Fic: Caught Up In Circles 4/5 (Supernatural; Dean/Cas/Lisa, PG-13)
Title: Caught Up In Circles
Author: misachan
Artist: chosenfire28
Fandom: Supernatural
Relationship(s)/Characters: Dean/Castiel/Lisa
Word Count: 3558
Rating: PG-13
Content Notes/Warnings: S6 AU; some sexual situations, a little voyeurism, rampant abuse of time travel
Summary: Five times Lisa Braeden met an angel of the Lord.
Lisa had no idea who could be ringing her doorbell at ten at night on a weekday. "Babe?" she said, promising that if this was someone selling anything she was going to get one of Dean's fancy knives. Two knives if it was someone from the PTA again. "You didn't order Chinese without telling me, did you?"
"Not tonight." Which she supposed explained why he was in her kitchen making a truly terrifying sandwich.
She steeled herself for ordering whoever it was out there to get the hell off her porch, taking a fortifying sip of wine before opening the door.
The glass fell from her hand completely forgotten when she saw Sam Winchester filling up her doorway. "Lisa? Hey," he said, leaning against the door like he didn't trust his legs to hold him up. "I...I don't know how I got here."
"Dean!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Dean, get out here now."
"Dean's here?"
"Of course Dean's here, come on, come on, get in here," she said, coaxing him inside. He stumbled over the doorway and she grabbed his arm. "Easy, easy, watch the glass. Please don't fall, I can't hold you up."
"I'm okay," he said, which was a complete lie but he was giving staying on his feet his best shot.
"Lise? What's up? Who was at the...." Dean stopped stock still in the middle of the room, like this was an illusion he thought would break if he moved. "Sammy?"
Lisa didn't think she'd ever seen two happier people in her life. "You did what I asked you to do."
She stepped back as Dean enveloped Sam in an enormous hug. "Promised you I would, didn't I?"
Lisa helped him get Sam over to the sofa; she heard Ben come galloping down the stairs and looked up."Mom? What's going on...Sam!"
"Baby, go find the nice duvet and put it on the bed in the guest room, okay?"
"But...."
She gave him her best do it look and he finally rolled his eyes and obeyed; the last thing Sam and Dean needed was dealing with anyone else, no matter how friendly the face.
Dean finished sitting Sam down, who looked like he would be happy to pass out right there. "Dude, what happened?" he said as Lisa sat herself in the chair next to them.
"I don't know. I wish I did. The last thing I remember is being in Stull, then I'm jumping into that hole...and that's it. The next thing I knew I was standing on the porch. Everything between is a blank."
"I mean...how do you feel? No hitchhikers?"
Lisa had no idea what that meant but Sam shook his head. "No. No, he's...I don't know, he's wherever he is. I feel fine. Tired. Really tired."
"C'mon, then," she said. "Up to the guest room with you." Dean was shaking so hard Lisa didn't think much of his chances of handling the stairs so she helped Sam up, giving Dean a stay there, I have this gesture. She managed to get Sam into the bedroom without any catastrophes and he collapsed on the bed, asleep before he even took off his shoes. She wrapped the duvet around him and crept back down the stairs, handing Dean a beer before sitting next to him. "He's fast asleep."
"My brother's okay," he said, holding the bottle like he'd forgotten what to do with it.
Lisa kissed his temple. "Now you're both okay."
He kissed her hard, pressing her back against the sofa. "Why, though? Good stuff just doesn't happen, Lise, it doesn't. Not to us."
"You'll find out. You will, but don't worry about it now. For once just be happy for five seconds, okay?"
Dean nodded, wrapping his arms around her.
***
Sam slept for two solid days until finally even Dean decided enough was enough. "C'mon, Sammy, up and at 'em. We gotta get you out of these clothes before you start getting rank. Lisa was even nice enough to go to the store for giants to get you some new duds." Sam grumbled and tried to bury his head under the pillow. "It's been two days, Sam. Get up or I'm gonna drag you to the hospital."
Lisa thought that was probably a lie but Sam seemed to think it was a plausible enough threat to turn over, taking two tries to sit up. She put the clothes bag on the floor as Dean continued waking Sam up. "You need a hand?"
