Birdhouse In Your Soul - Chapter Eighteen: Part Two
Title: "Birdhouse In Your Soul"
Author: mirei_nochi/Panda_Hallows
Rating: T
Chapters: 18 part 1
Pairing: Seddie
Genres: Angst/Romance/Family/Friendship
Word Count: 8,000+
Timeline: Written without any episodes after iMust Have Locker 239. Senior Year.
Summary: Sam's mother dies and that leaves Sam to rely on her friends through this hard time. Secrets that had been ignored for years surface and leave the teens to follow through and discover who they are as people, in this "coming of age story".
Disclaimer: As a final attempt at getting to be apart of anything iCarly, I sent in a resume too be a chicken in an episode. Unfortunately they wanted chickens with real experience being an actual chicken so I was out of that. So then I decided to go along with Fictions of Legends to Los Angeles and become cleaning ladies, or janitors for Dan Schneider, so that we may be around all that is brilliant, how does that sound Sam-o [Fictions of Legends]?
Panda Note: As you know this is the last ‘chapter’ of this story, or rather the second half of the final chapter. My reason for splitting up this one chapter was because I couldn’t let you guys wait for so long. I just didn’t think I’d finish this one as fast. Expect the Epilogue a little sooner than later, because it’s going to be a lot easier. You can also find this fic on fanfiction.net!
Chapter Eighteen Part II
Their good-bye was awkward at best. Neither wanted to watch the other leave, but Freddie had explained that he needed to get on the road too, if he wanted to make it there before nightfall. This was a lie of course but only a select few knew it, including Carly who smiled at him as he and Sam kissed one another as though they’d never see one another again.
Roger, Mrs. Benson and Spencer had said their good-byes hours before. Sam wasn’t too excited about having to wake up so early in the morning but the promise of bacon had lured her out of Freddie’s warm arms.
With their good-byes to their elder folk the trio met up in the parking garage to continue their strung out farewell.
Hammy was particularly sad about Freddie leaving. He at first refused to get into the truck, even when Sam used her warning voice. But with little speech from Freddie the pooch he brightened by many degrees. With a few licks to the face Hammy trotted happily over to Sam’s truck and hopped in, followed by Carly. The girls sat there looking at the happy dog between them for a moment wondering what Freddie could have said to cause the change.
Freddie stood outside with a smile on his face as he watched the two buckled up and prepared to drive off.
He climbed into his own and drove alongside the old blue truck, both stopped on the curb right before they exited the parking area of Bushwell Plaza’s building.
Freddie looked over and caught Sam’s eye and he smiled sadly. Part of him didn’t like the idea of the two girls being on the road alone. Then he remembered that Sam was the one driving and would be there to protect Carly and Hammy was with them as well if things got hairy. He always seemed to worry unnecessarily. Even the thought that they could be in danger was ludicrous. Maybe it happened once you really loved someone and want to protect them, even when they don’t need it.
All he knew for sure was that a world without his two girls was a world not worth being apart of. It still felt a little weird for him to lump Carly into that sentence in his mind. Sam was his girl in his mind and Carly was his dearest friend. But he couldn’t say that Sam was his out loud, especially to her.
She looked at him strangely as he sat there in his car looking over at her, straining his neck a bit to look up.
Carly rolled down her window and Sam smirked at him.
“Benson, you know I can’t actually miss you if you don’t leave?” she joked and couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her.
“Same goes for you Puckett.” he shot back with a smile, then as an after thought he said, “Be safe.”
Hammy gave a hearty bark to inform Freddie that they were in good paws.
With a final wave good-bye from their vehicles the two drove in opposite directions.
Both drivers glancing out of their rear-view mirrors before either vehicle vanished.
Carly hummed to the static of the radio in an attempt to fill up the silence of the drive. They’d been on the road for a good hour without a word from Sam. It wasn’t a completely uncomfortable silence but in a previous road trip where it had just been the two there had been more life in the vehicle. Granted they were only going to visit Carly’s grandfather for a weekend, but it was their first real trip without others.
By the fourth hour or so on the road they’d reached Spokane and waved a good-bye to it as they headed for Idaho. Still the silence that stretched unnerved Carly to no end. Sam was usually a talker, when it came to their friendship. She knew for sure that they had plenty to talk about, since they hadn’t had a chance to spend a whole lot of time during their last year together.
Pretty soon they’d be separated by five hours and despite what she told herself, Carly knew it was going to get harder and harder to visit her and vise versa.
They were making too time though, it was barely almost noon by the time they reached Mullan, Idaho. As they turned to head to the closest gas station Carly took note that one of the street names was called ‘Friday Avenue’. They didn’t go near that street but her mind was still on it as they turned from Park Street to 5th St and River. Why Friday Avenue was important; she didn’t know but it was something that had caught her eye as they passed through. She rather liked when streets were named after days of the week or people or wacky sorts of things. That one in particular let her mind to Friday nights, mostly because they were when the gang would do iCarly, together.
This very thought brought a sad smile to her face as her best friend glanced over at her with a raised eyebrow.
“You alright Carls?” the blond asked turning off the road, at a gas station called ‘Polla Oil Co Inc’. Putting her blue truck into park in front of number five, Sam climbed out as Carly followed suit. Hammy placed his paws against the opened window on the driver’s side and watched as the two girls met by the gas pump.
“I’m alright, just thinking about how much I’m going to miss our old studio.” she sighed and leaned against the back of the truck. “You want me to go get some snacks?”
“Yeah good idea, we’ll be on the road for a while and we’ll need it.” stated the blond going through her wallet to find her debit card. “I’m glad I fed Hams before we left.” she glanced over at his stubby legs holding him up as his head stuck out the window, panting.
“He eats like you do.” laughed Carly who receive and bark from Hammy. With a happy sigh she walked off toward the mart to get snacks.
Sam placed her card in that she when she first started working for Roger. He explained that direct deposit was the easiest way to go about things. She just had to remember where it was most of the time; otherwise she’d be in trouble.
With the gas pumping she glanced at her dog who continued look at her thoughtfully. They continued to look at one another until the gas stopped flowing into her truck.
“You excited Hams?” she asked as she put the pump back and heading over to the window. He licked her cheek as she scratched the side of his face. “I’ll take that as a yes, we just have to make it out of Montana.” she sighed.
“I got fatcakes!” stated Carly happily, wiggling the snack before blue eyes. Sam snatched them up and grinned over at her best friend, who worked her way onto the passenger side with a huge back of drinks and snacks.
Once Sam allowed Hammy to go to the bathroom they all got back on the road.
Around one that afternoon Carly decided she’d take a nap, so that she would be well rested for her turn to drive when they reached Bismarck, North Dakota. They’d mapped it all out, thanks to the internet and the neatly folded map sitting on top of the dash board on Carly’s side. Hammy provided a nice pillow for the brunette, as the two curled up on the passenger side of the old truck.
Sam took this time to enjoy the quiet of the open road. She noticed that Carly felt awkward after the gap in their friendship, being that they were finally alone, just the two of them. The blond didn’t feel that way though, in fact she embraced this as a chance to spend time together, to connect, as strange as that was for her. The last few months had been constantly changing and no part of her felt like Carly was too busy for her. She had just found other confidants to talk with. She saw it more as progress than anything else and still loved the girl asleep on her dog.
With her window rolled down she could smell the damp woods and practically taste Montana. She had a third cousin who lived somewhere in all its massiveness that was the state. For something so large it had so many little towns gaped by opened plains. It was like taking a trip straight through Texas, which shouldn’t be done at anytime during the summer.
Her cell phone had been silent most of the morning, which had bothered her more than anything. She hated those girls, who anxiously waited for their boyfriends to call them after a day, which it was slowly crawling to. Freddie, in her mind, was hers, even if she had to beat him and the ‘new girl’ in his life until that was made clear. Whatever delusions she’d been under that she’d step aside and allow some skunkbag to swoop in and take him, were gone.
In what sort of world did a Puckett just stand aside? Not this one at least, maybe in another universe there was, but not her. The fact that her mind had just traveled off into the ‘physics’ part of her mind made her somewhat giddy. It was just one piece of her that still held a top spot in her life and she wondered about her choice, where she’d spend the duration of her school years.
Even that was a shock still; she was going to school, once again. Never once in her life had she thought she’d be heading off to college. With her sad excuse for grades and horrible record it was no wonder that the thought hadn’t entered her mind. Physics still hadn’t put the thought there for her, it was something she found interesting and was more like a hobby, just like cooking. Coming to a final decision had been simple, yet difficult at the same time.
She hoped she had chosen right, for the sake of her future.
By almost 4pm they’d stopped into Butte, Montana for a quick fill up and bathroom break before they jumped back onto the road again. Because this trip was going to take a day and more than 20 hours they planned to make good time by stopping quickly and going on their way. They managed to get to Miles City, Montana by around 9pm the same day they left.
Surprisingly enough Sam had hit her second wind and was wide awake as Carly woke up to find that she’d been out for a few hours. Hammy plopped his fluffy head upon her lap as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.
“What time is it?” she managed to ask the driver.
“It’s almost 9:30.” Sam replied turning on her high beams upon the deserted stretch of highway. “You hungry?” she asked as she spotted a grouping of bright lights up ahead, signaling either a small town or an area to stop.
