Birdhouse In Your Soul - Chapter Six
Chapter Six
By the time that Friday had come around, the three teens had managed to throw something together for the show. After what happened on Monday night Freddie and Sam attempted to get back to normal. The morning in question, you could clearly feel the tension as the greeted each other in the hallway. They stayed as far from each other as possible. Sam looked like she'd rather be somewhere else and Freddie tried his best to act like normal. But they weren't back to where they should be. Once then left the hallways and made it to his car, Sam had every intention of climbing in the back. He gave her a hard look that said out-loud 'Carly is right there, she'll know something is up if you do that'. She slid into the front seat like always and Carly sat in back, missing their silent conversation.
The whole way she made sure that her arm didn't brush his on the armrests. They gave each other significant glances every few minutes and Carly pretended not to notice it all. Sam decided that she should do what she always does and fiddle with his radio for a decent station. Each station had a song that made her glare at the radio until she gave up and left it on whatever station she last stopped on. The song filled the car, causing the two to clam up even more. Freddie gave her a 'why?' look and she just shrugged. The radio hadn't been their friend that morning. The songs that had played were 'Everything You Want' by Vertical Horizon, 'Can't Take My Eyes off You' sung by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and just before they got to school 'It's In His Kiss' by Betty Everett.
The whole day at school had been like that. In classes they were more aware of one another than usual. At lunch they'd try to make sure to no touch each other, while swapping out their lunches. It wasn't as easy as they thought it should have been. Their hands brushed and touched more that day then any other time before. Carly hadn't said a word to them about their strange behavior and they hoped that they were convincing enough.
Sam even wiped her hands on his new shirt after eating a thing of canned cheese, something she would normally do. She cut out the bottom of his bag without him knowing and when they got to his car he wondered why his bag was so light. They bickered all the way home, with more bite than usual. It might have had to do with their hurt feelings. Freddie felt stupid for 'attacking' her like he did. At the time he was just so drawn to her mouth, his hormones shot into overdrive. There was something about her eyes that just seemed to draw him in, what made he react. They were always the brightest and lively when they were arguing or she was being mischievous.
When they got home he had smudges all over his face, his bag was ruined and he had to carry all he books and papers around with him. But he felt better about the whole situation with Sam. She was willing to go back to normal if he could.
Yet something about Monday night still bothered him. She responded to the kiss with just as much need as he did. Was it just because he was a male and she wanted to kiss someone? Or was it because it was him? The kiss was amazing and it had been with the only person he'd ever really kissed, again. It was better then their first time. It could have been because it just happened and he went with a feeling rather than just experimenting.
She was right though, they were friends and that couldn't change, it was too important.
By Thursday things seemed to have calmed down. They worked as much as they could on what they would do for the iCarly show that Friday, with Carly still asking Sam if she was sure if she wanted to do it.
So there he stood watching the two prepare for the show, discussing each bit they'd do and so on. They began to jump around and do random dance moves to get ready.
"Are you sure about this? We could just tell the viewers that there have been personal family issues and we can't do the show night." Carly told the blond next to her, looking a bit worried.
"No, I want to do the show. We can't let the fans down, Carls." Sam smiled up at the brunette and bumped her friend with her hip. "Let's do an awesome show!" she cheered.
Freddie looked over at her while Carly was fiddling with something over by the elevator. The blond raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes. Each time she looked into his eyes she recalled that same look from Monday night, the pure want. It was eternally burned into her mind and as much as things had fallen back into normalcy, that wasn't going away. What did it mean anyways?
She refused to think of what it meant, it was just a fluke. That's what she continued to tell herself over and over until his eyes left hers. It didn't seem fair that he could do this. That night he'd set her skin on fire with just the softest touch. He caught her off guard and disarmed her in a way that she couldn't even begin to understand. He had sent shock waves through her veins as his lips connected with hers. How did someone learn how to do that; the internet? When did the nub become such an expert at that?
Even thinking about it was causing her body to tingle all over. She made sure not to make anymore eye contact with the tech producer.
Carly raised an eyebrow at her when she came back over to the blond. She got really close and whisper to her.
"Are you blushing?"
Sam's eyes grew wide at this and she turned her body so that Freddie couldn't see.
"No." she whispered back.
"Yes you are, your face all pink." jabbed Carly touching her cheek with her index finger.
"Shh, I'm not." She swatted her hand away and tried to calm down. Pretty soon the pink was going away.
"Now you're not. What happened?"
The brunette had seen the little exchange and was getting more and more curious. Freddie looked embarrassed after Sam looked away. He tried to focus on the task at hand while avoiding everyone's eyes.