"Nah, I've been getting this idiot dressed since I was four, I can do this in my sleep," he said, starting to tug off Sam's shirt. Lisa had just turned away to go back downstairs and start dinner when she heard Dean suck in a horrified breath. "Oh, fuck."
She turned to see Dean stagger back two steps and suddenly she could hear every word of that strange conversation she'd had with Castiel about regrets while Dean slept in vivid detail.
Against the side of Sam's chest like a brand was the raised impression of a hand print. Sam's eyes were wide with horror and Dean's hands curled into fists at his side, fury coming from him in waves. "Son of a bitch. The stupid son of a bitch. Swear to God, if there's anything left of him I'm gonna kill him myself."
***
Dean spent the rest of that day and most of the next trying to contact Castiel any way he could, from praying to compulsively dialing his phone in every church and graveyard and anywhere else he thought might give the call an edge to come through to finally shouting challenges and profanity at the sky. He got worked up to the point that Sam tried to calm him down, telling Lisa he was worried some less friendly angels (which to hear the two of them talk sounded like all of them) might come down to investigate but nothing happened. No angels appeared in balls of fire, no one worried about Castiel came down to find out what they knew. The sky was quiet and the world kept on spinning and it made Lisa so angry she couldn't put words to it. Someone besides them should be looking but whatever choice Castiel had made, he seemed to be alone in it.
Since wishful thinking seemed to be a lost cause Sam and Dean gave her and Ben a crash course in summoning rituals. Ben took to it like he'd been born to it, which terrified her more than she could say but she had to put that aside. She told herself that at least she'd finally found a way to get him to study; by the end of the week he was almost as proficient with the basic rituals as Sam, reading Latin like an old pro.
But nothing worked. Not the basic ones they let Ben help with while she looked on and not the dangerous ones they had to do alone in empty fields under full moons, armed with relics they'd had to drive all night to find, and with every failure she saw guilt turn the two of them inside out a little more.
Not that she didn't understand the feeling herself. One day Dean kicked the door open and all but threw Sam inside before storming upstairs; Sam's eye was swollen and as Lisa sat him down to put ice on it he told her Dean was upset because he'd gone to a crossroad - "Just for information."
That didn't seem to have worked either. "And you still don't remember anything?" she asked, helping him position the ice pack.
"Nothing. It's all still just a black hole. Cas must have done that on purpose, something must have happened he doesn't want me to remember."
Lisa sat in the chair opposite him, drumming her fingers against the kitchen table. "Maybe we should do something about that."
***
"Lisa, I don't know about this," Dean said, fidgeting in his seat at the table. "Last time we let a psychic anywhere near Cas bad stuff happened."
"Dean, for the last time, Holly's not a psychic, she's a licensed hypno-therapist," she said, sending an apologetic look to her friend sitting at the table opposite Sam. "And she specializes in repressed memories, she can help. Stop treating this like it's hocus pocus."
"I'd like it better if it was hocus pocus," he muttered back. "I trust hocus pocus."
"Lisa, it's okay," Holly said, looking first at her and then at Sam, who was looking more nervous by the second. "There's a lot of misinformation out there about hypnotism. Half of my clients come into my office thinking I'm going to make them cluck like chickens." She put a metronome on the table and started it rocking back and forth, provoking another scoff from Dean, which Holly completely ignored. "All right Sam, all hypnotism really means is a way to relax your mind. Memories are always there, just sometimes trauma can block the pathways we need to retrieve them. We're going to try to quiet some of your mind's defense mechanisms so we can unblock those pathways, all right? It's okay if it doesn't work the first time, it usually takes more than one session." Sam nodded and she folded her hands against the table. "Good. Now focus on the movement of the metronome. Shut out out everything except that and my voice." Sam nodded again and after a minute Lisa could see him visibly relax.
"You're doing very well. Now I'm going to count backwards from ten-" Lisa had to give Dean a warning look not to openly scoff again - "and then I'm going to ask you some questions. When I do I want you to say the first thought that comes into your mind, all right? Whatever it is. Even if it doesn't make sense to you. Do you understand?"
Sam nodded again, relaxing some more, and Holly began counting. When she reached one she said, "All right, Sam. Go back to standing on Lisa's front porch. What did you just finish doing?"