“Oh, yeah.” she stretched and let out a long yawn. “Food sounds good right about now.”
“We’ll make the switch as soon as we get to Bismarck, North Dakota.”
“We could switch now if you want.” Carly suggested, digging around the floor for her bottle of unopened water.
“We worked it out evenly, I drive eighteen hours and then you drive eighteen. If we get there too late at night then I’m crashing at your dorm.”
“I know but you must be tired. What with Spencer running in and waking you guys up so early.”
“His alarm caught fire.” Sam shook her head as she pulled into a drive-thru Inside-Out Burger joint. They were EVERYWHERE.
“I know, I heard Hammy barking for twenty minutes, like that was going to put it out.” she laughed as Hammy rubbed his nose into her lap. “I’m only kidding.” she scratched behind his ears; he seemed to forgive her right away.
“What do you want?” asked the blond as she looked over the really small menu.
“The Number One with grilled onions and a milk shake.” Sam raised an eyebrow. “Vanilla.” Carly rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious answer.
“Alright.”
Once the two had their burgers they parked for a moment and Sam stepped out to get something for Hammy to eat out of the back from underneath the tarp they’d thrown over Carly’s motorcycle. She’d made sure to pack some of Hammy’s food for the trip, in case he got hungry.
She’d trained him well enough not to beg while others were eating and instead ate his own food.
“Who wants some food?” Sam asked grinning into the truck from the outside. Her answer came in the form of a hearty bark and a nice lick to the face. He rarely went for the entire face opting for a cheek or her forehead at times. For some reason the word ‘food’ set him off much like ‘ham’ or ‘fatcakes’ did to her.
Sam managed to stuff her face with her double meat burger and fries in less than two minutes. It was followed by her best friend stating quite seriously “That was the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.” They laughed for a good five minutes until Carly was cry and Sam couldn’t breathe.
At 11:46pm they’d passed through more little towns whose names they didn’t pay much mind to, mainly because they’d both broken out of the awkwardness from the morning of the trip.
“Can you believe that he’d actually say that?”
“He’s a boy Sam, you’ll just have to get used to wearing the pants.” laughed the brunette.
“I know it’s something I have to live with.”
There was a momentary pause, on in which Sam had grown used to when this came next.
“I’m sorry that we’ve missed out on so many talks, about your mom and about what you were going through with Roger and Freddie. I wasn’t a very good friend and I should have been the one who was there for you most. I know I’m ranting now but-”
“Carls.” sighed Sam as she flicked from low beams to high after a car passed her. She knew eventually that she would attempt this and already had her answer memorized in her mind. “Look, you had your own stuff going on that kept you busy and honestly when it comes to really sad things you freak out. This isn’t a bad thing; it’s actually great because you’re the type to want everything upbeat. I didn’t want that at the time, I just wanted to deal with it the best way I knew how and being happy wasn’t really part of it. Even after it passed and I was feeling alright I had already grown closer to Fredlumps and you know, feelings came up…” Sam blushed as she thought of the last part.
“I just really hope we can talk about everything, I feel like I missed out on important moments in your life.”
“What would you like to know?”
“Are you sure you want to go down that road again?”
“Carly, as crazy and lame as this sounds, I’ve made some peace with Sarah’s death and with Roger. Everything in my life is how it’s supposed to be.”
“What happened when you, Roger and Freddie went to take your mom to the ocean?” she asked cautiously.
Sam went into a deep conversation with Carly over the events of that entire trip, in detail, it was only fair. Each thing just few from her mouth with ease, like it happened ten years ago.
“I wasn’t sure how or why I got over my anger towards Roger but it was gone before I realized it. I just started to think about how I’d never see Sarah again, hear her voice, and smell her perfume all over the house. I knew I missed her more than I thought I would that’s for sure. I didn’t want to let that happen with Roger, when I had the choice to have him around or cast him off. You know?”
They passed a sign indicating that they were a mere 78 miles from Bismarck, North Dakota.
“Yeah I know what you mean.” Carly looked over at Sam, who had been smiling a bit by the mention of her father. It was kind of cute how much he meant to her now. “So Sam, how about Freddie?”
“I don’t even know where to start in all that mess.”
“You guys seemed like everything was alright between you.”
“Everything is alright, I guess.”
“Well how did this all happen?”
Even though Carly had been working behind the scenes the whole time, she’d only collected so much information. This had been the primary issue with the whole covert operation. Everything she knew about was through observation, not being apart of it. She hated lying to Sam like she had been but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to ever share what she knew. Surprisingly enough she didn’t feel overwhelmed with guilt over the whole thing like she normally would. This felt like it needed to be done and in some part it all worked out. It didn’t feel wrong to Carly to want them to be happy when it was so plainly obvious.
“…and I couldn’t bring myself to let it happen…”
“Because you love him.” Carly stated matter-of-factually. If Sam had been affected by the outright statement; she didn’t show it. The truck remained at the same speed and steady hands gripped the steering wheel securely.
“I don’t see how.” mumbled Sam, as her eyes focused on the darkened road.
“Sure you do, you just don’t like it when things take you by surprise.”
“I hate it when I’m proven wrong.”
“That too.” giggled Carly, who shook her head at the blond. “There’s nothing wrong with being happy. He does make you happy.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know everything.” laughed the brunette, knowing full well that she was getting a little too cheeky for her own good.
“Carls, he’s too far away, it’ll never work out.”
“I don’t know, I have a feeling that by the end of this trip everything will be just right.”
The all-knowing tone of Carly’s voice caused Sam to momentarily turned her eyes away from the road.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing at all.” smiled Carly.
“Is there something going on that I should know about?”
“Nope.” and Carly meant it. She knew about the idea that Roger and Freddie’s mom had come up with, but not all the details. She did know that Freddie knew about their little secret plot. He hadn’t said a word to Carly though, which she’d been grateful for. “I just have a feeling that if you guys really try, you’ll work out.”
“I want to believe that but even he doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships. How am I supposed to go into it when he doesn’t think it’ll work?”
It was like a floodgate to Carly, having the girl driving, sharing like this. One word led to another and before Sam even realized it she was telling Carly all sorts of things that she’d kept bottled up for a few months.
“…I just know that I’ve always felt this way, I just didn’t know what to call it.”
“Normal people call it true love, Sam.” grinned Carly.
“I don’t think I like it.” blotched Sam as the time on the clock changed to 1am and they were only six miles from Bismarck. “Thanks Carls.” she stated smiling at her best friend. She had started to feel tired once it hit midnight and wasn’t sure if she’d make it to her stopping point, but talking with Carly had kept her awake and active.
“No problem, you gave me the easier part of the trip.”
“I don’t know about that, we’ll be entering bigger cities, I should have had you drive the first part of the trip.”
“Its fine, I can handle it.”
“You sure?”
“Totally.”
When Sam’s truck passed the ‘Welcome to Bismarck’ she promised to drive to a gas station to switch for the night. The wind must have picked up while they were driving, she didn’t notice at the time though. It was a bit nippy out as she shivered next to the gas pumps. Carly again when into the gas station to grab some coffee for herself as well as a few snacks for the long trip to Minneapolis, which was about six hours or so away. She’d have to stop somewhere in between to fill up again before they actually reached Minneapolis but it was still a pretty long journey.
With a full tank once again, Carly climbed into the blue beast and got ready for her driving shift while Sam grabbed a blanket and curled up with her fluffy dog on the passenger side. She hadn’t realized how tired was until she allowed her head to rest against his fur. The moment that the truck started up and Carly started on the misty roads of Bismarck, Sam was asleep.
Groggily Sam awoke to the morning sun blinding her from the side mirror.
“Go back to sleep Sam, we still have another hour before we get to Minneapolis.” instructed the surprisingly peppy brunette at the wheel. She didn’t look like she’d been driving six hour straight with minor stops must have been getting to her a little. Sam couldn’t see any effect on her dear friend as the girl smiled out of the corner of her mouth and hummed.
“Right…” she didn’t need to be told twice, she was still a bit tired.
When Sam jumped into the driver’s seat it’s almost seven at night and Carly’s tired from her long driving shift. She doesn’t go to sleep though, opting to wait until they’ve arrived in Syracuse. Since the talk the day before the two had loosened up and Sam was chatting a lot more. The breeze coming through the opened windows whipped their hair about as they turned up the music and sang loudly. It was almost like they were in their own little world as they hit random potholes in the road.
Even Hammy thought he should join in and led his ‘awesome’ voice to the chorus. All that came out were his bad imitations of wolves and slobber when he got too excited.
With the sun in the sky and nothing short of joy bursting from the young women in the truck, their journey continued.
Sam wasn’t sure what she expected when they pulled up to Carly’s dorm building. The school had built this whole new place, something about old leaky pipes in the previous Syracuse dorms. It was a few block away from the school, which seemed convenient enough for her friend. The outer structure was sort of what she pictured an apartment building would look in New York. It was exactly the city but it still had a nice suburban feel to it. It was nice to see a nice deep red brick building once and a while.
What was also nice about it was that it was a single bedroom, studio style place. Carly wouldn’t have to worry about a roommate and she even had a place to put her bike.
As tired as the two girls were they managed to get Carly’s motorcycle off the back of Sam’s truck and into the ‘student’ parking area around the corner of the building. Tiredly they walked up the few steps of the stoop and through a beautiful glass and wood door. Inside there was a single staircase set in the center of the area and four doors on the first floor. From the outside it looked as though there were about five floors all-together.
