I should be choosing classes...
But, first, I need a major. And, I really, REALLY despise paperwork (one of the few goals I have in life is to get through it with as little paperwork as humanly possible), so whatever I choose, that's it; there won't be any going back. However, this has to be a practical major. This ABSOLUTELY has to be something that I can use once I'm out of college and thrust into the real world, because, otherwise, why the fuck am I wasting my time and money trying to get it? In other words, I need a career path, and I need it now.
But, see, there's one huge, glaring problem: I haven't got a fucking clue what I want to do. No, seriously, folks, I really, truly and honestly DON'T KNOW. There is nothing that I have any pressing desire to go into. When I was younger and idealistic, I wanted to be a doctor. That was all I wanted, and I structured my entire academic life with that career goal and ONLY that career goal in mind. Then I got to college, which shattered THAT little pipe dream into pixy dust. I look at the fact that it still lists me as "Pre-med," scoff and say "Fuck that shit. It's not worth it to even bother trying for at this point." Unfortunately, I never had a backup plan, so here I am, a jaded sophomore, with no fucking direction in life.
Well, you say, if not a doctor, then why not something else in the medical field? WERE YOU NOT LISTENING?! It says "Pre-med," which is a blanket medical category, and I no longer want anything to do with it whatsoever. Get your doctors, nurses and techs from somewhere else, I'm not doing it. For that matter, I don't want to have anything to do with ANY scientific field. I hate working with science, and I do not function well in it under pressure. This primarily stems from my extreme hatred for math, and I do mean an extreme hatred for it. No science and no numbers, or my workplace will be flooded with blood on my first day on the job.
My mom thinks I should be a teacher. I REFUSE. No, no, no, dear-fucking-Goddess NO! I value education in society, but I do NOT want to be a part of it. You canNOT convince me it's worth it. Hell, you couldn't get me to enter a career in academia even if it meant having my liver ripped out by wild rabid bunnies; I don't care if I would be good at it or not.
Well, okay, you say, what do you have the most credits in now to make the transition into having a major easiest? Aside from science (*stabbityfuckingSTAB!*) credits, that'd probably be French. Oh! you say, major in that! Well, fine and dandy, bucko, but what the hell am I going to do with a BA (and, yes, whatever I choose, it WILL be a Bachelors of Arts. I've decided that much) in French? I'm not teaching, and, while I don't mind vacationing and am not opposed to moving out of the United States, I have no desire to do much traveling, and politics disgust me. So, what the hell's left that won't leave me having to decide between paying for shelter or paying for food? Tell me THAT, why don't you?
Have you considered English? You're always reminding us you're a grammar Nazi, after all. See above, fucktard. What the hell am I going to do with an English BA? Become a writer? FUCK no! If that's what I planned on doing, I wouldn't be in college! I'd be spending all my time writing when I wasn't working a day job. Also, I don't really want to go into the journalism field. I had a taste of it in high school, and, while it wasn't bad, that's not how I want to live several decades of my life.
In that case, what about hobbies and interests? Could you make a career out of those? Listen here, jackass, they're HOBBIES. They're hobbies for a REASON, and, no, I'm NOT obligated to tell you what that reason is. Assuming I don't drop them in the future, I don't want them to be anything BUT hobbies! In any case, once again, if I'm going to turn a hobby into a career, then why the fuck am I wasting resources at college instead of focusing on it?! Besides, with most of my hobbies require "being discovered" to at least some degree, and with my talent in them, I'd end up starving before THAT ever happened.
Fuck it. I'll just drop out, marry for money and make a career out of being a baby factory and domestic goddess. -_-
But, see, there's one huge, glaring problem: I haven't got a fucking clue what I want to do. No, seriously, folks, I really, truly and honestly DON'T KNOW. There is nothing that I have any pressing desire to go into. When I was younger and idealistic, I wanted to be a doctor. That was all I wanted, and I structured my entire academic life with that career goal and ONLY that career goal in mind. Then I got to college, which shattered THAT little pipe dream into pixy dust. I look at the fact that it still lists me as "Pre-med," scoff and say "Fuck that shit. It's not worth it to even bother trying for at this point." Unfortunately, I never had a backup plan, so here I am, a jaded sophomore, with no fucking direction in life.
Well, you say, if not a doctor, then why not something else in the medical field? WERE YOU NOT LISTENING?! It says "Pre-med," which is a blanket medical category, and I no longer want anything to do with it whatsoever. Get your doctors, nurses and techs from somewhere else, I'm not doing it. For that matter, I don't want to have anything to do with ANY scientific field. I hate working with science, and I do not function well in it under pressure. This primarily stems from my extreme hatred for math, and I do mean an extreme hatred for it. No science and no numbers, or my workplace will be flooded with blood on my first day on the job.
My mom thinks I should be a teacher. I REFUSE. No, no, no, dear-fucking-Goddess NO! I value education in society, but I do NOT want to be a part of it. You canNOT convince me it's worth it. Hell, you couldn't get me to enter a career in academia even if it meant having my liver ripped out by wild rabid bunnies; I don't care if I would be good at it or not.
Well, okay, you say, what do you have the most credits in now to make the transition into having a major easiest? Aside from science (*stabbityfuckingSTAB!*) credits, that'd probably be French. Oh! you say, major in that! Well, fine and dandy, bucko, but what the hell am I going to do with a BA (and, yes, whatever I choose, it WILL be a Bachelors of Arts. I've decided that much) in French? I'm not teaching, and, while I don't mind vacationing and am not opposed to moving out of the United States, I have no desire to do much traveling, and politics disgust me. So, what the hell's left that won't leave me having to decide between paying for shelter or paying for food? Tell me THAT, why don't you?
Have you considered English? You're always reminding us you're a grammar Nazi, after all. See above, fucktard. What the hell am I going to do with an English BA? Become a writer? FUCK no! If that's what I planned on doing, I wouldn't be in college! I'd be spending all my time writing when I wasn't working a day job. Also, I don't really want to go into the journalism field. I had a taste of it in high school, and, while it wasn't bad, that's not how I want to live several decades of my life.
In that case, what about hobbies and interests? Could you make a career out of those? Listen here, jackass, they're HOBBIES. They're hobbies for a REASON, and, no, I'm NOT obligated to tell you what that reason is. Assuming I don't drop them in the future, I don't want them to be anything BUT hobbies! In any case, once again, if I'm going to turn a hobby into a career, then why the fuck am I wasting resources at college instead of focusing on it?! Besides, with most of my hobbies require "being discovered" to at least some degree, and with my talent in them, I'd end up starving before THAT ever happened.
Fuck it. I'll just drop out, marry for money and make a career out of being a baby factory and domestic goddess. -_-