friends
I dont know why I am so paranoid about my girl friends. Its like I always think I'm missing something and they are all having a great time without me. I feel like every time I am alone I freak out because I feel like they are all out without me. I'm so tired of wearing myself out over this because almost all the time...they arent even together!! I think its all because of my past childhood. I was put in this same situation every single day for about 4 years so no wonder I'm like this. I just need to learn that I am loved by them and they arent out to make me feel miserable. I am working on being more centered in who I am. Lets see....Nate and I are doing well. We went to the air show a couple days ago and I got to see all the things that Nate does while in the Air Force. It was such a new experience for me and I was excited to share the experience with him. He fits in so well with the family too. They love him. We have our ups and downs but we are learning more and more about each other every day which makes us stronger. Lol, but who can blame him? I'm changing who I am every day. I feel like I'm starting over in life and I'm learning character qualities that I want to take with me. He is helping me discover them but it just sucks being 19 and learning things I should have learned in Jr. High. I wish I could just be confident in my qualitites and learn to love myself. Sooner or later I"m sure this will happen, Every day is so frickin hard but I keep pushing because someday it will get easier....i just hope its soon!!