Hurt - ONESHOT!
Title: Hurt
Author: mirazuki_yuuri
Pairing/Subject: YamaRyu, YabuTo (it can't be helped coz I love Keito.. XDD), mentioned! HikaChii
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Summary: two people from different worlds aren't mean to be together..
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys...or their ass..(okay,maybe I'm plotting something that involves kidnapping Keito and marry him everyday before I sleep XD)
A/N note: Unbeta-ed. Based on All-American Reject's Straightjacket Feeling. I miss Ryu T_T .
Yesterday was hell
But today, I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
“I’m sorry…”
“No!”
“Ryo…”
“Don’t you dare!”
The younger boy turned to look at the oldest in the group. As if getting what the former was thinking, he softly pulled Yamada from his boyfriend.
“Yamachan…”
“Yabu-kun, please… don’t let him go. You love him too right? Tell him to stay. Please,” the pleading almost made Yabu give up. But no, he’s in no position to decide.
“Yabu-kun, take good care of Ryo for me, would you?” All Yabu managed to do was nodding. He walked away, ignoring the cracks formed in his chest as his boyfriend wailing and crying for him not to leave. It’s for the best. Not that he had any choice left.
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I saw you performing the new song. Fake smiles and puffy eyes concealed by loads of make-ups. It hurts. Really. But I just can’t face you right now.
“If you miss him that badly, just give him a call,” Juri told me one day after he caught me daydreaming during class. I threw him a nasty look. Didn’t he already know that I’m not allowed to keep in touch with him, in any way possible?
“Here, use mine. You better call him or I’ll kill you. I can’t stand seeing my bestfriend living like a zombie,” he shoved his black cellphone into my hand before leaving me alone at the rooftop.
I remember your number, I remember your mail address, I remember you face, I remember your kisses, I remember your touches, I remember all about you. But I just can’t do this.
Juri almost kicked my ass when I returned his phone that afternoon.
And when that memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
It’s been 5 months?? No. 7 months. Yamachan looked better nowadays. He would smile at Inoo’s random remarks, laugh whenever Hikaru made fun of Yuya’s hair or simply join Yuto planning pranks on Daiki.
After he left, grief took over the ever so noisy dressing room. Yamachan would cry all day. On less stressful days, one would find him at the emergency stairs, sobbing while looking at his phone. He’s waiting for him to call. I didn’t tell him what Juri told me and Keito when we accidentally met him during our date the other day.
“He won’t call. I told him millionth times already. He’s like a zombie himself. I’m so gonna kick his flat ass when he comes to his sense later.”
Silently, I thanked god for giving me the love I need. The love that I knew would risk his life just to make sure I’m happy.
And only lonesome you remains
And just the thought of you I fear
It falls away
“Yamachan, let’s go!” No respond. I walked closer and apparently, his mind was flying somewhere else. “Ne, Yamachan,” I poked his cheek and he finally turned to look at me, “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Koki-kun’s place. He invited us for his birthday party, remember?” Daichan answered.
“Oh. You guys go first. I’ll be there later.” We knew you wouldn’t come. And we also knew there’s no use forcing you. Ryu’s leave made a great impact to our lives. The usual noise and messy JUMP resumed, but everytime we laugh, we felt like something was missing.
I hope Yamachan realize that whatever he may feel, he’s not alone. We love Ryutaro too.
But today, I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
He didn’t pick up my calls or reply my mails. Yeah, I risked my career just to hear his voice again. Is love supposed to be this… hurtful?
People around kept blaming him for what happened. Accusing him for being an insolent brat, having all but ruined everything for the sake of the fucking cigarettes. What they failed to see was it’s all my fault. For being too comfortable with all the attentions, too confident with my dances, too absorbed into being called the Golden Boy and too stupid to realize that I hurt him in the process. And he decided to turn to something that he knew won’t ever ditch their date or ignore him because of the endless works.
If being surpassed by his own little brother had hurt him much even he didn’t bother to show it, having his boyfriend, the love of his life did the same thing broke him into pieces.
I broke him into pieces that I know no one could ever put the pieces back into place. Not even me.
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
I sat on the bench, waiting for him. I reread the mail for the nth times already. A smile crept up my mouth without me realizing.
Meet me at the usual place at 4.
I didn’t care it was short. I didn’t care he didn’t say he miss me. I didn’t care he didn’t say he love me. I didn’t care if Jimusho fired me for meeting him.
He still kept my mail address. He still remembered me. For all that matters.
“Been waiting long?” Finally. After these torturing months, I got to hear his voice again.
I gave him the best smile I could muster. “Not really. Come, sit here,” I patted the empty space beside me. He hesitated a bit, but sat nonetheless.
“Hey, do you know Yabu-kun is planning to propose Keito next week? He’s so sweet, don’t you think?”
“Yeah…”
“I wonder if we can be like them…”
“Ryo…”
“And Hikaru-kun confessed to Chinen the other day too...”
“Let’s break up.”
Minutes passed in silence. I looked up to him, ignoring the blurry vision and the aching heart. He’s crying too. Then why?
“I love you too much that it hurts so bad Ryo. I should see this coming. No matter how I try to convince myself it’ll be alright, I know it won’t. You know it too. You’re getting too far within my reach. I can’t force you to stay down low with me, and I can’t be in the same level as you either. Don’t tell me you are willing to let it all go, because I know damn well this job has become your life. I just can’t stand any of this anymore…”
Everything he said smacked me right on my face. That’s the truth.
“Take care.”
He stood up, hands in pocket and he leaned in to press our lips for a kiss. The last kiss. When I opened my eyes, he’s gone.
Goodbye.
