(no subject)
I'm being murdered in my sleep again. Let joy be unconfined. Still in vivid detail, yes. I found a new trigger for it, which is where I think set them off again: animated violence. I did wonder if I'd be able to get away with anime which likes to gore the place up a bit sometimes, but alas. Obviously it still has to be "realistic" - I'm not saying watching Tom & Jerry will send the heebiejeebies dancing through my brain, but anything stylised and grown-up will. This is why my watching Evangelion all the way through again failed. I can't. Christ only knows what THAT clusterfuck would trigger.
The thing that I'm curious about is where on earth in the depths of my brain this violence is hiding. Where's it getting such vivid pictures from? What's fuelling them? The obvious candidates are anger and/or fear, but I haven't had an excess of either lately. I wish I understood where they're starting from. If I've dealt with so much past horror already, why are they still here? Tricksy infuriating things.
Vertigo isn't too snazzy at the minute either. I'm going to blame the weather, as it's getting cooler and cold weather sets it going like a monkey with a miniature cymbal. I thought for sure flying at the weekend would completely knacker my ears but it didn't seem to make the slightest difference - two incidents where it was freezing cold resulted in wooziness though. Looks like it's a winter of hats and earmuffs again, then. I don't mind this, especially not hats because hats are ace, but obviously I'd rather NOT have a condition triggered by cold weather while living in a province with Northern in its name.
Mood's alright. Energy needs more caffeine to stay decent than it did before, which is unsatisfactory. Eh. It could be better, but it could be a hell of a lot worse.
The thing that I'm curious about is where on earth in the depths of my brain this violence is hiding. Where's it getting such vivid pictures from? What's fuelling them? The obvious candidates are anger and/or fear, but I haven't had an excess of either lately. I wish I understood where they're starting from. If I've dealt with so much past horror already, why are they still here? Tricksy infuriating things.
Vertigo isn't too snazzy at the minute either. I'm going to blame the weather, as it's getting cooler and cold weather sets it going like a monkey with a miniature cymbal. I thought for sure flying at the weekend would completely knacker my ears but it didn't seem to make the slightest difference - two incidents where it was freezing cold resulted in wooziness though. Looks like it's a winter of hats and earmuffs again, then. I don't mind this, especially not hats because hats are ace, but obviously I'd rather NOT have a condition triggered by cold weather while living in a province with Northern in its name.
Mood's alright. Energy needs more caffeine to stay decent than it did before, which is unsatisfactory. Eh. It could be better, but it could be a hell of a lot worse.