“What floor are you on?” Sam asked worriedly, looking at the flight of stairs before her. She was far too tired to climb all the way to the top. Hammy seemed to agree, as he plopped down next to Sam’s feet and waited for the two to start up the stairs.
“Actually I’m 1C.” Carly grinned, though her eyes were a bit droopy as she pointed to her right at the door next to 1B.
“Thank all the cheese in the world.” the blond sluggishly worked her tired limbs toward the door and Carly followed, equally tired.
The door opened soundlessly to a room filled with boxes and a bed set up in the far left corner of the room. Supposedly the movers that Spencer hired agreed to set up her bed for her. To their right were a medium sized fridge and a small cooking area. It was a nice sided studio apartment for a new college-bound student.
The two didn’t really care at that moment about changing or even about the fact that it was a maze in there. They saw the bed and both levitated there. Hammy didn’t care much either and found a nice corner of the bed to curl up on as Carly and Sam knocked out the moment their bodies hit the bed.
A blond and brunette stood on the third and fourth steps of a stoop and hugged good-bye for the third time that morning. Sam couldn’t believe that she really had to go off on the rest of the journey alone, without Carly. With another hug and a few hundred glances back at Carly, Sam disappeared around the corner, where her truck still remained. It was so strange, how well this trip really had gone. Nothing bad occurred; they stayed on course and didn’t get lost once.
But now she was by herself, on the open road to Boston. It was a good time to start, even though it was seven in the morning and she would love nothing more than to be asleep. Yet sleeping in a bed, in an unfamiliar place…without Freddie didn’t sit right with her all night long. Carly didn’t mention it but Sam could tell that she noticed it.
Even she noticed the difference; she must have woken up ten different times during the night, only to see a long curtain of hair beside her. It wasn’t the same fluff of hair she’d grown used to though and she’d groan and try to fall back to sleep.
How was she supposed to get through school without that normalcy in her day to day life?
The open road had no answers for her and Hammy didn’t seem to notice her perplexed expression, his head was shoved out the window. His fluffy ears were flapping happily in the wind as his tongue hung out.
“You know what Hams?” she said not looking over at him. “You and I are going to be just fine.”
He barked what she assumed was to answer her back.
The miles passed by as the hours did. She stopped in Fort Plain, Amsterdam, Albany, Westfield, Chicopee, Westborough, Newton, and Brookline before she reached the surface streets in which led to her own studio apartment in Boston. She made sure to mark it exactly on the map as well as get that stupid GPS thing that Freddie thought she needed when she first got her truck. Of course to spite him she stuffed it into the glove compartment and refused to use it for a long while. It only seemed appropriate to use it for her lonely trip to her final destination. It worked pretty well, she hadn’t got lost once since her truck drove into Boston. The streets were alive that afternoon as a coffee colored building came into view. It looked much like Carly’s except that it was something out of a movie. It was only two stories high and seemed to only have the two floors.
After parking she stood on the sidewalk, next to a tree and just stared up at it for a few moments while Hammy sat next to her and looked from her to the building a few times.
It was just like the picture she’d seen online. From what Roger told her there was a married couple living on the first floor.
The stoop was exactly ten thin steps high with a black railing on each side. She took each step slowly, admiring everything around her as if it were going to disappear at any moment.
The door was black wood with a fogged glass in the center. She smiled as she put her key to the building in and pushed the door open.
Because it was a two story building, the door was to the far left corner and the inside for which she found herself was very small. If she could she might be able to fit about ten of her in that tiny space. To her right was a door with a welcome mat on the floor and a nice little hand made plaque that read ‘DeFranco’. Straight ahead were about twelve steps that lead to a door similar to the one on the right and nothing else. To the left was another door, which she’d ask her neighbors about soon.
It was right somehow to her. The building.
With a little nod to herself she started up the steps and to the lone door at the very top. It didn’t seem nearly high enough; the place below, windows from the outside almost touched the ground. She assumed that their place downstairs had that whole ‘basement’ feel to it and sunk in farther.
The door opened and she was amazed to find that some of the stuff had been unpacked and assembled randomly around the apartment. It seemed a bit odd that the guys her father had hired would go to the trouble of unpacking.
With a shrug of her shoulders she threw her backpack down near the front door and closed it, after Hammy trotted inside to inspect.
“This is home Hams.” she informed him and he padded off, becoming hard to see over the few boxes that were piled up.
With her four-legged companion distracted by his new lodgings, she took the time to inspect everything around her. It was clear that Roger had pre-ordered some house essentials for her; some of it didn’t look at all familiar.
Like the few boxes of wires and random remotes. None of it made any sense as she sifted through the boxes. It also appeared that someone had started to unpack and then stopped half way through. A television hung up on the wall, much like the one Carly had received from her father. It looked as though it had all been hooked up properly, from where she was standing. Most of the living room area was clutter-free and it was a bit unnerving how familiar it was to have it set up like this.
Placing some of the miscellaneous wires back into their box she ventured on to some more boxes. Inside a few were random t-shirts, which definitely looked familiar. Most of them were made by Penny, and belonged to Freddie.
“What’s going on?” she asked out-loud as she pulled out the one on top ‘Fries Matter’. “Why are his shirts here?”
As she stood there his scent seemed to float up to her nose as she continued to stare at the shirt in her hands. Even that caused her to miss the nub that she hadn’t seen or heard from in a day and a half. The last time they’d gone this long without some form of contact was during that three weeks after his birthday.
Missing him was still new to her but it was there, deep inside of her chest. It was almost like he was there with her, even though she knew that wasn’t possible or probable as some physicists would say, they meant the same thing anyways.
The shirts wouldn’t have tipped her off that something was amiss, but as she continued her inspections she was starting to wonder. Half of the boxes had Freddie’s belongings in them.
The front door opened; a rustle of bags and a mumbling had her grabbing for the heaviest object she could find. But before she could strike at the intruder she heard his voice, one she couldn’t believe she actually missed.
Freddie stood in between the kitchen and bedroom holding two bags of groceries in hand while he looked up at her in surprise. The object in her grip slid out and hit the carpet as she looked at him in bewilderment.
A million thoughts were going through her mind as she stood there. Part of her thought this might happen, it all added up when she found half of his belongings there.
“Sam…” he gasped out, with many levels of admiration rolling off his tongue. It felt so nice to hear her name on his lips again. For a moment at least, thinking for a whole day that she wouldn’t see him for a long while. That he’d find someone new to love and that she’d be set on the backburner again. That she wouldn’t fight with him, even if it were in a playful manner. It all seemed like the future for them. But there he stood in her apartment, duplex, building, holding groceries like it was normal.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped out, finally gaining some momentum after the shock wore off.
“I live here Sam.” he gave her a confused look, as if to say ‘isn’t it obvious’.
“How? I live here. This is my apartment.”
This conversation was moronic, that much she knew.
“I live here too.” he deadpanned as he turned and headed into the kitchen area, leaving her to follow after. As happy as she was too see him and smell him and hear his voice this was all very confusing.
“I thought you were going to school in California.”
“That’s what you get for thinking.” he smirked. He meticulously emptied the bags, placing each item in a specific pile for their locations.
“What’s going on here Fredlumps?” she scowled, grabbing his forearm and swinging him to face her. Her brows were scrunched up and her lips pierced together tightly.
His shoulders slouched and he sighed, apparently his first approach wasn’t working.
“I didn’t want you tell you that I got into Boston University and that your dad and my mom got us this place so we could live together.” he confessed.
“What? Why would they…I don’t…but…”
“I can’t believe you’re surprised.” he rolled his eyes but still had a little smile on his face. “Did you really honestly think that for a second I’d let you get away?”
He brought his hands up and placed them on the sides of her stunned face and brushed his thumb against her cheek.
“Why wouldn’t you do this though? Couldn’t’ you have just told me about all of this?”
“Sam, you would’ve shot it down before it was final and then I wouldn’t get to surprise you like this.”
“You call this a surprise?” she frowned. “I hate surprises you know.”
“I know, that’s why I did it.” he grinned. “What kind of world would this be if I didn’t piss you off?”
“True, but next time you do this you’re dead Benson. That’s a promise.”
Without warning from the short blonde, she had her lips against his, pushing him against the counter in a frenzy to touch every part of him. The initial shock from her attack wore off in a matter of seconds and he was returning her kisses with just as much passion. It was almost as if they’d been away from each other for years, by the way they were moving about the kitchen, kissing, tugging and shoving each other for control of the situation they were in.
“I can’t believe we’re finally here.” he sighed pulling away and looking down at her. Each time he looked at her like that, with so much love in his eyes, it made her want to punch him. It wasn’t possible that he loved her as much as she loved him. Impossible.
The ‘un-Sam’ part of her wanted to ball her eyes out each time that she realized that he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t moving on from her.
“Now all we need is something to ruin this moment.”
“Like you saying that?” he laughed and pulled her in for a hug. It surprised him greatly when her arms snaked from her sides to wrap around his waist while his remained around her shoulders. They’d never really stayed this way that long and it was just nice to be like this. There was no sight of a possible wedgie in his future as well. Maybe Sam was growing a bit.