"I..." His forehead crinkled as he thought. "I was in a cemetery. I jumped."
"Go back to the porch. How did you get there?"
"I...it's just me jumping, I don't...."
"Breathe. Go back to standing on the porch," she said, and Lisa saw Sam nod. "Whenever you feel blocked, that's where I want you to go." He nodded again, letting out a deep breath. "What did you do before you stepped onto the porch?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just black."
"Go back." She gave him time to get back in the moment. "What's the last thing that happened before you stepped onto the porch?"
Lisa felt a force press her back into her chair; when she opened her eyes she found herself in a dark tunnel, the walls glowing and oozing like they were inside a volcano and the heat of the place making her skin feel like it was about to blister. She saw Castiel in front of her, blood streaming down his face. "Sam, I said go," he growled out, shoving her forward and Lisa realized this was what they'd been looking for. "I'm right behind you, stop turning---"
He screamed as he jerked backward, almost coming off his feet as something pulled him further back into the darkness. "Cas!" she heard Sam's voice cry out, feeling herself skid to a stop.
"Keep going, don't stop for me."
"Cas, I'm not leaving you here."
"They have me tethered," he spit out. "It took too long to separate the two of you, I knew it would. There's nothing else you can do, go." He let out another muffled groan and Lisa saw shadowy wings on the wall behind him, barely visible in the dim light and one of them twisted and broken.
"Cas, no."
"It's all right," he said, smiling despite the blood coming from his nose and mouth now, too. "I know I made the correct choice." He pressed one hand against her chest, the heat from the contact spreading through her. "That's your key. The door locks behind you." He turned around to face the light filling the tunnel like an oncoming train. "Go, Sam. I'll hold them off. I'll hold them all off."
Lisa felt herself jolt back to awareness like she'd been thrown from a moving car. She looked around the table and could tell at a glance everyone had felt that; Sam was staring blankly ahead, his own hand pressed against the handprint branded into his chest and Dean was pale as a ghost, his eyes wet and his hands curled into tight fists. "Stupid son of a bitch," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I told him I hadn't meant that, I told him."
"He said he could hold them off," Sam said, pure desperation in his voice. "Maybe...."
"No way," Dean said, shaking his head. "That's the exact same thing he told me right before Raphael blew him apart all over Chuck's fucking living room. And there's two of them now, he knew it was a done deal then and he knew it was the same thing all over, that's why he said it."
"I think we're done here," Holly said, reminding Lisa that she was still there. She stood up so quickly the chair tipped over and she didn't so much as attempt to pick it up before backing out of the room. "No charge. Lisa, Dylan and I will see you and Ben at practice, okay?"
Lisa didn't even watch her leave. "What do we do now, Dean?"
"Nothing to do. This is why none of the summonings worked, there was nothing left to summon."
"You sound like you want him to be dead," Sam said.
"Better that than trapped with Michael and Lucifer after busting you out, hell yeah. Damn right I hope they killed him quick." Dean stood up, waving off any attempt to come near him before anyone could so much as move. "I'm going out. I gotta...I don't know. I'll be back later."
The door slammed behind him and Lisa and Sam shared a look. "Follow him," she said.
Sam nodded. "I'm just giving him a head start." He shook his head, rubbing his chest. "I knew I'd have to make Dean promise not to do anything stupid but I never thought I'd have to worry about Cas doing it instead."
"It's not your fault," she said. Mostly because she believed to the core of her being that it was hers. "If there's a way we'll find it. Now go find Dean and make sure he gets home."
Sam nodded, grabbing his jacket and heading out.
Lisa sat in the dark room for the next few hours, trying to replay every word she'd ever heard Castiel say. There was something she was missing, some key, some code phrase one of them hadn't recognized at the time and that would be their way out.
There had to be.
***
Lisa watched the cows grazing in the farmland lining the side of the highway and drummed her heels against the car seat. They were going to get ice cream. Birthday ice cream. That was always the best kind of ice cream. And she was going to show the Dairy Queen lady her pretty music box and her grandmother let her ride in the front seat when her mom never let her do that because it wasn't safe. This was going to be the super best ice cream ever.
