a fairly crappy day
fairky crappy day today. I blew up at Hadas twice. In the morning for grizzling round my ankle while expecting me to be her servant "Ima, up, carry me, I need toilet, my nose needs wiping, Ima I've finished... Ima waaah!"
I walked out on her. Told her I was leaving and walked out. First time I've ever done it. I'm not particularly proud of it, I dont want her to think she'll be abandoned in life if she doesnt do what other want her to do. but... it was that or hurt her.
and then tonight she took my watch, stood on it and threw it behind the oven. I asked her, nicely, to go get it. I explained to her that this had been my grandmother's watch and it was important to me that it doesnt get broken. No response, after a few minutes of miss nice - and this was at bedtime, I asked her if she wanted a smack or me to walk out again. No response. So I did the really mature thing and cried and ran to my bed.
She came and cried next to me. But then she found some stars I'd bought her today and they were much more in interesting than a very sad mummy, So she played with them instead. I tried to interest her in saying sorry - but nothing.
So now I'm left with a headache. And I'm trying to figure out: Have I created a monster. Are three year olds not mature enough to recognise emotions in others? To relate it to themselves.
Sigh, I need to have a new purpose in life. Other than child rearing.
And I'm scared that there are gonna be 30 days straight like this when Daniel goes on reserve duty next month. Just the two of us...
Good night
I walked out on her. Told her I was leaving and walked out. First time I've ever done it. I'm not particularly proud of it, I dont want her to think she'll be abandoned in life if she doesnt do what other want her to do. but... it was that or hurt her.
and then tonight she took my watch, stood on it and threw it behind the oven. I asked her, nicely, to go get it. I explained to her that this had been my grandmother's watch and it was important to me that it doesnt get broken. No response, after a few minutes of miss nice - and this was at bedtime, I asked her if she wanted a smack or me to walk out again. No response. So I did the really mature thing and cried and ran to my bed.
She came and cried next to me. But then she found some stars I'd bought her today and they were much more in interesting than a very sad mummy, So she played with them instead. I tried to interest her in saying sorry - but nothing.
So now I'm left with a headache. And I'm trying to figure out: Have I created a monster. Are three year olds not mature enough to recognise emotions in others? To relate it to themselves.
Sigh, I need to have a new purpose in life. Other than child rearing.
And I'm scared that there are gonna be 30 days straight like this when Daniel goes on reserve duty next month. Just the two of us...
Good night