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I'm satisfied with my daily life, and i'm happy day to day as long as I do what I want to do. Then you ask me the question, if your already satisfied with that what is the need for a girlfriend? And the question runs through my mind....am I lonely....I want that significant other near me? What does she offer me? Comfort, Care, kindness, affection. It's all nice.....and I thought a relationship would do good for me ya know...First one and all to say. It was much more tedious than I thought, and then I figured maybe a relationship wasn't the type for me? I'm too flirty? Love to many woman? I'm no pimp and player, but you are limited to what you can do when you are 'tied down' in a relationship. I can't even dance with other woman at the point, she's extremely territorial. Regardless....things that I don't care for, or wouldn't bother me, bothers her......and I hear it on the other end. It's like...so many things....calling...time...chilling....I mean I should be doing that...I should want to see her...talk to her...do things with her right? It's not like i'm getting any play either, so sex life is bad....and I've been looking for a girl I can just have it with so...it's like she didn't meet me on that ends and that is where I was disappointed, I don't even want to make out because of it b ecause it won't lead anywhere. Experience is good though right? She likes to dry sex, she gets off somehow doing her thing, nothing on my end.....even when she attempts....it's the lack of experience on her end that leaves me short. I suppose I'm a quick learner? It's just knowing i'm limited with her I guess...
It leads me to thing...why am I in this relationship.....maybe she's doing too much...and i'm not throwing effort back.....so I should let her be happy with someone else....but what if I still make her happy...and i'm not happy on my end...? I'm more confused on getting my thoughts straight and what I feel that I am on reading anybody elses, which is ironic. Was I always hesitate to pour out feeling sbecause in reality I'm the one who is supposed to be that stable guy, chillax, no emotional problems, no drama...not saying that it is...but it can be.....
Then a part of me says...hey i'm young....., I am also loyal on ends.....but i'm not getting what...I want....not saying that's all I want ya know...because it's not, but it's part of me unsatisfied, something that my girl shoudl be doing, to make me happy ya know. It's something like that that brings me to the conclusion of just wanting to have an affair...strictly based upon infatuation....sex friend so to say. But that's not right is it? Morals come into play. When it comes to a relationship it just may be my inexperience of having them....or just that i'm too young to have one....I want to hop to girl to girl...I want to play the field....and have the girls play the field on me too......It's like...I don't want to miss that experience...I mean i'm in college, i'm seeing a bunch of girls..a.nd once that's done it's over...theres not another college year.....and here is one year gone. I just really.....sadly....but honestly....wanted some experience....in knowing how to do things.....so I could do it with other girls....and that just may be the most evil selfish thing i've said...and you know....it's not like....it's my intention.....and....i'm not a bad guy...but I know that's a bad thought....or thing to do...I'm...I just don't know really. ~ Feedback? i'd love to hear it. Thanks for hearing me out.....
It leads me to thing...why am I in this relationship.....maybe she's doing too much...and i'm not throwing effort back.....so I should let her be happy with someone else....but what if I still make her happy...and i'm not happy on my end...? I'm more confused on getting my thoughts straight and what I feel that I am on reading anybody elses, which is ironic. Was I always hesitate to pour out feeling sbecause in reality I'm the one who is supposed to be that stable guy, chillax, no emotional problems, no drama...not saying that it is...but it can be.....
Then a part of me says...hey i'm young....., I am also loyal on ends.....but i'm not getting what...I want....not saying that's all I want ya know...because it's not, but it's part of me unsatisfied, something that my girl shoudl be doing, to make me happy ya know. It's something like that that brings me to the conclusion of just wanting to have an affair...strictly based upon infatuation....sex friend so to say. But that's not right is it? Morals come into play. When it comes to a relationship it just may be my inexperience of having them....or just that i'm too young to have one....I want to hop to girl to girl...I want to play the field....and have the girls play the field on me too......It's like...I don't want to miss that experience...I mean i'm in college, i'm seeing a bunch of girls..a.nd once that's done it's over...theres not another college year.....and here is one year gone. I just really.....sadly....but honestly....wanted some experience....in knowing how to do things.....so I could do it with other girls....and that just may be the most evil selfish thing i've said...and you know....it's not like....it's my intention.....and....i'm not a bad guy...but I know that's a bad thought....or thing to do...I'm...I just don't know really. ~ Feedback? i'd love to hear it. Thanks for hearing me out.....