“This is so weird.” she groaned, letting her head fall into his chest. “Is this where we just be together?” she asked after a moment.
He’d never expected her to just be so forward about where this was going.
“If you want us to be together.” he pointed out, resting his head on her shoulder.
“You have some say in this too.” she mumbled into his chest.
“I’ve told you a hundred times, I want to be with you.” he mumbled into her hair. The curve of her neck; became a favorite place to put his mouth at that moment. She always smelled amazing; it baffled him to no end. The girl detested being a ‘girl’ and yet she smelled amazing.
“I know.” she conceded, in defeat.
“Then why can’t you just let me?” he asked lifting his lips to her ear.
“I don’t know. I’ve always just expected better for you then me.” the admittance surprised him a bit. He’d known the real reason but hearing it from her was something new entirely. She didn’t like to divulge any of her true feelings or thoughts.
“There’s no one better then you. You’ve got to know that. Be with me.” he hated how unbelievably cheesy they were starting to sound. But it all was coming to this point. It all was meant to be at this moment, like a well scripted movie.
His grip all around her tightened a bit as his cheek came to rest on top of her blond head. Long finger worked their way into tangle blond hair, as she gripped onto his t-shirt.
Sam could only stand there in that moment and breathe him in, the real thing was so much more satisfying than a t-shirt. As she began to accept it a bit more, thinking it felt more natural. She was a woman in love and damn it she was going to love her man.
“Fine.” she conceded, still with her face pressed into his chest more fully, hiding.
“Just fine?”
“What else do you want me to say?”
“Oh…I don’t know…” he started, fiddling with a stray curl. “How about, ‘Oh Freddie, you gorgeous piece of man, how I love you so!’” he stated, attempting to impersonate a woman, badly.
She pulled back a bit to look up at him and for the life of him he couldn’t place that look in her eyes. He’d seen it a few times and didn’t put much thought into it. But now that it was up close and beaming at him behind blue eyes, he had to know what it was.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” she asked tilting her head to the side, looking up at him and wondering why he was looking at her strangely.
“Like…I’m a smoked Ham.” he smiled suddenly as that statement sank in. “I’m…you…”
“What, Benson?” she frowned as he gave her a perplexed look.
“You love me!” he grinned down at her.
“How’d you come to that conclusion?” there was heat around her shirt collar, inching up to the roots of her hair. The entire room felt like someone had stuck them in an oven and she felt her skin begin to clam up. She knew that the tone of her voice had somehow given away her position in this matter. He knew and there was no hiding it. “Fine!” she bit out, pulling away from him and stepping back a bit. His face scrunched up in confusion as she fussed over the subject at hand. “You’re right, okay, happy now?” she glared over at him, which only caused more confusion.
“What…?” he reached his hands out to touch her but she backed away and pointed an accusing finger at him.
“This is your entire fault you little tech nerd!”
“Now wait just a minute, Sam…” he started, sort of insulted by her random jab at him. Normally it wouldn’t have bothered him but she was clearly mad about something. This was serious and he needed to find a way to defuse her. Unfortunately he was cut off midsentence before he could say another word.
“No you listen I talk!”
It was enough to shut him up. He leaned his back against the counter while she stood next to the fridge with her arms folded, hip pushed out to the right.
“Okay.” he nodded and focused on her ever-moving eyes. They blinked rapidly as they searched about to find the right words to say the guy standing before them.
“I’m mean.” she started out. He went to object but she shot a look over at him. “No, I am. I can live with the fact that most people find me to be intimidating and difficult at times. I have the important people in my life, that’s all that’s really mattered to me all this time.” she pushed herself away from the fridge and started to pace back and forth. “I didn’t think that I’d get to this point, where I’d care about anyone. That I could even find someone who basically has sunshine coming out of their backside.” She looked up for a moment and saw the look on his face. “I know it sounds really lame to say but that’s exactly how I see it. You make it impossible for me to get rid of you. I’ve tried so many times to just cast you off and forget about even feeling like this for you, but you are too persistent. You’ve got to shove yourself into every little piece of my life, to where I can’t scrub you out.”
“You’re mad that I like being in your life?”
“No you idiot!” she yelled into his face. She marched over to him and jabbed her index finger into his chest. “I’m mad that I’m in love with you! Happy now?”
The room fell silent for a moment as Sam’s words sunk into their skulls.
Her shoulders slumped as she lost all her energy in that one sentence. The very fact that it fell out of her mouth was just too much for her too handle.
Freddie couldn’t believe it. He knew she cared for him and somehow hoped that she loved him but hearing it out loud sent his heart into a frenzy of new feelings.
“You love me?” he asked as her eyes studied the tops of his shoes. She couldn’t meet his eyes after that confession. “I hoped for the longest time that you would, but I just didn’t see it.”
Her head shot up and she looked alarmed.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No?” he hadn’t meant for it to come out as a question, but it came out that way.
“Oblivious…” she sighed.
“No I’m not!” he frowned.
“Look.” she began, gaining a bit of strength from his confusion. “I’m not great at being in a relationship or even being a good friend-”
"You’re a great friend Sam…”
“Benson…” she warned. “But if you can deal with me not always being all fluff and warmth then I’ll…be…your…you know…”
“My girlfriend.” he grinned, stretching out the word. “My lover, companion, significant other…my…”
“Shut up.” she deadpanned.
“Fine.” he rolled his eyes. Then his eyes caught something lying on one of the boxes on the stove and pulled it out. “Your yearbook.” he smiled softly.
“Yeah…” she was unsure of where he was going with this.
“You remember me telling you the translation of this?” he asked pointing to his entry. “I lied.”
“I had a feeling.”
“Most of it was true but I also told you I loved you in it.” he laughed more to himself.
“I already knew you did.” she admitted, smirking up at him.
“How?” he looked startled once again by her omission.
“You talk in your sleep.” she shrugged.
“I do?”
“Yeah you do.”
“Oh…” he felt his face heat up a bit. “Then you knew this whole time but chose to keep it to yourself?”
“I was trying to get rid of you.”
“I know.” he smiled, taking her delicate hands in his big ones. “That’s what’s kept me going. I also knew that you were going to school out here-”
“So you decided to just ruin your life by-”
“What? No! Sam, I already had this school picked out, but I knew that if I told you that you’d just run off to some other school and we wouldn’t be able to be together.”
“What about Berkley?”
“I’m not going for Mathematics Sam; I’m going for film study. I can only do it here in Boston; well it’s where I want to do it.”
“So you’ve been going behind my back?” there was no accusation behind her statement, she already knew the answer.
“Sort of. You fight for what you want the most and I want you.”
“What about four years down the road, Fredlumps? What if you meet a really interesting film student who likes the same things you do and who’s all sugary sweet to the point of vomiting? What if you don’t want to continue with whatever our relationship is then?”
“Sam, I can’t predict the future but if I wanted that kind of girl then I wouldn’t be standing in this kitchen, in Boston with you, ready t start our life together.”
“Good point.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, you’ve made a good point. But just so that you understand, you had better not go messing around with some skunkbag otherwise you’ll have to answer to ol’ Betsy.” she raised her fist up to his face.
“You’re all the woman I can handle Sam.” he laughed.
“Alright so how’s this supposed to work? Our parents just decided at random to have us sharing a bedroom together in an unknown city, together mind you. Together.” she tilted her head to the side. “We’re here…together…alone…together…”
“Right. We are Sam.”
“Wow…you’re going to be some big shot film guy and…”
“You’re going to be a famous Chef.” he grinned. “I can’t believe you gave up being a lady physicist.”
“I love Physics, but I’ve always loved cooking.” she shrugged. “Besides, that scholarship will be opened to me for the next ten years or so. They really want my brain, as surprising as it is. Maybe after two years of cookin’ school I’ll take them up on their offer.” she winked.
“You are amazing…”
“I know.” rolled her eyes. After a beat she asked, “you don’t think this whole ‘moving in together’ is a huge leap from dating?”
“Have we ever been conventional?”
“Good point. So living together after just really starting our relationship is something we’d do.”
“Yep.”
“So insignificant other, how about we get our home in shape?” she asked, glancing around all the filled boxes. Up until this point Hammy had made himself scarce. But he’d heard the two talking and decided to come in to greet Freddie more properly. With stubby legs he jumped up and pressed his paws into Freddie’s upper legs.
“I’m guessing Hammy approves?” he asked his girlfriend.
“I think he approves, right boy?” she asked Hammy who turned his head towards her and barked.
“I know I do.” Freddie grinned and pulled Sam into another kiss.
Panda Note: Alright guys! This is the end of the story!! I know I know, everyone is a bit sad over it coming to an end. I also know that the ‘Seddie’ shippers are sort of vanishing so this new and final chapter might not be as anticipated as I hoped. But I know that a lot of my awesome internet friends are going to read this and show some love for the dwindling fandom. Seddie will live once more! Also I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! Hug your loved ones and send all sorts of love to someone you don’t know. Everyone needs some good cheer! I know I said that it’s over but expect the epilogue sooner than later! Finally, you can find me on twitter, so if you are on there follow me @pandaville! Thanks to my dearest friends: LunaMoody, Fictions of Legends, Cupcakeslam23, Absolutely_M, PinkJelly, Somerdaye and so many more. You guys know who you are! These ladies have kept me on track and inspired me every chapter. You won’t find better people in this world than them, so go read their fics
Author: mirei_nochi/Panda_Hallows
Rating: T
Chapters: 18 part 1
Pairing: Seddie
Genres: Angst/Romance/Family/Friendship
Word Count: 8,000+
Timeline: Written without any episodes after iMust Have Locker 239. Senior Year.
