RIP Craig Houston
From facebook, posted early sunday morning as i was still reeling from the news:
He died at 11:30 last night. he'd left madison at 10, and it was around 11L30-12 that the pit of my stomach told me something was wrong & I started to worry, started to see if I could look up real time accident reports online... if I hadn't been stopped by a cop for a busted tailight while I was trying to retrace his route, i would never have known for sure that yes, he had an accident, and where. at the scene they told me nothing, so I followed the cops to his parents' house & found out with them at 3 am this morning.
i just don't even know what to say. I'm in shock. I can't believe the love of my life, someone I was sure I could spend forever with, is dead. on a routine trip to see me. that he only made because i'd been so down and forthcoming about how shitty my night had been, and because he insisted it would be ok. he wanted to hold me, comfort me, help me get shit together at my house before i had to slog through things in marinette, but he never got the chance. and i gave him a wimpy goodbye hug & kiss when I left madison, never ever realizing something so final could happen at any moment.
i loved him so much. i missed him terribly even when he was in madison & i was in appleton, but now I will miss him forever. I will never get to hold his hand again, never get to tell him anything, never get to kiss his lips, never again look into his left eye like it reflected all of my secrets back to me... i just can't believe he's gone. no ones arms will ever feel the same. no ones words will comfort like his. no ones instincts will seek to protect me like he did. He was only 20, and i'm disgusted with the world. fuck me and my bawling - it's simply unfair to him. he was so good and now he's been cut out of anything that ever could be.
he was absolutely beautiful in every way, and i cherished every bit of him - even the parts he hated and was afraid of, I knew they weren't that bad & showed him that every chance I got. he was perfect and complete to me, and he made me feel like no one else ever has. he conjured feelings i thought were long dead & made me believe in the kind of deep romance that inspires the most beautiful art. we laughed and cried together like I'd not done with anyone before. he truly was special and i always had no idea what i did to deserve his devotion.
I am only thankful for 3 things: everything I learned from him & all the ways he changed me, the time we spent together & the fact that this last week was purely amazing, and the fact that he promised he'd love me forever, and has. everything else hurts. absolutely everything.
He died at 11:30 last night. he'd left madison at 10, and it was around 11L30-12 that the pit of my stomach told me something was wrong & I started to worry, started to see if I could look up real time accident reports online... if I hadn't been stopped by a cop for a busted tailight while I was trying to retrace his route, i would never have known for sure that yes, he had an accident, and where. at the scene they told me nothing, so I followed the cops to his parents' house & found out with them at 3 am this morning.
i just don't even know what to say. I'm in shock. I can't believe the love of my life, someone I was sure I could spend forever with, is dead. on a routine trip to see me. that he only made because i'd been so down and forthcoming about how shitty my night had been, and because he insisted it would be ok. he wanted to hold me, comfort me, help me get shit together at my house before i had to slog through things in marinette, but he never got the chance. and i gave him a wimpy goodbye hug & kiss when I left madison, never ever realizing something so final could happen at any moment.
i loved him so much. i missed him terribly even when he was in madison & i was in appleton, but now I will miss him forever. I will never get to hold his hand again, never get to tell him anything, never get to kiss his lips, never again look into his left eye like it reflected all of my secrets back to me... i just can't believe he's gone. no ones arms will ever feel the same. no ones words will comfort like his. no ones instincts will seek to protect me like he did. He was only 20, and i'm disgusted with the world. fuck me and my bawling - it's simply unfair to him. he was so good and now he's been cut out of anything that ever could be.
he was absolutely beautiful in every way, and i cherished every bit of him - even the parts he hated and was afraid of, I knew they weren't that bad & showed him that every chance I got. he was perfect and complete to me, and he made me feel like no one else ever has. he conjured feelings i thought were long dead & made me believe in the kind of deep romance that inspires the most beautiful art. we laughed and cried together like I'd not done with anyone before. he truly was special and i always had no idea what i did to deserve his devotion.
I am only thankful for 3 things: everything I learned from him & all the ways he changed me, the time we spent together & the fact that this last week was purely amazing, and the fact that he promised he'd love me forever, and has. everything else hurts. absolutely everything.