"Show starts in two minutes!" he called getting his camera ready. This part of it always got them excited, the countdown. Carly ran her hands through her air and stretched her arms. Sam was doing random stretches with her legs, bending the entire thing straight up to the air.
"Goodness Sam, you're flexible. Where did you learn to do that?" Carly asked looking at Sam, impressed. Sam grinned and did some other stretches.
"You remember when we were ten and J'Mamaw came to visit? I went to her house for the summer and she took me to these dance classes. I hated every minute of it and I was always sore but I couldn't say no to her so I just went through the classes. Supposedly I could have been some sort of frilly dancer. No thanks!" she laughed and started to jump around, getting herself pumped up for the show.
"Ready? Starting in 5...4...3...2..."
"Fear not people of earth, this is iCarly, here to save you from boredom!" Carly stated nodding toward the camera.
"This is Carly!" Sam stated using her hands to show off Carly.
"And this is Sam." Carly did the same.
"Tonight we've got a show that we hope you'll enjoy."
"We love hearing from all of our iCarly viewers so tonight we'll be answering your questions."
"Fredward." Sam didn't quite look at his face but rather at his chin as she said this. "Who do we have?"
He also avoided her eyes as he brought up the first question.
"This one's from Lisa F. from Los Angeles. She asks 'Is it true that Spencer can carve a block of cheese into the shape of Sam's head?'"
The two hosts looked at each other and giggled.
"Yes Lisa, it's true. Spencer it's time!" Carly called.
Spencer came in looking around awkwardly as the camera swayed towards him. He gave a wave as he joined his sister and Sam at the table. There sat a nice sized block of cheese and a sculpting knife. He picked it up and gave Sam a good look and then began to sculpt away at the cheese, it didn't take long before he was finished and lifted it up to show the camera.
"I look delicious!" Sam cheered trying to grab the cheese out of Spencer's hand.
"Sam, just wait for a little bit!" Carly scolded. You could hear Sam's sad moan while the camera was still on the block of Sam cheese.
"That's what I'd look like in cheese form people!" Sam said into the camera, pointing at the cheese. "Can I eat it now?" Carly nodded and Spencer handed it over to Sam. She bit into the top part of her head and chewed happily. "Mama loves her some cheese!" she grinned.
Carly giggled at this and Spencer exited before the camera could be put back on him.
"While Sam finishes off the cheese why don't we have another question Freddie?"
Sam nodded in agreement and continued to eat. Freddie held back a smile at this. She was happiest when she had yummy food and it was somewhat endearing. Dare he think, cute?
"Jesse L. wants to know how come Gibby hasn't been on the show lately."
"That's a good question!" Carly grinned. "Gibby has been really busy lately with a certain lady of his. But guess what? He's here tonight just for you! Gibby!" she called and Gibby came out ripping off his shirt.
"Hit it!" he shouted jumping up on the table and doing his hilarious Gibby dance. While this was happening Sam and Carly stood off with Freddie and watched. Sam had somehow ended up squished between her two best friends. She felt all the heat coming off of Freddie and she thought for a moment that she might pass out. When had he started smelling good? The smell of him was all around her and she felt lightheaded.
He was having the same problem. She was so close and she smelled like cherry lollipops. When had he begun to notice how she smelled? It was also dimmer in the room while Gibby's music played. She looked up at him for a moment and he did the same. The glance was intense to say the least. The clear and honest want showed through each other's eyes. In the dark it was much harder to avoid it, even while an episode of iCarly was going on. What they didn't realize was that Carly was watching them from the corner of her eye and had a smile on her face.
Whatever was going on with the two of them must be good, because those looks were speaking volumes to her. She took another note down in her mental notebook.
Once Gibby was finished he grabbed his shirt and waved good-bye to the camera and vanished out of the elevator. Carly and Sam resumed their positions in front of the camera and continued with the show.
After the hour was up the group wished their fans a good night and week and ended the show.
"That was a really good show guys! Seriously random and we didn't even plan it out like we usually do." Freddie commented smiling.
"Yeah, it was and having Gibby back on the show was great." Carly replied taking a sip of her water. "Did he lose weight? He looked great out there."
"It looked like it." he agreed, though he hadn't been paying much attention to Gibby until he passed by to go to the elevator.
Sam leaned against the car partly listening to their conversation with a strange look on her face.
"Sam?" Carly called and she looked up.
"Yeah?" she asked looking thoughtful.