Summary: Sam's mother dies and that leaves Sam to rely on her friends through this hard time. Secrets that had been ignored for years surface and leave the teens to follow through and discover who they are as people, in this "coming of age story".
Disclaimer: As a final attempt at getting to be apart of anything iCarly, I sent in a resume too be a chicken in an episode. Unfortunately they wanted chickens with real experience being an actual chicken so I was out of that. So then I decided to go along with Fictions of Legends to Los Angeles and become cleaning ladies, or janitors for Dan Schneider, so that we may be around all that is brilliant, how does that sound Sam-o [Fictions of Legends]?
Panda Note: As you know this is the last ‘chapter’ of this story, or rather the second half of the final chapter. My reason for splitting up this one chapter was because I couldn’t let you guys wait for so long. I just didn’t think I’d finish this one as fast. Expect the Epilogue a little sooner than later, because it’s going to be a lot easier. You can also find this fic on fanfiction.net!
Chapter Eighteen Part II
Their good-bye was awkward at best. Neither wanted to watch the other leave, but Freddie had explained that he needed to get on the road too, if he wanted to make it there before nightfall. This was a lie of course but only a select few knew it, including Carly who smiled at him as he and Sam kissed one another as though they’d never see one another again.
Roger, Mrs. Benson and Spencer had said their good-byes hours before. Sam wasn’t too excited about having to wake up so early in the morning but the promise of bacon had lured her out of Freddie’s warm arms.
With their good-byes to their elder folk the trio met up in the parking garage to continue their strung out farewell.
Hammy was particularly sad about Freddie leaving. He at first refused to get into the truck, even when Sam used her warning voice. But with little speech from Freddie the pooch he brightened by many degrees. With a few licks to the face Hammy trotted happily over to Sam’s truck and hopped in, followed by Carly. The girls sat there looking at the happy dog between them for a moment wondering what Freddie could have said to cause the change.
Freddie stood outside with a smile on his face as he watched the two buckled up and prepared to drive off.
He climbed into his own and drove alongside the old blue truck, both stopped on the curb right before they exited the parking area of Bushwell Plaza’s building.
Freddie looked over and caught Sam’s eye and he smiled sadly. Part of him didn’t like the idea of the two girls being on the road alone. Then he remembered that Sam was the one driving and would be there to protect Carly and Hammy was with them as well if things got hairy. He always seemed to worry unnecessarily. Even the thought that they could be in danger was ludicrous. Maybe it happened once you really loved someone and want to protect them, even when they don’t need it.
All he knew for sure was that a world without his two girls was a world not worth being apart of. It still felt a little weird for him to lump Carly into that sentence in his mind. Sam was his girl in his mind and Carly was his dearest friend. But he couldn’t say that Sam was his out loud, especially to her.
She looked at him strangely as he sat there in his car looking over at her, straining his neck a bit to look up.
Carly rolled down her window and Sam smirked at him.
“Benson, you know I can’t actually miss you if you don’t leave?” she joked and couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her.
“Same goes for you Puckett.” he shot back with a smile, then as an after thought he said, “Be safe.”
Hammy gave a hearty bark to inform Freddie that they were in good paws.
With a final wave good-bye from their vehicles the two drove in opposite directions.
Both drivers glancing out of their rear-view mirrors before either vehicle vanished.
Carly hummed to the static of the radio in an attempt to fill up the silence of the drive. They’d been on the road for a good hour without a word from Sam. It wasn’t a completely uncomfortable silence but in a previous road trip where it had just been the two there had been more life in the vehicle. Granted they were only going to visit Carly’s grandfather for a weekend, but it was their first real trip without others.
By the fourth hour or so on the road they’d reached Spokane and waved a good-bye to it as they headed for Idaho. Still the silence that stretched unnerved Carly to no end. Sam was usually a talker, when it came to their friendship. She knew for sure that they had plenty to talk about, since they hadn’t had a chance to spend a whole lot of time during their last year together.
Pretty soon they’d be separated by five hours and despite what she told herself, Carly knew it was going to get harder and harder to visit her and vise versa.
They were making too time though, it was barely almost noon by the time they reached Mullan, Idaho. As they turned to head to the closest gas station Carly took note that one of the street names was called ‘Friday Avenue’. They didn’t go near that street but her mind was still on it as they turned from Park Street to 5th St and River. Why Friday Avenue was important; she didn’t know but it was something that had caught her eye as they passed through. She rather liked when streets were named after days of the week or people or wacky sorts of things. That one in particular let her mind to Friday nights, mostly because they were when the gang would do iCarly, together.
This very thought brought a sad smile to her face as her best friend glanced over at her with a raised eyebrow.
“You alright Carls?” the blond asked turning off the road, at a gas station called ‘Polla Oil Co Inc’. Putting her blue truck into park in front of number five, Sam climbed out as Carly followed suit. Hammy placed his paws against the opened window on the driver’s side and watched as the two girls met by the gas pump.
“I’m alright, just thinking about how much I’m going to miss our old studio.” she sighed and leaned against the back of the truck. “You want me to go get some snacks?”
“Yeah good idea, we’ll be on the road for a while and we’ll need it.” stated the blond going through her wallet to find her debit card. “I’m glad I fed Hams before we left.” she glanced over at his stubby legs holding him up as his head stuck out the window, panting.
“He eats like you do.” laughed Carly who receive and bark from Hammy. With a happy sigh she walked off toward the mart to get snacks.
Sam placed her card in that she when she first started working for Roger. He explained that direct deposit was the easiest way to go about things. She just had to remember where it was most of the time; otherwise she’d be in trouble.
With the gas pumping she glanced at her dog who continued look at her thoughtfully. They continued to look at one another until the gas stopped flowing into her truck.
“You excited Hams?” she asked as she put the pump back and heading over to the window. He licked her cheek as she scratched the side of his face. “I’ll take that as a yes, we just have to make it out of Montana.” she sighed.
“I got fatcakes!” stated Carly happily, wiggling the snack before blue eyes. Sam snatched them up and grinned over at her best friend, who worked her way onto the passenger side with a huge back of drinks and snacks.
Once Sam allowed Hammy to go to the bathroom they all got back on the road.
Around one that afternoon Carly decided she’d take a nap, so that she would be well rested for her turn to drive when they reached Bismarck, North Dakota. They’d mapped it all out, thanks to the internet and the neatly folded map sitting on top of the dash board on Carly’s side. Hammy provided a nice pillow for the brunette, as the two curled up on the passenger side of the old truck.
Sam took this time to enjoy the quiet of the open road. She noticed that Carly felt awkward after the gap in their friendship, being that they were finally alone, just the two of them. The blond didn’t feel that way though, in fact she embraced this as a chance to spend time together, to connect, as strange as that was for her. The last few months had been constantly changing and no part of her felt like Carly was too busy for her. She had just found other confidants to talk with. She saw it more as progress than anything else and still loved the girl asleep on her dog.
With her window rolled down she could smell the damp woods and practically taste Montana. She had a third cousin who lived somewhere in all its massiveness that was the state. For something so large it had so many little towns gaped by opened plains. It was like taking a trip straight through Texas, which shouldn’t be done at anytime during the summer.
Her cell phone had been silent most of the morning, which had bothered her more than anything. She hated those girls, who anxiously waited for their boyfriends to call them after a day, which it was slowly crawling to. Freddie, in her mind, was hers, even if she had to beat him and the ‘new girl’ in his life until that was made clear. Whatever delusions she’d been under that she’d step aside and allow some skunkbag to swoop in and take him, were gone.
In what sort of world did a Puckett just stand aside? Not this one at least, maybe in another universe there was, but not her. The fact that her mind had just traveled off into the ‘physics’ part of her mind made her somewhat giddy. It was just one piece of her that still held a top spot in her life and she wondered about her choice, where she’d spend the duration of her school years.
Even that was a shock still; she was going to school, once again. Never once in her life had she thought she’d be heading off to college. With her sad excuse for grades and horrible record it was no wonder that the thought hadn’t entered her mind. Physics still hadn’t put the thought there for her, it was something she found interesting and was more like a hobby, just like cooking. Coming to a final decision had been simple, yet difficult at the same time.
She hoped she had chosen right, for the sake of her future.
By almost 4pm they’d stopped into Butte, Montana for a quick fill up and bathroom break before they jumped back onto the road again. Because this trip was going to take a day and more than 20 hours they planned to make good time by stopping quickly and going on their way. They managed to get to Miles City, Montana by around 9pm the same day they left.
Surprisingly enough Sam had hit her second wind and was wide awake as Carly woke up to find that she’d been out for a few hours. Hammy plopped his fluffy head upon her lap as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.
“What time is it?” she managed to ask the driver.
“It’s almost 9:30.” Sam replied turning on her high beams upon the deserted stretch of highway. “You hungry?” she asked as she spotted a grouping of bright lights up ahead, signaling either a small town or an area to stop.
“Oh, yeah.” she stretched and let out a long yawn. “Food sounds good right about now.”
