My Journey: Writing Improvements (2007 - 2014)
Just something fun for me to look at. It surprises me how I have slowly improved throughout the years even though I don't remember changing how I write or think at all. =/
2007
Description:
I wrote a few scripts/manuscripts for a few years before this, but they were centered around my friends. I didn't actually "write" with all the dialogues and descriptions until this year. As you can tell by the excerpt below, I wasn't very good with my sentence structures and descriptions.
Excerpt from "Someone To Love Me" (DN Angel):
Daisuke came into class. Riku looked up and blushed. There, the object of her affection, came into the classroom, holding a bouquet of flowers. WHOA ... hold on there. Bouquet of flowers?
'Is that for me?' Riku thought. Daisuke looked over at her direction, but he wasn't looking at her. Daisuke was looking at Risa, her twin sister, his crush.
Riku readied herself to accept the bouquet from Daisuke, when she saw him go up to Risa, who sat next to her on the other side of the aisle.
"Wow! Is this for me?" Risa cried, taking the flowers that were handed to her by Daisuke,
"Thanks, Daisuke!"
2008
Description:
Still some trouble with description, but my sentence forming has improved just a bit.
Excerpt from "Goodbye My Friend" (Death Note):
That night in the dining room, Mello caught sight of the red head once again. He was sitting on the other side of the table at the end, eating slowly and very little. The red head got up suddenly, not catching everyone's attention and left the room. Mello stuffed the steak into his mouth and got up. In an instant, everyone's eyes traveled towards him.
'What the hell?' Mello thought, walking out of the room with their gazes still pinned on him.
"You're done already, Mello?" Watari wondered. Mello nodded and left after the red head. He followed the red head upstairs and hid behind a wall, peeking out when he saw the red head enter a room. The blond started out of the shadows when a hand on his shoulders stopped him. Mello turned around to see L.
2009
Description:
Starting to get the hang of writing in First POV and practicing more descriptive writing.
Excerpt from "The Attic Have Eyes" (Yu-Gi-OH!):
I stared down on him as he continues to sit there. Whatever expression he wore on that face of his, couldn't be seen by me. The only thing I could see what the top of his head and his lap. Boy, did I wish I could see his face right now. Would it be blushing? Would his face scrunch up in frustration? Well, anything other than a blank and mean look on Seto's face, the better.
After a few more minutes of staring, one of the maids called for Seto that dinner was ready. He let out another sigh before going into the bathroom for a quick shower to cool down from work. Minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom from his room and headed out the door. I scurried quietly up in the vents to the dining room area and it was a tight squeeze too.
The dead roaches were living up there for ages from what I can remember and since I was the only living inhabitant, I didn't bother to clean up. I got used to them over the years.
The meal between the two Kaiba brothers was of metal clinking and chewing. No conversation was needed until after they were done. Mokuba said his good night while still giving that smirk and ran up to his room. Seto let out a little chuckle before finishing his meal and letting the maid clean up after them.
I followed Seto from the dining room to the study across from his room and watched with interest as the older Kaiba typed mercilessly away on his computer; the computer screen bringing up documents, graphs, and pictures of his next business project.
2010
Description:
Still working on description, but has improved over the years. Although it was fun to write this original novel in one month.
Excerpt from "The Familiar Face" (Original Fiction):
"We wouldn't want you to escape now, would we? It'll be a pain to find such an alternative susceptible being, when you're already a prize winner," a man said with a throaty laugh.
Tachi narrowed his eyes in anger as the men began chanting in a foreign language all too new to him. They raised their hands to the sky, as if reaching for the bright full moon. A cloaked man stepped forward, brandishing a silver dagger from his cloak. Tachi squirmed at the sight of the silver metal as the item inched its way towards his heated flesh.
The cold metal touch, caused shivers to run up his arm and spread towards the rest of his body. The slight pressure of the blade against his skin, was enough to break the thin membrane and cause blood to bubble from the cut.
Tachi gasped in pain when the man did not withdraw his blade, instead, pressed the metal deeper into his arm and dragged the dagger downward, making a long, but deep gash. The cut bled heavily down his arm as the silver haired mage gasped in pain. He trembled even more in pain when the cloaked man brought his lips to the wound and lapped at the crimson blood.
2011
Description:
Still working on description.
Excerpt from "Yellow" (Fruits Basket):
When he was little, even before he ever met Akito and learned about the Zodiac curse, he had a life. It was a life that he wished, could have been around longer. He was free then and he was happy. His parents were happy as well, and it was a moment where he loved almost everybody, including that boy in yellow.