This is another fail. I might stop writing for the rest of my life..
Author: mirazuki_yuuri
Pairing/Subject: YamaRyu, YabuTo (it can't be helped coz I love Keito.. XDD), mentioned! HikaChii
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Summary: two people from different worlds aren't mean to be together..
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys...or their ass..(okay,maybe I'm plotting something that involves kidnapping Keito and marry him everyday before I sleep XD)
A/N note: Unbeta-ed. Based on All-American Reject's Straightjacket Feeling. I miss Ryu T_T .
Yesterday was hell
But today, I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
“I’m sorry…”
“No!”
“Ryo…”
“Don’t you dare!”
The younger boy turned to look at the oldest in the group. As if getting what the former was thinking, he softly pulled Yamada from his boyfriend.
“Yamachan…”
“Yabu-kun, please… don’t let him go. You love him too right? Tell him to stay. Please,” the pleading almost made Yabu give up. But no, he’s in no position to decide.
“Yabu-kun, take good care of Ryo for me, would you?” All Yabu managed to do was nodding. He walked away, ignoring the cracks formed in his chest as his boyfriend wailing and crying for him not to leave. It’s for the best. Not that he had any choice left.
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I saw you performing the new song. Fake smiles and puffy eyes concealed by loads of make-ups. It hurts. Really. But I just can’t face you right now.
“If you miss him that badly, just give him a call,” Juri told me one day after he caught me daydreaming during class. I threw him a nasty look. Didn’t he already know that I’m not allowed to keep in touch with him, in any way possible?
“Here, use mine. You better call him or I’ll kill you. I can’t stand seeing my bestfriend living like a zombie,” he shoved his black cellphone into my hand before leaving me alone at the rooftop.
I remember your number, I remember your mail address, I remember you face, I remember your kisses, I remember your touches, I remember all about you. But I just can’t do this.
Juri almost kicked my ass when I returned his phone that afternoon.
And when that memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
It’s been 5 months?? No. 7 months. Yamachan looked better nowadays. He would smile at Inoo’s random remarks, laugh whenever Hikaru made fun of Yuya’s hair or simply join Yuto planning pranks on Daiki.
After he left, grief took over the ever so noisy dressing room. Yamachan would cry all day. On less stressful days, one would find him at the emergency stairs, sobbing while looking at his phone. He’s waiting for him to call. I didn’t tell him what Juri told me and Keito when we accidentally met him during our date the other day.
“He won’t call. I told him millionth times already. He’s like a zombie himself. I’m so gonna kick his flat ass when he comes to his sense later.”
Silently, I thanked god for giving me the love I need. The love that I knew would risk his life just to make sure I’m happy.
And only lonesome you remains
And just the thought of you I fear
It falls away
“Yamachan, let’s go!” No respond. I walked closer and apparently, his mind was flying somewhere else. “Ne, Yamachan,” I poked his cheek and he finally turned to look at me, “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Koki-kun’s place. He invited us for his birthday party, remember?” Daichan answered.
“Oh. You guys go first. I’ll be there later.” We knew you wouldn’t come. And we also knew there’s no use forcing you. Ryu’s leave made a great impact to our lives. The usual noise and messy JUMP resumed, but everytime we laugh, we felt like something was missing.
I hope Yamachan realize that whatever he may feel, he’s not alone. We love Ryutaro too.
But today, I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
He didn’t pick up my calls or reply my mails. Yeah, I risked my career just to hear his voice again. Is love supposed to be this… hurtful?
People around kept blaming him for what happened. Accusing him for being an insolent brat, having all but ruined everything for the sake of the fucking cigarettes. What they failed to see was it’s all my fault. For being too comfortable with all the attentions, too confident with my dances, too absorbed into being called the Golden Boy and too stupid to realize that I hurt him in the process. And he decided to turn to something that he knew won’t ever ditch their date or ignore him because of the endless works.
If being surpassed by his own little brother had hurt him much even he didn’t bother to show it, having his boyfriend, the love of his life did the same thing broke him into pieces.
I broke him into pieces that I know no one could ever put the pieces back into place. Not even me.
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
I sat on the bench, waiting for him. I reread the mail for the nth times already. A smile crept up my mouth without me realizing.
Meet me at the usual place at 4.
I didn’t care it was short. I didn’t care he didn’t say he miss me. I didn’t care he didn’t say he love me. I didn’t care if Jimusho fired me for meeting him.
He still kept my mail address. He still remembered me. For all that matters.
“Been waiting long?” Finally. After these torturing months, I got to hear his voice again.
I gave him the best smile I could muster. “Not really. Come, sit here,” I patted the empty space beside me. He hesitated a bit, but sat nonetheless.
“Hey, do you know Yabu-kun is planning to propose Keito next week? He’s so sweet, don’t you think?”
“Yeah…”
“I wonder if we can be like them…”
“Ryo…”
“And Hikaru-kun confessed to Chinen the other day too...”
“Let’s break up.”
Minutes passed in silence. I looked up to him, ignoring the blurry vision and the aching heart. He’s crying too. Then why?
“I love you too much that it hurts so bad Ryo. I should see this coming. No matter how I try to convince myself it’ll be alright, I know it won’t. You know it too. You’re getting too far within my reach. I can’t force you to stay down low with me, and I can’t be in the same level as you either. Don’t tell me you are willing to let it all go, because I know damn well this job has become your life. I just can’t stand any of this anymore…”
Everything he said smacked me right on my face. That’s the truth.
“Take care.”
He stood up, hands in pocket and he leaned in to press our lips for a kiss. The last kiss. When I opened my eyes, he’s gone.
Goodbye.
This is another fail. I might stop writing for the rest of my life..