i'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls
Last week's events...
Tuesday: Drove to Flint. We went to a rest stop on the way there. The term "rest area" is a misnomer. There is NOTHING restful about a room full of unflushed dumps and the constant fear of trucker molestation. We got to Kettering and visited Sandya. I think it was fun but I don't really remember; supposedly we puhleezed people left and right. I re-met that boy who I shoved violently out of Sod's car.
Thursday: Carolyn mysteriously appeared at my front door. I made a batch of coconut cookies (sad, disfigured ones). The only recipe ingredients were coconut flakes and milk, which seemed kind of suspicious, but I baked them anyway and they were these sorry flat little burnt things. They were so emo. I felt like a failure.
Then I stole the baby Jesus from my mom's nativity set and visited Captain Stumpy in Canton. I ate so many Ringpops that my lips were blue for the next two days. Her friends came over and I fled in terror.
Friday: I went out to breakfast with my parents. My dad was babbling about cars and he said "I need to change the dope in your rear end."
My mom confronted me about the abduction of baby Jesus. I told her that He wouldn't be born until the 25th so she should just CALM DOWN. My grandpa got angry and threatened to switch religions if He didn't reappear.
I went to Blake's house and listened to his mom lecture about Other People's Failing Marriages and The Many Creeps Who Have Hit On Me. It was hilarious. Valerie brought over some Chaldean boyfriendish fellow. We watched a crappy movie and ate generic-brand Cheezits that were surprisingly addictive.
Saturday: My parents went to a Tiso party. Blake, Val and Genna came over. We obsessed over old (like, 5th grade) yearbook photos. Bowlcuts and baby fat galore.
Yesterday: A scary man called my cell phone claiming to be my Uncle Phil, who is dead. I laughed and hung up.
I did some Christmas shopping with Blake. Also, I rushed to Walgreens and bought that "Finishing Touch" thing. Damn peer pressure- it was a disappointment. I got my sister a giant box of makeup. Now she has billions of options when she wants to look like a tart. I got my brother a travel case for his Gameboy Advance. It's starting to resemble a fanny pack, so I might return it. We stayed up until 2 watching "Donnie Darko" and the Ninja Turtles movie.
And that brings us to now. I need to finish shopping and there are tons of movies I want to see, so if anyone wants to hang out give me a call.
Tuesday: Drove to Flint. We went to a rest stop on the way there. The term "rest area" is a misnomer. There is NOTHING restful about a room full of unflushed dumps and the constant fear of trucker molestation. We got to Kettering and visited Sandya. I think it was fun but I don't really remember; supposedly we puhleezed people left and right. I re-met that boy who I shoved violently out of Sod's car.
Thursday: Carolyn mysteriously appeared at my front door. I made a batch of coconut cookies (sad, disfigured ones). The only recipe ingredients were coconut flakes and milk, which seemed kind of suspicious, but I baked them anyway and they were these sorry flat little burnt things. They were so emo. I felt like a failure.
Then I stole the baby Jesus from my mom's nativity set and visited Captain Stumpy in Canton. I ate so many Ringpops that my lips were blue for the next two days. Her friends came over and I fled in terror.
Friday: I went out to breakfast with my parents. My dad was babbling about cars and he said "I need to change the dope in your rear end."
My mom confronted me about the abduction of baby Jesus. I told her that He wouldn't be born until the 25th so she should just CALM DOWN. My grandpa got angry and threatened to switch religions if He didn't reappear.
I went to Blake's house and listened to his mom lecture about Other People's Failing Marriages and The Many Creeps Who Have Hit On Me. It was hilarious. Valerie brought over some Chaldean boyfriendish fellow. We watched a crappy movie and ate generic-brand Cheezits that were surprisingly addictive.
Saturday: My parents went to a Tiso party. Blake, Val and Genna came over. We obsessed over old (like, 5th grade) yearbook photos. Bowlcuts and baby fat galore.
Yesterday: A scary man called my cell phone claiming to be my Uncle Phil, who is dead. I laughed and hung up.
I did some Christmas shopping with Blake. Also, I rushed to Walgreens and bought that "Finishing Touch" thing. Damn peer pressure- it was a disappointment. I got my sister a giant box of makeup. Now she has billions of options when she wants to look like a tart. I got my brother a travel case for his Gameboy Advance. It's starting to resemble a fanny pack, so I might return it. We stayed up until 2 watching "Donnie Darko" and the Ninja Turtles movie.
And that brings us to now. I need to finish shopping and there are tons of movies I want to see, so if anyone wants to hang out give me a call.