"Are you okay? You seem a little lost at the moment." she came over and leaned up against the car with her.
"Oh, yeah I’m fine. Just thinkin'" she shrugged.
"Is that even possible?" Freddie joked. "Isn't there sawdust up there." he poked her in the forehead and grinned down at her.
"At least there's something in there, other than the wind." she countered.
"Guys." Carly sighed.
"He started it." Sam stated pointing an accusing finger at Freddie, glaring.
"No I didn't." he replied, denying it.
"Yes you did you nub!" she shouted getting angry. He began to laugh at her, hard. "What the flip is your problem you moronic dork!" she growled.
"Your face!" he countered.
"What!?" she shouted again, her face growing red. He was still laughing even as his death loomed before him at 5'7 and petite. Her blue eyes were alive, just how he liked them. He'd never tell her that or anyone else if he could help it.
"What are you going to do about it?" he taunted her grinning like a moron. Carly looked from him to Sam, scared out of her mind at what would transpire in a few seconds. What was Freddie thinking?
The next thing she knew Sam had pounced and Freddie went down to the ground. Carly half expected it to end there, that Freddie was done for. Sam had the upper hand for a few minutes, pinning him down and pulling his hair. He wasn't having any of that and managed to link his leg behind hers and flip her over so that he was now on top. He made sure to pin down her legs and hands so she couldn't attack.
"That wasn't very nice Sam." he grinned down at her. She glared up at him and growled. She wiggled from underneath him in a sad attempt to get up.
"Get off Freddork!"
Carly laughed nervously at this and found that despite the situation this looked intimate. The way that Freddie was looking down at her was intense. Even Sam seemed to be having trouble ignoring the closeness. She debated whether or not she should break this up before something happened. Then again maybe she should just leave them alone.
"Uh...guys..." she started, trying to get her attention.
They continued to bicker back and forth while looking at each other in a way that she's never seen before. It was hard to watch something as powerful as this was.
"You're an idiot!" she yelled in his face. "Sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you."
"I wonder the same thing myself, when it comes to being friends with you." he replied. "I must be out of my mind."
"I'd say I have to agree. Look at who your mother is. That woman belongs in a straight jacket."
"Don't talk about my mother like that." he didn't actually care what she said; he'd heard it all before.
"It's hard not to when you give me all the best opportunities to."
"That's so stupid!"
"So is your face!"
"That was the lamest comeback I've ever heard!" he chuckled.
Sam was starting to get annoyed by how cocky he was being about this whole thing. He was stronger then before and she wasn't sure how she was going to get out of this.
Then a thought came to mind. It was dirty and underhanded but he was being so damn annoying that she couldn't deal with what her body was doing from the contract. His hands weren't hurting her at all but they were still forceful. Yet every little imprint in his fingers were sending the same shock waves as before. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to get off of her, if it meant keeping that feeling alive. But she couldn't stay like that with him in the middle of the iCarly studio.
She decided then to act. To end this before Carly started to think that something was up. She stopped struggling and laid still. He looked confused by this but didn't let her go. Next she pushed away her anger and smiled up at him. Now he was really confused. What was going in her mind? He could tell that she was up to something, he just wasn't sure what. He kept his eyes fixed on her face and waited for her to make her next move.
She was still able to move her head, which she did. She got close to his face and then brushed her cheek against his as she made her way to his ear. He froze in shock as she nibbled on the tip of his earlobe. Then she worked her way down his jaw. His hold was starting to waver, she could feel it. She wasn't even sure what she was doing, she'd never acted like this with a boy before. But he wasn't moving and this seemed to cause him to lose his concentration. He made a strange noise in his throat and closed his eyes for a moment.
"So that was your plan, huh." he whispered, his voice coated in something else she couldn't place.
She reached his neck and nibbled on a piece of his flesh, which must have been sensitive because he let go of her arms and jumped up. She sat there on the floor watching him run out of the room quickly. She was definitely confused now.
Carly stood there with her mouth agape like a fish. She was trying to form a sentence but nothing was coming out but a weird gurgling sound.
Had she gone too far this time? Why did she even decide to do what she just did? Where was her brain just now? For that matter how did she find a spot on his neck that would freak him out?
"Glad that's over." she found herself saying, still sitting on the floor looking at Carly. She could still feel his hands on her, his soft skin on her lips. This was so wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Getting up she headed for the door and left a stunned Carly standing in the middle of the studio.
"What the chopsticks was that?!" she finally said out loud to thin air. ‘Did Sam just….I don’t even know what to call what she just did?’ she thought to herself standing there looking at the spot where her two friends had just been. This whole situation amplified her belief that something was up with her two friends.
