barbarian (who also speaks broken Common) on how well he spoke. Then came the creeping horror: somehow, speaking in full sentences is a sign of mental incapacity among ogre society. That means whenever an ogre hears a human (elf/dwarf/etc) speak, we sound like drooling morons to them.
The barbarian immediately became our chief negotiator.:) My poor girl is so ready to get back to civilization.