Lisa never recognized the accident dream as a dream when she was having it. It was a loose loop of memory that played a few times a year, a few minutes of her life she could just barely remember. The dream always ended just as they took the turn to merge onto the entrance ramp of the highway and then she would just wake up.
Except this time they reached the turn and the dream kept going. They pulled into the left lane of the highway, the fast lane, and Lisa had just opened the lid of her music box to watch the ballerina dance when she heard her grandmother make a sound. She looked up and saw her grandmother make a little breathy gasp for air and then slump over the wheel, her eyes fluttering closed. "Gamma?" she said as the car slowly started to veer off the road. "Are...are you okay?"
There was no answer and Lisa held on as the car jostled her almost out of the seat as they drove past the shoulder. "Gamma wake up, the car is broken." She screamed and squeezed her eyes shut as the car started barreling down the hill, heading right for two big trees with a house behind them. "Gamma!"
When she opened her eyes again she found herself standing by the side of the road right by that curve. She could see smoke starting to coil up from the side of the hill and turned away, hugging her music box against her chest and almost bumping into the man kneeling beside her. "Hello, Lisa," he said, his voice deep and scratchy; he was wearing a long coat even though it was the middle of summer and his brow furrowed when he looked at her. "Are you hurt?"
She shook her head and backed away. "I'm not 'sposed to talk to strangers."
"That seems very sensible."
He had very, very blue eyes. Lisa had never seen anyone with such blue eyes, like he was from a storybook. "Is my Gamma okay? We were getting ice cream."
He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry. You'll see her again but not for a very long time. You're going to have to be very brave about that." Lisa nodded, hugging her music box again. "The police will be here soon. I need you to stay right here and wait for them, all right? They'll take you home."
Lisa nodded again, sniffling, and he crouched closer. "Someone told me once you never throw anything away, not anything precious. Is that true?" Lisa just shrugged. She didn't have much but she didn't think she'd ever thrown anything away. "I need you to keep something safe for me. Something very precious," he said, pressing a small object into her hand. "Will you do that?"
She felt his hand shaking and squeezed her hand around his fingers. "Are you cold? You're all shivery."
"I'm about to do something that makes me very afraid."
"Big people don't get scared."
"Everyone is afraid sometimes." He kissed her forehead very gently. "Thank you."
Lisa jolted awake covered in sweat, her heart pounding so hard she felt lightheaded. She sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands as she shook.
She'd always had a weakness for a man with pretty eyes.
"Dean," she said, shaking him awake. "Dean, get up." It took a few minutes but he finally blinked at her, bleary-eyed and hung over. "Get up. Get everyone up," she said, feeling adrenaline start to flow through her veins. "I know what we have to do."
***
Lisa didn't know how she'd ever accumulated so much stuff. They were only halfway through sorting through the storage unit, it was already midday and Lisa was starting to lose faith. Just because she never parted with anything didn't mean her mother was the same way and she hadn't seen that music box in decades. It could have been absently-mindedly tossed out at any time before she'd finally moved everything out of her parents' old house, just one more unlabeled box in the the attic sold at a garage sale or even put out on the curb.
"Lise, tell me again what I'm looking for."
"It's a square music box, you opened it up and a ballerina spun around to Swan Lake. It should be with all my old stuff, we should have found it by now---"
"Mom! Mom, I think I found something!" She rushed over to find Ben lugging a box labeled "Lisa's Baby Things" from under a box of old records and a pile of college textbooks. Lisa gave him a quick hug and sat cross-legged as she rummaged through the box, pulling out a baby blanket and a car seat and her mother's baby book before finding a box wrapped in paper at the very bottom. Dean came over to look over her shoulder as she unwrapped the box and sat it in her lap, Sam and Ben crowding next to her. "What is it?" Dean said. "Why'd you bring us all the way out here to find this?"
Lisa opened the lid, not answering. She heard Dean gasp when she moved aside some old birthday cards and plastic jewelry to pull out a single, long black feather. As they all watched it hovered over her palm, shining and iridescent in the cheap florescent lights. "Lise, where did you get that?"
She felt her heart drum against her chest as the feather began to slowly spin in the air like a compass needle. "Oh, you know me Dean," she said as it settled on pointing west, pulsing with soft while light. "Once someone gives me something I can never throw it away."