At three in the morning Sam found herself unable to sleep. A certain tech producer kept coming to her in dreams and she was pretty fed up with it. What right did the nub have invading her only escape from reality? There had to be some way to end all these weird body reactions. She couldn't continue reacting to him like this. Something bad was going to happen and she'd end up losing someone she thought of as a dear friend. This would never be said out loud though; it was safe in the recesses of her mind, where they belonged.
Freddie didn't return after his magnificent exit. He texted Carly and told her that he'd see her Saturday. Speaking of Carly, she hadn’t said much to her after that little ‘moment’. She was still in shock after it and just informed the blond of Freddie’s text then excused herself to take a long shower.
Saturday was when she decided to carry out the rest of her mother's wishes. One of the reasons she had put it off for a whole week was because of Roger.
She turned over and looked up at the ceiling. From the high windows she could faintly see the lights from outside shine through in rays of blues and greens.
Roger hadn't called or came by again and she didn't know how to get in contact with him. As much as she wanted to forget he existed she knew she couldn't. Her mother had a few requests for her that she had discussed with a lawyer on Wednesday. Sarah had actually had things set up without her knowing. One wish of hers was that Roger be there when Sam released her into the ocean. Despite her feelings she had to at least do this one act for her. Her feelings for Sarah hadn’t changed much, there was still a bit of spite leftover.
For a moment she wondered if she should ask Carly and Freddie to come along on her grand adventure. Carly most likely, she knew she’d need a friend there to distract her from having to talk to Roger. A part of her wanted to have the little nerdy nub there too, she wasn’t really sure yet why that might be.
It was too early to decide yet, she still had to find Roger.
Rolling back onto her stomach, curled up and pressed her face into the pillow. The one in which Freddie had slept on. It was sad and down right pathetic but it seemed to help her sleep better. It felt almost as though he were right there with her. That thought scared her in so many ways that she couldn’t describe. Nothing could ever come of this little ‘fling’ if it could even be called that. He was just infatuated with her and would get over it once he was at his fancy school. At least that’s what she continued to tell herself as she pushed away any feelings for him. She could never tell anyone about this, never; not even Carly.
She was the last to wake up that morning. Spencer was cooking Canadian bacon and chorizo with eggs. It smelled amazing. Her feet led her into the kitchen, still wearing her pajamas which consisted of some boxer shorts and a tank top. Last night it was a little warm and she couldn't stand sleeping in pants. Normally she wouldn’t dare to wear anything as ‘revealing’ as this. Not when there were two males around who were still pretty young and hormonally driven. She knew she didn’t have to worry about Spencer, since he was like her big brother, but that Freddie, he was a different story completely.
"Good morning sunshine!" greeted Spencer as he mixed the meat around. He looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at her attire.
"That smells good." she mumbled going straight for the coffee pot, ignoring his raised eyebrow. For some reason she just couldn't get a good nights sleep last night. She hadn't realized that Carly wasn't there. At first she figured that the girl was still asleep, which never happened on Saturdays but Spencer cleared that up.
"Carly had to go to Yakima for the day to help Granddad with a few things."
"Oh." she frowned and felt kind of low after hearing this. She needed Carly for this one.
"What's the matter?" he moved the skillet off the stove top and turned it off. Then he came over and sat across from her at the island counter.
"Its nothing." she took a swig of her coffee and then scratched at her head. She needed a shower bad, her hair was a mess and she was pretty sure she smelled funny.
Spencer was just sitting there, arms folded and staring at her intently.
"Sam, you do know that I'm here if you need me, or if you don't but still want to talk or eat cheese. The point is that you're more than welcomed to come to me if you need to talk."
She took another swig and gave him a thoughtful look. He was right; she knew she could go to him if anything were bothering her. Despite his unorthodox way of running a household she knew that he was someone she could count on. He’d do anything for Carly and herself, she knew this. So why couldn’t she just tell him why her heart hurt a little bit?
"I'm supposed to take my mother's ashes to the beach today." she blurted out quickly to get it out of the way.
"Oh." he looked down at the counter surface for a moment. "You wanted Carly there with you when you did it. I'm sorry I didn't know Sam." he looked crestfallen.
"Why are you sorry?"
"Granddad asked either one of us to go and I figured I'd stay and cook you some food while Carly goes there to help him out." his shoulders slumped a bit. “Besides that sculpture that’s due tomorrow isn’t close to finished.” he added as an afterthought.