“We’ll make the switch as soon as we get to Bismarck, North Dakota.”
“We could switch now if you want.” Carly suggested, digging around the floor for her bottle of unopened water.
“We worked it out evenly, I drive eighteen hours and then you drive eighteen. If we get there too late at night then I’m crashing at your dorm.”
“I know but you must be tired. What with Spencer running in and waking you guys up so early.”
“His alarm caught fire.” Sam shook her head as she pulled into a drive-thru Inside-Out Burger joint. They were EVERYWHERE.
“I know, I heard Hammy barking for twenty minutes, like that was going to put it out.” she laughed as Hammy rubbed his nose into her lap. “I’m only kidding.” she scratched behind his ears; he seemed to forgive her right away.
“What do you want?” asked the blond as she looked over the really small menu.
“The Number One with grilled onions and a milk shake.” Sam raised an eyebrow. “Vanilla.” Carly rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious answer.
“Alright.”
Once the two had their burgers they parked for a moment and Sam stepped out to get something for Hammy to eat out of the back from underneath the tarp they’d thrown over Carly’s motorcycle. She’d made sure to pack some of Hammy’s food for the trip, in case he got hungry.
She’d trained him well enough not to beg while others were eating and instead ate his own food.
“Who wants some food?” Sam asked grinning into the truck from the outside. Her answer came in the form of a hearty bark and a nice lick to the face. He rarely went for the entire face opting for a cheek or her forehead at times. For some reason the word ‘food’ set him off much like ‘ham’ or ‘fatcakes’ did to her.
Sam managed to stuff her face with her double meat burger and fries in less than two minutes. It was followed by her best friend stating quite seriously “That was the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.” They laughed for a good five minutes until Carly was cry and Sam couldn’t breathe.
At 11:46pm they’d passed through more little towns whose names they didn’t pay much mind to, mainly because they’d both broken out of the awkwardness from the morning of the trip.
“Can you believe that he’d actually say that?”
“He’s a boy Sam, you’ll just have to get used to wearing the pants.” laughed the brunette.
“I know it’s something I have to live with.”
There was a momentary pause, on in which Sam had grown used to when this came next.
“I’m sorry that we’ve missed out on so many talks, about your mom and about what you were going through with Roger and Freddie. I wasn’t a very good friend and I should have been the one who was there for you most. I know I’m ranting now but-”
“Carls.” sighed Sam as she flicked from low beams to high after a car passed her. She knew eventually that she would attempt this and already had her answer memorized in her mind. “Look, you had your own stuff going on that kept you busy and honestly when it comes to really sad things you freak out. This isn’t a bad thing; it’s actually great because you’re the type to want everything upbeat. I didn’t want that at the time, I just wanted to deal with it the best way I knew how and being happy wasn’t really part of it. Even after it passed and I was feeling alright I had already grown closer to Fredlumps and you know, feelings came up…” Sam blushed as she thought of the last part.
“I just really hope we can talk about everything, I feel like I missed out on important moments in your life.”
“What would you like to know?”
“Are you sure you want to go down that road again?”
“Carly, as crazy and lame as this sounds, I’ve made some peace with Sarah’s death and with Roger. Everything in my life is how it’s supposed to be.”
“What happened when you, Roger and Freddie went to take your mom to the ocean?” she asked cautiously.
Sam went into a deep conversation with Carly over the events of that entire trip, in detail, it was only fair. Each thing just few from her mouth with ease, like it happened ten years ago.
“I wasn’t sure how or why I got over my anger towards Roger but it was gone before I realized it. I just started to think about how I’d never see Sarah again, hear her voice, and smell her perfume all over the house. I knew I missed her more than I thought I would that’s for sure. I didn’t want to let that happen with Roger, when I had the choice to have him around or cast him off. You know?”
They passed a sign indicating that they were a mere 78 miles from Bismarck, North Dakota.
“Yeah I know what you mean.” Carly looked over at Sam, who had been smiling a bit by the mention of her father. It was kind of cute how much he meant to her now. “So Sam, how about Freddie?”
“I don’t even know where to start in all that mess.”
“You guys seemed like everything was alright between you.”
“Everything is alright, I guess.”
“Well how did this all happen?”
Even though Carly had been working behind the scenes the whole time, she’d only collected so much information. This had been the primary issue with the whole covert operation. Everything she knew about was through observation, not being apart of it. She hated lying to Sam like she had been but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to ever share what she knew. Surprisingly enough she didn’t feel overwhelmed with guilt over the whole thing like she normally would. This felt like it needed to be done and in some part it all worked out. It didn’t feel wrong to Carly to want them to be happy when it was so plainly obvious.
“…and I couldn’t bring myself to let it happen…”
“Because you love him.” Carly stated matter-of-factually. If Sam had been affected by the outright statement; she didn’t show it. The truck remained at the same speed and steady hands gripped the steering wheel securely.
“I don’t see how.” mumbled Sam, as her eyes focused on the darkened road.
“Sure you do, you just don’t like it when things take you by surprise.”
“I hate it when I’m proven wrong.”
“That too.” giggled Carly, who shook her head at the blond. “There’s nothing wrong with being happy. He does make you happy.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know everything.” laughed the brunette, knowing full well that she was getting a little too cheeky for her own good.
“Carls, he’s too far away, it’ll never work out.”
“I don’t know, I have a feeling that by the end of this trip everything will be just right.”
The all-knowing tone of Carly’s voice caused Sam to momentarily turned her eyes away from the road.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing at all.” smiled Carly.
“Is there something going on that I should know about?”
“Nope.” and Carly meant it. She knew about the idea that Roger and Freddie’s mom had come up with, but not all the details. She did know that Freddie knew about their little secret plot. He hadn’t said a word to Carly though, which she’d been grateful for. “I just have a feeling that if you guys really try, you’ll work out.”
“I want to believe that but even he doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships. How am I supposed to go into it when he doesn’t think it’ll work?”
It was like a floodgate to Carly, having the girl driving, sharing like this. One word led to another and before Sam even realized it she was telling Carly all sorts of things that she’d kept bottled up for a few months.
“…I just know that I’ve always felt this way, I just didn’t know what to call it.”
“Normal people call it true love, Sam.” grinned Carly.
“I don’t think I like it.” blotched Sam as the time on the clock changed to 1am and they were only six miles from Bismarck. “Thanks Carls.” she stated smiling at her best friend. She had started to feel tired once it hit midnight and wasn’t sure if she’d make it to her stopping point, but talking with Carly had kept her awake and active.
“No problem, you gave me the easier part of the trip.”
“I don’t know about that, we’ll be entering bigger cities, I should have had you drive the first part of the trip.”
“Its fine, I can handle it.”
“You sure?”
“Totally.”
When Sam’s truck passed the ‘Welcome to Bismarck’ she promised to drive to a gas station to switch for the night. The wind must have picked up while they were driving, she didn’t notice at the time though. It was a bit nippy out as she shivered next to the gas pumps. Carly again when into the gas station to grab some coffee for herself as well as a few snacks for the long trip to Minneapolis, which was about six hours or so away. She’d have to stop somewhere in between to fill up again before they actually reached Minneapolis but it was still a pretty long journey.
With a full tank once again, Carly climbed into the blue beast and got ready for her driving shift while Sam grabbed a blanket and curled up with her fluffy dog on the passenger side. She hadn’t realized how tired was until she allowed her head to rest against his fur. The moment that the truck started up and Carly started on the misty roads of Bismarck, Sam was asleep.
Groggily Sam awoke to the morning sun blinding her from the side mirror.
“Go back to sleep Sam, we still have another hour before we get to Minneapolis.” instructed the surprisingly peppy brunette at the wheel. She didn’t look like she’d been driving six hour straight with minor stops must have been getting to her a little. Sam couldn’t see any effect on her dear friend as the girl smiled out of the corner of her mouth and hummed.
“Right…” she didn’t need to be told twice, she was still a bit tired.
When Sam jumped into the driver’s seat it’s almost seven at night and Carly’s tired from her long driving shift. She doesn’t go to sleep though, opting to wait until they’ve arrived in Syracuse. Since the talk the day before the two had loosened up and Sam was chatting a lot more. The breeze coming through the opened windows whipped their hair about as they turned up the music and sang loudly. It was almost like they were in their own little world as they hit random potholes in the road.
Even Hammy thought he should join in and led his ‘awesome’ voice to the chorus. All that came out were his bad imitations of wolves and slobber when he got too excited.
With the sun in the sky and nothing short of joy bursting from the young women in the truck, their journey continued.
Sam wasn’t sure what she expected when they pulled up to Carly’s dorm building. The school had built this whole new place, something about old leaky pipes in the previous Syracuse dorms. It was a few block away from the school, which seemed convenient enough for her friend. The outer structure was sort of what she pictured an apartment building would look in New York. It was exactly the city but it still had a nice suburban feel to it. It was nice to see a nice deep red brick building once and a while.
What was also nice about it was that it was a single bedroom, studio style place. Carly wouldn’t have to worry about a roommate and she even had a place to put her bike.
As tired as the two girls were they managed to get Carly’s motorcycle off the back of Sam’s truck and into the ‘student’ parking area around the corner of the building. Tiredly they walked up the few steps of the stoop and through a beautiful glass and wood door. Inside there was a single staircase set in the center of the area and four doors on the first floor. From the outside it looked as though there were about five floors all-together.