But now, with the curse and everybody hating him because he was an outcast, he had grown cold and frustrated with everyday life and his social skills plummeted to the point where one word out of his mouth, sent others cringing in fear. He didn't want to live this way, it wasn't his wish, but it was a curse of the Sohma. It was a curse that was placed unwillingly on him even before he was born. He hated it and it made him feel less loved.
Ever since he had heard the news of his horrible predicament, the boy in yellow seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth. It wasn't until a year later, at the meeting of all the zodiac hosts and the outcast, that he saw the figure of his affections; the boy in yellow. Just the other day, he had bought a yellow umbrella. But it wasn't because it was raining that day, instead it was because of the color itself. He wanted to be constantly reminded of the boy, giving him hope that one day he would see him, and he had finally met him once again.
2012
Description:
Still figuring out how to be descriptive, to have tone and a voice, etc.
Excerpt from "I Want To Save You" (DBSK):
I want to cleanse you of that taste, the essence of him in your body. I want to rid all the pleasures that he gave you and imprint my own being onto your tongue, onto your body and behind your eyelids. I want to be the meaning of your existence and your strength to move on forward. I want to be the everything that person used to be.
Jaejoong . . .
You used to say that he was manly, but the only person I see right in front of me, eyes closed to the world, is but a lost puppy. He is not strong at all and you took that away from him when you stepped out of his life. But it does not matter anymore, because I am here and I will make sure to bring him back as someone who is even better than what you carved him out to be.
2013
Description:
Excerpt from "In The Palm Of My Hand" (DBSK):
Jaejoong was tired of his mother's voice. He just wanted to help the bird, that was all. So why was she getting so worked up about him touching the thing?
"I'll wash up," Jaejoong gave in, pretending to push himself up when he heard his mother's retreating footsteps. His bright smile returned again when he bent down to pick up the one-winged bird, its beak flapping open and closed. He could see the little beady eyes watching him in fear.
He giggled when he felt the bird thrashing in the palm of his left hand, his right hand keeping tight on the bird's beak. The bird's other wing flapped helplessly, trying to scare him into dropping its body, but he wasn't affected at all. He was too intrigued by the bird's futile attempts to suck in a lungful of air.
"Come on, hurry up and die," Jaejoong giggled. A hand reached out and smacked at his hand again and the bird dropped heavily onto the pavement.
2014
Description:
Excerpt from
2007
Description:
I wrote a few scripts/manuscripts for a few years before this, but they were centered around my friends. I didn't actually "write" with all the dialogues and descriptions until this year. As you can tell by the excerpt below, I wasn't very good with my sentence structures and descriptions.
Excerpt from "Someone To Love Me" (DN Angel):
Daisuke came into class. Riku looked up and blushed. There, the object of her affection, came into the classroom, holding a bouquet of flowers. WHOA ... hold on there. Bouquet of flowers?
'Is that for me?' Riku thought. Daisuke looked over at her direction, but he wasn't looking at her. Daisuke was looking at Risa, her twin sister, his crush.
Riku readied herself to accept the bouquet from Daisuke, when she saw him go up to Risa, who sat next to her on the other side of the aisle.
"Wow! Is this for me?" Risa cried, taking the flowers that were handed to her by Daisuke,
"Thanks, Daisuke!"
2008
Description:
Still some trouble with description, but my sentence forming has improved just a bit.
Excerpt from "Goodbye My Friend" (Death Note):
That night in the dining room, Mello caught sight of the red head once again. He was sitting on the other side of the table at the end, eating slowly and very little. The red head got up suddenly, not catching everyone's attention and left the room. Mello stuffed the steak into his mouth and got up. In an instant, everyone's eyes traveled towards him.
'What the hell?' Mello thought, walking out of the room with their gazes still pinned on him.
"You're done already, Mello?" Watari wondered. Mello nodded and left after the red head. He followed the red head upstairs and hid behind a wall, peeking out when he saw the red head enter a room. The blond started out of the shadows when a hand on his shoulders stopped him. Mello turned around to see L.
2009
Description:
Starting to get the hang of writing in First POV and practicing more descriptive writing.
Excerpt from "The Attic Have Eyes" (Yu-Gi-OH!):
I stared down on him as he continues to sit there. Whatever expression he wore on that face of his, couldn't be seen by me. The only thing I could see what the top of his head and his lap. Boy, did I wish I could see his face right now. Would it be blushing? Would his face scrunch up in frustration? Well, anything other than a blank and mean look on Seto's face, the better.