"Spencer, its fine; I sort of have to find Roger and have him tag along." she said timidly, which was very unlike her. She felt weird mentioning his name with Spencer. What with how he defended her in the hallway the other day. It was sort of taboo in her mind to bring up someone that he was trying to protect her from.
"You do? Well that's fine Sam. But maybe I should go with you." he suggested going into ‘big brother’ mode.
"Would you?" she didn’t mean to ask him to go with her.
"Yes! Maybe we could get Freddie to come with us. His car is safer after all." he looked in deep thought for a moment and then nodded to himself. "Yeah that would work out just fine."
"Spencer, I think it’ll be okay going with Roger. Don't you have to finish that sculpture for that art dealer by Sunday?" she attempted to distract him by reminding him of what he had just stated minutes before. She cared for Spencer and dare-she-think, loved the goof like a big brother, but she didn't want to make this some big thing. It was going to be bad enough with Roger there. Should she ask Freddie to go? Just for the sake of company besides Roger. If Spencer were to go she’d end up blubbering all over him the whole time. At least with Freddie there she’d be able to hold herself together and get through it in one piece.
"Oh yeah! I'm sorry again Sam. I'm failing you!" he wailed dramatically.
"No you're not. I'll ask Freddie to go with me so that I don't have to deal with Roger the whole way. You need this guy to buy your art, 12,000 is a lot of money." she prodded, trying to make him feel better.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, just go wow them like you always do." she grinned at him. He liked seeing Sam happy; it made him happy as well. But he wondered why she didn't want him to go. Of course he wasn't going to ask her, though he had his own theory as to why she didn’t want him to go. She had a tendency to act differently with him then with other people. Because of their long history she didn’t care if he saw her cry or get upset, just like with Carly. Not that she had any defining moments he felt he had to write down. But he’d seen her other sides and kept them to himself. Big brother Spencer to the rescue! He grinned to himself as an image of him in a super hero get-up came to mind.
"I'll dazzle them!" he cheered, throwing up his fist into the air.
"So..." she started looking over her shoulder. “Are we going to eat or keep it over there as decoration?" she asked in regular Sam fashion. The delicious smells were working their way across the loft and Sam was trying to keep herself seated while he got her a plate.
Glancing over at the clock on the wall she found that it was almost ten. Freddie would be walking through the door in five seconds. Just as the big hand moved towards the twelve she heard a knock and Spencer yell to come in.
Freddie opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him. Sam didn't bother to look up as Spencer placed a nice helping of food before her.
"Morning Spencer." he stated and went to the coffee pot. "Sam." he added in his usual 'I'm irritated with you' voice.
"Buenos días, Freddie." Spencer grinned at the younger male.
"Meh..." she replied and began to eat her food. Food was all that was on her mind at the moment and nothing could sway her from it.
Carly had mentioned to him many times that the two teens in his kitchen belonged together. He didn't really want to get involved with their 'love' lives but each time he was around the two he wondered. Sam was obviously refusing to look over at the tech producer while he was a bit flustered and angry. Underneath all that bickering there had to be some romantic feelings, right? Whatever happened last night, Carly was unable to explain it. He vaguely remembered seeing Freddie running out of the loft in a hurry. But he hadn't noticed anything other than that. Carly was still in shock as she left at eight that morning. Poor kid probably would be traumatized for life now.
"Oh crap!" Spencer suddenly snapped up.
"What?" Sam found herself asking while stuffing more Canadian bacon in her mouth. Freddie, with his coffee, sat down across from Sam while Spencer took the seat beside her.
"I'm late!"
"For what?"
"Socko has some of the art supplies I'll need to finish up my sculptures, there's so much to do!"
Sam turned her eyes to the older man next to her and wanted to laugh. She spun around in her seat and smacked his forehead.
"Spencer! Relax." she began. "You're a great artist and you always seem to get things together before the deadline. Just get a move on and go 'dazzle' them." she smiled up at him. He tilted his head to the side and looked at her thoughtfully. Sometimes she could be nice; those there the moments he put away and brought out whenever she became Satan. "Spencer?" she waved her hand before his face. "Hey, snap out of it." she snapped her fingers before his face. Without warning his arms snapped out and pulled her into a hug. She felt her eye twitch a little at this. Spencer was too random for her at times. She patted his back awkwardly, not sure why he was even hugging her anyway. "Uh..." was all she could manage.
He pulled back and kissed her forehead and sprung up from his seat. He vanished into his room to get ready, she assumed.
"That was weird." Freddie stated drinking the rest of his coffee. Not really sure how he should feel about what Spencer just did.
