"Kayaking, or 'God's Own Anointed Pasttime' as anyone who's anyone knows it by, has a long and storied history. Still referred to in even this modern day and age as "The Sport of Danish Kings, And Of Scoundrels, And Of Those Who Are President Of The Americas", it has been enjoyed solely by the pure of heart, the fierce of spirit, and the divine of purpose since time immemorial. There is almost full and completely substantiated proof that Ghandi kayaked down the Ganges, and that Caesar crossed the Rubicon in a crude, proto-Kayak of his own design. Even histories greatest scientific rivials, Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla enjoyed the sport of sports.
When we look back upon the breadth of ages, we find that among all of histories greatest monsters, narry a one was a kayaker. Adolf Hiter...not a kayaker. Atilla the Hun? Once attempted it, fell into the Yellow River, and declared a deep and abiding hatred for the pasttime. Charles Manson was reputed to be a kayaker, but as every schoolchild today knows, that was merely the product of scandalous rumors put forth by the jealous and vindictive forces of the Anti-Kayaking Association.
Look for kayaking at the beach! In your schools! At church! Wherever good times are had by all!"
When we look back upon the breadth of ages, we find that among all of histories greatest monsters, narry a one was a kayaker. Adolf Hiter...not a kayaker. Atilla the Hun? Once attempted it, fell into the Yellow River, and declared a deep and abiding hatred for the pasttime. Charles Manson was reputed to be a kayaker, but as every schoolchild today knows, that was merely the product of scandalous rumors put forth by the jealous and vindictive forces of the Anti-Kayaking Association.
Look for kayaking at the beach! In your schools! At church! Wherever good times are had by all!"
- The Kayak: The REAL Chariot of the Gods, page 2
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