Black tears
Black tears fall upon a polished white floor
Lost wandering within my own fortress
Shadows dancing in my heart
Inhibitions luring me further from the light
Till nothing is left of me
Fluttering wings of a lost bird
Looking for the key to something hidden
Tired of the worlds cruelty
The cold loneliness fills my being
What is the ache I have
This pain in my chest
As if my heart and soul has been torn out by hand
No reason to go on
Waiting for something
I don’t know what
Unseen hands pulling me further back
Cold stone walls closing in around me
Suffocating in the eternal suffering
Out of the never ending night
As if someone took me by the arm
I was flung back to me room
Where the rain hit the window
Nightmares to linger
With the taste of bitter brutality
Words would never heal the gaping wound that won’t close
Gazing through the tears and rain stained windowpane
Out into the stars and moon
Asking for help to some unknown being
To show them the treasure I long for
To give me the key
So I can unlock the prize within it
The one only thing that I want more then anything in the world
Freedom
Unconditional Love
Trust
Self Confidence
All of which I’ll never have
To strike against the monsters that pull me with them
Away from reality
To the horrors that await me
The lies that make me cry
I hate it all
Despise how I fell
Inferiority is what I would never wish on anyone
Suffering with it is enough torment for one lifetime
No one to turn to
To cry to
To scream to
To admit weakness and pain
No one to understand what it is I search for
It’s pointless to explain it to those that will never understand
Parents can’t comprehend it
Call it depression or that we’re being silly
Lie and say they’ve been through it
Friends can’t deal with it
They too don’t understand the aching
They’ll never understand it
Teachers run in the other direction
They don’t know how to handle it
They label you as the trouble child
Therapists put you on drugs
It doesn’t do anything for me
I’m not depressed
That doesn’t explain what I just don’t care
Why I don’t take anything seriously
I’m lost and confused
I would love nothing more then to throw my head back and scream
Bottling up everything I wish I could say
No one to trust
Going on through my life as if everything is grand
Smiling, hyper, yet lying to all the see me
Hatred, frustration, rage, sadness, confusion
All building up slowly within me
If I burst into pieces from inside out
I hope that no one will be surprised
Tears that can’t be permitted to fall for stupid reasons
Lay dormant behind my brown eyes
Is there someone that can save me
That won’t use me
Betray me
Hurt me
Shatter me
Destroy me
I listen to my friends issues
I smile and consol them, give them advice
Not letting on the inner turmoil that is always taking place
Someone reach out for me and save me
From the ebony shadows that are smothering me
Help me
I want to be loved