"You’re telling me and I was right at the receiving end of it." she finished off her breakfast and got up to place the plate in the sink.
"What are you wearing?" he asked upon seeing her in such a small amount of clothes. She usually had on long sleeved shirts or t-shirts and baggy pajama bottoms. His eyes were wide and he was gaping much like Carly had the night before.
"Clothes." she stated rolling her eyes at him. The cup on the table called her over to finish it, which she did in two gulps. "So Fredward what the cheese-doodles happened to you last night?"
He looked extremely embarrassed. His cheeks were bright red and he refused to look right at her.
"Nothing, I had something I had to do." he mumbled.
"Yeah right, what happened? You practically took off the door when you left."
"I don't want to talk about it." his blush growing by the second. Sam decided to just drop it. "Where's Carly?" he asked trying to change the subject, which she didn't mind him doing. Maybe it was best that she not know why he left last night.
"Yakima."
"Why's she in Yakima?"
"I guess her Granddad needed help or something." she shrugged. She was still a little sad about having to go without her. How was she supposed to ask him to go with her without sounding like she actually wanted him to go? "So what are doing today?" she asked casually.
"Nothing actually; I thought we were all going to do something but I guess I'm stuck with you." he sighed.
"Nope, I have to go to the beach today."
"Why?"
"I've got another request to finish for Sarah." she shrugged again. Something crossed his face then and he suddenly forgot all about his embarrassment.
"Are you going to the one in Seattle or out of town?"
"I was thinking about leaving town to do this one. I still have to find Roger."
"Why would you want to?" he scowled. She glared at him and folded her arms. Normally it wouldn’t have bothered her that someone else felt the same distaste for Roger, but why would Freddie? He wasn’t involved in any of it after all.
"I don't want to but Sarah wants him there." she frowned and gripped her arms a little tighter.
"Oh." he looked away and took the scowl off of his face.
"I just don't know where to find him." she sighed. "I really don't want to see him."
"I'll go with you if you want." he offered. Played him like a fiddle. How on earth did she know he would say that? She half expected him to just dismiss himself from the loft and go on about his own day. But this was Fredward Benson after all, he wouldn’t leave a person hanging, even if they flushed his pet fish down the toilet. Not that his mother would allow him to have a fish, she’d probably say they’re filled with disease and that Freddie was allergic.
"I suppose so, but we're going in your car. My truck doesn't have enough room." she told him, rather than asking.
"Fine." he grumbled folding his arms over his chest.
"Now how am I supposed to find Roger?"
Freddie fidgeted in his seat as she paced trying to come up with an idea.
"I think I know how you can find him." he said nervously.
She stopped pacing and looked at him skeptically. She could clearly see that he was uncomfortable and a little nervous. He knew something had been keeping it from her, she could tell by the way he looked away from her guiltily.
"Fredward, what did you do?" she narrowed her eyes at him, he visibly flinched as she stared him down.
He sighed and went to the computer.
"You remember last Friday after the show you went home to get clothes and stuff?" she nodded. "Well I was checking out comments and messages on iCarly and he sent one in wanting to get in contact with you. I thought that I'd message him first to find out if-"
"It was my father or not?" she asked.
"Yeah, we didn't want you to get mad or something so we decided to wait. I knew that you might not want to even see him. So I just kept it to myself. Sorry."
"I wouldn't have wanted to know he messaged but if it'll help get in contract with him, let’s do this."
"He left a contact number on the message he sent last." he stated getting into his 'tech mode'. He went through the messages until he cam upon on that had 'Roger Puckett' at the bottom as well as the sender address. "Do you want me to call him?" he asked glancing over at her.
"No I'll do it." she pulled out her phone and went over to the other side of the counter to get the number. Once she dialed it in and pushed the green talk button, she knew there was no turning back.
It rang three times before a very deep voice answered on the other end.
"Hello?" It sounded as if he had just got up. She wasn't sure if this was such a good idea.
"Roger?" she asked keeping her voice as emotionless as she could.
"Yeah? Who's this?" he asked grumpily. He was obviously not a morning person.
"Sam." she rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Sam." he repeated more awake now. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he started throwing questions at her a mile a minute. He sounded almost concerned for her well-being as his assumptions grew.
"No, I called to tell you that I have to take Sarah's ashes to the ocean at Port Williams and she wrote in her will that you need to be present." That sounded diplomatic to her. At least she wasn't shouting at him. That was a new one for her. "Look just be down at the lobby by 11 and we'll go. My friend is driving."
"I'll be there."