***
-On To Part 5-
-Back To Masterpost-
-Back To Part 3-
Author: misachan
Artist: chosenfire28
Fandom: Supernatural
Relationship(s)/Characters: Dean/Castiel/Lisa
Word Count: 3558
Rating: PG-13
Content Notes/Warnings: S6 AU; some sexual situations, a little voyeurism, rampant abuse of time travel
Summary: Five times Lisa Braeden met an angel of the Lord.
Lisa had no idea who could be ringing her doorbell at ten at night on a weekday. "Babe?" she said, promising that if this was someone selling anything she was going to get one of Dean's fancy knives. Two knives if it was someone from the PTA again. "You didn't order Chinese without telling me, did you?"
"Not tonight." Which she supposed explained why he was in her kitchen making a truly terrifying sandwich.
She steeled herself for ordering whoever it was out there to get the hell off her porch, taking a fortifying sip of wine before opening the door.
The glass fell from her hand completely forgotten when she saw Sam Winchester filling up her doorway. "Lisa? Hey," he said, leaning against the door like he didn't trust his legs to hold him up. "I...I don't know how I got here."
"Dean!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Dean, get out here now."
"Dean's here?"
"Of course Dean's here, come on, come on, get in here," she said, coaxing him inside. He stumbled over the doorway and she grabbed his arm. "Easy, easy, watch the glass. Please don't fall, I can't hold you up."
"I'm okay," he said, which was a complete lie but he was giving staying on his feet his best shot.
"Lise? What's up? Who was at the...." Dean stopped stock still in the middle of the room, like this was an illusion he thought would break if he moved. "Sammy?"
Lisa didn't think she'd ever seen two happier people in her life. "You did what I asked you to do."
She stepped back as Dean enveloped Sam in an enormous hug. "Promised you I would, didn't I?"
Lisa helped him get Sam over to the sofa; she heard Ben come galloping down the stairs and looked up."Mom? What's going on...Sam!"
"Baby, go find the nice duvet and put it on the bed in the guest room, okay?"
"But...."
She gave him her best do it look and he finally rolled his eyes and obeyed; the last thing Sam and Dean needed was dealing with anyone else, no matter how friendly the face.
Dean finished sitting Sam down, who looked like he would be happy to pass out right there. "Dude, what happened?" he said as Lisa sat herself in the chair next to them.
"I don't know. I wish I did. The last thing I remember is being in Stull, then I'm jumping into that hole...and that's it. The next thing I knew I was standing on the porch. Everything between is a blank."
"I mean...how do you feel? No hitchhikers?"
Lisa had no idea what that meant but Sam shook his head. "No. No, he's...I don't know, he's wherever he is. I feel fine. Tired. Really tired."
"C'mon, then," she said. "Up to the guest room with you." Dean was shaking so hard Lisa didn't think much of his chances of handling the stairs so she helped Sam up, giving Dean a stay there, I have this gesture. She managed to get Sam into the bedroom without any catastrophes and he collapsed on the bed, asleep before he even took off his shoes. She wrapped the duvet around him and crept back down the stairs, handing Dean a beer before sitting next to him. "He's fast asleep."
"My brother's okay," he said, holding the bottle like he'd forgotten what to do with it.
Lisa kissed his temple. "Now you're both okay."
He kissed her hard, pressing her back against the sofa. "Why, though? Good stuff just doesn't happen, Lise, it doesn't. Not to us."
"You'll find out. You will, but don't worry about it now. For once just be happy for five seconds, okay?"
Dean nodded, wrapping his arms around her.
***
Sam slept for two solid days until finally even Dean decided enough was enough. "C'mon, Sammy, up and at 'em. We gotta get you out of these clothes before you start getting rank. Lisa was even nice enough to go to the store for giants to get you some new duds." Sam grumbled and tried to bury his head under the pillow. "It's been two days, Sam. Get up or I'm gonna drag you to the hospital."
Lisa thought that was probably a lie but Sam seemed to think it was a plausible enough threat to turn over, taking two tries to sit up. She put the clothes bag on the floor as Dean continued waking Sam up. "You need a hand?"