“What floor are you on?” Sam asked worriedly, looking at the flight of stairs before her. She was far too tired to climb all the way to the top. Hammy seemed to agree, as he plopped down next to Sam’s feet and waited for the two to start up the stairs.
“Actually I’m 1C.” Carly grinned, though her eyes were a bit droopy as she pointed to her right at the door next to 1B.
“Thank all the cheese in the world.” the blond sluggishly worked her tired limbs toward the door and Carly followed, equally tired.
The door opened soundlessly to a room filled with boxes and a bed set up in the far left corner of the room. Supposedly the movers that Spencer hired agreed to set up her bed for her. To their right were a medium sized fridge and a small cooking area. It was a nice sided studio apartment for a new college-bound student.
The two didn’t really care at that moment about changing or even about the fact that it was a maze in there. They saw the bed and both levitated there. Hammy didn’t care much either and found a nice corner of the bed to curl up on as Carly and Sam knocked out the moment their bodies hit the bed.
A blond and brunette stood on the third and fourth steps of a stoop and hugged good-bye for the third time that morning. Sam couldn’t believe that she really had to go off on the rest of the journey alone, without Carly. With another hug and a few hundred glances back at Carly, Sam disappeared around the corner, where her truck still remained. It was so strange, how well this trip really had gone. Nothing bad occurred; they stayed on course and didn’t get lost once.
But now she was by herself, on the open road to Boston. It was a good time to start, even though it was seven in the morning and she would love nothing more than to be asleep. Yet sleeping in a bed, in an unfamiliar place…without Freddie didn’t sit right with her all night long. Carly didn’t mention it but Sam could tell that she noticed it.
Even she noticed the difference; she must have woken up ten different times during the night, only to see a long curtain of hair beside her. It wasn’t the same fluff of hair she’d grown used to though and she’d groan and try to fall back to sleep.
How was she supposed to get through school without that normalcy in her day to day life?
The open road had no answers for her and Hammy didn’t seem to notice her perplexed expression, his head was shoved out the window. His fluffy ears were flapping happily in the wind as his tongue hung out.
“You know what Hams?” she said not looking over at him. “You and I are going to be just fine.”
He barked what she assumed was to answer her back.
The miles passed by as the hours did. She stopped in Fort Plain, Amsterdam, Albany, Westfield, Chicopee, Westborough, Newton, and Brookline before she reached the surface streets in which led to her own studio apartment in Boston. She made sure to mark it exactly on the map as well as get that stupid GPS thing that Freddie thought she needed when she first got her truck. Of course to spite him she stuffed it into the glove compartment and refused to use it for a long while. It only seemed appropriate to use it for her lonely trip to her final destination. It worked pretty well, she hadn’t got lost once since her truck drove into Boston. The streets were alive that afternoon as a coffee colored building came into view. It looked much like Carly’s except that it was something out of a movie. It was only two stories high and seemed to only have the two floors.
After parking she stood on the sidewalk, next to a tree and just stared up at it for a few moments while Hammy sat next to her and looked from her to the building a few times.
It was just like the picture she’d seen online. From what Roger told her there was a married couple living on the first floor.
The stoop was exactly ten thin steps high with a black railing on each side. She took each step slowly, admiring everything around her as if it were going to disappear at any moment.
The door was black wood with a fogged glass in the center. She smiled as she put her key to the building in and pushed the door open.
Because it was a two story building, the door was to the far left corner and the inside for which she found herself was very small. If she could she might be able to fit about ten of her in that tiny space. To her right was a door with a welcome mat on the floor and a nice little hand made plaque that read ‘DeFranco’. Straight ahead were about twelve steps that lead to a door similar to the one on the right and nothing else. To the left was another door, which she’d ask her neighbors about soon.
It was right somehow to her. The building.
With a little nod to herself she started up the steps and to the lone door at the very top. It didn’t seem nearly high enough; the place below, windows from the outside almost touched the ground. She assumed that their place downstairs had that whole ‘basement’ feel to it and sunk in farther.
The door opened and she was amazed to find that some of the stuff had been unpacked and assembled randomly around the apartment. It seemed a bit odd that the guys her father had hired would go to the trouble of unpacking.
With a shrug of her shoulders she threw her backpack down near the front door and closed it, after Hammy trotted inside to inspect.
“This is home Hams.” she informed him and he padded off, becoming hard to see over the few boxes that were piled up.
With her four-legged companion distracted by his new lodgings, she took the time to inspect everything around her. It was clear that Roger had pre-ordered some house essentials for her; some of it didn’t look at all familiar.
Like the few boxes of wires and random remotes. None of it made any sense as she sifted through the boxes. It also appeared that someone had started to unpack and then stopped half way through. A television hung up on the wall, much like the one Carly had received from her father. It looked as though it had all been hooked up properly, from where she was standing. Most of the living room area was clutter-free and it was a bit unnerving how familiar it was to have it set up like this.
Placing some of the miscellaneous wires back into their box she ventured on to some more boxes. Inside a few were random t-shirts, which definitely looked familiar. Most of them were made by Penny, and belonged to Freddie.
“What’s going on?” she asked out-loud as she pulled out the one on top ‘Fries Matter’. “Why are his shirts here?”
As she stood there his scent seemed to float up to her nose as she continued to stare at the shirt in her hands. Even that caused her to miss the nub that she hadn’t seen or heard from in a day and a half. The last time they’d gone this long without some form of contact was during that three weeks after his birthday.
Missing him was still new to her but it was there, deep inside of her chest. It was almost like he was there with her, even though she knew that wasn’t possible or probable as some physicists would say, they meant the same thing anyways.
The shirts wouldn’t have tipped her off that something was amiss, but as she continued her inspections she was starting to wonder. Half of the boxes had Freddie’s belongings in them.
The front door opened; a rustle of bags and a mumbling had her grabbing for the heaviest object she could find. But before she could strike at the intruder she heard his voice, one she couldn’t believe she actually missed.
Freddie stood in between the kitchen and bedroom holding two bags of groceries in hand while he looked up at her in surprise. The object in her grip slid out and hit the carpet as she looked at him in bewilderment.
A million thoughts were going through her mind as she stood there. Part of her thought this might happen, it all added up when she found half of his belongings there.
“Sam…” he gasped out, with many levels of admiration rolling off his tongue. It felt so nice to hear her name on his lips again. For a moment at least, thinking for a whole day that she wouldn’t see him for a long while. That he’d find someone new to love and that she’d be set on the backburner again. That she wouldn’t fight with him, even if it were in a playful manner. It all seemed like the future for them. But there he stood in her apartment, duplex, building, holding groceries like it was normal.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped out, finally gaining some momentum after the shock wore off.
“I live here Sam.” he gave her a confused look, as if to say ‘isn’t it obvious’.
“How? I live here. This is my apartment.”
This conversation was moronic, that much she knew.
“I live here too.” he deadpanned as he turned and headed into the kitchen area, leaving her to follow after. As happy as she was too see him and smell him and hear his voice this was all very confusing.
“I thought you were going to school in California.”
“That’s what you get for thinking.” he smirked. He meticulously emptied the bags, placing each item in a specific pile for their locations.
“What’s going on here Fredlumps?” she scowled, grabbing his forearm and swinging him to face her. Her brows were scrunched up and her lips pierced together tightly.
His shoulders slouched and he sighed, apparently his first approach wasn’t working.
“I didn’t want you tell you that I got into Boston University and that your dad and my mom got us this place so we could live together.” he confessed.
“What? Why would they…I don’t…but…”
“I can’t believe you’re surprised.” he rolled his eyes but still had a little smile on his face. “Did you really honestly think that for a second I’d let you get away?”
He brought his hands up and placed them on the sides of her stunned face and brushed his thumb against her cheek.
“Why wouldn’t you do this though? Couldn’t’ you have just told me about all of this?”
“Sam, you would’ve shot it down before it was final and then I wouldn’t get to surprise you like this.”
“You call this a surprise?” she frowned. “I hate surprises you know.”
“I know, that’s why I did it.” he grinned. “What kind of world would this be if I didn’t piss you off?”
“True, but next time you do this you’re dead Benson. That’s a promise.”
Without warning from the short blonde, she had her lips against his, pushing him against the counter in a frenzy to touch every part of him. The initial shock from her attack wore off in a matter of seconds and he was returning her kisses with just as much passion. It was almost as if they’d been away from each other for years, by the way they were moving about the kitchen, kissing, tugging and shoving each other for control of the situation they were in.
“I can’t believe we’re finally here.” he sighed pulling away and looking down at her. Each time he looked at her like that, with so much love in his eyes, it made her want to punch him. It wasn’t possible that he loved her as much as she loved him. Impossible.
The ‘un-Sam’ part of her wanted to ball her eyes out each time that she realized that he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t moving on from her.
“Now all we need is something to ruin this moment.”
“Like you saying that?” he laughed and pulled her in for a hug. It surprised him greatly when her arms snaked from her sides to wrap around his waist while his remained around her shoulders. They’d never really stayed this way that long and it was just nice to be like this. There was no sight of a possible wedgie in his future as well. Maybe Sam was growing a bit.
“This is so weird.” she groaned, letting her head fall into his chest. “Is this where we just be together?” she asked after a moment.