After a few more minutes of staring, one of the maids called for Seto that dinner was ready. He let out another sigh before going into the bathroom for a quick shower to cool down from work. Minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom from his room and headed out the door. I scurried quietly up in the vents to the dining room area and it was a tight squeeze too.
The dead roaches were living up there for ages from what I can remember and since I was the only living inhabitant, I didn't bother to clean up. I got used to them over the years.
The meal between the two Kaiba brothers was of metal clinking and chewing. No conversation was needed until after they were done. Mokuba said his good night while still giving that smirk and ran up to his room. Seto let out a little chuckle before finishing his meal and letting the maid clean up after them.
I followed Seto from the dining room to the study across from his room and watched with interest as the older Kaiba typed mercilessly away on his computer; the computer screen bringing up documents, graphs, and pictures of his next business project.
2010
Description:
Still working on description, but has improved over the years. Although it was fun to write this original novel in one month.
Excerpt from "The Familiar Face" (Original Fiction):
"We wouldn't want you to escape now, would we? It'll be a pain to find such an alternative susceptible being, when you're already a prize winner," a man said with a throaty laugh.
Tachi narrowed his eyes in anger as the men began chanting in a foreign language all too new to him. They raised their hands to the sky, as if reaching for the bright full moon. A cloaked man stepped forward, brandishing a silver dagger from his cloak. Tachi squirmed at the sight of the silver metal as the item inched its way towards his heated flesh.
The cold metal touch, caused shivers to run up his arm and spread towards the rest of his body. The slight pressure of the blade against his skin, was enough to break the thin membrane and cause blood to bubble from the cut.
Tachi gasped in pain when the man did not withdraw his blade, instead, pressed the metal deeper into his arm and dragged the dagger downward, making a long, but deep gash. The cut bled heavily down his arm as the silver haired mage gasped in pain. He trembled even more in pain when the cloaked man brought his lips to the wound and lapped at the crimson blood.
2011
Description:
Still working on description.
Excerpt from "Yellow" (Fruits Basket):
When he was little, even before he ever met Akito and learned about the Zodiac curse, he had a life. It was a life that he wished, could have been around longer. He was free then and he was happy. His parents were happy as well, and it was a moment where he loved almost everybody, including that boy in yellow.
But now, with the curse and everybody hating him because he was an outcast, he had grown cold and frustrated with everyday life and his social skills plummeted to the point where one word out of his mouth, sent others cringing in fear. He didn't want to live this way, it wasn't his wish, but it was a curse of the Sohma. It was a curse that was placed unwillingly on him even before he was born. He hated it and it made him feel less loved.
Ever since he had heard the news of his horrible predicament, the boy in yellow seemed to have disappeared off the face of the Earth. It wasn't until a year later, at the meeting of all the zodiac hosts and the outcast, that he saw the figure of his affections; the boy in yellow. Just the other day, he had bought a yellow umbrella. But it wasn't because it was raining that day, instead it was because of the color itself. He wanted to be constantly reminded of the boy, giving him hope that one day he would see him, and he had finally met him once again.
2012
Description:
Still figuring out how to be descriptive, to have tone and a voice, etc.
Excerpt from "I Want To Save You" (DBSK):
I want to cleanse you of that taste, the essence of him in your body. I want to rid all the pleasures that he gave you and imprint my own being onto your tongue, onto your body and behind your eyelids. I want to be the meaning of your existence and your strength to move on forward. I want to be the everything that person used to be.
Jaejoong . . .
You used to say that he was manly, but the only person I see right in front of me, eyes closed to the world, is but a lost puppy. He is not strong at all and you took that away from him when you stepped out of his life. But it does not matter anymore, because I am here and I will make sure to bring him back as someone who is even better than what you carved him out to be.
2013
Description:
Excerpt from "In The Palm Of My Hand" (DBSK):
Jaejoong was tired of his mother's voice. He just wanted to help the bird, that was all. So why was she getting so worked up about him touching the thing?
"I'll wash up," Jaejoong gave in, pretending to push himself up when he heard his mother's retreating footsteps. His bright smile returned again when he bent down to pick up the one-winged bird, its beak flapping open and closed. He could see the little beady eyes watching him in fear.
He giggled when he felt the bird thrashing in the palm of his left hand, his right hand keeping tight on the bird's beak. The bird's other wing flapped helplessly, trying to scare him into dropping its body, but he wasn't affected at all. He was too intrigued by the bird's futile attempts to suck in a lungful of air.
"Come on, hurry up and die," Jaejoong giggled. A hand reached out and smacked at his hand again and the bird dropped heavily onto the pavement.
2014
Description:
Excerpt from