"Nah, I've been getting this idiot dressed since I was four, I can do this in my sleep," he said, starting to tug off Sam's shirt. Lisa had just turned away to go back downstairs and start dinner when she heard Dean suck in a horrified breath. "Oh, fuck."
She turned to see Dean stagger back two steps and suddenly she could hear every word of that strange conversation she'd had with Castiel about regrets while Dean slept in vivid detail.
Against the side of Sam's chest like a brand was the raised impression of a hand print. Sam's eyes were wide with horror and Dean's hands curled into fists at his side, fury coming from him in waves. "Son of a bitch. The stupid son of a bitch. Swear to God, if there's anything left of him I'm gonna kill him myself."
***
Dean spent the rest of that day and most of the next trying to contact Castiel any way he could, from praying to compulsively dialing his phone in every church and graveyard and anywhere else he thought might give the call an edge to come through to finally shouting challenges and profanity at the sky. He got worked up to the point that Sam tried to calm him down, telling Lisa he was worried some less friendly angels (which to hear the two of them talk sounded like all of them) might come down to investigate but nothing happened. No angels appeared in balls of fire, no one worried about Castiel came down to find out what they knew. The sky was quiet and the world kept on spinning and it made Lisa so angry she couldn't put words to it. Someone besides them should be looking but whatever choice Castiel had made, he seemed to be alone in it.
Since wishful thinking seemed to be a lost cause Sam and Dean gave her and Ben a crash course in summoning rituals. Ben took to it like he'd been born to it, which terrified her more than she could say but she had to put that aside. She told herself that at least she'd finally found a way to get him to study; by the end of the week he was almost as proficient with the basic rituals as Sam, reading Latin like an old pro.
But nothing worked. Not the basic ones they let Ben help with while she looked on and not the dangerous ones they had to do alone in empty fields under full moons, armed with relics they'd had to drive all night to find, and with every failure she saw guilt turn the two of them inside out a little more.
Not that she didn't understand the feeling herself. One day Dean kicked the door open and all but threw Sam inside before storming upstairs; Sam's eye was swollen and as Lisa sat him down to put ice on it he told her Dean was upset because he'd gone to a crossroad - "Just for information."
That didn't seem to have worked either. "And you still don't remember anything?" she asked, helping him position the ice pack.
"Nothing. It's all still just a black hole. Cas must have done that on purpose, something must have happened he doesn't want me to remember."
Lisa sat in the chair opposite him, drumming her fingers against the kitchen table. "Maybe we should do something about that."
***
"Lisa, I don't know about this," Dean said, fidgeting in his seat at the table. "Last time we let a psychic anywhere near Cas bad stuff happened."
"Dean, for the last time, Holly's not a psychic, she's a licensed hypno-therapist," she said, sending an apologetic look to her friend sitting at the table opposite Sam. "And she specializes in repressed memories, she can help. Stop treating this like it's hocus pocus."
"I'd like it better if it was hocus pocus," he muttered back. "I trust hocus pocus."
"Lisa, it's okay," Holly said, looking first at her and then at Sam, who was looking more nervous by the second. "There's a lot of misinformation out there about hypnotism. Half of my clients come into my office thinking I'm going to make them cluck like chickens." She put a metronome on the table and started it rocking back and forth, provoking another scoff from Dean, which Holly completely ignored. "All right Sam, all hypnotism really means is a way to relax your mind. Memories are always there, just sometimes trauma can block the pathways we need to retrieve them. We're going to try to quiet some of your mind's defense mechanisms so we can unblock those pathways, all right? It's okay if it doesn't work the first time, it usually takes more than one session." Sam nodded and she folded her hands against the table. "Good. Now focus on the movement of the metronome. Shut out out everything except that and my voice." Sam nodded again and after a minute Lisa could see him visibly relax.
"You're doing very well. Now I'm going to count backwards from ten-" Lisa had to give Dean a warning look not to openly scoff again - "and then I'm going to ask you some questions. When I do I want you to say the first thought that comes into your mind, all right? Whatever it is. Even if it doesn't make sense to you. Do you understand?"
Sam nodded again, relaxing some more, and Holly began counting. When she reached one she said, "All right, Sam. Go back to standing on Lisa's front porch. What did you just finish doing?"