He’d never expected her to just be so forward about where this was going.
“If you want us to be together.” he pointed out, resting his head on her shoulder.
“You have some say in this too.” she mumbled into his chest.
“I’ve told you a hundred times, I want to be with you.” he mumbled into her hair. The curve of her neck; became a favorite place to put his mouth at that moment. She always smelled amazing; it baffled him to no end. The girl detested being a ‘girl’ and yet she smelled amazing.
“I know.” she conceded, in defeat.
“Then why can’t you just let me?” he asked lifting his lips to her ear.
“I don’t know. I’ve always just expected better for you then me.” the admittance surprised him a bit. He’d known the real reason but hearing it from her was something new entirely. She didn’t like to divulge any of her true feelings or thoughts.
“There’s no one better then you. You’ve got to know that. Be with me.” he hated how unbelievably cheesy they were starting to sound. But it all was coming to this point. It all was meant to be at this moment, like a well scripted movie.
His grip all around her tightened a bit as his cheek came to rest on top of her blond head. Long finger worked their way into tangle blond hair, as she gripped onto his t-shirt.
Sam could only stand there in that moment and breathe him in, the real thing was so much more satisfying than a t-shirt. As she began to accept it a bit more, thinking it felt more natural. She was a woman in love and damn it she was going to love her man.
“Fine.” she conceded, still with her face pressed into his chest more fully, hiding.
“Just fine?”
“What else do you want me to say?”
“Oh…I don’t know…” he started, fiddling with a stray curl. “How about, ‘Oh Freddie, you gorgeous piece of man, how I love you so!’” he stated, attempting to impersonate a woman, badly.
She pulled back a bit to look up at him and for the life of him he couldn’t place that look in her eyes. He’d seen it a few times and didn’t put much thought into it. But now that it was up close and beaming at him behind blue eyes, he had to know what it was.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” she asked tilting her head to the side, looking up at him and wondering why he was looking at her strangely.
“Like…I’m a smoked Ham.” he smiled suddenly as that statement sank in. “I’m…you…”
“What, Benson?” she frowned as he gave her a perplexed look.
“You love me!” he grinned down at her.
“How’d you come to that conclusion?” there was heat around her shirt collar, inching up to the roots of her hair. The entire room felt like someone had stuck them in an oven and she felt her skin begin to clam up. She knew that the tone of her voice had somehow given away her position in this matter. He knew and there was no hiding it. “Fine!” she bit out, pulling away from him and stepping back a bit. His face scrunched up in confusion as she fussed over the subject at hand. “You’re right, okay, happy now?” she glared over at him, which only caused more confusion.
“What…?” he reached his hands out to touch her but she backed away and pointed an accusing finger at him.
“This is your entire fault you little tech nerd!”
“Now wait just a minute, Sam…” he started, sort of insulted by her random jab at him. Normally it wouldn’t have bothered him but she was clearly mad about something. This was serious and he needed to find a way to defuse her. Unfortunately he was cut off midsentence before he could say another word.
“No you listen I talk!”
It was enough to shut him up. He leaned his back against the counter while she stood next to the fridge with her arms folded, hip pushed out to the right.
“Okay.” he nodded and focused on her ever-moving eyes. They blinked rapidly as they searched about to find the right words to say the guy standing before them.
“I’m mean.” she started out. He went to object but she shot a look over at him. “No, I am. I can live with the fact that most people find me to be intimidating and difficult at times. I have the important people in my life, that’s all that’s really mattered to me all this time.” she pushed herself away from the fridge and started to pace back and forth. “I didn’t think that I’d get to this point, where I’d care about anyone. That I could even find someone who basically has sunshine coming out of their backside.” She looked up for a moment and saw the look on his face. “I know it sounds really lame to say but that’s exactly how I see it. You make it impossible for me to get rid of you. I’ve tried so many times to just cast you off and forget about even feeling like this for you, but you are too persistent. You’ve got to shove yourself into every little piece of my life, to where I can’t scrub you out.”
“You’re mad that I like being in your life?”
“No you idiot!” she yelled into his face. She marched over to him and jabbed her index finger into his chest. “I’m mad that I’m in love with you! Happy now?”
The room fell silent for a moment as Sam’s words sunk into their skulls.
Her shoulders slumped as she lost all her energy in that one sentence. The very fact that it fell out of her mouth was just too much for her too handle.
Freddie couldn’t believe it. He knew she cared for him and somehow hoped that she loved him but hearing it out loud sent his heart into a frenzy of new feelings.
“You love me?” he asked as her eyes studied the tops of his shoes. She couldn’t meet his eyes after that confession. “I hoped for the longest time that you would, but I just didn’t see it.”
Her head shot up and she looked alarmed.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No?” he hadn’t meant for it to come out as a question, but it came out that way.
“Oblivious…” she sighed.
“No I’m not!” he frowned.
“Look.” she began, gaining a bit of strength from his confusion. “I’m not great at being in a relationship or even being a good friend-”
"You’re a great friend Sam…”
“Benson…” she warned. “But if you can deal with me not always being all fluff and warmth then I’ll…be…your…you know…”
“My girlfriend.” he grinned, stretching out the word. “My lover, companion, significant other…my…”
“Shut up.” she deadpanned.
“Fine.” he rolled his eyes. Then his eyes caught something lying on one of the boxes on the stove and pulled it out. “Your yearbook.” he smiled softly.
“Yeah…” she was unsure of where he was going with this.
“You remember me telling you the translation of this?” he asked pointing to his entry. “I lied.”
“I had a feeling.”
“Most of it was true but I also told you I loved you in it.” he laughed more to himself.
“I already knew you did.” she admitted, smirking up at him.
“How?” he looked startled once again by her omission.
“You talk in your sleep.” she shrugged.
“I do?”
“Yeah you do.”
“Oh…” he felt his face heat up a bit. “Then you knew this whole time but chose to keep it to yourself?”
“I was trying to get rid of you.”
“I know.” he smiled, taking her delicate hands in his big ones. “That’s what’s kept me going. I also knew that you were going to school out here-”
“So you decided to just ruin your life by-”
“What? No! Sam, I already had this school picked out, but I knew that if I told you that you’d just run off to some other school and we wouldn’t be able to be together.”
“What about Berkley?”
“I’m not going for Mathematics Sam; I’m going for film study. I can only do it here in Boston; well it’s where I want to do it.”
“So you’ve been going behind my back?” there was no accusation behind her statement, she already knew the answer.
“Sort of. You fight for what you want the most and I want you.”
“What about four years down the road, Fredlumps? What if you meet a really interesting film student who likes the same things you do and who’s all sugary sweet to the point of vomiting? What if you don’t want to continue with whatever our relationship is then?”
“Sam, I can’t predict the future but if I wanted that kind of girl then I wouldn’t be standing in this kitchen, in Boston with you, ready t start our life together.”
“Good point.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, you’ve made a good point. But just so that you understand, you had better not go messing around with some skunkbag otherwise you’ll have to answer to ol’ Betsy.” she raised her fist up to his face.
“You’re all the woman I can handle Sam.” he laughed.
“Alright so how’s this supposed to work? Our parents just decided at random to have us sharing a bedroom together in an unknown city, together mind you. Together.” she tilted her head to the side. “We’re here…together…alone…together…”
“Right. We are Sam.”
“Wow…you’re going to be some big shot film guy and…”
“You’re going to be a famous Chef.” he grinned. “I can’t believe you gave up being a lady physicist.”
“I love Physics, but I’ve always loved cooking.” she shrugged. “Besides, that scholarship will be opened to me for the next ten years or so. They really want my brain, as surprising as it is. Maybe after two years of cookin’ school I’ll take them up on their offer.” she winked.
“You are amazing…”
“I know.” rolled her eyes. After a beat she asked, “you don’t think this whole ‘moving in together’ is a huge leap from dating?”
“Have we ever been conventional?”
“Good point. So living together after just really starting our relationship is something we’d do.”
“Yep.”
“So insignificant other, how about we get our home in shape?” she asked, glancing around all the filled boxes. Up until this point Hammy had made himself scarce. But he’d heard the two talking and decided to come in to greet Freddie more properly. With stubby legs he jumped up and pressed his paws into Freddie’s upper legs.
“I’m guessing Hammy approves?” he asked his girlfriend.
“I think he approves, right boy?” she asked Hammy who turned his head towards her and barked.
“I know I do.” Freddie grinned and pulled Sam into another kiss.
Panda Note: Alright guys! This is the end of the story!! I know I know, everyone is a bit sad over it coming to an end. I also know that the ‘Seddie’ shippers are sort of vanishing so this new and final chapter might not be as anticipated as I hoped. But I know that a lot of my awesome internet friends are going to read this and show some love for the dwindling fandom. Seddie will live once more! Also I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! Hug your loved ones and send all sorts of love to someone you don’t know. Everyone needs some good cheer! I know I said that it’s over but expect the epilogue sooner than later! Finally, you can find me on twitter, so if you are on there follow me @pandaville! Thanks to my dearest friends: LunaMoody, Fictions of Legends, Cupcakeslam23, Absolutely_M, PinkJelly, Somerdaye and so many more. You guys know who you are! These ladies have kept me on track and inspired me every chapter. You won’t find better people in this world than them, so go read their fics