"Okay, bye." she said quickly and hung up. Her head hurt and her chest felt like it was being pressed on. She wasn't usually afraid of anything or anyone but seeing he again was going to be hard. What would she even say to him? It was a good thing that Freddie was going, even though she wanted nothing more then to put distance between them. It was the best way not to either kill Roger or get too emotional around him.
"He's coming?" Freddie asked. She hadn't realized how close they were to each other and she jumped slightly. She had to get a hold on herself. Walking into the kitchen she began to straighten up.
"Yeah he's going to be here at 11 so I need to go get a shower and get ready. We'll have to stop at the mortuary to get her ashes.” she spoke over her shoulder.
Freddie had taken notice to her sudden distance and knew that it might be this way for a while. They both seemed to be having some problems keeping their hands off of each other. This was how it had to be for a while. Speaking for his own hormones, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her until she couldn't stand on her own. What sort of thoughts are those to have for your best friend? He couldn't even recall having such thoughts when it came to Carly. In his defense he was a lot younger then. Even if he sat and tried to imagine something like that happening, nothing came. His mind was blank with only a smiling Carly in it. Kissing her would just be uncomfortable now.
He sat there for the five minutes while Sam cleaned the dishes and counter that Spencer had made a mess of. His eyes were locked onto her small form. He'd never seen her wear such a small amount of clothing before. It made him feel uncomfortable.
She always went around with three or more layers of shirts and had jeans or those tight plaid shorts she loved so much. Seeing her like this was a little weird to him. He noticed that she looked amazing for someone who had rolled out of bed and came downstairs. It made he notice that Sam didn't wear make-up. He thought she did, but she didn't really need it. He never knew there were girls who didn’t need to wear make-up to look as good as they usually did.
"Freddork, I'm going to shower." she told him and then started up the stairs.
He sat there for about fifteen minutes before he heard the water upstairs shut off. About five minutes after that Sam came back down stairs, fully clothed and her hair mildly wet. She had on a faded pair of jeans with about three different layers of shirts. Each one had a different pattern and color, yet it worked.
"Do you know how to get to Port Williams from here?" he asked her while she laced up her shoes.
"You jump on the 104 going west I believe. We take it through Kingston. I'll make sure to bring a map." Once she was done lacing up her converse she grabbed her bag and headed for Spencer's door. "Hey Spencer, we're leaving!" she yelled through the door.
"Okay, have a safe drive! I won't be home until after nine tonight. Call me when you get there!" He called back.
"Okay! Good luck!"
She grinned and headed for the front door. Freddie followed behind her and she briefly wondered if she should tell Mrs. Benson about what they were going to do.
"Does your mom-"
"She knew you were cremating her and didn't want to be there when…you know." he answered.
"Oh, okay." she dropped it. She didn't feel like talking much about the subject for which the trip involved.
"I'll go get my backpack and keys and I'll meet you at the elevator." he vanished into his apartment for a moment while she wandered over to the elevator to wait. She mentally prepared herself for this hour long drive to Port Williams. After what happened a few days ago she wasn't sure how this was going to go. What would happen once the trip was over? Would she just go back to pretending he didn't exist? He would take this little trip as a sign that she was ready to talk to him. Was she?
Freddie soon joined her at the elevator and they got inside. Somewhere in her mind this seemed like a bad idea to stand in an elevator with him. So she took one corner while he took the other. They glanced over at one another and then looked straight ahead.
Roger stood off by the front door of the lobby when then walked out. Lewbert was screeching about hanging around the lobby but the just ignored him. Sam cleared her throat and Roger looked behind him. He looked uncomfortable just looking at her. She folded her arms and Freddie stood to her left just in case he was needed.
"Sam." he looked at her and his eyes grew sad for a moment. Sam felt completely uncomfortable by this and shuffled her feet a little.
"Let's go." she said and started for the parking lot. Freddie followed her and soon Roger did as well. She went to her truck and grabbed the map in the glove compartment. She joined the two other males and climbed into the front seat while Roger got in back and Freddie got into the driver's seat. Roger must have already decided that he’d be sitting in the back. Besides the front seat was Sam’s.
After they went to get Sarah's ashes they headed for the freeway, 104 and got on it heading for Kingston. Sam rested her head against the side of the car door and watched the signs they passed. The radio was playing at a medium volume but she wasn't sure what the music was. Getting bored of it she reached over to Freddie's side of the car and started pulling out random CDs from the case on the visor.
"Sam!" he snapped at her for obstructing his vision.
"What? I'm tired of this music." she smacked the side of his head.