"I..." His forehead crinkled as he thought. "I was in a cemetery. I jumped."
"Go back to the porch. How did you get there?"
"I...it's just me jumping, I don't...."
"Breathe. Go back to standing on the porch," she said, and Lisa saw Sam nod. "Whenever you feel blocked, that's where I want you to go." He nodded again, letting out a deep breath. "What did you do before you stepped onto the porch?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just black."
"Go back." She gave him time to get back in the moment. "What's the last thing that happened before you stepped onto the porch?"
Lisa felt a force press her back into her chair; when she opened her eyes she found herself in a dark tunnel, the walls glowing and oozing like they were inside a volcano and the heat of the place making her skin feel like it was about to blister. She saw Castiel in front of her, blood streaming down his face. "Sam, I said go," he growled out, shoving her forward and Lisa realized this was what they'd been looking for. "I'm right behind you, stop turning---"
He screamed as he jerked backward, almost coming off his feet as something pulled him further back into the darkness. "Cas!" she heard Sam's voice cry out, feeling herself skid to a stop.
"Keep going, don't stop for me."
"Cas, I'm not leaving you here."
"They have me tethered," he spit out. "It took too long to separate the two of you, I knew it would. There's nothing else you can do, go." He let out another muffled groan and Lisa saw shadowy wings on the wall behind him, barely visible in the dim light and one of them twisted and broken.
"Cas, no."
"It's all right," he said, smiling despite the blood coming from his nose and mouth now, too. "I know I made the correct choice." He pressed one hand against her chest, the heat from the contact spreading through her. "That's your key. The door locks behind you." He turned around to face the light filling the tunnel like an oncoming train. "Go, Sam. I'll hold them off. I'll hold them all off."
Lisa felt herself jolt back to awareness like she'd been thrown from a moving car. She looked around the table and could tell at a glance everyone had felt that; Sam was staring blankly ahead, his own hand pressed against the handprint branded into his chest and Dean was pale as a ghost, his eyes wet and his hands curled into tight fists. "Stupid son of a bitch," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I told him I hadn't meant that, I told him."
"He said he could hold them off," Sam said, pure desperation in his voice. "Maybe...."
"No way," Dean said, shaking his head. "That's the exact same thing he told me right before Raphael blew him apart all over Chuck's fucking living room. And there's two of them now, he knew it was a done deal then and he knew it was the same thing all over, that's why he said it."
"I think we're done here," Holly said, reminding Lisa that she was still there. She stood up so quickly the chair tipped over and she didn't so much as attempt to pick it up before backing out of the room. "No charge. Lisa, Dylan and I will see you and Ben at practice, okay?"
Lisa didn't even watch her leave. "What do we do now, Dean?"
"Nothing to do. This is why none of the summonings worked, there was nothing left to summon."
"You sound like you want him to be dead," Sam said.
"Better that than trapped with Michael and Lucifer after busting you out, hell yeah. Damn right I hope they killed him quick." Dean stood up, waving off any attempt to come near him before anyone could so much as move. "I'm going out. I gotta...I don't know. I'll be back later."
The door slammed behind him and Lisa and Sam shared a look. "Follow him," she said.
Sam nodded. "I'm just giving him a head start." He shook his head, rubbing his chest. "I knew I'd have to make Dean promise not to do anything stupid but I never thought I'd have to worry about Cas doing it instead."
"It's not your fault," she said. Mostly because she believed to the core of her being that it was hers. "If there's a way we'll find it. Now go find Dean and make sure he gets home."
Sam nodded, grabbing his jacket and heading out.
Lisa sat in the dark room for the next few hours, trying to replay every word she'd ever heard Castiel say. There was something she was missing, some key, some code phrase one of them hadn't recognized at the time and that would be their way out.
There had to be.
***
Lisa watched the cows grazing in the farmland lining the side of the highway and drummed her heels against the car seat. They were going to get ice cream. Birthday ice cream. That was always the best kind of ice cream. And she was going to show the Dairy Queen lady her pretty music box and her grandmother let her ride in the front seat when her mom never let her do that because it wasn't safe. This was going to be the super best ice cream ever.
