blabbering
First lessons of the new semester :) but Mr. D was sick [again] :( so it wasn't that much fun as always.. and with everything that happens here I was not in the mood for anything.. I don't remember when I cried that much last time.. I'm bad at serious talks ;) because I don't know what I want.. and/or how to do some life-things ;) I've always known that.. somehow I managed earlier but now it's not so easy it seems.. Like everyone I'm afraid of change.. well.. not the exact change but the whole process before it.. like with changing jobs - the whole process with searching, waiting, and interviewing.. is more scary than actual first day at that new job.. and I *like* people here :) but the living arrangements are getting worse.. and as I'm trying to save some - it's keeping me from moving out.. but it seems that I'll have to change to be that someone else - more brave and open to the world.. can I do it?
this weekend really was whole with ups and downs.. really.. - one time I'm laughing.. the other crying.. very strange..
the brightest point was when Mr. D almost said the L word :) I remember his surprised face as was mine and laughing inside and outside as I was told before that we are similar and now he does this when I caught myself thinking the same some time ago.. I thought it unbelievable.. still it's a surprise and I'm amazed.. he even said that he'll take me in if it would be needed.......
this weekend really was whole with ups and downs.. really.. - one time I'm laughing.. the other crying.. very strange..
the brightest point was when Mr. D almost said the L word :) I remember his surprised face as was mine and laughing inside and outside as I was told before that we are similar and now he does this when I caught myself thinking the same some time ago.. I thought it unbelievable.. still it's a surprise and I'm amazed.. he even said that he'll take me in if it would be needed.......