"Warn me next time!" he glared over at her before returning his eyes to the road.
She just rolled her eyes and put in one of the CDs that she saw that was random. It was mostly white, with unreadable writing on it; but decided to check to see what it was.
The car filled with a slow piano playing and a guy singing, asking 'Did you know what you were doing, did you know'. She raised an eyebrow and pushed the next button. They sounded alright so she left them playing.
"Who's this band Dweeb?" she asked.
"Mae." he answered, annoyed by the nickname.
Roger hadn't uttered a word at all since they left. Freddie noticed that he was watching them and listening to their conversation. It was weird having her father in the car with them. But it was safer then the two of them being alone in a car far from home. Roger looked thoughtful and deep in thought yet still fully aware of the two teens in the front seat.
They got off the ferry and continued on their way through Kingston, it had been packed so they had to remain in the car the whole way.
After about an hour driving they had passed Kingston, Port Gamble, Port Ludlow and were nearing the 101 which they had to jump on to continue to Port Williams. Freddie made the appropriate turn and they continued on toward Sequim Bay and she checked the map to find that Port Williams was getting closer by the second. Once they reached Sequim they took Sequim Ave and made a right on Port Williams Road all the way to the outskirts of the beach. The entire way they passed by tall trees and grassy plains. It was cloudy out that day and a bit cold but the three silently made their way to a secluded area where there were no people at all. Sam held the container in her arms and couldn't believe what she had to do now. The black container had a white label on top that had her mother's name and information on it.
Would letting these go be like erasing her from existence? She wondered to herself. Her eyes fell on Roger for a moment and he looked just as lost as she felt at that moment. Sam knew somewhere inside her that he had loved Sarah very much. That he might still love her after all the time that passed. She understood the situation a little better but her feelings toward him were more selfish. He left her too and she wasn't sure if she could believe what her mother said about him loving her. How does someone just up and leave and not bother to check in and see how their child was?
She looked to the waters and took a brave step forward. She felt the other two move along with her until they reached the rim where water met land.
"Sam." Roger started and she looked over at him. "If you're not sure about this I could do it for you." Her eyes narrowed a bit and she shook her head.
"I don't need your help. I can do this." She slipped out of her shoes and headed into the waters. Freddie stood on the shore and waited. He didn't think he had to be there when she did it. It was personal to some degree. If she really needed him she knew he was right there, just a glance away.
He watched as the let her mother go off into the waters. She stood there for a while and watched the wave move back and forth. She gave a small smile up to the sky, even though she wasn’t really looking toward the heavens. Rather she hoped that the winds would carry her wherever she wanted to go. Somewhere she could finally find love and feel joy. It was weird for her to think such things but that’s just how she felt.
"Let's get going, Sam." Roger stated; he had been standing next to her the whole time watching his love vanish into the dark waters.
"Fine." was all she said and headed back to Freddie who had her shoes in his hand.
The drive home was silent once again. This time Sam didn't look are speak to anyone and she avoided eye contact. Roger was also looking out the window in deep thought. Freddie wasn't sure what he should say or do about this.
The meeting with her father had been anticlimactic. It seemed that they were both more a like then they realized. They both were too stubborn to discuss anything and he was pretty sure that Sam was having her own thoughts about what would happen next.
Sam on the other hand couldn't figure out anything good that would come of having Roger around. What would they do? He must have some sort of life outside of Washington or around Washington that didn't involve her. Wouldn't that be like her invading his life? Not that she really cared either way. But it seemed like another stepping stone to overcome.
As for her mother, she felt relieved that she finally could let her go free. She wasn't very spiritual or anything but she liked to think that a soul never dies and her mother's had another chance to live out there somewhere again. Maybe she would finally be able to be happy. She kept continuing this train of thought, because it somehow gave her peace.
That made her smile a little to herself. Maybe this was why her family cremated. Her mother had once talked to her about spirits and souls and how souls get more then one chance to live.
It stuck with her and she even believed it to an extent. She glanced over at Freddie and he was focusing on the road, yet he was aware of her. She knew it. He was waiting for something to happen, anything.
The rest of the drive fell into a comfortable silence. Roger seemed to be wondering the same thing as her. Nothing was going to happen right away and they both knew it would take time before they could ever be close. Sam wasn't even sure how to act with having an 'involved' parent after all those years of doing things for herself. If she were to have him in her life he'd be an added thing, not an asset. She really didn't need anything from him. But she suddenly felt like she should at least have a chance to know him, again. With her mind made up she turned to Freddie and pinched his forearm.