Lisa never recognized the accident dream as a dream when she was having it. It was a loose loop of memory that played a few times a year, a few minutes of her life she could just barely remember. The dream always ended just as they took the turn to merge onto the entrance ramp of the highway and then she would just wake up.
Except this time they reached the turn and the dream kept going. They pulled into the left lane of the highway, the fast lane, and Lisa had just opened the lid of her music box to watch the ballerina dance when she heard her grandmother make a sound. She looked up and saw her grandmother make a little breathy gasp for air and then slump over the wheel, her eyes fluttering closed. "Gamma?" she said as the car slowly started to veer off the road. "Are...are you okay?"
There was no answer and Lisa held on as the car jostled her almost out of the seat as they drove past the shoulder. "Gamma wake up, the car is broken." She screamed and squeezed her eyes shut as the car started barreling down the hill, heading right for two big trees with a house behind them. "Gamma!"
When she opened her eyes again she found herself standing by the side of the road right by that curve. She could see smoke starting to coil up from the side of the hill and turned away, hugging her music box against her chest and almost bumping into the man kneeling beside her. "Hello, Lisa," he said, his voice deep and scratchy; he was wearing a long coat even though it was the middle of summer and his brow furrowed when he looked at her. "Are you hurt?"
She shook her head and backed away. "I'm not 'sposed to talk to strangers."
"That seems very sensible."
He had very, very blue eyes. Lisa had never seen anyone with such blue eyes, like he was from a storybook. "Is my Gamma okay? We were getting ice cream."
He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry. You'll see her again but not for a very long time. You're going to have to be very brave about that." Lisa nodded, hugging her music box again. "The police will be here soon. I need you to stay right here and wait for them, all right? They'll take you home."
Lisa nodded again, sniffling, and he crouched closer. "Someone told me once you never throw anything away, not anything precious. Is that true?" Lisa just shrugged. She didn't have much but she didn't think she'd ever thrown anything away. "I need you to keep something safe for me. Something very precious," he said, pressing a small object into her hand. "Will you do that?"
She felt his hand shaking and squeezed her hand around his fingers. "Are you cold? You're all shivery."
"I'm about to do something that makes me very afraid."
"Big people don't get scared."
"Everyone is afraid sometimes." He kissed her forehead very gently. "Thank you."
Lisa jolted awake covered in sweat, her heart pounding so hard she felt lightheaded. She sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands as she shook.
She'd always had a weakness for a man with pretty eyes.
"Dean," she said, shaking him awake. "Dean, get up." It took a few minutes but he finally blinked at her, bleary-eyed and hung over. "Get up. Get everyone up," she said, feeling adrenaline start to flow through her veins. "I know what we have to do."
***
Lisa didn't know how she'd ever accumulated so much stuff. They were only halfway through sorting through the storage unit, it was already midday and Lisa was starting to lose faith. Just because she never parted with anything didn't mean her mother was the same way and she hadn't seen that music box in decades. It could have been absently-mindedly tossed out at any time before she'd finally moved everything out of her parents' old house, just one more unlabeled box in the the attic sold at a garage sale or even put out on the curb.
"Lise, tell me again what I'm looking for."
"It's a square music box, you opened it up and a ballerina spun around to Swan Lake. It should be with all my old stuff, we should have found it by now---"
"Mom! Mom, I think I found something!" She rushed over to find Ben lugging a box labeled "Lisa's Baby Things" from under a box of old records and a pile of college textbooks. Lisa gave him a quick hug and sat cross-legged as she rummaged through the box, pulling out a baby blanket and a car seat and her mother's baby book before finding a box wrapped in paper at the very bottom. Dean came over to look over her shoulder as she unwrapped the box and sat it in her lap, Sam and Ben crowding next to her. "What is it?" Dean said. "Why'd you bring us all the way out here to find this?"
Lisa opened the lid, not answering. She heard Dean gasp when she moved aside some old birthday cards and plastic jewelry to pull out a single, long black feather. As they all watched it hovered over her palm, shining and iridescent in the cheap florescent lights. "Lise, where did you get that?"
She felt her heart drum against her chest as the feather began to slowly spin in the air like a compass needle. "Oh, you know me Dean," she said as it settled on pointing west, pulsing with soft while light. "Once someone gives me something I can never throw it away."
***
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